
Outofshapeworthlessloser
A Memoir of Figure Skating, F*cking Up, and Figuring It Out
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Narrated by:
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Gracie Gold
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By:
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Gracie Gold
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A “piercing account” (The Wall Street Journal) of surviving as a young woman in a society that rewards appearances more than anything and demands perfection at all costs—especially if you’re an Olympic figure skater.
“A riveting memoir, which details her experience with an eating disorder, depression and her high-stakes career.”—People (Best Books to Read in February 2024)
When Gracie Gold stepped onto center stage (or ice, rather) as America’s sweetheart at the 2014 Sochi Olympics, she instantly became the face of America’s most beloved winter sport. Beautiful, blonde, Midwestern, and media-trained, she was suddenly being written up everywhere from The New Yorker to Teen Vogue to People and baking cookies with Taylor Swift.
But little did the public know what Gold was facing when the cameras were off, driven by the self-destructive voice inside that she calls “outofshapeworthlessloser.” In 2017, she entered treatment for what was publicly announced as an eating disorder and anxiety treatment but was, in reality, suicidal ideation. While Gold’s public star was rising, her private life was falling apart: Cracks within her family were widening, her bulimia was getting worse, and she became a survivor of sexual assault. The pressure of training for years with demanding coaches and growing up in a household that accepted nothing less than gold had finally taken its toll.
Now Gold reveals the exclusive and harrowing story of her struggles in and out of the pressure-packed world of elite figure skating: the battles with her family, her coaches, the powers-that-be at her federation, and her deteriorating mental health.
Outofshapeworthlessloser is not only a forceful reckoning from a world-class athlete but also an intimate memoir, told with unflinching honesty and stirring defiance.
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What a Jerk.
- By ML Sadler on 03-06-17
By: William Finnegan
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Buried in the Sky
- The Extraordinary Story of the Sherpa Climbers on K2's Deadliest Day
- By: Peter Zuckerman, Amanda Padoan
- Narrated by: David Doersch
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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When Edmund Hillary first conquered Mt. Everest, Sherpa Tenzing Norgay was at his side. Indeed, for as long as Westerners have been climbing the Himalaya, Sherpas have been the unsung heroes in the background. In August 2008, when eleven climbers lost their lives on K2, the world’s most dangerous peak, two Sherpas survived. They had emerged from poverty and political turmoil to become two of the most skillful mountaineers on earth. Based on unprecedented access and interviews, Buried in the Sky reveals their astonishing story for the first time.
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Sherpas, The True Unsung Heroes
- By Kathy in CA on 07-26-15
By: Peter Zuckerman, and others
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Ball Four
- The Final Pitch
- By: Jim Bouton
- Narrated by: Jim Bouton
- Length: 18 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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When Ball Four was published in 1970, it created a firestorm. Bouton was called a Judas, a Benedict Arnold and a “social leper” for having violated the “sanctity of the clubhouse.” Baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn tried to force Bouton to sign a statement saying the book wasn’t true. Ballplayers, most of whom hadn’t read it, denounced the book. It was even banned by a few libraries. Almost everyone else, however, loved Ball Four.
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Three Ten Year Updates Give Bouton a 5th Star
- By Byron on 08-09-12
By: Jim Bouton
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The Unlikely Thru-Hiker
- An Appalachian Trail Journey
- By: Derick Lugo
- Narrated by: Derick Lugo
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Derick Lugo had never been hiking. He certainly couldn't imagine going more than a day without manicuring his goatee. But with a job cut short and no immediate plans, this fixture of the New York comedy scene began to think about what he might do with months of free time. He had heard of the Appalachian Trail, but he had never seriously considered attempting to hike all 2,184.2 miles of it. Suddenly he found himself asking, Could he do it?
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On My Feet All Day
- By bannedbum on 08-21-21
By: Derick Lugo
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The Last Season
- By: Eric Blehm
- Narrated by: Jonathan Davis
- Length: 12 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Destined to become a classic of adventure literature, The Last Season examines the extraordinary life of legendary backcountry ranger Randy Morgenson and his mysterious disappearance in California's unforgiving Sierra Nevada - mountains as perilous as they are beautiful. Eric Blehm's masterful work is a gripping detective story interwoven with the riveting biography of a complicated, original, and wholly fascinating man.
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Well Written Character Study of an NPS Ranger
- By Kathy in CA on 06-23-16
By: Eric Blehm
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Playing to Win
- By: Michael Lewis
- Narrated by: Michael Lewis
- Length: 2 hrs and 13 mins
- Original Recording
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All over America, families are investing blood, sweat, tears, and retirement savings in their children’s sports careers, all with the ultimate goal of…what exactly? A college scholarship? A professional contract? Simply the taste of victory? Through the lens of the highly competitive world of girls’ softball, Lewis reveals the youth sports industrial complex that has arisen to aggressively monetize after-school pastimes.
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Great Listen
- By Brian Bray on 10-15-20
By: Michael Lewis
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Such a great book
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Loved the audible!! Great narration
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actually written by an anorexic
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Seventeen-year-old Stevie is trapped. In her life. And now in an eating-disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desert. Life in the center is regimented and intrusive, a nightmare come true. Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime, accompany her to the bathroom, and challenge her to eat the foods she's worked so hard to avoid.
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The Fake Southern Accent? Yeeeeesh!
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Beautiful on the Outside
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Your mom probably told you it's what on the inside that counts. Well, then she was never a competitive figure skater. Olympic medalist Adam Rippon has been making it pretty for the judges even when, just below the surface, everything was an absolute mess. From traveling to practices on the Greyhound bus next to ex convicts to being so poor he could only afford to eat the free apples at his gym, Rippon got through the toughest times with a smile on his face, a glint in his eye, and quip ready for anyone listening. Beautiful on the Outside looks at his journey.
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My friend Adam.
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By: Adam Rippon
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One winter's night in 1976, over 20 million people in Britain watched John Curry skate to Olympic glory on an ice rink in Austria. Many millions more watched around the world. Overnight he became one of the most famous men on the planet. He was awarded the OBE. He was chosen as BBC Sports Personality of the Year. Curry had changed ice skating from marginal sport to high art. And yet the man was - and would always remain - an absolute mystery to a world that had been dazzled by his gift.
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So typical of a genius - tragedy and mental illness seem to be a hallmark
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My sophomore year changed everything. I dropped 40 pounds after a stint in fat camp. Prior to losing weight, most of my time was spent comparing myself to my twin sister and trying to hide my cankles. But losing weight made all things seem possible. Now I'm popular, vying for the hottest guy in school and competing for a prom queen nomination. Finally, I'm getting noticed, and it's all because I dropped the pounds.
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Skinny vs fat
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First-time novelist Natasha Friend is a writer with a talent for realistically expressing the fears and uncertainties of today’s adolescents in a good story. Perfect has received the Milkweed Prize for Children’s Literature and is a Book Sense "Winter Picks" selection. This is the moving story of a young girl who develops a dangerous eating disorder while dealing with intense grief.
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passable time passer
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Charlotte Bellows wrote The Definition of Beautiful between the ages of 15 and 17, in the wake of lockdown and in recovery from anorexia. In the tradition of Sylvia Plath in The Bell Jar and Françoise Sagan in Bonjour Tristesse, Bellows writes with deceptively straightforward urgency, pushing through society's constraints on the bodies and minds of girls and women to offer a story both achingly familiar and devastatingly new.
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Honest, beautiful body of work
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Do you ever get hungry? Too hungry to eat? Holly's older sister, Giselle, is self-destructing. Haunted by her love-deprived relationship with her late father, this once strong role model and medical student, is gripped by anorexia. Holly, a track star, struggles to keep her own life in balance while coping with the mental and physical deterioration of her beloved sister. Together, they can feel themselves slipping and are holding on for dear life.
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very nice
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Wintergirls
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Lia and Cassie are best friends, wintergirls frozen in fragile bodies, competitors in a deadly contest to see who can be the thinnest. But then Cassie suffers the ultimate loss - her life - and Lia is left behind, haunted by her friend's memory and racked with guilt for not being able to help save her.
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entertaining
- By Mora Barrientos on 11-03-19
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Finding the Edge
- My Life on the Ice
- By: Karen Chen, Natalie England
- Narrated by: Rachel L. Jacobs
- Length: 3 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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At 17, Karen Chen has already achieved what some girls can only dream of - and it's only the beginning for her. The daughter of Taiwanese immigrants, she began figure skating at five. Ten years and many grueling training sessions later, she won a bronze medal at the 2015 US Championships after sustaining a nearly career-ending ankle fracture a year earlier. In 2017, she became the US National Champion, winning gold twice and receiving the highest score ever recorded for the short program at the US National level.
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Love This Book!!!
- By JS5 on 07-08-24
By: Karen Chen, and others
What listeners say about Outofshapeworthlessloser
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- Eliza
- 02-08-24
Real, Raw, Honest, and Beautiful
The title of my review should speak for itself. Thank you Grace for the opportunity to get to know you and your beautiful journey in this world.
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- Anonymous User
- 02-14-24
Raw honesty
Really no words to describe the gift that GG has given the world. Thank you ❤️
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- Michael
- 02-11-24
A beautiful and brave story!
Moving and inspiring. A very candid and important story. I loved it. Definitely a must for skating fans but anyone would enjoy hearing about this tale of authenticity and loving yourself regardless of yourself.
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- Lauren
- 02-18-24
Best book I read all year
Thank goodness for this honesty. In a world of fake everything, this is exactly what I needed. I literally couldn’t stop reading it. Gave me lots of hope for our future.
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- Diana Roderick
- 02-13-24
The truthfulness and heart to tell her story.
Loved this memoir. It’s very important for people struggling with mental health. No matter what the sport or life situation.
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- Joe Siegel
- 02-10-24
wow
deep, dark, and refreshingly honest dive into not only the culture of figure skating but also mental health. truly a good listen
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- Sweeti2056
- 02-17-24
Striking and honest
Thank you for sharing your story! I could relate to much of your story. I laughed and cried.
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- julia colello
- 02-15-24
Honest and beautifully written
I grew up figure skating and Gracie Gold was my favorite skater to watch. This book was so open an honest not just about her experiences, but about the experiences we all face in the world of ice skating. So my of my lived experiences that I could never put into words, suddenly have a voice. Thank you for writing this amazing book Gracie, and keep doing the great you do on speaking out about mental health in sports and specifically skating.
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- jodiod
- 03-15-24
Extraordinary
Truly great memoir and narration. I’m a 60 yr old ex skater who went thru the mind game and eating disorder as well. Things are the same. The world has changed but not enough. But the act of skating is magical. Thank you Gracie. PS. I saw you at all the Nationals in San Jose.
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- JGomez
- 03-17-24
Favorite Memoir I’ve read!
I’m so proud of Gracie Gold for telling the world her story. I love and appreciate her so much more now. This is an amazing and honest memoir that fans of skating and beyond would benefit greatly from and enjoy.
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