Polar Bear
Warning: Do Not Try This at Home
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Narrated by:
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Gary Roelofs
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By:
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Will Bevis
About this listen
Note: This story is NOT for minors and contains profanity and adult situations. Please do not purchase if that will offend you.
Navy Lieutenant G. Palmatier has a small problem: A polar bear. But he's not going to let a little thing like that come between him and the crazy redhead he loves. Especially since he's so drunk he won't feel a thing til after it is all over. Don't try what he tries at home.
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Story
Eighteen-year-old Aidan Salt isn't a superhero. With his powerful (and unpredictable) telekinetic abilities, he could be one if he wanted to, but he doesn't. He's unambitious, selfish, and cowardly, and he doesn't want to have to deal with all the paperwork required to become a professional superhero. But since the money, fame, and women that come with wearing the cape are appealing, he decides to become the first supervillain the world has seen in more than 20 years: Apex Strike.
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I DIDN'T WAKE UP DEAD, THAT WAS A GOOD START
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 01-13-17
By: Matt Carter
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Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- By: Robert Bevan
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
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A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
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The Lesser Dead
- By: Christopher Buehlman
- Narrated by: Christopher Buehlman
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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New York City in 1978 is a dirty, dangerous place to live - and die. Joey Peacock knows this as well as anybody - he has spent the last forty years as an adolescent vampire, perfecting the routine he now enjoys: womanizing in punk clubs and discotheques, feeding by night, and sleeping by day with others of his kind in the macabre labyrinth under the city's sidewalks.
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NICE GUYS NEARLY ALWAYS FINISH LAST
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-27-17
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Resurrection of the Damned
- War of the Damned, Book 1
- By: Michael Todd, Michael Anderle, Laurie Starkey
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world invaded by demons, it's up to Katie and her Killers to restore order while also evading enemies - and friends - who want her in the worst way.
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Totally Spoiled Storyline
- By Linda Luella on 01-03-20
By: Michael Todd, and others
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Cannibal Reign
- By: Thomas Koloniar
- Narrated by: Brian Hutchison
- Length: 14 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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First the asteroid would come, slamming into the earth just north of the Montana border, followed by earthquakes, tsunamis, and unending night. And after that... Hell. Astronomer Marty Chittenden is the first to recognize the approaching doom - a discovery that makes him a marked man. Green Beret Jack Forrest knows the catastrophe is inevitable and begins stockpiling an abandoned missile silo with supplies while gathering together a small community of men, women, and children he prays can survive the apocalypse.
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original post apocalyptic
- By Midwestbonsai on 05-18-15
By: Thomas Koloniar
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Ham on Rye
- A Novel
- By: Charles Bukowski
- Narrated by: Christian Baskous
- Length: 7 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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In what is widely hailed as the best of his many novels, Charles Bukowski details the long, lonely years of his own hardscrabble youth in the raw voice of alter ego Henry Chinaski. From a harrowingly cheerless childhood in Germany through acne-riddled high school years, and his adolescent discoveries of alcohol, women, and the Los Angeles Public Library's collection of D. H. Lawrence, Ham on Rye offers a crude, brutal, and savagely funny portrait of an outcast's coming-of-age during the desperate days of the Great Depression.
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Men's version of Virginia Woolf
- By I Ate Your Pug For Lunch and It was Tasty on 12-09-13
By: Charles Bukowski
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Sandman Slim
- Sandman Slim, Book 1
- By: Richard Kadrey
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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When he was 19, James Stark was considered to be one of the greatest natural magicians, a reputation that got him demon-snatched and sent downtown - to Hell - where he survived as a gladiator, a sideshow freak entertaining Satan's fallen angels. That was 11 years ago. Now, the hitman who goes only by Stark has escaped and is back in L.A. Armed with a fortune-telling coin, a black bone knife, and an infernal key, Stark is determined to destroy the magic circle.
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jack bauer + spawn = sandman slim
- By Mike Naka on 11-03-12
By: Richard Kadrey
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Smoke Eaters
- By: Sean Grigsby
- Narrated by: T. Ryder Smith
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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When dragons rise from the earth, firefighters are humanity's last line of defense, in this wild near-future fantasy. Firefighter Cole Brannigan is on the verge of retirement after 30 years on the job, and a decade fighting dragons. But during his final fire call, he discovers he's immune to dragon smoke. It's such a rare power that he's immediately conscripted into the elite dragon-fighting force known as the Smoke Eaters. Retirement cancelled, Brannigan is re-assigned as a lowly rookie.
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Highly Enjoyable!
- By Logan on 04-07-18
By: Sean Grigsby
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The Rabbit Factory
- By: Marshall Karp
- Narrated by: Tom Stechschulte, James Jenner
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Marshall Karp is an acclaimed playwright known for his witty sense of humor and crackling dialogue. His debut novel The Rabbit Factory stars the irreverent LAPD detective duo of Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs. Dean Lamaar is the architect of an entertainment empire and the creator of iconic characters like Rambunctious Rabbit and McGreedy the Moose.
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Bizarre but engaging mystery.1st-rate performance.
- By MidwestGeek on 12-19-12
By: Marshall Karp
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The Right Side
- By: Spencer Quinn
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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LeAnne Hogan went to Afghanistan as a rising star in the military and came back a much lesser person, mentally and physically. Now missing an eye and with half her face badly scarred, she can barely remember the disastrous desert operation that almost killed her. She is confused, angry, and suspects the fault is hers, even though nobody will come out and say it. Shattered by one last blow - the sudden death of her hospital roommate, Marci - LeAnne finds herself on a fateful drive across the country, reflecting on her past and seeing no future.
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Congratulations to Spencer Quinn
- By cherry patrick jamison on 07-14-17
By: Spencer Quinn