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Refusing Compulsory Sexuality
- A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture
- Narrated by: Yu-Li Alice Shen
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
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Publisher's summary
For listeners of Ace and Belly of the Beast: A Black queer feminist exploration of asexuality—and an incisive interrogation of the sex-obsessed culture that invisibilizes and ignores asexual and A-spec identity.
Everything you know about sex and asexuality is (probably) wrong.
The notion that everyone wants sex—and that we all have to have it—is false. It’s intertwined with our ideas about capitalism, race, gender, and queerness. And it impacts the most marginalized among us. For asexual folks, it means that ace and A-spec identity is often defined by a queerness that’s not queer enough, seen through a lens of perceived lack: lack of pleasure, connection, joy, maturity, and even humanity.
In this exploration of what it means to be Black and asexual in America today, Sherronda J. Brown offers new perspectives on asexuality. She takes an incisive look at how anti-Blackness, white supremacy, patriarchy, heteronormativity, and capitalism enact harm against asexual people, contextualizing acephobia within a racial framework in the first book of its kind. Brown advocates for the “A” in LGBTQIA+, affirming that to be asexual is to be queer—despite the gatekeeping and denial that often says otherwise.
With chapters on desire, f--kability, utility, refusal, and possibilities, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality discusses topics of deep relevance to ace and a-spec communities. It centers the Black asexual experience—and demands visibility in a world that pathologizes and denies asexuality, denigrates queerness, and specifically sexualizes Black people.
A necessary and unapologetic reclamation, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality is smart, timely, and an essential book for asexuals, aromantics, queer listeners, and anyone looking to better understand sexual politics in America.
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Critic reviews
“Highly educational, expertly researched, and easy to digest, Refusing Compulsory Sexuality eloquently reframes our understanding of asexuality, Blackness, and how the two intersect, providing an essential contribution to a discussion that is often dominated by white voices and perspectives.”—Yasmin Benoit, asexual activist and model
“Sherronda’s writings continue to be a gift to the reader. With Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, they expand our understanding of gender, sexuality, and (anti-) Blackness with deftness and precision while also pushing us to rethink our understanding of asexuality and our relationships with ourselves and others. Without any doubt, people will find themselves in this book after spending years trying to find themselves elsewhere, and for those readers, this book will be home.”—Lara Witt, writer and editorial director of Prism
“With Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, Sherronda continues to introduce us all to a new and/or deeper perspective on (a)sexuality, queerness, and desire with razor-sharp racial analysis, limpid prose, and incredible research. She is keenly aware of the ways that Black folks have often been removed from conversations specific to asexuality; the ways that the hypersexualization of queer identity has played a significant role in the subjugation of folks on (and outside of) the ace spectrum; and the ways that the hypersexualization of Black flesh is a particular form of anti-Blackness that has been employed by white and non-Black people for centuries—across political lines—to hurt, harm, and abuse Black(ened) subjects…. Sherronda proves with Refusing Compulsory Sexuality that they are a leading thinker in asexuality scholarship; gender and sexuality studies will never be the same.”—Da’Shaun L. Harrison, author of Belly of the Beast
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By: Kate Manne
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What's Wrong with Homosexuality?
- By: John Corvino
- Narrated by: J. Paul Guimont
- Length: 4 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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For the last 20 years, John Corvino - widely known as the author of the weekly column "The Gay Moralist" - has traversed the country responding to moral and religious arguments against same-sex relationships. In this timely audiobook, he shares that experience - addressing the standard objections to homosexuality and offering insight into the culture wars more generally. Is homosexuality unnatural? Does the Bible condemn it? Are people born gay (and should it matter either way)? Corvino approaches such questions with precision, sensitivity, and good humor.
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Great book and great author
- By Anonymous User on 06-21-18
By: John Corvino
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Before We Were Trans
- A New History of Gender
- By: Dr. Kit Heyam Ph.D
- Narrated by: Dr. Kit Heyam Ph.D
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Before We Were Trans illuminates the stories of people across the globe, from antiquity to the present, whose experiences of gender have defied binary categories. Blending historical analysis with sharp cultural criticism, trans historian and activist Kit Heyam offers a new, radically inclusive trans history, chronicling expressions of trans experience that are often overlooked, like gender-nonconforming fashion and wartime stage performance. Heyam looks to the past to uncover new horizons for possible trans futures.
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The history we need right now
- By Daniel Hebert on 04-11-23
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On Freedom
- Four Songs of Care and Constraint
- By: Maggie Nelson
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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So often deployed as a jingoistic, even menacing rallying cry, or limited by a focus on passing moments of liberation, the rhetoric of freedom both rouses and repels. Does it remain key to our autonomy, justice, and well-being, or is freedom's long star turn coming to a close? Does a continued obsession with the term enliven and emancipate, or reflect a deepening nihilism (or both)? On Freedom examines such questions by tracing the concept's complexities in four distinct realms: art, sex, drugs, and climate.
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Just great
- By Kristi Strong on 12-14-21
By: Maggie Nelson
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The Rise of the New Puritans
- Fighting Back Against Progressives’ War on Fun
- By: Noah Rothman
- Narrated by: Noah Rothman
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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The Left used to be the party of the hippies and the free spirits. Now it’s home to woke scolds and humorless idealogues. The New Puritans can judge a person’s moral character by their clothes, Netflix queue, fast food favorites, the sports they watch, and the company they keep. No choice is neutral, no sphere is private. Not since the Puritans has a political movement wanted so much power over your thoughts, hobbies, and preferences every minute of your day. In the process, they are sucking the joy out of life.
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Great, fast summer read
- By Joseph Spiegel on 07-18-22
By: Noah Rothman
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The Unholy Trinity
- Blocking the Left's Assault on Life, Marriage, and Gender
- By: Matt Walsh
- Narrated by: Rand Archer
- Length: 6 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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This highly anticipated debut from Matt Walsh of The Blaze demands that conservative voters make a last stand and fight for the moral center of America. The Trump presidency and Republican Congress provides an urgent opportunity to stop the Left's value-bending march to destroy the culture of our country. Republican control of the presidency, senate, and House of Representatives for the next two years is a precious - and fleeting - gift to conservatives.
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An excellent read
- By Don Huslage on 12-18-19
By: Matt Walsh
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The Way We Never Were
- American Families and the Nostalgia Trap
- By: Stephanie Coontz
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 17 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Leave It to Beaver was not a documentary, a man's home has never been his castle, the "male breadwinner marriage" is the least traditional family in history, and rape and sexual assault were far higher in the 1970s than they are today. In The Way We Never Were, acclaimed historian Stephanie Coontz examines two centuries of the American family, sweeping away misconceptions about the past that cloud current debates about domestic life. The 1950s do not present a workable model of how to conduct our personal lives today, Coontz argues.
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fantastic report on the dangers of nostalgia
- By Richard Stine on 06-29-21
By: Stephanie Coontz
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The Science of Good and Evil
- Why People Cheat, Gossip, Care, Share, and Follow the Golden Rule
- By: Michael Shermer
- Length: 2 hrs and 21 mins
- Abridged
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In The Science of Good and Evil, psychologist and science historian Michael Shermer explores how humans evolved from social primates into moral primates, how and why morality motivates the human animal, and how the foundation of moral principles can be built upon empirical evidence. Along the way he explains the implications of scientific findings for fate and free will, the existence of pure good and pure evil, and the development of early moral sentiments among the first humans.
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Read by author
- By Gregory A. Townsend on 04-16-23
By: Michael Shermer
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The Invincible Family
- Why the Global Campaign to Crush Motherhood and Fatherhood Can't Win
- By: Kimberly Ells
- Narrated by: Becky White
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Socialists and feminists have long targeted the family as an enemy, even the enemy. For socialists, the family is an obstacle to the full power of the progressive state. For feminists, the family denies female independence and equality. Today, however, the battle has grown even fiercer, as socialists and feminists have found a global ally in the United Nations, which is using its extraordinary power to undercut the authority and the sanctity of the family around the world - even in the United States.
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Must read for all mothers.
- By Andrea G on 07-07-23
By: Kimberly Ells
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We Cannot Be Silent
- Speaking Truth to a Culture Redefining Sex, Marriage, and the Very Meaning of Right and Wrong
- By: R. Albert Mohler
- Narrated by: Anthony Grant
- Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Twenty years ago, not one nation on earth had legal same-sex marriage. Now, access to same-sex marriage is increasingly seen as a basic human right. In a matter of less than a generation, Western cultures have experienced a moral revolution. Dr. R. Albert Mohler examines how this transformation occurred, revealing the underlying cultural shifts behind this revolution.
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The Gospel Truth!
- By angelgirl7 on 04-10-19
By: R. Albert Mohler
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Covering
- The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights
- By: Kenji Yoshino
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone covers. To cover is to downplay a disfavored trait so as to blend into the mainstream. Because all of us possess stigmatized attributes, we all encounter pressure to cover in our daily lives. Given its pervasiveness, we may experience this pressure to be a simple fact of social life. Against conventional understanding, Kenji Yoshino argues that the demand to cover can pose a hidden threat to our civil rights.
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Humane Advocacy in Law and Life
- By Patroclus Menoetius on 07-27-20
By: Kenji Yoshino
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Identity
- The Demand for Dignity and the Politics of Resentment
- By: Francis Fukuyama
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2014, Francis Fukuyama wrote that American institutions were in decay, as the state was progressively captured by powerful interest groups. Two years later, his predictions were borne out by the rise to power of a series of political outsiders whose economic nationalism and authoritarian tendencies threatened to destabilize the entire international order. These populist nationalists seek direct charismatic connection to “the people”, who are usually defined in narrow identity terms that offer an irresistible call to an in-group and exclude large parts of the population as a whole.
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Robotic narrator
- By Shahin on 09-19-18
By: Francis Fukuyama
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The Blank Slate
- The Modern Denial of Human Nature
- By: Steven Pinker
- Narrated by: Victor Bevine
- Length: 22 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Blank Slate, Steven Pinker, one of the world's leading experts on language and the mind, explores the idea of human nature and its moral, emotional, and political colorings. With characteristic wit, lucidity, and insight, Pinker argues that the dogma that the mind has no innate traits, denies our common humanity and our individual preferences, replaces objective analyses of social problems with feel-good slogans, and distorts our understanding of politics, violence, parenting, and the arts.
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Don't bother. Outdated science & poor logic...
- By ejf211 on 03-31-10
By: Steven Pinker
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The Transgender Teen
- A Handbook for Parents and Professionals Supporting Transgender and Non-Binary Teens
- By: Stephanie A. Brill, Lisa Kenney
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 9 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Is it just a phase, a fad, or a real issue with your teen? This comprehensive guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising a teenager who may be transgender, gender-variant, or gender-fluid. Covering extensive research and with many personal interviews, as well as years of experience working in the field, the author covers pressing concerns relating to physical and emotional development, social and school pressures, medical options, and family communications.
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Good information at its core
- By Jeff on 05-22-19
By: Stephanie A. Brill, and others
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Moral Politics
- How Liberals and Conservatives Think, 3rd Edition
- By: George Lakoff
- Narrated by: Fajer Al-Kaisi
- Length: 13 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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When Moral Politics was first published two decades ago, it redefined how Americans think and talk about politics through the lens of cognitive political psychology. Today, George Lakoff's classic text has become all the more relevant, as liberals and conservatives have come to hold even more vigorously opposed views of the world, with the underlying assumptions of their respective worldviews at the level of basic morality.
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extremely insightful. awful to get through.
- By Dave on 05-09-18
By: George Lakoff
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I can't recommend this highly enough
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The Deviant's War
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In 1957, Frank Kameny, a rising astronomer working for the US Military in Hawaii, received a summons to report immediately to Washington, DC. The Pentagon had reason to believe he was a homosexual, and after a series of humiliating interviews, Kameny - like gay men and women for generations - was promptly dismissed from the military. Unlike many others, though, Kameny fought back.
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Big Surprise
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Before We Were Trans
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Before We Were Trans illuminates the stories of people across the globe, from antiquity to the present, whose experiences of gender have defied binary categories. Blending historical analysis with sharp cultural criticism, trans historian and activist Kit Heyam offers a new, radically inclusive trans history, chronicling expressions of trans experience that are often overlooked, like gender-nonconforming fashion and wartime stage performance. Heyam looks to the past to uncover new horizons for possible trans futures.
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The history we need right now
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Late Bloomer
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Winning the lottery has ruined Opal Devlin's life. After quitting her dead-end job where she’d earned minimum wage and even less respect, she’s bombarded by people knocking at her door for a handout the second they found out her bank account was overflowing with cash. And Opal can’t seem to stop saying yes.
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I liked this book
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Feminism Is for Everybody
- Passionate Politics
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What is feminism? In this short, accessible primer, Bell Hooks explores the nature of feminism and its positive promise to eliminate sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression. With her characteristic clarity and directness, Hooks encourages readers to see how feminism can touch and change their lives - to see that feminism is for everybody.
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Excellent Introduction to Feminism
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Ain't I a Woman
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A classic work of feminist scholarship, Ain't I a Woman has become a must for all those interested in the nature of Black womanhood. Examining the impact of sexism on Black women during slavery, the devaluation of black womanhood, black male sexism, racism among feminists, and the black woman's involvement with feminism, hooks attempts to move us beyond racist and sexist assumptions. The result is nothing short of groundbreaking, giving this work a critical place in every feminist scholar's library.
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Informative
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Decolonizing Therapy
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An essential work that centers colonial and historical trauma in a framework for healing, Decolonizing Therapy illuminates that all therapy is—and always has been—inherently political. To better understand the mental health oppression and institutional violence that exists today, we must become familiar with the root of disembodiment from our histories, homelands, and healing practices. Only then will listeners see how colonial, historical, and intergenerational legacies have always played a role in the treatment of mental health.
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Saving my life.
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The Will to Change
- Men, Masculinity, and Love
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- Unabridged
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Everyone needs to love and be loved - even men. But to know love, men must be able to look at the ways that patriarchal culture keeps them from knowing themselves, from being in touch with their feelings, from loving. In The Will to Change, bell hooks gets to the heart of the matter and shows men how to express the emotions that are a fundamental part of who they are - whatever their age, marital status, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.
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A unique call to an ethic of creative love
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
- Relationship Repair in a Flash
- By: Nancy Dreyfus PsyD
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
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Talk to Me like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. This revised edition features two new sections - one on making love and another on deepening trust - containing more than 25 new "flash cards for real life", statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them.
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
- By Brandy Fagan on 09-13-22
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Want
- Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous
- By: Gillian Anderson
- Narrated by: Gillian Anderson, Anonymous
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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When we talk about sex, we talk about womanhood and motherhood, infidelity and exploitation, consent and respect, fairness and egalitarianism, love and hate, pleasure and pain. And yet for many reasons—some complicated, some not—so many of us don’t talk about it. Our deepest, most intimate fears and fantasies remain locked away inside of us, until someone comes along with the key. Here’s the key. In this generation-defining book, Gillian Anderson collects and introduces the anonymous letters of hundreds of self-identifying women from around the world (along with her own anonymous letter).
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Gillian goes over the top
- By MRD on 10-24-24
By: Gillian Anderson
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Hood Feminism
- Notes from the Women that a Movement Forgot
- By: Mikki Kendall
- Narrated by: Mikki Kendall
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Today's feminist movement has a glaring blind spot, and paradoxically, it is women. Mainstream feminists rarely talk about meeting basic needs as a feminist issue, argues Mikki Kendall, but food insecurity, access to quality education, safe neighborhoods, a living wage, and medical care are all feminist issues. All too often, however, the focus is not on basic survival for the many, but on increasing privilege for the few. Author Mikki Kendall takes aim at the legitimacy of the modern feminist movement arguing that it has chronically failed to address the needs of all but a few women.
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I Learned So Much!!!
- By Rebecca on 06-13-20
By: Mikki Kendall
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What My Bones Know
- A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma
- By: Stephanie Foo
- Narrated by: Stephanie Foo
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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By age thirty, Stephanie Foo was successful on paper: She had her dream job as an award-winning radio producer at This American Life and a loving boyfriend. But behind her office door, she was having panic attacks and sobbing at her desk every morning. After years of questioning what was wrong with herself, she was diagnosed with complex PTSD—a condition that occurs when trauma happens continuously, over the course of years.
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Complex PTSD from a patient's point of view!
- By Howard_a on 05-24-22
By: Stephanie Foo
What listeners say about Refusing Compulsory Sexuality
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- Anton
- 07-27-24
relatable (love it)
I've been an outspoken mixed race asexual for about 8 years now. it's very nice hearing I'm not alone, at all. these experiences I've had are not isolated to me alone. thank you so much for writing this Sherronda!
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- E
- 06-21-23
Important and Insightful
"The future we imagine must be a reality in which we collectively do more to combat the things that continually leave asexuals unprotected. To create this future, we have to consistently challenge both compulsory sexuality and white supremacist ideologies" (chapter "Possibilities," print book page 169)
"The Black asexual is rendered impossible through the (il)logics of anti-Black sexual racism, white supremacy, and compulsory sexuality. A world that allows for Black asexuals to be seen as possible, to live more freely in our asexuality, would also be a revolution for all others racialized, gendered, and queered. Such a world requires us to combat white supremacist ideologies and the very idea of 'human'" (chapter "Unhuman," print book page 122)
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- Sophia
- 10-30-23
Highly rec!
Thought provoking about multiple topics and many moments of feeling seen. Helped me on my journey of having a healthier perspective on sexuality. Definitely heed the content warnings for each chapter. There is a lot of mention of situations that could be possibly upsetting. Only critiques (story & performance combined) would be for the use of references. It felt like too many references to tweets (I don't find those to be helpful), and when other works were referenced I couldn't quite tell when the quote started or ended, or why the author would explain another author's idea in depth, rather than recommend we read the referenced work ourselves. Narration was good, a bit monotone, but also slightly aggressive in a way that gave me anxiety. I'm pretty picky about narration, though.
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- Joená
- 03-16-23
Their pen!
Brown articulates so many topics in that I’ve contemplated and resonated with yet could not quite explain. Grateful for their mind!
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- Krystal
- 07-08-24
Eye Opening and Validating
Three things: Firstly, the narration done by Yu-Li Alice Shen was impeccable! Secondly, Sherronda J. Brown should have won an award for this book and it is an injustice that she did not. Thirdly, this book was well written, expertly researched and highly educational and validating. Sherronda writes from a rarely seen perspective that is highly refreshing and informative, while reaffirming the existence of acespec individuals living within a society that would often times wish to erase it or overwrite it. Bravo!
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- Dana M. Brown
- 01-03-23
Finally
I loved this book & didn't want it to end! I feel validated in a way that I didn't feel with Ace by Angela Chen (started that book when it first came out & still working on it). I now have language that describes how I've felt my entire life. The book is academic in it's approach & I quickly got used to it. I wish they went with a Black narrator, but Yu-Li Alice Shen did a great job! Sherronda J. Brown, thank you!
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- Jessica
- 02-18-23
My heart swells for I am finally seen!
This book is wonderful! There’s so much care and intention in the text! Thank you!!
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- Duncan
- 09-24-22
A much needed, groundbreaking book!
this was a deeply informative and pioneering book with a compelling performance. highly recommended
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- Vanessa
- 12-09-23
Asexuality within a historical and political context
This is the book i needed as a teen in the 00’s and the book i needed in my 20s. But I have it now and am grateful for it.
If you are a marginalized person, aware of the mechanisms that create the conditions for your marginalization, this book will help clarify how those same mechanisms manifest in how your sexuality/asexuality is perceived/treated by society and how it manifests in the self as well.
The etymology of ‘radical’ is related to the word for ‘root’. In that sense, this book is a radical review of the root reasons for compulsory sexuality and the harm it inflicts.
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- amyraelle
- 09-21-24
A necessary text for our world
The concepts and facts in this book helped me learn about myself and our society in ways no other book has in years. I hope more people pick this book up. It’s critical reading in the healing of our world.
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