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Scarred
- The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult That Bound My Life
- Narrated by: Sarah Edmondson
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
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Publisher's summary
The shocking and subversive memoir of a 12-year-NXIVM-member-turned-whistleblower, and her inspiring true story of abuse, escape, and redemption.
"Master, would you brand me? It would be an honor."
Scarred follows actress Sarah Edmondson's account of her recruitment into the NXIVM cult, founded by Keith Raniere. It narrates in detail the 12 years she spent within the organization, during which she enrolled over 2,000 members, chronicling her breaking point and her harrowing fight to get out, help others, and heal.
- Complete with personal photographs, this tell-all follows Sarah from the moment she takes her first NXIVM seminar, to the invitation she accepts from her best friend, Lauren Salzman, into DOS - a "secret sisterhood" within the cult - to her journey toward becoming a key witness in the federal case against its founders.
- Listeners will learn how cults like NXIVM get started, why people get involved (and stay), and the importance of whistleblowers who bring light to illegal and unethical practices.
- Sarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress and playwright who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than 12 films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM and The Vow, the upcoming HBO documentary series on NXIVM.
Scarred isn't just about NXIVM. It is also a story about abuses of power, the role female friendships play in cults, and how sometimes the search to be "better" can override everything else.
- A thrilling listen for fans of true crime and cults, as well as listeners of podcasts like My Favorite Murder and Up and Vanished.
- Great for fans of Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology by Leah Remini, Escape by Carolyn Jessop, Beyond Belief by Jenna Miscavige Hill, and Bad Blood by John Carreyrou.
- Evokes questions about friendship, ethics, good, and evil, making it a perfect selection for book clubs.
Audio edition read by the author.
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We seek solace from our suffering and look for wisdom outside the confines of dogma, but soon we're drowning in vague spiritual lingo - intention, higher self, attraction, vibration - that's poetry at best and manipulation at worst. Mastin Kipp offers no fancy degrees, just his life and his scars, which form a roadmap to help guide you through the uncertainty that lies ahead, marking where the cliffs are slippery, where the sun burns hot - and where Grace blossoms.
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Just ok
- By Elizabeth on 07-01-15
By: Mastin Kipp
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Women Rocking Business
- By: Sage Lavine
- Narrated by: Sage Lavine
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Can a woman like me, with just the spark of an idea, actually start a business and make money? Can I have a meaningful career that fits into my life instead of fitting my life into the cracks of my work schedule? If you're asking these questions, you've come to the right place - and the answer is a resounding YES!
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This is a well thought out, inspiring blueprint to better your life
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By: Sage Lavine
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Nothing Changes Until You Do
- A Guide to Self-Compassion and Getting Out of Your Own Way
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After three years of living his dream as a professional baseball pitcher, Mike Robbins had an arm injury that benched him for good, and when this happened, he had to figure out who he was without the identity of "baseball player" - a process fraught with emotional highs and lows. He quickly realized that the self-criticism and self-doubt he was feeling are epidemic in our culture. Too often we base our value on our external world - our jobs, finances, appearance, or various other factors.
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20% Inspiration, 80% Biography
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Disrupt-Her
- A Manifesto for the Modern Woman
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In order to navigate the complicated - at times maddening - struggles of contemporary femininity, we need an unabashed manifesto for the modern woman that inspires us to move past outrage and take positive steps on the personal, professional, and societal levels. This manifesto galvanizes us to action in 13 major areas of our lives with as much firepower as possible. These are the credos we live by, the advice we give to friends, the tenets we instill in our companies and peers on a daily basis.
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Privileged woman signaling wokeness
- By Anonymous User on 04-29-19
By: Miki Agrawal
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The Big Life
- Embrace the Mess, Work Your Side Hustle, Find a Monumental Relationship, and Become the Badass Babe You Were Meant to Be
- By: Ann Shoket
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell, Ann Shoket
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The Big Life is packed with actionable guidance combined with personal advice from high-profile millennial women who have already achieved tremendous success, plus intimate conversations with a cast of compelling characters and Shoket's own stories on her quest for The Big Life. You'll learn to tackle all of the issues on heavy rotation in your mind.
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Just OK
- By Alexandra Medina on 05-15-17
By: Ann Shoket
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Things No One Else Can Teach Us
- Turning Losses into Lessons
- By: Humble the Poet
- Narrated by: Humble the Poet
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Every one of us endures setbacks, disappointments, and failures that can incapacitate us. But we don’t have to let them. Instead, we can use these events as opportunities for growth. In Things No One Else Can Teach Us, Humble the Poet flips the conventional script for happiness and success, showing us how our most painful experiences can be our greatest teachers.
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HTP’S STORY AND LESSONS LEARNED
- By jaga on 11-04-19
By: Humble the Poet
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The Power of Who
- You Already Know Everyone You Need To Know
- By: Bob Beaudine
- Narrated by: Bob Beaudine
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Do you know that key relationships have been specifically placed to help you in ways you never imagined? Do you realize there are special people who are not just happenstance acquaintances but strategic relationships to help you find the life of your dream? Have you missed the simplicity behind this mysterious thing called DESTINY? Perhaps the real problem of finding your dream isn't about who you don't know, but whom you've neglected.
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A silly treatment of a serious topic
- By Gare&Sophia on 12-04-12
By: Bob Beaudine
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How to Get Sh*t Done
- Why Women Need to Stop Doing Everything So They Can Achieve Anything
- By: Erin Falconer
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Finally, in the first productivity book by a woman in a decade, Erin Falconer will show you how to do less - a lot less. In fact, How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to offload, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest. In How to Get Sh*t Done she shows how even the most perfectionistic among us can tap in to our inner free spirit and learn to feel like badasses rather than drudges.
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Not What I Expected
- By Justin Jones on 02-05-18
By: Erin Falconer
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Becoming Super Woman
- A Simple 12-Step Plan to Go from Burnout to Balance
- By: Nicole Lapin
- Narrated by: Nicole Lapin
- Length: 8 hrs and 38 mins
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Overall
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It's time to stop putting yourself at the bottom of every to-do list and start taking care of yourself first. It's time to leave Superwoman in the movies, where she belongs, and say hello to being a super woman - the best, most productive version of the hero you already are.
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Easy Listen and advice that is actually useful
- By Sean E. Huie on 10-21-19
By: Nicole Lapin
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The Power of Being Yourself
- A Game Plan for Success by Putting Passion into Your Life and Work
- By: Joe Plumeri
- Narrated by: Joe Plumeri, Joseph A. Califano Jr.
- Length: 4 hrs and 48 mins
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Performance
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Story
Everyone imagines top CEOs as larger-than-life figures who do things no one else could. But deep down every good business leader is an everyman who combines vision and high energy with the ability to connect with all types of people and learn from them
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Go Play in Traffic!
- By Teri Gasper on 01-03-18
By: Joe Plumeri
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Letters to a Young Sister
- By: Harper Hill
- Narrated by: Kevin R. Free
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Winner of two NAACP awards for his writing, bestselling author Hill Harper is an acclaimed actor known for his role on CSI: NY. A Brown University and Harvard Law School alum, Harper is also a passionate public servant. In this book he offers comforting advice for today's youth through his own wisdom as well as that of such luminaries as Michelle Obama and Angela Bassett.
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Keep writing young brother.
- By Charles Henderson on 03-02-10
By: Harper Hill
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The Memo
- What Women of Color Need to Know to Secure a Seat at the Table
- By: Minda Harts
- Narrated by: Minda Harts
- Length: 4 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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The Memo is the much-needed career advice guide for women of color specifically, finally ending the one-size-fits-all approach of business books that lump together women across races and overlook the unique barriers to success for women of color. In a charismatic and relatable voice, Minda Harts brings her entrepreneurial experience as CEO of The Memo to audio, as well as her past career life as a fundraising consultant to top colleges across the country.
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Must read (listen) for EVERY woman
- By VJ Smith on 08-28-19
By: Minda Harts
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Slay Like a Mother
- How to Destroy What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want
- By: Katherine Wintsch
- Narrated by: Katherine Wintsch
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
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In this emotionally charged how-to guide, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll discover eye-opening lessons about: The mask you're wearing. The one you hide behind when you say everything is "just fine" when it's not. Your unrealistic expectations. The goal-setting tactics you're deploying to get ahead could be what's holding you back. The difference between struggling and suffering. Being a mother is a struggle - it always has been - but your suffering is optional.
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Great for dads too!
- By Earl Cox on 06-20-19
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Still Learning is India Oxenberg’s intimate, first-person account of how she was lured into and, seven years later, escaped from the NXIVM cult, DOS. As the secret sorority within NXIVM's vast Ponzi network, DOS was created by Keith Raniere and his acolytes to serve as a source of "slaves" to Keith and the other “masters”. Despite the fantastical headlines, the focus of Still Learning reflects what many parents and age peers of India’s will recognize as a far more familiar 20-something conundrum - a new adult trying to discover who she is.
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Cults prey on the very attributes that make us human: our desire to belong, to find a deeper meaning in life, to live everyday with divine purpose. Their existence creates a sense that any one of us, at any time, could step off the cliff’s edge and fall into that daunting abyss of manipulation and unhinged dedication to a misplaced cause. Perhaps it’s this mindset that keeps us so utterly obsessed and desperate to learn more, or it’s that the stories are so bizarre and unsettling that we are simply in awe of the mechanics that make these infamous groups tick.
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In a world where rational, scientific explanations are more available than ever, belief in the unprovable and irrational - in fringe - is on the rise: from Atlantis to aliens, from Flat Earth to the Loch Ness monster, the list goes on. It seems the more our maps of the known world get filled in, the more we crave mysterious locations full of strange creatures. Enter Colin Dickey, cultural historian and tour guide of the weird.
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Skeptic's Analysis of Weird America
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In 1979, a fiery preacher named Jane Whaley attracted a small group of followers with a promise that she could turn their lives around. In the years since, Whaley’s following has expanded to include thousands of congregants across three continents. Based on hundreds of interviews, secretly recorded conversations, and thousands of pages of documents, Pulitzer Prize winner Mitch Weiss and Holbrook Mohr’s Broken Faith is a terrifying portrait life inside the Word of Faith Fellowship, and the harrowing account of one family who escaped after two decades.
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At first, the residents of Kauai Beach Resort took little notice of their new neighbors. The glamorous blonde and her tall husband fit the image of the ritzy gated community. The couple seemed to keep to themselves - until the police knocked on their door with a search warrant. Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell had fled to Hawaii in the midst of being investigated for the disappearance of Lori's children back in Idaho - Tylee and JJ - who hadn't been seen alive in five months.
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Miserable narration
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Regina Martínez was no stranger to retaliation. A journalist out of Mexico’s Gulf Coast state of Veracruz, Regina's stories for the magazine Proceso laid out the corruption and abuse underlying Mexican politics. She was barred from press conferences, and copies of Proceso often disappeared before they made the newsstands. In 2012, shortly after Proceso published an article on corruption and two Veracruz politicians, and the magazine went missing once again, she was bludgeoned to death in her bathroom. The message was clear: No journalist in Mexico was safe.
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fascinating story ruined by bad narration
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Tell Me Everything
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Erika Krouse has one of those faces. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” people say, spilling confessions. In fall 2002, Erika accepts a new contract job investigating lawsuits as a private investigator. The role seems perfect for her, but she quickly realizes she has no idea what she’s doing. Then a lawyer named Grayson assigns her to investigate a sexual assault, a college student who was attacked by football players and recruits at a party a year earlier. Erika knows she should turn the assignment down.
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Love this author
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18 Tiny Deaths
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Frances Glessner Lee, born a socialite to a wealthy and influential Chicago family in the 1870s, was never meant to have a career, let alone one steeped in death and depravity. Yet she developed a fascination with the investigation of violent crimes and made it her life's work. Best known for creating the Nutshell Studies of Unexplained Death, a series of dollhouses that appear charming - until you notice the macabre little details: an overturned chair, or a blood-spattered comforter.
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Another improbable lady giant
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Hell in the Heartland
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On December 30, 1999, in rural Oklahoma, 16-year-old Ashley Freeman and her best friend, Lauria Bible, were having a sleepover. The next morning, the Freeman family trailer was in flames and both girls were missing. While rumors of drug debts, revenge, and police collusion abounded in the years that followed, the case remained unsolved, and the girls were never found.
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Remember it's unsolved
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By: Jax Miller
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Freedom of Mind
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In the post-9/11 world, people are more susceptible than ever to charismatic figures who offer simple, black v. white, us v. them, good v. evil, formulaic solutions. The rise of the internet; increasingly sophisticated knowledge about how to influence and manipulate others; and the growing vulnerabilities of people across the planet-make for a dangerous, potentially devastating combination.
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Excellent content, poor delivery.
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Cultish
- The Language of Fanaticism
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What makes “cults” so intriguing and frightening? What makes them powerful? The reason why so many of us binge Manson documentaries by the dozen and fall down rabbit holes researching suburban moms gone QAnon is because we’re looking for a satisfying explanation for what causes people to join - and more importantly, stay in - extreme groups. We secretly want to know: could it happen to me? Amanda Montell’s argument is that, on some level, it already has.
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Get this book ASAP
- By chris boutte on 06-17-21
By: Amanda Montell
What listeners say about Scarred
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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- Victoria Eriksson
- 05-30-20
5 stars
Wonderful
I read this in the span of a single 24 hr period, couldn't put it down. For anyone who has been part of any sort of destructive cult, or thinks they are part of such a group, you should absolutely read this. It helps clarify exactly what qualifies, how to see red flags clearly.
I have already been healing for about 10 years from a destructive psychotherapy cult, but that made it a more meaningful experience because Sarah helped to usher in an era that involves more justice and understanding than existed in American society and law for people like us than existed when I was leaving my own destructive cult. And for the Keith Renieres of the world, the narcissistic sociopathic leaders of said groups, too.
Thank you
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 07-09-21
Love! Love! Love!
Amazing book! Could not put it down and a must read!!!! Highly recommend this read!
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- Glenn Franco Simmons
- 09-03-21
Sarah, a hero
Your strength saved many, Sarah. May your stepmother's memory be a blessing. Pray for her, as she prays for you. Peace.
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- N. Profit
- 12-23-21
Beautiful & heartfelt
I’ve been saving this for some time. Today, I had the house to myself to clean before the holidays and listened to the WHOLE thing in one go. Sure this is a story about uncovering a destructive cult… but more importantly, this is an amazing journey of a brave, strong woman, reclaiming her life. I teared up at the introduction and all through the acknowledgements! I laughed and I cried. Thank you for sharing your story with the world, Sarah 💗
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- BLShu
- 02-14-23
Thank you for your story
Thank you so much for sharing this story, it was great to learn more specifics of your journey outside of The Vow.
Great performance!
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- Carolina
- 06-19-24
Must read/listen
Sarah’s personal story allows people to learn about the quiet threat of groups like nxivm that hide in plain sight all over the world. This is the beginning of what I hope is a cultural shift toward cult/coercive and high control group awareness
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- Jeffrey Dalziel
- 06-22-21
read by Sara herself!!!
what really amazed me was that Sara narrated her own book, which seems to be pretty rare. I usually struggle to finish books but this one was an exception. Captivating and extremely well told story. I recommend!
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- Candice C
- 07-16-21
Excellent read
Sarah’s voice reading it, takes you right there! I didn’t know much about NXIVM until the docu-series “the vow” came out. This book takes you right into Sarah’s journey in NXIVM. She breaks everything down in detail & gives an in depth look at how indoctrination into NXIVM began unknowingly. She takes you all the way up to the pivotal “lightbulb” moment she has & how she finally was able to break free. Though I knew some of her story, this book lays it all completely out.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-01-21
Really Appreciate Sarah Edmondson for writing this book
I really enjoyed hearing Sarah’s portrayal of her side of the story of DOS and Nxvim. This story is heartbreaking, riveting and at times excruciating for most of the women on the inside. So i am so happy to hear Sarah push past the pain and embarrassment to be open and honest in order to help herself heal but also help other women get out and empower them to speak up
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- maryann wotton
- 02-27-20
Thank you Sarah for your courage!
Amazing story for any woman who has suffered the trauma of an abusive relationship. She details the slow-building manipulation of this LYING sociopath. As a former domestic violence counselor, I recommend this book HIGHLY for anyone leaving an abusive relationship. It may be triggering, but the author's candid recounting of her experiences will be validating with anyone who has been manipulated to this level. There is hope. You can leave, and you can have a better life. Predators of this type are the worst because they look for good, well-meaning people to exploit and control. You can't imagine anyone being so maniacal until it happens to you or someone you love.
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