
Scarred
The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult That Bound My Life
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Narrated by:
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Sarah Edmondson
About this listen
The shocking and subversive memoir of a 12-year-NXIVM-member-turned-whistleblower, and her inspiring true story of abuse, escape, and redemption.
"Master, would you brand me? It would be an honor."
Scarred follows actress Sarah Edmondson's account of her recruitment into the NXIVM cult, founded by Keith Raniere. It narrates in detail the 12 years she spent within the organization, during which she enrolled over 2,000 members, chronicling her breaking point and her harrowing fight to get out, help others, and heal.
- Complete with personal photographs, this tell-all follows Sarah from the moment she takes her first NXIVM seminar, to the invitation she accepts from her best friend, Lauren Salzman, into DOS - a "secret sisterhood" within the cult - to her journey toward becoming a key witness in the federal case against its founders.
- Listeners will learn how cults like NXIVM get started, why people get involved (and stay), and the importance of whistleblowers who bring light to illegal and unethical practices.
- Sarah Edmondson is a Canadian actress and playwright who has starred in the CBS series Salvation and more than 12 films for the Hallmark Channel and Lifetime. She is featured in the CBC podcast Uncover: Escaping NXIVM and The Vow, the upcoming HBO documentary series on NXIVM.
Scarred isn't just about NXIVM. It is also a story about abuses of power, the role female friendships play in cults, and how sometimes the search to be "better" can override everything else.
- A thrilling listen for fans of true crime and cults, as well as listeners of podcasts like My Favorite Murder and Up and Vanished.
- Great for fans of Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology by Leah Remini, Escape by Carolyn Jessop, Beyond Belief by Jenna Miscavige Hill, and Bad Blood by John Carreyrou.
- Evokes questions about friendship, ethics, good, and evil, making it a perfect selection for book clubs.
Audio edition read by the author.
©2019 Sarah Edmondson and Kristine Gasbarre (P)2019 Hachette AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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- Length: 14 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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On a cold January morning, the killer executed Assistant District Attorney Mark Hasse in broad daylight. Eight shots fired a block from the Kaufman County Courthouse. Two months later, a massacre. The day before Easter, the couple slept. Bunnies, eggs, a flower centerpiece gracing the table. Death rang their doorbell and filled the air with the rat-a-tat-tat of an assault weapon discharging round after round into their bodies. Eric Williams and his wife, Kim, celebrated the murders with grilled steaks. Williams planned to exact revenge on all those who had wronged him.
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BOR-ING!!
- By farmhouselady on 11-11-19
By: Kathryn Casey
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Still Learning
- A Memoir
- By: India Oxenberg
- Narrated by: India Oxenberg
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Still Learning is India Oxenberg’s intimate, first-person account of how she was lured into and, seven years later, escaped from the NXIVM cult, DOS. As the secret sorority within NXIVM's vast Ponzi network, DOS was created by Keith Raniere and his acolytes to serve as a source of "slaves" to Keith and the other “masters”. Despite the fantastical headlines, the focus of Still Learning reflects what many parents and age peers of India’s will recognize as a far more familiar 20-something conundrum - a new adult trying to discover who she is.
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The best book on Nxivm so far
- By rebekah s. on 11-04-20
By: India Oxenberg
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Terror, Love and Brainwashing
- Attachment in Cults and Totalitarian Systems
- By: Alexandra Stein
- Narrated by: Susan Ericksen
- Length: 12 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Written by a cult survivor and renowned expert on cults and totalitarianism, Terror, Love and Brainwashing draws on the author's 25 years of study and research to explain how almost anyone, given the right set of circumstances, can be radically manipulated to engage in otherwise incomprehensible and often dangerous acts.
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Thank You!
- By Audible Listener on 02-08-21
By: Alexandra Stein
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This Isn't Going to End Well
- The True Story of a Man I Thought I Knew
- By: Daniel Wallace
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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If we’re lucky, we all encounter at least one person whose life elevates and inspires our own. For acclaimed novelist Daniel Wallace, he had one hero and inspiration for so much of what followed: his longtime friend and brother-in-law William Nealy. Seemingly perfect, impossibly cool, William was James Dean, Clint Eastwood, and MacGyver all rolled into one, an acclaimed outdoorsman, a famous cartoonist, an accomplished author, a master of all he undertook, William was the ideal that Daniel sought to emulate.
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Lovely, Deep Hearted True Story
- By DebS on 06-24-23
By: Daniel Wallace
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Out Cold
- A Chilling Descent into the Macabre, Controversial, Lifesaving History of Hypothermia
- By: Phil Jaekl
- Narrated by: Matt Kugler
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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In Out Cold, science writer Phil Jaekl chronicles the underappreciated story of human innovation with cold, from Ancient Egypt, where it was used to treat skin irritations, to 18th-century London, where scientists used it in their first explorations of suspended animation. Throughout history, physicians have used cold to innovate life extension, enable distant space missions, and explore consciousness.
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layers of "wows"
- By michele and david on 01-03-25
By: Phil Jaekl
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The Dictatorship of Woke Capital
- How Political Correctness Captured Big Business
- By: Stephen R. Soukup
- Narrated by: Bob Souer
- Length: 6 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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For the better part of a century, the left has been waging a slow, methodical battle for control of the institutions of Western civilization. This book provides a comprehensive overview of the problem and the players involved, both on the aggressive, hard-charging left and in the nascent conservative resistance. Soukup explains what the left is doing and how and why the right must be prepared and willing to fight back to save this critical aspect of American culture from becoming another, more economically powerful version of the “woke” college campus.
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A Must Listen (Read)
- By Trial Time Expired on 05-22-21
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Long Illness
- A Practical Guide to Surviving, Healing, and Thriving
- By: Meghan Jobson MD PhD, Juliet Morgan MD
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Drs. Meghan Jobson and Juliet Morgan specialize in treating long illness; from their work on the frontlines with long COVID, they know that all long illnesses shares many of the same hallmarks. Using evidence-based integrative medicine, they have put together a program that legitimizes long illness and validates concerns where other physicians often dismiss them. In Long Illness, you’ll find an unparalleled, holistic approach to healing.
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The most singularly amazing & helpful book!
- By view on 04-09-24
By: Meghan Jobson MD PhD, and others
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Captive
- A Mother's Crusade to Save Her Daughter from a Terrifying Cult
- By: Catherine Oxenberg, Natasha Stoynoff
- Narrated by: Catherine Oxenberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2011, Catherine joined her daughter, India, at a leadership seminar for a new organization called NXIVM. Her 20-year-old daughter was on the threshold of building a new company, and they both thought this program might help her achieve her dream. But quickly, Catherine saw a sinister side to what appeared to be a self-help organization designed to help its clients become the best versions of themselves. Catherine watched in horror as her daughter fell further and further down the rabbit hole, becoming brainwashed by the organization’s charismatic leader.
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Not as good as a I hoped....
- By Fallon Martin on 11-12-19
By: Catherine Oxenberg, and others
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Nowhere Girl
- A Memoir of a Fugitive Childhood
- By: Cheryl Diamond
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 10 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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By the time she was in her teens, Diamond had lived dozens of lives and lies, but as she grew older, love and trust turned to fear and violence, and her family—the only people she had in the world—began to unravel. She started to realize that her life itself might be a big con, and the people she loved, the most dangerous of all. With no way out and her identity burned so often that she had no proof she even existed, all that was left was a girl from nowhere.
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As Diamond said in an interview, “It is a horrific story at times, but also absolutely magical.”
- By Teela Klekotka on 02-11-23
By: Cheryl Diamond
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Shit, Actually
- The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema
- By: Lindy West
- Narrated by: Lindy West
- Length: 7 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Shit, Actually is a love letter and a breakup note all in one: to the films that shaped us and the ones that ruined us. More often than not, Lindy finds, they're one and the same.
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How Woke
- By R. Squyres on 02-27-21
By: Lindy West
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The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Apocalypse
- Expert Advice for Doomsday Situations
- By: David Borgenicht, Joshua Piven
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s the apocalypse—now what? The doomsday clock is seconds from midnight. Extinction-level dangers draw closer with every tick. But fear not! Here is an indispensable guide to preparing for and surviving the ultimate in worst-case scenarios, with humor to lighten the load. You can’t panic if you’re laughing.
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Just buy the book
- By derick w northam on 03-13-24
By: David Borgenicht, and others
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Hell's Princess
- The Mystery of Belle Gunness, Butcher of Men
- By: Harold Schechter
- Narrated by: Malcolm Hillgartner
- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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In the pantheon of serial killers, Belle Gunness stands alone. She was the rarest of female psychopaths, a woman who engaged in wholesale slaughter, partly out of greed but mostly for the sheer joy of it. Between 1902 and 1908, she lured a succession of unsuspecting victims to her Indiana “murder farm". Some were hired hands. Others were well-to-do bachelors. All of them vanished without a trace.
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Can a book about a serial killer be entertaining?
- By Lori Hanson on 05-08-18
By: Harold Schechter
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Schopenhauer's Porcupines
- Intimacy and Its Dilemmas: Five Stories of Psychotherapy
- By: Deborah Anna Luepnitz
- Narrated by: Deborah Anna Luepnitz
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Each generation of therapists can boast of only a few writers like Deborah Luepnitz, whose sympathy and wit shine in her fine, luminous prose. In Schopenhauer's Porcupines, she recounts five true stories from her practice, stories of patients who range from the super-rich to the destitute, who grapple with panic attacks, psychosomatic illness, marital despair, and sexual recklessness. Intimate, original, and triumphantly funny, Schopenhauer's Porcupines goes further than any other book in illuminating "how talking helps".
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Poignant listen
- By Robert B. Davis on 08-23-21
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Hitler's Furies
- German Women in the Nazi Killing Fields
- By: Wendy Lower
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Wendy Lower’s stunning account of the role of German women on the World War II Nazi eastern front powerfully revises history, proving that we have ignored the reality of women’s participation in the Holocaust, including as brutal killers. The long-held picture of German women holding down the home front during the war, as loyal wives and cheerleaders for the Führer, pales in comparison to Lower’s incisive case for the massive complicity, and worse, of the 500,000 young German women she places, for the first time, directly in the killing fields of the expanding Reich.
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Terrifying and shocking!
- By Amazon Customer on 09-12-24
By: Wendy Lower
I read this in the span of a single 24 hr period, couldn't put it down. For anyone who has been part of any sort of destructive cult, or thinks they are part of such a group, you should absolutely read this. It helps clarify exactly what qualifies, how to see red flags clearly.
I have already been healing for about 10 years from a destructive psychotherapy cult, but that made it a more meaningful experience because Sarah helped to usher in an era that involves more justice and understanding than existed in American society and law for people like us than existed when I was leaving my own destructive cult. And for the Keith Renieres of the world, the narcissistic sociopathic leaders of said groups, too.
Thank you
5 stars
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Love! Love! Love!
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Sarah, a hero
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Beautiful & heartfelt
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Great performance!
Thank you for your story
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Must read/listen
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read by Sara herself!!!
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Excellent read
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Really Appreciate Sarah Edmondson for writing this book
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Thank you Sarah for your courage!
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