Still Learning
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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India Oxenberg
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By:
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India Oxenberg
About this listen
Still Learning is India Oxenberg’s intimate, first-person account of how she was lured into and, seven years later, escaped from the NXIVM cult, DOS.
As the secret sorority within NXIVM's vast Ponzi network, DOS was created by Keith Raniere and his acolytes to serve as a source of "slaves" to Keith and the other “masters”. Despite the fantastical headlines, the focus of Still Learning reflects what many parents and age peers of India’s will recognize as a far more familiar 20-something conundrum - a new adult trying to discover who she is, and in the process second-guessing the advice of parents, concerned siblings, and close friends who prove to be all too right - about a romantic partner, a sharp turn off of a hard-won educational track, or a dangerous group like NXIVM. India’s is a surprisingly relatable “adulting” tale set amidst one of the most alarming news stories of the day, rich with data on warning signs that distinguish exploration from exploitation.
This is much more than a survival story; it's a deeply personal reflection on how to come out (or help a loved one come out) the other side intact, still hopeful, and remarkably adult.
©2020 India Oxenberg (P)2020 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Story
The shocking and subversive memoir of a 12-year-NXIVM-member-turned-whistleblower, and her inspiring true story of abuse, escape, and redemption. "Master, would you brand me? It would be an honor." Scarred follows actress Sarah Edmondson's account of her recruitment into the NXIVM cult, founded by Keith Raniere. It narrates in detail the 12 years she spent within the organization, during which she enrolled over 2,000 members, chronicling her breaking point and her harrowing fight to get out, help others, and heal.
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Riveting!
- By Ellen on 10-23-19
By: Sarah Edmondson, and others
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Don't Call It a Cult
- The Shocking Story of Keith Raniere and the Women of NXIVM
- By: Sarah Berman
- Narrated by: Ewa Wolniczek
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Investigative journalist Sarah Berman explores the shocking practices of NXIVM, a cult run by Keith Raniere and many enablers. Through the accounts of central NXIVM figures, Berman uncovers how dozens of women seeking creative coaching and networking opportunities instead were blackmailed, literally branded, near-starved, and enslaved. Don't Call It a Cult is a riveting account of NXIVM's rise to power, its ability to evade prosecution for decades, and the investigation that finally revealed its dark secrets to the world.
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Detailed (best for those already interested)
- By JR on 05-02-21
By: Sarah Berman
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Captive
- A Mother's Crusade to Save Her Daughter from a Terrifying Cult
- By: Catherine Oxenberg, Natasha Stoynoff
- Narrated by: Catherine Oxenberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2011, Catherine joined her daughter, India, at a leadership seminar for a new organization called NXIVM. Her 20-year-old daughter was on the threshold of building a new company, and they both thought this program might help her achieve her dream. But quickly, Catherine saw a sinister side to what appeared to be a self-help organization designed to help its clients become the best versions of themselves. Catherine watched in horror as her daughter fell further and further down the rabbit hole, becoming brainwashed by the organization’s charismatic leader.
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Not as good as a I hoped....
- By Fallon Martin on 11-12-19
By: Catherine Oxenberg, and others
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The Program
- Inside the Mind of Keith Raniere and the Rise and Fall of NXIVM
- By: Toni Natalie, Chet Hardin
- Narrated by: Toni Natalie
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Many have heard of NXIVM and its creator, Keith Raniere, the unassuming Albany man now prosecuted for ensnaring tens of thousands of people in the US, Mexico, Canada, and elsewhere to do his bidding and pay millions of dollars to participate in his self-improvement methodology. But where did Keith Raniere begin? Enter Toni Natalie, Keith's Patient Zero, the first one indoctrinated into Raniere's methodology and the first one to escape.
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Important addation to the NXIVM story
- By Dennis Hinkamp on 10-20-19
By: Toni Natalie, and others
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Cults Inside Out: How People Get In and Can Get Out
- By: Rick Alan Ross
- Narrated by: Daniel Adam Day
- Length: 16 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
You’ve seen them in movies and on TV, but cults are more prevalent than you think - and they’re armed with strategies that can brainwash and persuade even the most unlikely of candidates. But how do individuals get involved with cults in the first place, and what steps can be taken to “deprogram” and heal those who have been drawn into these damaging groups? These questions and more are addressed in Cults Inside Out, written by leading cult expert Rick Alan Ross.
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Informative and interesting read!
- By Amazon Customer on 07-15-21
By: Rick Alan Ross
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Escaping Utopia
- Growing Up in a Cult, Getting Out, and Starting Over
- By: Karla McLaren, Janja Lalich
- Narrated by: Kelly Burke
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
In Escaping Utopia: Growing Up in a Cult, Getting Out, and Starting Over, the authors craft Lalich’s original and groundbreaking research into an accessible and engaging book. The authors explore fundamental questions about human nature, human development, group dynamics, abuse and control, and triumphs of the human spirit.
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Necessary and insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 12-11-22
By: Karla McLaren, and others
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Scarred
- The True Story of How I Escaped NXIVM, the Cult That Bound My Life
- By: Sarah Edmondson, Kristine Gasbarre
- Narrated by: Sarah Edmondson
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The shocking and subversive memoir of a 12-year-NXIVM-member-turned-whistleblower, and her inspiring true story of abuse, escape, and redemption. "Master, would you brand me? It would be an honor." Scarred follows actress Sarah Edmondson's account of her recruitment into the NXIVM cult, founded by Keith Raniere. It narrates in detail the 12 years she spent within the organization, during which she enrolled over 2,000 members, chronicling her breaking point and her harrowing fight to get out, help others, and heal.
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Riveting!
- By Ellen on 10-23-19
By: Sarah Edmondson, and others
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Don't Call It a Cult
- The Shocking Story of Keith Raniere and the Women of NXIVM
- By: Sarah Berman
- Narrated by: Ewa Wolniczek
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Investigative journalist Sarah Berman explores the shocking practices of NXIVM, a cult run by Keith Raniere and many enablers. Through the accounts of central NXIVM figures, Berman uncovers how dozens of women seeking creative coaching and networking opportunities instead were blackmailed, literally branded, near-starved, and enslaved. Don't Call It a Cult is a riveting account of NXIVM's rise to power, its ability to evade prosecution for decades, and the investigation that finally revealed its dark secrets to the world.
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Detailed (best for those already interested)
- By JR on 05-02-21
By: Sarah Berman
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Captive
- A Mother's Crusade to Save Her Daughter from a Terrifying Cult
- By: Catherine Oxenberg, Natasha Stoynoff
- Narrated by: Catherine Oxenberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
In 2011, Catherine joined her daughter, India, at a leadership seminar for a new organization called NXIVM. Her 20-year-old daughter was on the threshold of building a new company, and they both thought this program might help her achieve her dream. But quickly, Catherine saw a sinister side to what appeared to be a self-help organization designed to help its clients become the best versions of themselves. Catherine watched in horror as her daughter fell further and further down the rabbit hole, becoming brainwashed by the organization’s charismatic leader.
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Not as good as a I hoped....
- By Fallon Martin on 11-12-19
By: Catherine Oxenberg, and others
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The Program
- Inside the Mind of Keith Raniere and the Rise and Fall of NXIVM
- By: Toni Natalie, Chet Hardin
- Narrated by: Toni Natalie
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
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Performance
-
Story
Many have heard of NXIVM and its creator, Keith Raniere, the unassuming Albany man now prosecuted for ensnaring tens of thousands of people in the US, Mexico, Canada, and elsewhere to do his bidding and pay millions of dollars to participate in his self-improvement methodology. But where did Keith Raniere begin? Enter Toni Natalie, Keith's Patient Zero, the first one indoctrinated into Raniere's methodology and the first one to escape.
-
-
Important addation to the NXIVM story
- By Dennis Hinkamp on 10-20-19
By: Toni Natalie, and others
-
Cults Inside Out: How People Get In and Can Get Out
- By: Rick Alan Ross
- Narrated by: Daniel Adam Day
- Length: 16 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
You’ve seen them in movies and on TV, but cults are more prevalent than you think - and they’re armed with strategies that can brainwash and persuade even the most unlikely of candidates. But how do individuals get involved with cults in the first place, and what steps can be taken to “deprogram” and heal those who have been drawn into these damaging groups? These questions and more are addressed in Cults Inside Out, written by leading cult expert Rick Alan Ross.
-
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Informative and interesting read!
- By Amazon Customer on 07-15-21
By: Rick Alan Ross
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Escaping Utopia
- Growing Up in a Cult, Getting Out, and Starting Over
- By: Karla McLaren, Janja Lalich
- Narrated by: Kelly Burke
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
In Escaping Utopia: Growing Up in a Cult, Getting Out, and Starting Over, the authors craft Lalich’s original and groundbreaking research into an accessible and engaging book. The authors explore fundamental questions about human nature, human development, group dynamics, abuse and control, and triumphs of the human spirit.
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Necessary and insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 12-11-22
By: Karla McLaren, and others
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Beyond Belief
- My Secret Life Inside Scientology and My Harrowing Escape
- By: Jenna Miscavige Hill
- Narrated by: Sandy Rustin
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Jenna Miscavige Hill, niece of Church of Scientology leader David Miscavige, was raised as a Scientologist but left the controversial religion in 2005. In Beyond Belief, she shares her true story of life inside the upper ranks of the sect, details her experiences as a member Sea Org - the church's highest ministry - speaks of her "disconnection" from family outside of the organization, and tells the story of her ultimate escape.
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The Despicable Truth Behind Scientology
- By Tim on 02-07-13
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Ruthless
- Scientology, My Son David Miscavige, and Me
- By: Ronald Miscavige, Dan Koon
- Narrated by: Harvey Betancourt
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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The only book to examine the origins of Scientology's current leader, Ruthless tells the revealing story of David Miscavige's childhood and his path to the head seat of the Church of Scientology, told through the eyes of his father. Ron Miscavige's personal, heartfelt story is a riveting insider's look at life within the world of Scientology.
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Ruthlessly Honest ~ An Engrossing Read!
- By susan rios on 05-05-16
By: Ronald Miscavige, and others
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A Billion Years
- My Escape from a Life in the Highest Ranks of Scientology
- By: Mike Rinder
- Narrated by: Mike Rinder
- Length: 14 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Mike Rinder’s parents began taking him to their local Scientology center when he was five years old. After high school, he signed a billion-year contract and was admitted into Scientology’s elite inner circle, the Sea Organization. Brought to founder L. Ron Hubbard’s yacht and promised training in Hubbard’s most advanced techniques, Rinder was instead put to work swabbing the decks. Still, Rinder bought into the doctrine that his personal comfort was secondary to the higher purpose of Hubbard’s world-saving mission.
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From a former SO Child
- By Chantal on 09-29-22
By: Mike Rinder
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The Boar's Nest
- Sue Brewer and the Birth of Outlaw Country Music
- By: Rachel Bonds, Holly Gleason, Dub Cornett
- Narrated by: Mandy Moore, Ebon Moss-Bachrach, W. Earl Brown, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
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Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, Kris Kristofferson. Before they were household names, these budding legends called Sue’s Nashville apartment—lovingly dubbed the “Boar’s Nest”—home. Sue’s place was an intimate staging ground where a new breed of singer-songwriters—wounded souls, wayward upstarts—would spur each other on to tap into something bigger, realer.
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What a Great Story
- By Nurse Kim on 03-16-24
By: Rachel Bonds, and others
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Managing Expectations
- A Memoir in Essays
- By: Minnie Driver
- Narrated by: Minnie Driver
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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In this intimate, beautifully crafted collection, Driver writes and narrates with disarming charm and candor about her bohemian upbringing between England and Barbados; her post-university travails and triumphs—from being the only student in her acting school not taken on by an agent to being discovered at a rave in a muddy field in the English countryside; shooting to fame in one of the most influential films of the 1990s and being nominated for an Academy Award; and finding the true light of her life, her son.
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Love the stories
- By None of Your Business on 09-27-22
By: Minnie Driver
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Breaking Free
- How I Escaped Polygamy, the FLDS Cult, and My Father, Warren Jeffs
- By: Rachel Jeffs
- Narrated by: Rachel Jeffs
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
In this searing memoir of survival in the spirit of Stolen Innocence, the daughter of Warren Jeffs, the self-proclaimed Prophet of the FLDS Church, takes you deep inside the secretive polygamist Mormon fundamentalist cult run by her family and how she escaped it. Born into the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Rachel Jeffs was raised in a strict patriarchal culture defined by subordinate sister wives and men they must obey.
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Heart breaking addition to the FLDS cult story
- By Abby Martin on 12-10-17
By: Rachel Jeffs
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The Sound of Gravel
- A Memoir
- By: Ruth Wariner
- Narrated by: Ruth Wariner
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Ruth Wariner was the 39th of her father's 42 children. Growing up on a farm in rural Mexico, where authorities turned a blind eye to the practices of her community, Ruth lives in a ramshackle house without indoor plumbing or electricity. At church, preachers teach that God will punish the wicked by destroying the world and that women can ascend to heaven only by entering into polygamous marriages and giving birth to as many children as possible.
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Unputdownable
- By Lesley A. on 01-16-16
By: Ruth Wariner
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A Well-Trained Wife
- My Escape from Christian Patriarchy
- By: Tia Levings
- Narrated by: Tia Levings
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Recruited into the fundamentalist Quiverfull movement as a young wife, Tia Levings learned that being a good Christian meant following a list of additional life principles—a series of secret, special rules to obey. Being a godly and submissive wife in Christian Patriarchy included strict discipline, isolation, and an alternative lifestyle that appeared wholesome to outsiders. Women were to be silent, “keepers of the home.” A Well-Trained Wife is an unforgettable memoir about a woman's race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.
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A review from a chronic non-reviewer
- By T. L. P. on 08-11-24
By: Tia Levings
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Unmask Alice
- LSD, Satanic Panic, and the Imposter Behind the World's Most Notorious Diaries
- By: Rick Emerson
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1971, Go Ask Alice reinvented the young adult genre with a blistering portrayal of sex, psychosis, and teenage self-destruction. The supposed diary of a middle-class addict, Go Ask Alice terrified adults and cemented LSD's fearsome reputation, fueling support for the War on Drugs. Five million copies later, Go Ask Alice remains a divisive bestseller, outraging censors and earning new fans, all of them drawn by the book's mythic premise: A Real Diary, by Anonymous.
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I’m from Pleasant Grove where rumors of Jay’s Journal are alive and well
- By Ruby Tuesday on 10-06-22
By: Rick Emerson
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Uncultured
- A Memoir
- By: Daniella Mestyanek Young
- Narrated by: Daniella Mestyanek Young
- Length: 13 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Behind the tall, foreboding gates of a commune in Brazil, Daniella Mestyanek Young was raised in the religious cult The Children of God, also known as The Family, as the daughter of high-ranking members. Her great-grandmother donated land for one of The Family’s first communes in Texas. Her mother, at thirteen, was forced to marry the leader and served as his secretary for many years. Beholden to The Family’s strict rules, Daniella suffers physical, emotional, and sexual abuse—masked as godly discipline and divine love—and is forbidden from getting a traditional education.
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Do not recommend the second half
- By Anonymous Reader on 10-02-22
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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Counting the Cost
- By: Jill Duggar, Derick Dillard - contributor, Craig Borlase - contributor
- Narrated by: Jill Duggar
- Length: 7 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Jill and Derick knew a normal life wasn’t possible for them. As a star on the popular TLC reality show 19 Kids and Counting, Jill grew up in front of viewers who were fascinated by her family’s way of life. She was the responsible, second daughter of Jim Bob and Michelle’s nineteen kids; always with a baby on her hip and happy to wear the modest ankle-length dresses with throat-high necklines.
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A Naive Account from a Reality TV Personality
- By Lora Kyle on 09-12-23
By: Jill Duggar, and others
What listeners say about Still Learning
Highly rated for:
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- DIANA URREGO
- 10-30-20
What an Incredible Story!!
I admire India's courage and vulnerability. After watching documentaries and reading about the trial, there were so many questions that now, I feel, have been answered. Amazing story and beautifully written. Thank you for opening up and teeling your story. It's truly remarkable!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Juliejaynak
- 11-12-20
Well written and well read
I thought it was so important and so powerful how India describes what it’s like to have to go through deprogramming. Learning that there’s an entire physical side to mental and emotional trauma was really insightful. I can’t imagine what India has gone through, and the courageous acts on behalf of her mother to get her out. I’m so glad this story has a happy ending.
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- Stacy L. Daniels
- 12-12-22
Still Learning
I thought India was brave to tell her story, although I felt that she held back some and censored what she wanted to share about her time in NXIVM. While she was open about her past, she seemed to have selective memory of her time in NXVIM. I found her voice and cadence pleasant to listen to. I am glad I listened to this book but I did get more out of Sarah's story (Scarred).
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- Reader Heidi
- 07-24-22
Inspiring
I cannot in my wildest dreams imagine what IIndia has endured in this lifetime, but she has not only Survived but flourished.
You are one of the strongest women with a line of strong women in your circle.
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- Ashley Harvey
- 11-10-20
Better than watching The Vow
The Vow on HBO is just the tip of the NXIVM iceberg. India is one of the many voices that was missing from Mark and Bonnie’s retelling of escaping NXIVM. Her mother Katherine has spoken A LOT but to finally hear India tell her story, in her own words, was very compelling.
Her story is very well told and was an enjoyable listen, despite the nature of her story. Thanks for sharing India!
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10 people found this helpful
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- Mikey P
- 02-22-21
A very serious memoir
This memoir was very depressing and real. A very important read about the notorious cult
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1 person found this helpful
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- Natalya Cappellini
- 11-08-20
Powerful & Well Written
I downloaded India’s book after watching the series “The Vow,” which documented the downfall of the organization and its leader. What I love about India’s story is that it addresses how one can become so entrenched in such an organization and how, through the support of family and her own intuition, was able to break free. India’s writing is beautiful and thoughtful. I admire her strength and courage to put her experiences down on paper and to tell the world what it was like from her own perspective. Thank you India for putting this out into the world. I wish you the best!
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- Tek-Augi
- 05-12-21
Captivating!!!
Wow, what a strong woman India and what a beautiful and sincerely retelling of here horrific story. One of the most compelling books I have ever heard. Even so I have never been a part of a cult, I could relate to so many ideas India put forth. Thank India for sharing your story with us.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-20-22
Great Listen
India not only did a great job writing this book but also narrating it. I really felt drawn into the story. She did a great job describing situations that were hard to understand and I learned a lot not only about the cult but about human resilience.
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- LJReed
- 02-01-21
Wonderful memoir; more than the best Nxivm book
Written beautifully and narrated more than competently, India Oxenberg takes us through her search for insight and self-improvement that goes down a terribly dark road. The expensive classes requiring bringing in recruits is like other pyramid schemes. The courses must be taken and retaken. It utilizes the unethical hypnosis practice of NLP - neuro-linguistic programing. During the several levels of learning and 'EM's' to get you more 'integrated, you lose your own personality and will which is a gateway for its leaders (and not necessarily most of its staff) into an insidious indoctrination into the Nxivm subculture and mind control.
Ms Oxenberg is very forth-coming about her journey into Nxivm and its more secretive 'sorority' DOS. She notes the warning signs she saw and those she did not as well as her levels of compliance and indoctrinated she became. Included also is her recovery and how she got there.
Again, an excellent audiobook. She is a very talented writer, able to give great imagery to Nxivm and her experiences. Highly recommend
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