Seashell Virgin
Nacho Mama's Patio Cafe Novels, Book 3
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Narrated by:
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Steve Schatz
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By:
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Steve Schatz
About this listen
Homo Heroes vs Politico Ponce Brothers
Fast paced fun. Touching and tawdry. Churchies, crooks, and rapscallions scheme to close our only gay bar, rape a forest, and get rich with a gay hating charter school. Break-ins, kidnapping, threats, blackmail, bondage, and the most spectacular drag show the world has ever seen, thrill and delight you as the anti-heroes from Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe once more answer the call to set things straight, as it were.
A great listen. Fast, funny, and funky. The third Nacho Mama’s Patio Cafe book has all your favorites – TiaRa del Fuego, impresaria extraordinaire; Nacho Mama, gruff restaurateur; Aunt May, sweet lil ol Southern belle with a thousand lurid stories of her sexual past; BB Singer, anti-hero dropped in the midst of the mess, whose only desire is to escape unscathed with his latest treasure, an 18” statue of the Virgin Mary festooned with seashells; and many more old n new fun and funky friends. The villain is a plastic politico named Ponce (absolutely in no way resembling any current politician) who looks like a model for the groom on a wedding cake, claims to be driven by gawd, and will do any nasty thing to get what he wants. His brother is much worse.
With the humor of Fletch, the wild adventures of Stephanie Plum, the tenderness of Le Cage, and the camaraderie of Tales of the City, Seashell Virgin highlights life of a band of middle-aged friends seeking to find a bit of joy in Magawatta, a tiny spot of blue in the very red state of Injana.
©2021 Steve Schatz (P)2021 Steve SchatzListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
A wealthy widow has asked Sarah Winston to sell her massive collection of mysteries through her garage-sale business. While sorting through piles of books stashed in the woman's attic, Sarah is amazed to discover a case of lost Hemingway stories, stolen from a train in Paris back in 1922. How did they end up in Belle Winthrop Granville's attic in Ellington, Massachusetts, almost 100 years later? Before Sarah can get any answers, Belle is assaulted, the case is stolen, a maid is killed, and Sarah herself is dodging bullets.
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Doesn't disappoint!
- By ConawayMom on 04-09-21
By: Sherry Harris
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Grace Under Pressure
- Manor House Mystery Series, Book 1
- By: Julie Hyzy
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Everyone wants a piece of millionaire Bennett Marshfield, owner of Marshfield Manor, but now it's up to new curator Grace Wheaton and handsome groundskeeper Jack Embers to protect dear old Marshfield. But to do this, they'll have to investigate a botched Ponzi scheme, some torrid Wheaton family secrets-and sour grapes out for revenge.
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Loved it!!!
- By Beatrice on 11-18-13
By: Julie Hyzy
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If Walls Could Talk
- Haunted Home Renovation, Book 1
- By: Juliet Blackwell
- Narrated by: Xe Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Melanie Turner has made quite a name for herself remodeling historic houses in the San Francisco Bay Area. But now her reputation may be on the line. At her newest project, a run-down Pacific Heights mansion, Mel is visited by the ghost of a colleague who recently met a bad end with power tools. Mel hopes that by nailing the killer, she can rid herself of the ghostly presence of the murdered man - and not end up a construction casualty herself....
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A Nice Change
- By Carole T. on 06-15-15
By: Juliet Blackwell
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Miss Julia Speaks Her Mind
- By: Ann B. Ross
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Miss Julia, a recently bereaved and newly wealthy widow, is only slightly bemused when one Hazel Marie Puckett appears at her door with a youngster in tow and unceremoniously announces that the child is the bastard son of Miss Julia's late husband. Suddenly, this longtime church member and pillar of her small Southern community finds herself in the center of an unseemly scandal - and the guardian of a wan nine-year-old whose mere presence turns her life upside down.
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Miss Julia is 60+ yrs old.. reader is too young
- By jennifer on 07-13-12
By: Ann B. Ross
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Fundraising the Dead
- A Museum Mystery
- By: Sheila Connolly
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 10 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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At The Society for the Preservation of Pennsylvania Antiques, fundraiser Eleanor "Nell" Pratt solicits donations - and sometimes solves crimes. When a collection of George Washington's letters is lost on the same day that an archivist is found dead, it seems strange that the Society president isn't pushing for an investigation. Nell goes digging herself, and soon uncovers a long, rich history of crime.
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Not Sure About This Series
- By Chalis on 11-21-14
By: Sheila Connolly
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The Last Refuge
- By: Chris Knopf
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Sam Acquillo is at the end of the line: he's a middle-aged corporate dropout living in a ramshackle cottage in Southampton's North Sea. But then the old lady next door ends up floating dead in her bathtub, and it seems that Sam is the only one who wonders why.
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A hero who doesn't work and play well with others.
- By Cholmondeley on 04-04-13
By: Chris Knopf
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Down Home Murder
- Laura Fleming, Book 1
- By: Toni L. P. Kelner
- Narrated by: Gayle Hendrix
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
When a tragic family accident brings Laura Fleming back home to Byerly, North Carolina, the sleuth discovers that her beloved grampaw's fatal fall from a ladder in the old mill was not an accident.
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ATROCIOUS!!
- By Reza on 03-18-14
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Faces of the Gone
- Carter Ross, Book 1
- By: Brad Parks
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Four bodies, each with a single bullet wound in the back of the head, stacked like cordwood in a weed-choked vacant lot: That's the front-page news facing Carter Ross, investigative reporter with the Newark Eagle-Examiner. Immediately dispatched to the scene, Carter learns that the four victims - an exotic dancer, a drug dealer, a hustler, and a mama's boy - came from different parts of the city and didn't seem to know one another.
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Wish Brad Parks were more prolific!!!!
- By shelley on 02-16-18
By: Brad Parks
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Under the Midnight Sun
- A Novel
- By: Keigo Higashino, Alexander O. Smith - translator, Joseph Reeder
- Narrated by: David Shih
- Length: 19 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
In Osaka in 1973, the body of a murdered man is found in an abandoned building. Investigating the crime, Detective Sasagaki is unable to find the killer. Over the next 20 years, through the lens of a succession of characters, Higashino tells the story of two teens, Ryo and Yukiho, whose lives are most affected by the crime, and the obsessed detective, Sasagaki, who continues to investigate the murder, looking for the elusive truth.
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So many subplots and twists
- By Janani Vasudevan on 07-03-20
By: Keigo Higashino, and others
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A Wicked Yarn
- A Craft Fair Knitters Mystery
- By: Emmie Caldwell
- Narrated by: Janet Metzger
- Length: 7 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Mother’s Day should be a cinch for the good folks of the Crandalsburg Craft Fair, and knitting enthusiast Lia Geiger has a good feeling about this year’s yield. But things quickly get knotty when Lia’s daughter announces she’s quit her job and Lia finds herself tangled up in the murder of her best friend’s ex-husband. While Belinda’s alibi quickly gets her off the hook, nasty rumors spread throughout Crandalsburg that shroud the entire fair in suspicion.
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meh...
- By Beatrice on 01-09-21
By: Emmie Caldwell
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A Crafty Killing
- Victoria Square Mystery, Book 1
- By: Lorraine Bartlett
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
The last thing Katie Bonner wanted was to become the manager of Artisans Alley. But when her business partner Ezra Hilton is found bludgeoned to death, she has no other choice. Business under Ezra had been faltering - but was it enough to provoke someone to murder? Only Katie can find the answer.
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So-so
- By Kathi on 04-30-15
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Cat About Town
- Cat Cafe Mystery Series, Book 1
- By: Cate Conte
- Narrated by: Amy Melissa Bentley
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Maddie James has arrived in Daybreak Island, just off the coast of Massachusetts, eager to settle down and start her own business - and maybe even fall in love. When a stray orange tabby pounces into her life, she's inspired to open a cat cafe. But little does Maddie know that she's in for something a lot more catastrophic when her new furry companion finds the dead body of the town bully. Now all eyes are on Maddie: Who is this crazy cat-whisperer lady who's come to town?
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For once, I prefer to listen to the voices in my head
- By Ann Mi on 01-16-20
By: Cate Conte