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  • Secret Shame

  • A Survivor's Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse and Male Sexual Development
  • By: Douglas W. Carpenter PsyD
  • Narrated by: ChasMandala
  • Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (10 ratings)

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Secret Shame

By: Douglas W. Carpenter PsyD
Narrated by: ChasMandala
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Publisher's summary

Sexual abuse is the secret shame that lies deep within. Men hold on to this secret shame for an average of 25 years before they disclose the hurt and pain they have endured and carried from sexual abuse perpetrated by another male. As men disclose their abuse, it is important to examine how the abuse changed their thinking and behavior. A good majority of men were abused before puberty. The research shows that men, on average, are abused around the age of eight or nine, while in the latency stage of development. The disruption of this phase creates a stirring of sexual curiosity and desire awakened before its time.

This early awakening has a direct effect on behavior. Boys may tend to seek out further sexual exploration, have an increased interest in pornography, seek out their abuser and initiate sexual activity, or may be driven to initiate sexual acts with others long before the natural instinct of puberty and progression into adolescent desires instinctively emerge. The latency disruption sets the stage for acts of sexual impulsivity and compulsivity, but can also lead to emotional dysregulation, sexual anorexia, and sexual dysfunction in adulthood.

Men who have experienced sexual abuse deserve to be heard and to heal! The wounded inner child deserves to be comforted and protected. The lies men have told themselves must be confronted and dispelled. The adult deserves to be free of the impact of sexual abuse and move into living a happy life free of emotional, physical, relational, and sexual dysfunction, and sexual compulsivity. My hope is that by listening to this audiobook, men can find hope for themselves by making sense of their experience and find healing for the secret shame that has kept them from developing into the men they were intended to be. The road to healing begins now!

©2022 Douglas W. Carpenter (P)2022 Douglas W. Carpenter
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What listeners say about Secret Shame

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Great Resource

Dr. Doug Carpenter presents an excellent,  deep, academic dive into the world of male sexual abuse. He supplements his research with personal interviews with 13 male sexual abuse survivors to help the reader understand how the concepts taught affect the lives of males who were sexually abused by other males. Dr. Carpenter writes with a secular presentation while remaining faith friendly. Whether the reader is a survivor of male sexual abuse, loves someone who is, or is a caregiver, he or she will find this book and the corresponding workbook extremely helpful in understanding males who were sexually abused by other males.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A much-needed resource!

Dr. Carpenter once again delivers a book that quite extensively explores a topic in need of attention. Carpenter is very thorough in this survey of male sexual abuse, covering definitions and variations of the abuse and trauma reactions. All the while, he avoids a purely academic work by incorporating qualitative research from interviews of over a dozen abuse survivors. He presents the material and treatment options in such a measured and objective manner that readers of different cultures and worldviews can receive the information and guidance. I will highly recommend this resource as a therapist.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent Listen! A Healing Manual.

As a 65 year old survivor of Male Sexual Abuse I have been searching for material to help me understand how I feel about what happened to me at age 12. That abuse lasted for 6 years.

This audiobook greatly helped me to come to terms and acceptance of the many feelings I have. I now have an understanding of why I reacted the way I did at age 12. It also provides direction on what steps I can further take to continue my healing.

I highly recommend this audiobook. It is helping me in ways I did not expect, which I am grateful for.

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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

It was good but not enough clarity around healing

IMO an imbalanced focus on the problem and not as enough focus on the healing pieces. I’m willing to accept that this may not have been completely been for me for where I am in my journey. But I skipped for ward a ton to get to how to heal myself. And some part that speaks other than psycho therapy since that’s not affordable for me right now.

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