Secret Shame
A Survivor's Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse and Male Sexual Development
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Narrated by:
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ChasMandala
About this listen
Sexual abuse is the secret shame that lies deep within. Men hold on to this secret shame for an average of 25 years before they disclose the hurt and pain they have endured and carried from sexual abuse perpetrated by another male. As men disclose their abuse, it is important to examine how the abuse changed their thinking and behavior. A good majority of men were abused before puberty. The research shows that men, on average, are abused around the age of eight or nine, while in the latency stage of development. The disruption of this phase creates a stirring of sexual curiosity and desire awakened before its time.
This early awakening has a direct effect on behavior. Boys may tend to seek out further sexual exploration, have an increased interest in pornography, seek out their abuser and initiate sexual activity, or may be driven to initiate sexual acts with others long before the natural instinct of puberty and progression into adolescent desires instinctively emerge. The latency disruption sets the stage for acts of sexual impulsivity and compulsivity, but can also lead to emotional dysregulation, sexual anorexia, and sexual dysfunction in adulthood.
Men who have experienced sexual abuse deserve to be heard and to heal! The wounded inner child deserves to be comforted and protected. The lies men have told themselves must be confronted and dispelled. The adult deserves to be free of the impact of sexual abuse and move into living a happy life free of emotional, physical, relational, and sexual dysfunction, and sexual compulsivity. My hope is that by listening to this audiobook, men can find hope for themselves by making sense of their experience and find healing for the secret shame that has kept them from developing into the men they were intended to be. The road to healing begins now!
©2022 Douglas W. Carpenter (P)2022 Douglas W. CarpenterListeners also enjoyed...
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- Narrated by: Carlotta Brentan
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents' feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
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Life Changing
- By Michele Leigh Brown on 05-16-21
By: Darlene Lancer
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Born for Love
- Why Empathy Is Essential - and Endangered
- By: Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz
- Narrated by: Corey M. Snow
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.
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Born for Love is a Rallying Call for Caring and Cry for Help
- By Jeffrey Olsen on 09-24-18
By: Bruce D. Perry, and others
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Unbroken Brain
- A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction
- By: Maia Szalavitz
- Narrated by: Marisa Vitali
- Length: 12 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Challenging both the idea of the addict's "broken brain" and the notion of a simple "addictive personality", Unbroken Brain offers a radical and groundbreaking new perspective, arguing that addiction is a learning disorder, and shows how seeing the condition this way can untangle our current debates over treatment, prevention, and policy.
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Not what I expected
- By Jennifer Sader on 08-28-16
By: Maia Szalavitz
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Life Unlocked
- 7 Revolutionary Lessons to Overcome Fear
- By: Srinivasan S. Pillay MD
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Both our conscious and more deeply embedded fears act as saboteurs in our lives, influencing us to make "safe" choices and limiting our ability to live happy, fulfilling lives. But imagine if you could learn how to take control of your brain’s instinctive response to danger. In Life Unlocked, Harvard-trained psychiatrist Dr. Srinivasan Pillay draws from cutting-edge research in neuroscience to show you how to do just this: to move past fear and unlock the potential of your life.
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Fascinating science in brain biology
- By Lesley Quick on 09-23-15
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
- By: Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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Emotional Intelligence
- By: Daniel Goleman
- Narrated by: Barrett Whitener
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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It is the tenth anniversary since the first publication of Daniel Goleman's groundbreaking bestseller, Emotional Intelligence, which maps the territory where IQ meets EQ, where we apply what we know to how we live. Spending over a year on the New York Times bestseller list, Emotional Intelligence provided the evidence for what many successful people already knew: being smart isn't just a matter of mastering facts; it's a matter of mastering your own emotions and understanding the emotions of the people around you.
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Good info, hard to listen sometimes
- By Stephanie on 04-16-03
By: Daniel Goleman
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The Addictive Personality
- Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior, Second Edition
- By: Craig Nakken
- Narrated by: Fred Sanders
- Length: 4 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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For over two decades, The Addictive Personality has helped people understand the process of addiction. Now, through this second edition, author Craig Nakken brings new depth and dimension to our understanding of how an individual becomes an addict. Going beyond the definition that limits dependency to the realm of alcohol and other drugs, Nakken uncovers the common denominator of all addiction and describes how the process is progressive.
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Excellent book!
- By Amazon Customer on 10-24-19
By: Craig Nakken
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Recover to Live
- Kick Any Habit, Manage Any Addiction: Your Self-Treatment Guide to Alcohol, Drugs, Eating Disorders, Gambling, Hoarding, Smoking, Sex, and Porn
- By: Christopher Kennedy Lawford
- Narrated by: Seth Michael Donsky
- Length: 13 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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From New York Times bestselling author of Symptoms of Withdrawal and Moments of Clarity Christopher Kennedy Lawford comes a book that will save lives. For most of his early life, Christopher Kennedy Lawford battled life-threatening drug and alcohol addictions. Now in recovery for more than 25 years, he works to effect change and raise global awareness of addiction in nonprofit, private, and government circles, serving as the goodwill ambassador for drug dependence treatment and care for the United Nations.
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I didn't know I was a workaholic
- By wh on 06-17-13
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Rewire
- Change Your Brain to Break Bad Habits, Overcome Addictions, Conquer Self-Destructive Behavior
- By: Richard O'Connor Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 10 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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We humans tend to get in our own way time and time again - whether it comes to not speaking up for ourselves, going back to bad romantic partners, our umpteenth diet, or engaging in any of a range of bad habits we just can’t seem to shake. In Rewire, renowned psychotherapist Richard O’Connor, PhD, reveals why our bad habits die so hard. We have two brains - one a thoughtful, conscious, deliberative self, and the other an automatic self that does most of the work without our attention.
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Meh
- By Grateful on 12-31-14
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When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder
- A Guide for Adult Children
- By: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Narrated by: Daniel S. Lobel PhD
- Length: 4 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up with a mom who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is difficult - but it’s still possible to have a functioning adult relationship with her. When Your Mother Has Borderline Personality Disorder provides you with crucial information for understanding the patterns behind her Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as the tools you need to start your own recovery process.
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Great advice IF you decide to or must continue a relationship with someone with BPD
- By Sarah M. on 05-21-24
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Soar Above
- How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain Under Any Kind of Stress
- By: Steven Stosny PhD
- Narrated by: Michael Quinlan
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Success in work, love, and life depends on developing habits that activate the powerful prefrontal cortex when we need it most. Unfortunately, under stress, the human brain tends to revert to emotional habits we forged in toddlerhood: blame, denial, avoidance, reacting to a jerk like a jerk, and turning our connections into cold shoulders - or worse. In Soar Above, renowned relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny offers a groundbreaking formula for building new, pressure-resistant habits.
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Life changing/planet changing!
- By rowing girl on 10-02-16
What listeners say about Secret Shame
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Daniel J. Hitz
- 10-10-22
Great Resource
Dr. Doug Carpenter presents an excellent, deep, academic dive into the world of male sexual abuse. He supplements his research with personal interviews with 13 male sexual abuse survivors to help the reader understand how the concepts taught affect the lives of males who were sexually abused by other males. Dr. Carpenter writes with a secular presentation while remaining faith friendly. Whether the reader is a survivor of male sexual abuse, loves someone who is, or is a caregiver, he or she will find this book and the corresponding workbook extremely helpful in understanding males who were sexually abused by other males.
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- Androoo
- 09-19-22
A much-needed resource!
Dr. Carpenter once again delivers a book that quite extensively explores a topic in need of attention. Carpenter is very thorough in this survey of male sexual abuse, covering definitions and variations of the abuse and trauma reactions. All the while, he avoids a purely academic work by incorporating qualitative research from interviews of over a dozen abuse survivors. He presents the material and treatment options in such a measured and objective manner that readers of different cultures and worldviews can receive the information and guidance. I will highly recommend this resource as a therapist.
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- Experimental Eddy
- 07-23-23
Excellent Listen! A Healing Manual.
As a 65 year old survivor of Male Sexual Abuse I have been searching for material to help me understand how I feel about what happened to me at age 12. That abuse lasted for 6 years.
This audiobook greatly helped me to come to terms and acceptance of the many feelings I have. I now have an understanding of why I reacted the way I did at age 12. It also provides direction on what steps I can further take to continue my healing.
I highly recommend this audiobook. It is helping me in ways I did not expect, which I am grateful for.
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- Jay Lashawn
- 03-24-24
It was good but not enough clarity around healing
IMO an imbalanced focus on the problem and not as enough focus on the healing pieces. I’m willing to accept that this may not have been completely been for me for where I am in my journey. But I skipped for ward a ton to get to how to heal myself. And some part that speaks other than psycho therapy since that’s not affordable for me right now.
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