Simon & Emily Are Going to Hell
A Love Story (Sort Of)
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Narrated by:
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Lee J Isserow
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By:
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Lee J Isserow
About this listen
Simon & Emily are in love. They're also damned to hell.
It's complicated, but trust me, I'll walk you through the details.
Perhaps I should introduce myself:
Hi, I'm your narrator, and I talk too much. However, this is a story that requires lots of words to be told, lots of tangents, and far too many expletives.
Jane Austen, this is not.
In this tome, you'll find Faustian deals, sex, expletives, comedy, tragedy, expletives, comedy, horror, comedy, and expletives.
And it's funny; did I mention it's funny?
Also, the world ends and the heroes go to hell.
Spoiler alert
©2016 Lee Isserow (P)2016 Lee IsserowListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
He’s the Man With No Name and the owner of No Alibis, a mystery bookshop in Belfast. But when a detective agency next door goes bust, the agency’s clients start calling into his shop asking him to solve their cases. It’s not as if there’s any danger involved. It’s an easy way to sell books to his gullible customers and Alison, the beautiful girl in the jewellery shop across the road, will surely be impressed. Except she’s not – because she can see the bigger picture.
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Mystery, humor & literary nuances - GREAT
- By Toby on 09-06-13
By: Colin Bateman
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The Ferryman Institute
- A Novel
- By: Colin Gigl
- Narrated by: Stephen Hoye
- Length: 14 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Ferryman Charlie Dawson saves dead people - somebody has to convince them to move on to the afterlife, after all. Having never failed a single assignment, he's acquired a reputation for success that's as legendary as it is unwanted. It turns out that serving as a Ferryman is causing Charlie to slowly lose his mind. Deemed too valuable by the Ferryman Institute to be let go and too stubborn to just give up in his own right, Charlie's pretty much abandoned all hope of escaping his grim existence. Or he had, anyway, until he saved Alice Spiegel.
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Narrator does not capture tone of the story
- By Jessica Bell on 03-15-17
By: Colin Gigl
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Dr Yes
- By: Colin Bateman
- Narrated by: Stephen Armstrong
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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The hilarious new Mystery Man crime caper from the master of menace and mirth. Beauty is in the eye of the be header. The wife of crime writer Augustine Wogan disappeared shortly after entering the exclusive clinic of the mysterious Dr Yes, plastic surgeon extraordinaire. As fatherhood approaches, the Small Bookseller with No Name is persuaded to investigate. He soon finds himself up to his neck in murder, make-up and madness - and face to face with the most gruesome serial killer since the last one.
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Fun diversion from the usual fair
- By Dennis on 11-09-12
By: Colin Bateman
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An Unattractive Vampire
- By: Jim McDoniel
- Narrated by: Drew Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.
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Blood, Guts and lots of laughs!
- By Aaron on 08-27-16
By: Jim McDoniel
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Borderline
- The Arcadia Project, Book 1
- By: Mishell Baker
- Narrated by: Arden Hammersmith
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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A year ago Millie lost her legs and her filmmaking career in a failed suicide attempt. Just when she's sure the credits have rolled on her life story, she gets a second chance with the Arcadia Project: a secret organization that polices the traffic to and from a parallel reality filled with creatures straight out of myth and fairy tales. For her first assignment, Millie is tasked with tracking down a missing movie star who also happens to be a nobleman of the Seelie Court.
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It's the characters
- By Ken Schneyer on 02-11-17
By: Mishell Baker
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The White Devil
- By: Justin Evans
- Narrated by: Christian Coulson
- Length: 12 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The Harrow School is home to privileged adolescents known as much for their distinctive dress and traditions as for their arrogance and schoolboy cruelty. Seventeen-year-old American Andrew Taylor is enrolled in the esteemed British institution by his father, who hopes that the school's discipline will put some distance between his son and his troubled past in the States. But trouble - and danger - seem to follow Andrew. When one of his schoolmates and friends dies mysteriously of a severe pulmonary illness, Andrew is blamed and is soon an outcast....
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Eerie tale, well read
- By MJ on 12-21-11
By: Justin Evans
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Gods Behaving Badly
- By: Marie Phillips
- Narrated by: Rosalyn Landor
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Being immortal is not all it once was. Yes, the 12 Greek gods of Olympus are alive and well in the 21st century, but they are crammed together in a London town house: and are none too happy about it. Even more disturbing, their powers are waning.
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Delightful fantasy
- By Mike From Mesa on 12-29-07
By: Marie Phillips
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Are You Watching Me?
- DS Claire Boyle, Book 2
- By: Sinead Crowley
- Narrated by: Aoife McMahon
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Dear Elizabeth, I've been watching you. I hope to see you...soon. Liz Cafferky is on the up. Rescued from her dark past by the owner of a drop-in centre for older men, Liz soon finds herself as the charity's face - and the unwilling darling of the Dublin media. Amidst her claustrophobic fame, Liz barely notices a letter from a new fan. But then one of the centre's clients is brutally murdered, and Elizabeth receives another, more sinister note. Running from her own ghosts, Liz is too scared to go to the police.
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Fantastic!!
- By Brett McAteer on 03-06-19
By: Sinead Crowley
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The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination
- Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius
- By: John Joseph Adams - editor
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki, Mary Robinette Kowal, Justine Eyre
- Length: 15 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Mad scientists have never had it so tough. In super-hero comics, graphic novels, films, TV series, video games, and even works of what may be fiction, they are besieged by those who stand against them, devoid of sympathy for their irrational, megalomaniacal impulses to rule, destroy, or otherwise dominate the world as we know it. It’s just not fair. So those of us who are so twisted and sick that we love mad scientists have created this guide.
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HAND DANCING
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-30-15
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Blood Oranges
- A Siobhan Quinn Novel
- By: Kathleen Tierney
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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My name's Quinn. If you buy into my reputation, I'm the most notorious demon hunter in New England. But rumors of my badassery have been slightly exaggerated. Instead of having kung-fu skills and a closet full of medieval weapons, I'm an ex-junkie with a talent for being in the wrong place at the right time. Or the right place at the wrong time. Or…whatever. Wanted for crimes against inhumanity I (mostly) didn't commit, I was nearly a midnight snack for a werewolf until I was "saved" by a vampire calling itself the Bride of Quiet.
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Great Narration, Subpar Book
- By Mel Thomas on 12-17-14
By: Kathleen Tierney
What listeners say about Simon & Emily Are Going to Hell
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Bethany
- 05-29-16
Refreshing author & narrator
I laughed hard throughout this story. Superb imagery and fitting narration. I will look for more from this author
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