Carpet Diem
Or...How to Save the World by Accident
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Narrated by:
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Matthew Lloyd Davies
About this listen
Fifteen years after losing most of his family to a devastating, pudding-related tragedy, Simon Debovar has settled into a life of self-imposed exile from the stinking, selfish morass of humanity. Content that his daily highlights will include hazelnut coffee, a long bath, and the occasional jar of olives, his life is completely upturned by the discovery that his ornate living room carpet is the deciding factor in a bet between God and Satan.
When mysteriously well-timed carpet thieves deprive him of the crucial heirloom, Simon is forced to leave his hermit's existence behind for a world of angels, demons, witches, and immortals.
And then it gets complicated.
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- Narrated by: Rebecca Rainsford
- Length: 26 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Afterlife...just some gothic nightclub where gossip is fuelled by the presence of a rich and unearthly, handsome family or afterlife...the strange place where time seems to stand still and guests feel the presence of something more powerful held within the confines of the VIP. Keira is new to this small, cold town and is running from a past that seems to feast on her darkest memories. She finds living with her sister away from English soil to be just the ticket to the new life she is trying desperately to find.
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It is a good book yet it is NOT in many ways
- By Lexi on 11-29-16
By: Stephanie Hudson
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A Girl's Guide to Vampires
- By: Katie MacAlister
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 13 hrs and 15 mins
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Joy Randall's Top-five tips for vampire hunters: Location, location, location. Vampires won't be caught dead (ha!) in places like discos, 10-minute lube shops, or Switzerland. Remember, if you wouldn't be there, neither would a bloodsucker. Trust your eyes. You know the handsome, annoyingly arrogant, self-assured man in the shadows with long hair and a cleft in his chin? He's your vampire. No matter how tempting it might be, do not "accidentally" acquire a paper cut on your finger and suggest your vampire kiss it to make it better....
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Female lead too stupid to live
- By Jessica on 02-04-13
By: Katie MacAlister
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Halo
- Halo Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Alexandra Adornetto
- Narrated by: Alexandra Adornetto
- Length: 14 hrs and 38 mins
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Three angels - Gabriel, the warrior; Ivy, the healer; and Bethany, the youngest and most human - are sent by Heaven to bring good to a world falling under the influence of darkness. They work hard to conceal their luminous glow, superhuman powers, and, most dangerous of all, their wings, all the while avoiding all human attachments. Then Bethany meets Xavier Woods, and neither of them is able to resist the attraction between them.
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Love Conquers All... Twilight for Christian teens
- By Wrightaway on 10-18-10
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Drake
- The Burned Man, Book 1
- By: Peter McLean
- Narrated by: Mark Meadows
- Length: 8 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Hitman Don Drake owes a gambling debt to a demon. Forced to carry out one more assassination to clear his debt, Don unwittingly kills an innocent child and brings the Furies of Greek myth down upon himself. Rescued by an almost fallen angel called Trixie, Don and his magical accomplice - the Burned Man, an imprisoned archdemon - are forced to deal with Lucifer himself whilst battling a powerful evil magician.
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Excellent story with character development!
- By Ketil on 11-21-16
By: Peter McLean
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The Christmas Secret
- By: Karen Swan
- Narrated by: Laura Main
- Length: 15 hrs and 53 mins
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Alex Hyde is the leaders' leader. An executive coach par excellence, she's the person the great and the good turn to when the pressure gets too much; she can change the way they think, how they operate, she can turn around the very fortunes of their companies.
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Was the narrator Nurse Turner?
- By Sally on 12-24-17
By: Karen Swan
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Blood Song
- Blood Singer, Book 1
- By: Cat Adams
- Narrated by: Arika Escalona
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
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Bodyguard Celia Graves has definitely accepted her share of weird assignments, both human and supernatural. But her newest job takes the cake. Guarding a prince from terrorists and religious fundamentalists is hard enough, but it seems like the entire supernatural world is after this guy too. When she is betrayed by those she is employed to help, and everything goes horribly wrong, Celia wakes to find herself transformed. Neither human nor vampire, Celia has become an abomination-something that should not exist-and now both human and supernatural alike want her dead.
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Blood Song
- By Andrew on 05-15-12
By: Cat Adams
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Rosemary and Rue
- An October Daye Novel, Book 1
- By: Seanan McGuire
- Narrated by: Mary Robinette Kowal
- Length: 11 hrs and 16 mins
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The world of Faerie never disappeared: it merely went into hiding, continuing to exist parallel to our own. Secrecy is the key to Faerie’s survival—but no secret can be kept forever, and when the fae and mortal worlds collide, changelings are born. Half-human, half-fae, outsiders from birth, these second-class children of Faerie spend their lives fighting for the respect of their immortal relations.
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Missed Matched Pair
- By G Reinhardt on 11-26-11
By: Seanan McGuire
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The Faerie Guardian
- Creepy Hollow Series, Book 1
- By: Rachel Morgan
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie, Zach Villa
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
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Protecting humans from dangerous magical creatures is all in a day's work for a faerie training to be a guardian. Seventeen-year-old Violet Fairdale knows this better than anyone - she's about to become the best guardian the Guild has seen in years. That is until a cute human boy who can somehow see through her faerie glamour follows her into the fae realm. Now she's broken Guild Law, a crime that could lead to her expulsion.
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Charming YA Fantasy
- By J.E. Johnson on 06-03-15
By: Rachel Morgan
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What My Best Friend Did
- By: Lucy Dawson
- Narrated by: Georgia Maguire
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
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Alice's life has become a bit boring lately. Her friends are busy getting married and having babies, but she's not ready for those changes in her own life - not even sure she still loves her boyfriend. Then she meets Gretchen. A brand-new, fun and unencumbered friend. Gretchen knows how to have a good time, and she also has a totally gorgeous brother. Before she knows it, Alice has been swept up into her new best friend's world. But Gretchen has a dark secret. Will Alice learn the truth before she throws her old life away?
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hmm
- By Claire Lieber on 03-11-19
By: Lucy Dawson
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The Forgotten Village
- By: Lorna Cook
- Narrated by: Beth Eyre
- Length: 11 hrs and 2 mins
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1943: the world is at war, and the villagers of Tyneham are being asked to make one more sacrifice: to give their homes over to the British army. But on the eve of their departure, a terrible act will cause three of them to disappear forever. 2018: Melissa had hoped a break on the coast of Dorset would rekindle her stagnant relationship, but despite the idyllic scenery, it’s pushing her and Liam to the brink.
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Ridiculous
- By christina on 06-06-23
By: Lorna Cook
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Beneath a Blood Red Moon
- The Alliance Vampires, Book 1
- By: Heather Graham
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 12 hrs and 29 mins
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For more than a century, Maggie Montgomery has hidden her true nature from the humans around her. But when Lieutenant Sean Canady follows a trail of blood from a drained corpse to the door of her New Orleans boutique, the ethereal beauty realizes the comfortable life she’s made for herself is once again in danger.... Despite her fears that her secrets are no longer safe, it’s the past that could ultimately be Maggie’s undoing. Sean Canady, a Civil War hero, was the love of her life.
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Somewhat disappointing...
- By karen on 05-08-14
By: Heather Graham
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The Nanny’s Lie
- By: Sue Fortin
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Hopper
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
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Helen has had to leave everything she's ever known behind: her home, her family, even her own name. Now, returning to the UK as Ellen Newman, she moves to a small coastal village, working as a nanny for Donovan, a criminal psychologist. Attractive, caring and protective, this single father and his sweet daughter are a world away from Ellen's brutal past. But Ellen can't shake the feeling that something's wrong.
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Really sad a woman wrote this
- By Mariel on 06-23-17
By: Sue Fortin
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Jig the goblin was the runtiest member of an admittedly puny race. Jig was scrawny, so nearsighted as to be almost blind, and had such a poor self-image that when he chose a god to worship, it was one of the forgotten ones - after all, what other sort of god would have him as worshiper? He also had a cowardly fire-spider for a pet, a creature that was likely to set your hair on fire if it got into a panic. Made to stand tunnel watch by the goblin bullies who'd been assigned the job, it was just Jig's luck to be taken captive by a group of adventurers.
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Theater of the mind
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My name is Drew Hayes, and for the past six years I've made my living as a writer. In that time, I've published 20 books, written hundreds of thousands of words, and made countless mistakes - most of which I like to think I've learned from. Underqualified Advice (and Other Amusing Diversions) is my attempt to compile those lessons and share them with others, as well as have some fun along the way. Half of the book is dedicated to detailing specifics about writing, maneuvering the industry, and keeping fiscally afloat in largely unstable waters.
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Lovely but many sad moments
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Enjoyable if you manage your expectations
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A twisted tale of murder in the world of big-stakes bass fishing tournaments. Filled with ex-wives, evangelists, and an armed pit-bull, this is a story that could only be concocted by Carl Hiaasen, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, New York Times best-selling author, and czar of Florida noir fiction.
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What listeners say about Carpet Diem
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- John Williams
- 03-05-17
Enjoyable ride
I quite enjoyed this absurdist comedy. The story is satisfying and the humor will bring a smile to your face. The story circles around a man who has absented himself from society until one day an angel and a demon show up on his door step demanding he pick one to give his living room carpet to and thus decide the fate of the world. After that, the story starts to get strange. This wont be your book of the year, but it is fun.
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- Debbie
- 10-23-20
Entertaining with Great Narrator
Very unique story with lots of humor. The narrator did a fabulous job bringing each character to life.
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- BRR
- 02-01-23
Super funny!
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was funny & irreverent & a great story. You will not be sorry you used a credit for this.
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- Audra
- 02-09-23
Bizarrely fun
While I admit more than wondering, “what on earth is this book talking about,” it’s bizarre strömt line kept me wondering what would happen next. By the end of the book, I truly liked all the characters. The resolution is worth it.
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- Tatiana
- 02-19-23
Taty
Wonderful pass time for all nerds😃.
Fantasy about nothing serious but also about the most important stuff in life.
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- Andrew L. Carter
- 04-02-19
a good but long story.
an enjoyable but at times too wordy story. good for a long road trip .
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- Tamera
- 11-03-24
Brilliant!!!!
Perfectly written and narrated British wit and cynicism. This is a throughly enjoyable read, in the vein of Neil Gamon.
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- David Krzywicki
- 12-03-20
Incredible
I absolutely, one hundred percent love this story. It is unique, quirky, witty, funny, and just all around fun! Not a dull moment from start to finish. I won't go into details because I don't want to spoil anything, but if you're on the fence about getting it, just get it. You won't regret it.
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- C C Johnson
- 05-19-23
Devilishly Good
This is a fun romp! A wealthy hermit, a pirate, a ninja, a man who spends 12 hours of each day as a faun and knows everything~except the future, angels, demons and those who used to angels and demons. What more would you need for a fun read? How about a tele-porter and an island paradise complete with youth and beauty spells? This race to prevent the end of the world hinges on ownership of a living room carpet which was stolen and must be found so it can be turned over to the angel or the demon ~ or so it seems.
The narrator does an excellent job of handling all the different characters’ very different voices.
I highly recommend this audio book!
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- Michael Sabedra
- 11-05-24
always enjoyable
book is amazing. I got it for a gift some years ago. since then I've owned a hard copy and lent it out and lost it to the person who also enjoyed it. I'll be happy to share his books with everyone.
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