
Carpet Diem
Or...How to Save the World by Accident
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.00 for first 30 days
Buy for $15.47
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Matthew Lloyd Davies
About this listen
Fifteen years after losing most of his family to a devastating, pudding-related tragedy, Simon Debovar has settled into a life of self-imposed exile from the stinking, selfish morass of humanity. Content that his daily highlights will include hazelnut coffee, a long bath, and the occasional jar of olives, his life is completely upturned by the discovery that his ornate living room carpet is the deciding factor in a bet between God and Satan.
When mysteriously well-timed carpet thieves deprive him of the crucial heirloom, Simon is forced to leave his hermit's existence behind for a world of angels, demons, witches, and immortals.
And then it gets complicated.
©2015 Justin Lee Anderson (P)2017 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
-
The Lost War
- The Eidyn Saga, Book 1
- By: Justin Lee Anderson
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 20 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With a ragged peace in place, demons burn farmlands, violent Reivers roam the wilds and plague has spread beyond the Black Meadows. The country is on its knees. In a society that fears and shuns him, Aranok is the first magically-skilled draoidh to be named King's Envoy. Now, charged with restoring an exiled foreign queen to her throne, he leads a group of strangers across the ravaged country. But at every step, a new mystery complicates their mission.
-
-
Holy Cow!
- By Lisa M. Perkey on 05-11-20
-
The End of the World Is Nigh
- By: Tony Moyle
- Narrated by: Aubrey Parsons
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Everyone’s heard of Nostradamus. No one’s heard of Philibert Montmorency. One was a legend. The other, not so much.... A newly discovered Nostradamus prophecy has taken the internet by storm thanks to "The Oblivion Doctrine", a group of online conspiracy theorists. Apparently the end is nigh. And in case anyone’s interested, nigh is definitely a Tuesday. Doctor Ally Oldfield, professor of Medieval Languages, is summoned to Lyon for a second opinion. She’s not happy about it. But then again she’s rarely happy about anything.
-
-
only got 5 stars cause no six
- By xenduro on 11-19-19
By: Tony Moyle
-
Jake's Magical Market
- By: J.R. Mathews
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 20 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jake is working at the neighborhood market under his apartment when the world ends. He expected nuclear war, a computer virus, or even climate change burning everyone to a crisp to bring about the downfall of civilization. But cruel and arbitrary gods from another world? Who would have guessed that? When these cruel gods shuffled Earth like a deck of cards, nothing was in the same place anymore. Monsters, dungeons, and magical items appear scattered across the globe. And suddenly, everyone has access to a new, strange magical card system that gives them magical powers.
-
-
Lots of 5 star reviews
- By Noah M on 01-09-22
By: J.R. Mathews
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
NPCs
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
-
-
Enjoyable if you manage your expectations
- By Miachi on 01-23-15
By: Drew Hayes
-
John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
-
-
Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
-
The Lost War
- The Eidyn Saga, Book 1
- By: Justin Lee Anderson
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 20 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With a ragged peace in place, demons burn farmlands, violent Reivers roam the wilds and plague has spread beyond the Black Meadows. The country is on its knees. In a society that fears and shuns him, Aranok is the first magically-skilled draoidh to be named King's Envoy. Now, charged with restoring an exiled foreign queen to her throne, he leads a group of strangers across the ravaged country. But at every step, a new mystery complicates their mission.
-
-
Holy Cow!
- By Lisa M. Perkey on 05-11-20
-
The End of the World Is Nigh
- By: Tony Moyle
- Narrated by: Aubrey Parsons
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Everyone’s heard of Nostradamus. No one’s heard of Philibert Montmorency. One was a legend. The other, not so much.... A newly discovered Nostradamus prophecy has taken the internet by storm thanks to "The Oblivion Doctrine", a group of online conspiracy theorists. Apparently the end is nigh. And in case anyone’s interested, nigh is definitely a Tuesday. Doctor Ally Oldfield, professor of Medieval Languages, is summoned to Lyon for a second opinion. She’s not happy about it. But then again she’s rarely happy about anything.
-
-
only got 5 stars cause no six
- By xenduro on 11-19-19
By: Tony Moyle
-
Jake's Magical Market
- By: J.R. Mathews
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 20 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jake is working at the neighborhood market under his apartment when the world ends. He expected nuclear war, a computer virus, or even climate change burning everyone to a crisp to bring about the downfall of civilization. But cruel and arbitrary gods from another world? Who would have guessed that? When these cruel gods shuffled Earth like a deck of cards, nothing was in the same place anymore. Monsters, dungeons, and magical items appear scattered across the globe. And suddenly, everyone has access to a new, strange magical card system that gives them magical powers.
-
-
Lots of 5 star reviews
- By Noah M on 01-09-22
By: J.R. Mathews
-
Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
-
-
Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
-
NPCs
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: Roger Wayne
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.
-
-
Enjoyable if you manage your expectations
- By Miachi on 01-23-15
By: Drew Hayes
-
John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
-
-
Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
-
The Colour of Magic
- Discworld, Book 1
- By: Terry Pratchett
- Narrated by: Colin Morgan, Peter Serafinowicz, Bill Nighy
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place that might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. Particularly as it’s carried though space on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown). It plays by different rules. But then, some things are the same everywhere. The Disc’s very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the world’s first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land.
-
-
TERRIBLE Narration!
- By Kayla I on 07-08-22
By: Terry Pratchett
-
Clovenhoof
- By: Heide Goody, Iain Grant
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Charged with gross incompetence, Satan is fired from his job as prince of Hell and exiled to that most terrible of places: English suburbia. Forced to live as a human under the name of Jeremy Clovenhoof, the dark lord not only has to contend with the fact that no one recognizes him or gives him the credit he deserves but also has to put up with the bookish war-gamer next door and the voracious man-eater upstairs.
-
-
This Series Is Phenomenal
- By Marcus on 10-27-19
By: Heide Goody, and others
-
Zeus Is Dead
- A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure
- By: Michael G. Munz
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nine months ago, Zeus' murder catapulted the Greek gods back into public life. Now, the whole pantheon revels in new temples, casinos, and media empires - except Apollo. An overachiever with a bursting portfolio of godly duties, the amount of email alone he receives from rapacious mortals turns each day into a living hell. Yet there may be hope, if only he can return Zeus to life! With the aid of Thalia, the muse of comedy and science fiction, Apollo will risk his very godhood to help TV producer Tracy Wallace and a gamer geek named Leif, who hold the key to Zeus' resurrection.
-
-
Like a fresh cranberry-orange nut muffin w/ fudge
- By Melissa and Josh on 11-20-18
By: Michael G. Munz
-
A Man with One of Those Faces
- By: Caimh McDonnell
- Narrated by: Morgan C. Jones
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The first time somebody tried to kill him was an accident. The second time was deliberate. Now Paul Mulchrone finds himself on the run with nobody to turn to except a nurse who has read one-too-many crime novels and a renegade copper with a penchant for violence. Together they must solve one of the most notorious crimes in Irish history. Or else they’ll be history.
-
-
Not easily pleased
- By Anna on 08-30-18
By: Caimh McDonnell
-
Cosmic Delivery Boy
- Cosmic Delivery Boy, Book 1
- By: L.G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Matt Cowlrick
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Simon is the best delivery boy that Mr Edwards’s restaurant has ever had. He’s on time every time, and he’s gotten nothing but good reviews. But he needs more money. His mother’s medical treatment won’t pay for itself, and his father is already working three jobs to try to make ends meet. But it might just be his lucky day: Mr. Edwards has another job for him. It’s more delivery work, but not the usual kind. You might even say that it’s out of this world. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, and the pay is fantastic.
-
-
L.G. Estrella did it again
- By Gabe on 08-31-22
By: L.G. Estrella
-
Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat, and an Army of Golems
- An Unconventional Heroes Publisher's Pack
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Fred Berman
- Length: 13 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
-
-
Sound Editing Needed
- By Robert on 05-29-20
By: L. G. Estrella
-
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Dramatized Adaptation)
- By: Drew Hayes
- Narrated by: full cast, Christopher Walker, Nora Achrati, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort. One fateful night, Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos that is the parahuman world.
-
-
No Kirby means No Fred
- By Rubin S. Bashir on 01-04-21
By: Drew Hayes
-
He Who Fights with Monsters: A LitRPG Adventure
- He Who Fights with Monsters, Book 1
- By: Shirtaloon, Travis Deverell
- Narrated by: Heath Miller
- Length: 28 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s not easy making the career jump from office-supplies-store middle manager to heroic interdimensional adventurer. At least, Jason tries to be heroic, but it's hard to be good when all your powers are evil. He’ll face off against cannibals, cultists, wizards, monsters...and that’s just on the first day. He’s going to need courage, he’s going to need wit, and he’s going to need some magic powers of his own. But first, he’s going to need pants.
-
-
Great!
- By tb3 on 03-10-21
By: Shirtaloon, and others
-
Gods Behaving Badly
- By: Marie Phillips
- Narrated by: Rosalyn Landor
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Being immortal is not all it once was. Yes, the 12 Greek gods of Olympus are alive and well in the 21st century, but they are crammed together in a London town house: and are none too happy about it. Even more disturbing, their powers are waning.
-
-
Delightful fantasy
- By Mike From Mesa on 12-29-07
By: Marie Phillips
-
Beware of Chicken: A Xianxia Cultivation Novel
- Beware of Chicken, Book 1
- By: Casualfarmer
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 12 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jin Rou wanted to be a cultivator. A man powerful enough to defy the heavens. A master of martial arts. A lord of spiritual power. Unfortunately for him, he died, and now I’m stuck in his body. Arrogant Masters? Heavenly Tribulations? All that violence and bloodshed? Yeah, no thanks. I’m getting out of here. Farm life sounds pretty great. Tilling a field by hand is fun when you’ve got the strength of ten men—though maybe I shouldn’t have fed those Spirit Herbs to my pet rooster.
-
-
Fun
- By Julie on 05-26-22
By: Casualfarmer
-
Attempted Vampirism: Publisher's Pack
- Attempted Vampirism, Books 1-2
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 17 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
-
-
Loved it!
- By swyrlgirl on 01-05-21
By: L. G. Estrella
-
A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
- By: T. Kingfisher
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter, and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance. But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries.
-
-
A tour de force unimaginably good
- By Joella Berkner on 10-21-21
By: T. Kingfisher
Critic reviews
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
Schrodinger's Cottage
- By: David Luddington
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tinker's Cottage nestles in a forgotten corner of deepest Somerset. It also happens to sit on a weak point in the space time continuum...which is somewhat unfortunate for Ian Faulkener, a graphic novelist from London, who was hoping for some peace and quiet in which to recuperate following a very messy breakdown. It was the cats that first alerted Ian to the fact that something was not quite right with Tinker's Cottage...the cats and, of course, the Pope, disappearing literary agents, mislaid handymen and the insanity of Cherie Blair World.
-
-
I'd listen to a sequel
- By Melisa on 03-28-21
By: David Luddington
-
Zeus Is Dead
- A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure
- By: Michael G. Munz
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nine months ago, Zeus' murder catapulted the Greek gods back into public life. Now, the whole pantheon revels in new temples, casinos, and media empires - except Apollo. An overachiever with a bursting portfolio of godly duties, the amount of email alone he receives from rapacious mortals turns each day into a living hell. Yet there may be hope, if only he can return Zeus to life! With the aid of Thalia, the muse of comedy and science fiction, Apollo will risk his very godhood to help TV producer Tracy Wallace and a gamer geek named Leif, who hold the key to Zeus' resurrection.
-
-
Like a fresh cranberry-orange nut muffin w/ fudge
- By Melissa and Josh on 11-20-18
By: Michael G. Munz
-
Witches Be Crazy
- By: Logan J. Hunder
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik's beautiful, long-lost daughter. With the land's heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there's only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit, and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.
-
-
perfect nonsense
- By Jen on 09-04-20
By: Logan J. Hunder
-
A Nameless Witch
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Being born undead can have its disadvantages, such as eternal youth and flawless beauty-things most unsuitable for a witch. Hiding behind the guise of a grimy old crone, the witch is content living outside Fort Stalwart with her unlikely band of allies: a troll named Gwurm, an enchanted broom, and a demonic duck named Newt. She leads a simple life filled with spells, potions, and the occasional curse.
-
-
Early Martinez
- By colleen on 03-31-15
By: A. Lee Martinez
-
Shakedowners
- Shakedowers Series, Book 1
- By: Justin Woolley
- Narrated by: Grant Cartwright
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Some starship captains explore strange new worlds, seeking out new life and new civilizations. Some lead missions of discovery through wormholes to the other side of the galaxy. Then there's Captain Iridius B. Franklin, someone who spent too long seeking out strange new bars and new alien cocktails.
-
-
Romping good fun
- By Andrea on 02-10-22
By: Justin Woolley
-
Coyote Blue
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With New York Times best-sellers like Bloodsucking Fiends to his credit, Christopher Moore has developed a devoted cult following. Coyote Blue introduces Samuel Hunter, a young man who's running from his past while being tormented by an ancient Crow God with a talent for mischief.
-
-
ehhhh...
- By Michelle on 08-17-09
-
Schrodinger's Cottage
- By: David Luddington
- Narrated by: Nigel Planer
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Tinker's Cottage nestles in a forgotten corner of deepest Somerset. It also happens to sit on a weak point in the space time continuum...which is somewhat unfortunate for Ian Faulkener, a graphic novelist from London, who was hoping for some peace and quiet in which to recuperate following a very messy breakdown. It was the cats that first alerted Ian to the fact that something was not quite right with Tinker's Cottage...the cats and, of course, the Pope, disappearing literary agents, mislaid handymen and the insanity of Cherie Blair World.
-
-
I'd listen to a sequel
- By Melisa on 03-28-21
By: David Luddington
-
Zeus Is Dead
- A Monstrously Inconvenient Adventure
- By: Michael G. Munz
- Narrated by: Travis Baldree
- Length: 13 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nine months ago, Zeus' murder catapulted the Greek gods back into public life. Now, the whole pantheon revels in new temples, casinos, and media empires - except Apollo. An overachiever with a bursting portfolio of godly duties, the amount of email alone he receives from rapacious mortals turns each day into a living hell. Yet there may be hope, if only he can return Zeus to life! With the aid of Thalia, the muse of comedy and science fiction, Apollo will risk his very godhood to help TV producer Tracy Wallace and a gamer geek named Leif, who hold the key to Zeus' resurrection.
-
-
Like a fresh cranberry-orange nut muffin w/ fudge
- By Melissa and Josh on 11-20-18
By: Michael G. Munz
-
Witches Be Crazy
- By: Logan J. Hunder
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The beloved King Ik is dead, and there was barely time to check his pulse before the royal throne was supporting the suspiciously shapely backside of an impostor pretending to be Ik's beautiful, long-lost daughter. With the land's heroic hunks busy drooling all over themselves, there's only one man left who can save the kingdom of Jenair. His name is Dungar Loloth, a rural blacksmith turned innkeeper, a surly hermit, and an all-around nobody oozing toward middle age, compensating for a lack of height, looks, charm, and tact with guts and an attitude.
-
-
perfect nonsense
- By Jen on 09-04-20
By: Logan J. Hunder
-
A Nameless Witch
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Ann Marie Lee
- Length: 10 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Being born undead can have its disadvantages, such as eternal youth and flawless beauty-things most unsuitable for a witch. Hiding behind the guise of a grimy old crone, the witch is content living outside Fort Stalwart with her unlikely band of allies: a troll named Gwurm, an enchanted broom, and a demonic duck named Newt. She leads a simple life filled with spells, potions, and the occasional curse.
-
-
Early Martinez
- By colleen on 03-31-15
By: A. Lee Martinez
-
Shakedowners
- Shakedowers Series, Book 1
- By: Justin Woolley
- Narrated by: Grant Cartwright
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Some starship captains explore strange new worlds, seeking out new life and new civilizations. Some lead missions of discovery through wormholes to the other side of the galaxy. Then there's Captain Iridius B. Franklin, someone who spent too long seeking out strange new bars and new alien cocktails.
-
-
Romping good fun
- By Andrea on 02-10-22
By: Justin Woolley
-
Coyote Blue
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: James Jenner
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With New York Times best-sellers like Bloodsucking Fiends to his credit, Christopher Moore has developed a devoted cult following. Coyote Blue introduces Samuel Hunter, a young man who's running from his past while being tormented by an ancient Crow God with a talent for mischief.
-
-
ehhhh...
- By Michelle on 08-17-09
-
The Strange Case of the Moderate Extremists
- By: Alexander McCall Smith
- Narrated by: David Rintoul
- Length: 2 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Detective Ulf Varg from the Department of Sensitive Crimes is often called upon to investigate unusual matters. But rarely is he asked to conduct an inquiry on behalf of his own family. Is such a thing ethical? Adding to Ulf's moral discomfort is the fact that he does not exactly see eye to eye with his younger brother Bjorn - a leading player in one of Sweden's right-wing parties, the Moderate Extremists. Still, family is family, so Ulf finds himself working to uncover the mole leaking secrets to a rival party, the Extreme Moderates.
-
-
I wanted to know who did what.
- By A. Bohn on 07-31-20
-
The Lost War
- The Eidyn Saga, Book 1
- By: Justin Lee Anderson
- Narrated by: Euan Morton
- Length: 20 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With a ragged peace in place, demons burn farmlands, violent Reivers roam the wilds and plague has spread beyond the Black Meadows. The country is on its knees. In a society that fears and shuns him, Aranok is the first magically-skilled draoidh to be named King's Envoy. Now, charged with restoring an exiled foreign queen to her throne, he leads a group of strangers across the ravaged country. But at every step, a new mystery complicates their mission.
-
-
Holy Cow!
- By Lisa M. Perkey on 05-11-20
-
The Substitution Order
- By: Martin Clark
- Narrated by: David Aaron Baker
- Length: 13 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From Martin Clark - praised by Entertainment Weekly as "our best legal-thriller writer" - comes a wickedly clever, tenderhearted, and intricately plotted novel about a hard-luck lawyer's refusal to concede defeat, even as fate, the court system, and a gang of untouchable con artists conspire against him.
-
-
Poor Poor (Brilliant!) Kevin
- By Meg on 07-10-19
By: Martin Clark
-
So Not a Hero
- By: S. J. Delos
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After serving two years in a federal prison, Karen Hashimoto is out on parole and eager to put her criminal past behind her. No easy task, since she's also the former supervillain known as Crushette. A chance encounter leads to an unexpected opportunity, and she is recruited as the newest member of the city's premier team of superheroes: The Good Guys.
-
-
Graphic Suprrhero Sex
- By The Blue Canary on 05-17-16
By: S. J. Delos
-
Always Greener
- General Buzz Series, Book 1
- By: J. R. H. Lawless
- Narrated by: Matthew Lloyd Davies
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A smash-hit reality show is offering a lifetime of luxury to the one person living the world's worst life, and now everyone is out to prove just how bad they've got it. Want in? All you've got to do is accept ocular implants that let the whole world see life through your eyes, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Fortunately, there's still one person who hasn't lost faith in all humanity. The show's ever-smiling host is determined to wring some tiny bit of meaning out of this twisted competition and your unhappy existence.
-
-
Story is good, the accents are not
- By River Kemp on 05-16-25
By: J. R. H. Lawless
-
The Supervillain Handbook
- The Ultimate How-to Guide to Destruction and Mayhem
- By: King Oblivion PhD, Matt Wilson - read to
- Narrated by: Richard Allen
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Looking for a way out of the rat race? Tired of your ho-hum, workaday life? Have an inexplicable love of turning human beings into inanimate objects? Then professional supervillainy might just be for you! With tips from the renowned founder and overlord of the International Society of Supervillains, The Supervillain Handbook is your one-stop-shop for everything evil. Gain invaluable insight on the art of revenge, choosing your evil name, where to find the perfect lair, and much more!
-
-
all time best narrator performance
- By AE on 10-14-20
By: King Oblivion PhD, and others
-
The Perpetual Astonishment of Jonathon Fairfax
- By: Christopher Shevlin
- Narrated by: Finlay Robertson
- Length: 12 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Jonathon Fairfax accidentally helps a murderer bump off Sarah Morecambe, the secretary of a senior politician, he sets off a chain of events that astonishes him. Jonathon is wrong-footed by even the most everyday things, so he's particularly startled to find himself caught up in a conspiracy that goes right to the heart of government. Teaming up with a suave private investigator, a glamorous granny and the probable love of his life, Jonathon must confront his greatest fears - including talking to girls and balaclava-clad killers - and answer some very difficult questions.
-
-
Great story with LOL moments
- By Bethany on 12-11-20
-
Purgatory Gardens
- A Novel
- By: Peter Lefcourt
- Narrated by: Noah Michael Levine
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sammy Dee is a mid-level Long Island mafioso in witness protection. Didier Onyekachukwu was the corrupt minister of finance of the former Upper Volta. Both men find themselves in middle age, living in the Southern California version of genteel poverty in a down-market condo complex called Paradise Gardens. Enter Marcy Gray, a "mature" actress barely getting by on a meager SAG pension.
-
-
Ugh
- By J. Hoover on 11-25-21
By: Peter Lefcourt
-
The Prince Has No Pants
- Ben's Damn Adventure, Book 1
- By: Matthew Howry
- Narrated by: Johnathan McClain
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
All life on Earth has been stolen away by The System. It was transported to another world at the behest of a distant galactic empire that lives in terror of humanity's potential. Ben - just a normal, if not slightly above average guy - had been about to go on the first real vacation of his adult life. But plans changed. Now, he must contend with danger and mystery in a world full of monsters, magic, and treasure. Armed with nothing but his wits and a special item given to him by The System, he embarks on a damn good adventure.
-
-
Ignore any reviews below 3 stars... and probably the 5 star ones too.
- By Christopher on 02-06-21
By: Matthew Howry
-
Shingles Audio Collection Volume 1
- Shingles Series, Volume 1
- By: Robert Bevan, Rick Gualtieri, Steve Wetherell, and others
- Narrated by: Cassandra Myles, Cal Wembly
- Length: 13 hrs and 40 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The collection begins with "The Ghost of Hooker Alley," which introduces listeners to 10-year-old Sarah and six-year-old Tommy. After a quick bus ride into town to buy a gun, Sarah and Tommy think their problems are all but solved. That is, until a creepy weirdo follows them into an alley. But they aren't the only ones in that alley.... "The Monkey's Penis" features Chris, a teenage boy who receives a birthday gift unlike any other. In "Gary's Children," a man's quest for stress relief leads to terror, and an unexpected kidnapping takes place in "Aliens Wrecked Our Kegger."
-
-
From most of the creators of Authors and Dragons!
- By Greg Hill on 10-23-18
By: Robert Bevan, and others
-
Warlock Holmes
- A Study in Brimstone
- By: G. S. Denning
- Narrated by: Robert Garson
- Length: 9 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sherlock Holmes is an unparalleled genius who uses the gift of deduction and reason to solve the most vexing of crimes. Warlock Holmes, however, is an idiot. A good man, perhaps; a font of arcane power, certainly. But he’s brilliantly dim. Frankly, he couldn’t deduce his way out of a paper bag. The only things he has really got going for him are the might of a thousand demons and his stalwart flatmate. Thankfully, Dr. Watson is always there to aid him through the treacherous shoals of Victorian propriety...
-
-
Short on Clues--Heavy on Delightful Twists
- By Gillian on 01-10-17
By: G. S. Denning
-
Guild Master
- A LitRPG Adventure (Tower of Power, Book 1)
- By: Ivan Kal
- Narrated by: Ryan Burke
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Morgan used to be a pretty normal guy. He went to college by day and played online games by night, leading his guild into new conquests - until he got hit by a car and a dude wearing a wet suit appeared in front of him. The man offered him a new chance at life in a world he had created, a world with similar rules to the games Morgan loved to play. There is the promise of great rewards and power, he says, if Morgan manages to complete the Tower of Power.
-
-
YA novel
- By Chax on 03-06-19
By: Ivan Kal
Entertaining with Great Narrator
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Super funny!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Bizarrely fun
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Fantasy about nothing serious but also about the most important stuff in life.
Taty
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Enjoyable ride
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
a good but long story.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Brilliant!!!!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
engaging and hilarious read
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Incredible
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
The narrator does an excellent job of handling all the different characters’ very different voices.
I highly recommend this audio book!
Devilishly Good
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.