Starving in Search of Me
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Narrated by:
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Emily Woo Zeller
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By:
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Marissa LaRocca
About this listen
This confessional self-help guide explores the complex emotional truth of what it’s like when food, weight, and body image take priority over every other human impulse or action. Activist author Marissa LaRocca’s revelatory tale includes her struggle with her secrets, including sexuality, and how she emerged as an outspoken advocate for gay rights and women’s health issues.
Many young women and girls struggle with the body image issues that engender eating disorders with elaborate rituals around food, binging, purging, and hiding it all while trying to maintain a face of normalcy to the world. Anorexia and bulimia have become major national health crises, with skyrocketing statistics indicating that between 3 and 5 percent of the population suffer anorexia nervosa alone. Sadly, many never attain the sense of being “normal” and deal with a lifetime of body image and self-esteem issues.
This intimate account of courage and the search for truth and meaning will have you rooting for Marissa LaRocca as she unravels the emotional layers of her own battle with food, body image, and sexuality. Readers of this riveting memoir will relate to the coming-of-age story of a young woman confronting some of life’s major issues while living, for a time, in two closets: one to hide her eating disorder and one to hide her sexuality and very identity. Echoes of Portia de Rossi’s Unbearable Lightness resound in LaRocca’s portrait of a life seemingly lived out in the open but, in truth, very much concealed.
Through her inspiring triumphs and revelations, activist and author Marissa LaRocca invites readers to confront themselves. She asks, “What if, at the root of all ‘disorders’, is the refusal to acknowledge or permit certain feelings - feelings that, if witnessed, have the power to free their sufferers? To what extent are ‘disorders’ actually doorways to helping us understand the truth about our lives?”
In addition to her personal story, LaRocca takes a close look at society’s role in the development of eating disorders and other mental health challenges, establishing that the prevalence of such “illnesses” represent a collective yearning for connection, acceptance, and emotional nourishment among generations that are starving for so many things. Starving in Search of Me resolves with hope and an abundance of insights, tools, and resources to support eating disorder sufferers and members of the LGBTQ community alike. It’s a head-on journey toward total self-acceptance that will nourish the spirit and inspire readers to embrace their differences and nurture their authentic selves.
©2018 Marissa LaRocca (P)2018 Blackstone AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom. We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger. We feel virtuous when we wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day. We put others’ needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary. In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses—often lauded as unselfish, distinctly feminine instincts—are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of mores known as the Seven Deadly Sins.
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Autobiography in Disguise
- By Lindsey on 06-11-23
By: Elise Loehnen
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How to Be Fine
- What We Learned by Living by the Rules of 50 Self-Help Books
- By: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Narrated by: Jolenta Greenberg, Kristen Meinzer
- Length: 4 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In each episode of their podcast By the Book, Jolenta Greenberg and Kristen Meinzer take a deep dive into a different self-help book, following its specific instructions, rules, and advice to the letter. From diet and productivity to decorating to social interactions, they try it all, record themselves along the way, then share what they’ve learned with their devoted and growing audience of fans who tune in.
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Disappointed
- By doughswan on 10-23-20
By: Jolenta Greenberg, and others
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I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck
- An Everyman’s Guide to a Meaningful Life
- By: John Kim
- Narrated by: John Kim
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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In I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck, Kim delivers the dos and don’ts for stepping up and into manhood, which he defines by transparency and strength of character, not six-pack abs or a corner office. With his signature no-nonsense approach that will make you laugh and think, Kim takes you on a rugged, rough-and-tumble road trip of self-exploration and discovery, sharing his wisdom and insights.
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Some wisdom, some common knowledge.
- By Rick on 02-21-19
By: John Kim
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Within
- A Spiritual Awakening to Love & Weight Loss
- By: Dr. Habib Sadeghi
- Narrated by: David Booth
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Dr. Habib Sadeghi provides a compassionately based, scientifically sound approach to the missing ingredient in the weight-loss recipe: self-love. You’ll learn that real self-love is far more than an ethereal concept. It’s a tangible evolutionary force that will create changes in your life that can only be described as miraculous. You’ll discover the exciting emerging science of epigenetics and that fat is not all in the family. You’ve never been doomed by your genes and have far more control over your weight than you ever realized.
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The Book PDF to turn the plan into action is missing the majority of the content.
- By Amazon Customer on 04-16-20
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The Emotional Edge
- Discover Your Inner Age, Ignite Your Hidden Strengths, and Reroute Misdirected Fear to Live Your Fullest
- By: Crystal Andrus Morissette
- Narrated by: Andi Arndt
- Length: 9 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The Emotional Edge is an exciting expansion of Crystal's successful brand - she has tackled weight management, confidence building, and spiritual growth; now she combines all that and more into her most powerful program yet. The Emotional Edge is a guide for letting go of the past and embracing a more empowered future. This audiobook is spiritual self-help designed to teach listeners how to overcome behavioral ruts and engage the world from a happier, more empowered place.
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the world needs more of this.
- By Amber Jessop on 11-25-17
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Sit Down to Rise Up
- By: Shelly Tygielski
- Narrated by: Shelly Tygielski
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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The practice of mindfulness is most often touted for its profound mind, body, and spirit benefits. Shelly Tygielski here shows that mindfulness can also be a powerful tool for spurring transformative collective action. In a winning combination of memoir, manifesto, and how-to, Tygielski shares her evolution from a Jerusalem-born child of traditional Sephardic Orthodox parents to a middle-class American suburban youth who questioned her faith to a young executive in corporate America.
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Relevant and Motivating
- By Shelly G on 07-01-22
By: Shelly Tygielski
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Bare
- A 7-Week Program to Transform Your Body, Get More Energy, Feel Amazing, and Become the Bravest, Most Unstoppable Version of You
- By: Susan Hyatt
- Narrated by: Susan Hyatt
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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You are a badass whole woman with big dreams, big feelings, and big potential. What are you hiding behind that shield of overeating? Who do you want to be when you put down the shield and take on life's battles bare? This is the perfect book if you want to take excellent care of yourself, upgrade your mental and physical health, build confidence, conquer your goals, crush the patriarchy, and look and feel damn good while doing it. Bare is not a weight-loss plan. It's a life-gain plan.
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Week 1-Purged all Self-Help from my media
- By Sher on 08-07-19
By: Susan Hyatt
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Mastering Your Mean Girl
- The No-BS Guide to Silencing Your Inner Critic and Becoming Wildly Wealthy, Fabulously Healthy, and Bursting with Love
- By: Melissa Ambrosini
- Narrated by: Melissa Ambrosini
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Ready to live your dream life? You know that sneaky voice inside your head telling you that you're not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, whatever enough? That's your Mean Girl. And she's doing her best to keep you stuck in Fear Town, too scared to go after the life you always imagined. But enough's enough! Melissa Ambrosini has made a life beyond her wildest dreams, all by mastering her Mean Girl, busting through limiting beliefs and karate-chopping through the fears that held her hostage for years.
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Sadly, couldn't even get through the first half...
- By shannon on 07-19-16
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Fat Girls in Black Bodies
- Creating Communities of Our Own
- By: Joy Arlene Renee Cox Ph.D., Ta'lor Pinkston - foreword, Jill Andrew Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Gwendolyn Carter
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Structured into three sections - "belonging," "resistance," and "acceptance" - and informed by personal history, community stories, and deep research, Fat Girls in Black Bodies breaks down the myths, stereotypes, tropes, and outright lies we've been sold about race, body size, belonging, and health. Cox's razor-sharp cultural commentary exposes the racist roots of diet culture, healthism, and the ways we erroneously conflate body size with personal responsibility.
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AMAZING
- By Amazon Customer on 03-21-21
By: Joy Arlene Renee Cox Ph.D., and others
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The Goddess Revolution
- By: Mel Wells
- Narrated by: Mel Wells
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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If you've ever struggled with diets, food, body image, or your weight, then The Goddess Revolution is your new handbook for life. Imagine how much you would fall in love with your life again if you weren't so consumed by negative thoughts about food, your weight, and your body. Imagine if you could effortlessly find yourself at your perfect weight, in your perfect body, and feel happier and freer around food than ever before.
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Disappointing for me but might be helpful for others
- By Anna D* on 09-03-18
By: Mel Wells
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Building Unstoppable Self-Confidence for Teens
- The Fail-Safe Formula for Finding Yourself, Overcoming Limitations and Creating Your Best Life from the Inside Out
- By: Derek T Freeman
- Narrated by: William Romano-Pugh
- Length: 3 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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You already have the key to unlocking your real personality and fearlessly creating your authentic life free of labels and comparisons–you just need to be shown how. Whether you’re a nerd or a jock, an overachiever or an underachiever, a loner or an outcast, that is not your entire identity. It’s just one tiny part of the vast you.
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Packed with helpful information for teens
- By Janet Garcia on 04-24-23
By: Derek T Freeman
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How to Be Sad
- Everything I’ve Learned About Getting Happier by Being Sad
- By: Helen Russell
- Narrated by: Helen Russell
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Helen Russell has researched sadness from the inside out for her entire life. Her earliest memory is of the day her sister died. Her parents divorced soon after, and her mother didn’t receive the help she needed to grieve. Coping with her own emotional turmoil — including struggles with body image and infertility — she’s endured professional and personal setbacks as well as relationships that have imploded in truly spectacular ways. Even the things that brought her the greatest joy — like eventually becoming a parent — are fraught with challenges.
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More an self biography
- By Jaime Murillo on 04-27-24
By: Helen Russell
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More than a Body
- Your Body Is an Instrument, Not an Ornament
- By: Lexie Kite, Lindsay Kite
- Narrated by: Lexie Kite PhD, Lindsay Kite PhD
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Our beauty-obsessed world perpetuates the idea that happiness, health, and ability to be loved are dependent on how we look, but authors Lindsay and Lexie Kite offer an alternative vision. With insights drawn from their extensive body image research, Lindsay and Lexie—PhDs and founders of the nonprofit Beauty Redefined (and also twin sisters!)—lay out an action plan that arms you with the skills you need to reconnect with your whole self and free yourself from the constraints of self-objectification.
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Good Intentions; Questionable Message.
- By Lacquered By Bec on 05-03-21
By: Lexie Kite, and others
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The Self-Love Experiment
- Fifteen Principles for Becoming More Kind, Compassionate, and Accepting of Yourself
- By: Shannon Kaiser
- Narrated by: Shannon Kaiser
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Put a stop to self-sabotage and overcome your fears so that you can gain the confidence you need to reach your goals and become your own best friend. Too many people seem to believe that they are not allowed to put themselves first or go after their own dreams out of fear of being selfish or sacrificing others' needs. The Self-Love Experiment rectifies this problem. Whether you want to achieve weight loss, land your dream job, find your soul mate, or get out of debt, it all comes back to self-love and accepting yourself first.
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Not for me.
- By Crippledhobo on 06-24-18
By: Shannon Kaiser
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Slay Like a Mother
- How to Destroy What's Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want
- By: Katherine Wintsch
- Narrated by: Katherine Wintsch
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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In this emotionally charged how-to guide, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll discover eye-opening lessons about: The mask you're wearing. The one you hide behind when you say everything is "just fine" when it's not. Your unrealistic expectations. The goal-setting tactics you're deploying to get ahead could be what's holding you back. The difference between struggling and suffering. Being a mother is a struggle - it always has been - but your suffering is optional.
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Great for dads too!
- By Earl Cox on 06-20-19
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Always Too Much and Never Enough
- By: Jasmin Singer
- Narrated by: Jasmin Singer
- Length: 11 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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From the extra pounds and bullies that left her eating lunch alone at school to the low self-esteem that left her both physically and emotionally vulnerable to abuse, Jasmin Singer's weight defined her life. Even after she embraced a vegan lifestyle and a passion for animal rights advocacy, she defied any skinny vegan stereotypes by getting heavier. It was only after she committed to juice fasts and a diet of whole foods that she lost almost a hundred pounds and realized what it means to be truly full.
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Touching and inspirational
- By Daniel on 02-19-16
By: Jasmin Singer
What listeners say about Starving in Search of Me
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jackie A.
- 04-16-21
Refreshing take from a Queer Perspective
I enjoyed this book specifically in the way the authors sexuality played into their disordered eating. I have read many memoirs with EDs being the commonality, but it is rare to see someone who does not identify as heterosexual and I appreciate the representation. I would have enjoyed more details regarding how and what tools the author used to find recovery. I found this story to be heavy in the past tense qnd somewhat lacking in the present/future. really loves the lists and tools incorporated throughout though!
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- Cassie
- 01-08-21
ED recovery
It’s pretty good! She likes listing things- very organized. I liked the narrative aspect of the beginning about her suffering from her eating disorder. I found it easy to relate. I like the end- bits are more advice and help to overcome an eating disorder/ addiction. It’s helpful and insightful- not too clinical at times books get preachy, and too clinical— not the case for this. I had many take away and enjoyed it
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1 person found this helpful
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- Kris Ford
- 02-22-18
Raw and Relatable
I love the realness Marissa brought to this book. She didn't sugar coat the reason behind her struggles. I could relate on a deep level of understanding, because I struggle in silent, with these things myself. The book was beautifully written, and helped me go into deep thinking on what I can do to help myself, and change my own life and future. I would even recommend this to anyone who even struggles with body dysmorphic disorder, or general anxiety. It's more than a story about an eating disorder. It's a book about taking your life back, and learning to love yourself!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Seastonesx
- 10-06-21
Pretty good!
I will say that there’s a trigger warning: binging, purging, etc.
obviously considering the books title.
I enjoyed this book because I learned as I followed the story of the writer. I learned a lot about disordered eating. At the end of the book, the author reflects on her journey which is a bit eye opening. As a clinician, this book painted a great picture of what my clients struggle with every day. I fully recommend this to others who work with this population or know someone struggling or if you’re just becoming more aware.
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- J.B.
- 03-21-18
Preachy
Only about 1/3rd of this book relates to her eating disorder directly. The other parts were good, but not exactly what I had signed up for. May have liked it more if I knew I was getting into something with a more 'self help' kind of vibe.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 11-02-20
Eating disorder
The author shares her eating disorder experiences and relates it with gender fluidity journey. It’s kind.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Wilana Hattingh
- 09-18-20
Read it (:
Loved it. Such an honest and thoughtful evaluation of the factors that precipitate and perpetuate eating disorders, and the many roles they play in the lives of those affected. As a former people-pleaser myself, the author's journey to assert her identity and come to terms with having a right to her appetites is both moving and provocative. A helpful perspective for anyone working through disordered eating.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Yuliya Danilova
- 01-16-22
YD
The author is the same age as me and i have all the same thoughts and experienced all the same things. I am very grateful for this book. This is a great relief to read it. It inspires, empowers and gives hope.
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- katherine
- 05-20-22
lots of good takeaways
I found it very relatable and insightful having battled an eating disorder most of my life. I do have more conservative values and viewpoints that caused me less interest toward the end of the book
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- Cheryl Garrison
- 12-16-22
INCREDIBLE
This is a must-read even if you do not have an eating disorder. This book covers addictions, sexual identity, gender, and other struggles. I even bought the book so that i could read some of the parts or all of the book again.
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