Because We Are Bad
OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought
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Narrated by:
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Lily Bailey
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By:
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Lily Bailey
About this listen
Written with the indelible power of Girl, Interrupted, Brain on Fire, and Reasons to Stay Alive, a lyrical, poignant memoir by a young woman about her childhood battle with debilitating obsessive compulsive disorder, and her hard-won journey to recovery.
By the age of 13, Lily Bailey was convinced she was bad. She had killed someone with a thought, spread untold disease, and ogled the bodies of other children. Only by performing an exhausting series of secret routines could she make up for what she'd done. But no matter how intricate or repetitive, no act of penance was ever enough.
Beautifully written and astonishingly intimate, Because We Are Bad recounts a childhood consumed by obsessive compulsive disorder. As a child, Bailey created a second personality inside herself - "I" became "we" - to help manifest compulsions that drove every minute of every day of her young life. Now she writes about the forces beneath her skin, and how they ordered, organized, and urged her forward. Lily charts her journey, from checking on her younger sister dozens of times a night, to "normalizing" herself at school among new friends as she grew older, and finally to her young adult years, learning - indeed, breaking through - to make a way for herself in a big, wide world that refuses to stay in check.
Charming and raw, harrowing and redemptive, Because We Are Bad is an illuminating and uplifting look into the mind and soul of an extraordinary young woman, and a startling portrait of OCD that allows us to see and understand this condition as never before.
©2018 Lily Bailey (P)2018 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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By: Mark Edwards, and others
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Watermelon
- By: Marian Keyes
- Narrated by: Gerri Halligan
- Length: 13 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At 29, Claire is full of the joys of life - that is, until her husband leaves her on the day she gives birth to her baby. With a broken heart, a beautiful newly born and an expanding mirror image, she decides to visit her eccentric family in Dublin. There she starts to feel better. So much better, in fact, that James is in for a surprise when he decides to slither back into her life....
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A fun read, every time
- By Audrey Smith on 01-06-23
By: Marian Keyes
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The Woman Who Stole My Life
- By: Marian Keyes
- Narrated by: Aoife McMahon
- Length: 15 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
In her own words, Stella Sweeney is just "an ordinary woman living an ordinary life with her husband and two teenage kids", working for her sister in their neighborhood beauty salon. Then one day she is struck by a serious illness that lands her in the hospital for months.
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First Part? Good. Second Part? Ugh!
- By Gillian on 08-31-17
By: Marian Keyes
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The Ice Cream Girls
- By: Dorothy Koomson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles, Charlotte Parry, Tim Gerard Reynolds
- Length: 14 hrs and 51 mins
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Best-selling author Dorothy Koomson's novels have been translated into 28 languages. In The Ice Cream Girls, 18-year-old Serena Gorringe and 16-year-old Poppy Carlisle were tried for the murder of their teacher - but only Poppy was convicted of the crime. Twenty years later, Poppy is released from prison - and she's determined to force Serena to admit her part in the killing.
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Great Book - Hard Content
- By Sherry L. Wright on 06-01-14
By: Dorothy Koomson
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What My Best Friend Did
- By: Lucy Dawson
- Narrated by: Georgia Maguire
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Alice's life has become a bit boring lately. Her friends are busy getting married and having babies, but she's not ready for those changes in her own life - not even sure she still loves her boyfriend. Then she meets Gretchen. A brand-new, fun and unencumbered friend. Gretchen knows how to have a good time, and she also has a totally gorgeous brother. Before she knows it, Alice has been swept up into her new best friend's world. But Gretchen has a dark secret. Will Alice learn the truth before she throws her old life away?
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hmm
- By Claire Lieber on 03-11-19
By: Lucy Dawson
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The Name of the Star
- Shades of London, Book 1
- By: Maureen Johnson
- Narrated by: Nicola Barber
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
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Overall
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The day Louisiana teenager Rory Deveaux arrives in London marks a memorable occasion. For Rory, it’s the start of a new life at a London boarding school. But for many, this will be remembered as the day a series of brutal murders broke out across the city - gruesome crimes mimicking the horrific work of Jack the Ripper in the autumn of 1888. Soon “Rippermania” takes hold of modern-day London, and the police are left with few leads and no witnesses. Except one. Rory spotted the man police believe to be the prime suspect.
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Paranormal Ripper-Related YA
- By Amy on 08-05-14
By: Maureen Johnson
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Divided Minds
- Twin Sisters and Their Journey Through Schizophrenia
- By: Pamela Spiro Wagner, Carolyn S. Spiro MD
- Narrated by: Kimberly Farr, Amanda Carlin
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
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Divided Minds is a dual memoir of identical twins, one of whom faces a life sentence of schizophrenia and the other who becomes a psychiatrist after entering the spotlight that had for so long been focused on her sister.
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intense!
- By Snow Dunn on 09-12-19
By: Pamela Spiro Wagner, and others
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Disclaimer: A Novel
- By: Renée Knight
- Narrated by: Michael Pennington, Laura Paton
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
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Finding a mysterious novel at her bedside plunges documentary filmmaker Catherine Ravenscroft into a living nightmare. Though ostensibly fiction, The Perfect Stranger recreates in vivid, unmistakable detail the terrible day she became hostage to a dark secret, a secret that only one other person knew - and that person is dead.
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Dilemma could have been solved in 30 seconds
- By Jen on 05-20-15
By: Renée Knight
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Sister Sister
- A truly absorbing psychological thriller
- By: Sue Fortin
- Narrated by: Helen Keeley
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Alice: beautiful, kind, manipulative, liar. Clare: intelligent, loyal, paranoid, jealous. Clare thinks Alice is a manipulative liar who is trying to steal her life. Alice thinks Clare is jealous of her long-lost return and place in their family. One of them is telling the truth. The other is a maniac. Two sisters. One truth.
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Wow, that was intense!
- By Wayne on 04-21-17
By: Sue Fortin
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The Last Thing I Remember
- By: Deborah Bee
- Narrated by: Yolanda Kettle, Lucy Middleweek
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
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A novel that grips from the very beginning and that will live long in the memory, The Last Thing I Remember is Deborah Bee's startling debut thriller. Sarah is in a coma. Her memory is gone - she doesn't know how she got there. And she doesn't know how she might get out. But then she discovers that her injury wasn't an accident. And that the assailant hasn't been caught. Unable to speak, see or move, Sarah must use every clue that she overhears to piece together her own past.
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Grow up...
- By Kelly on 03-08-20
By: Deborah Bee
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White Lies
- By: Lucy Dawson
- Narrated by: Rachel Atkins
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
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A darkly gripping domestic drama about secrets and lies. When you have everything, you have everything to lose.... Alexandra Inglis is a respected family doctor, trusted by her patients to keep their most intimate secrets. And if sometimes the boundaries between duty and desire blur...well, she's only human. But when Alex oversteps a line with Jonathan, one of her patients, she knows she's gone too far.
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Kept me guessing!!
- By ROBIN on 05-26-18
By: Lucy Dawson
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Murphy's Boy
- By: Torey Hayden
- Narrated by: Loretta Rawlins
- Length: 12 hrs
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Overall
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Performance
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His name was Kevin but his keepers called him Zoo Boy. He didn't talk. He hid under tables and surrounded himself with a cage of chairs. He hadn't been out of the building in the four years since he'd come in. He was afraid of water and wouldn't take a shower. He was afraid to be naked, to change his clothes. He was nearly 16. Desperate to see change in the boy, the staff of Kevin's adolescent treatment center hired Hayden. As Hayden read to him and encouraged him to read, crawling down into his cage of chairs with him, Kevin talked.
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want to meet Kevin
- By Cherish on 10-14-15
By: Torey Hayden
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Breaking Night
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- By: Liz Murray
- Narrated by: Liz Murray
- Length: 14 hrs and 13 mins
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Liz Murray was born to loving but drug-addicted parents in the Bronx. In school she was taunted for her dirty clothing and lice-infested hair, eventually skipping so many classes that she was put into a girls' home. At age 15, Liz found herself on the streets when her family finally unraveled. She learned to scrape by, foraging for food and riding subways all night to have a warm place to sleep. Then, when Liz's mother died of AIDS, she decided to take control of her own destiny.
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unbelievably inspiring
- By Amazon Customer on 03-17-12
By: Liz Murray
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He Will Find You
- By: Diane Jeffrey
- Narrated by: Claire Trusson
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
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Kaitlyn Best is stuck in a rut. So when she discovers she's pregnant after a one-night stand with Alex, her school crush, she throws caution to the wind and accepts his offer to make a new life together in the depths of the Lake District, far from her home...and her demons. But Alex is not what he seems. And when Kaitlyn's world begins to crumble before her eyes, she realises she barely knows the man she has agreed to spend the rest of her life with.
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OMG! Such a capturing story
- By Mike & Dakoda on 08-22-18
By: Diane Jeffrey
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Do you find yourself repeatedly checking your email for no reason, asking others for their opinions about something again and again, or lying awake at night overanalyzing and planning ahead? If so, you probably have a problem with compulsive reassurance seeking. The good news is that you can break free from this "reassurance trap" - this book will show you how. In this unique guide, you'll find proven-effective tips and tools using CBT to help you tolerate uncertainty, face specific worrying scenarios, and gradually reduce the compulsion to incessantly seek reassurance.
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From the moment powerful men started falling to the #MeToo movement, the lamentations began: This is feminism gone too far, this is injustice, this is a witch hunt. In The Witches Are Coming, firebrand author of the New York Times best-selling memoir and now critically acclaimed Hulu TV series Shrill Lindy West turns that refrain on its head. You think this is a witch hunt? Fine. You've got one.
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What listeners say about Because We Are Bad
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-08-21
Helped me so much with my OCD
I was at the end of my wits before listening to this book. Felt so alone and was ready to just end it all. The experiences shared in this book echoed in me but also helped me gain some incredible self help tips, and for the first time in years, optimism within my own self (alongside therapy). I hated myself to no end before reading this, and felt undeserving of anything, but after this book I regained some hope in myself and the world around me. Thank you so much!!
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- Jonathan Sicard
- 06-26-23
Essential Read for OCD Relief & Understanding
Lily Bailey's experience is unique enough in the varied presentations of OCD to stand on its own. I think it's a seminal read for sufferers of covert obsessions and compulsions, or what is commonly referred to as "Pure OCD." Labelling aside, many people with OCD find that their symptoms are less obvious to those around them than the examples we often see in movies and on TV. Usually there is some kind of physical manifestation at some point or another, but often the disease can feel more mental, or ruminative. As it often traps its sufferers within their own minds, it can also tend to warp one's sense of identity into a twisted shape, and I believe Lily's story will help heal anyone who feels this kind of "identity OCD" presentation manifesting.
I also think friends and family of people with OCD could stand to gain a lot of perspective from a book such as this. It may be easier for some with the illness to introduce people to their struggles with this book as well.
I really love Lily's writing style. There is something desperate and dreamy in these words. Poetry sprinkles throughout the prose in a delicate, deliberate way, and may create pause in the listener as they take certain phrases in with their eyes closed, nodding and smiling. There are also times when the writing, as well as Bailey's humbling performance, brought me to tears. My experience of OCD is not unlike Ms. Bailey's in some ways. While Lily is not a professional voice actor, or narrator, her insights and experience come through in her voice more strongly felt than they otherwise could. There is also an interesting cultural element to this memoir, and a question to boot: What are the effects of posh British climate on a youth with OCD, and what if that youth were born common, only later to clamber to a higher class in life? What kind of complexes might that create? One could write a whole thesis on something like this.
In closing, Because We Are Bad is one of my favorite books, and probably my favorite book about OCD of all time. Definitely give it a listen.
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- I_am_Guts
- 01-29-21
Thank you x Infinity
I didn't know how much I needed to hear your story. It meant everything to me. I feel let of the hook in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your journey with the world.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-12-18
Amazing ! Candid, honest
This account of a girl’s experience with OCD is salve to anyone who is a patient or has OCD tendencies . It is comforting to hear first hand that bad thoughts happen and doesn’t mean you want to act on them . Means more coming from a person that has lived through it than from a professional just telling you it’s “the disease”
Really worthwhile book for families of patients also
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- Kaylamayla109
- 05-10-18
I'm grateful for this book
Listening to Lily Bailey read her story changed my life forever. Thank you so much Lily!
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- Amy
- 04-08-20
Honest and powerful.
This is an accurately written account of what it’s like to have this kind of ocd. I was so grateful to read such a personal account of what I have called “bad person ocd.” I only know one other person that has this besides myself and I appreciated the honestly and her attention to detail that the author shares. I’ve suggested this book to the other person I know and I would suggest it to anyone who is connected to anyone with ocd. For me, I found strategies to be helpful in minimizing my own and I felt maybe the author might have touched more on them. Maybe they weren’t the most helpful part for her? Wonderful book! I’m so glad she wrote it and glad to have read it.
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- Misha
- 10-02-21
Complex and intriguing
Really good listen. She's so complicated and interesting. And her voice is great, really good narration. It's worth your time.
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- Lou sillvester
- 07-21-22
This book makes me feel not alone
My jaw was on the floor the whole time! Highly recommend if you or someone you love has OCD.
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- O.
- 10-08-23
Very Surprised. Raw, Moving, Unique, True.
OCD has caused my mind to roll the rock of Sisyphus since I was 12 years old. Every OCD case is different, and Lily's is a great example of truth being stranger than fiction. People with this disorder have to *think manually*. You have to pull yourself out of long-term memory and re-sync with working memory, where the OCD "skips" occur.
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- Jeffrey M. Phillips
- 05-12-18
really wonderful
it's probably strange to title this review as really wonderful. However, I have always had OCD as well, and this book just helps. what Miss Bailey has done here may just be bravely sharing her experience but that is so comforting if you've been through similar things so I'm thankful.
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2 people found this helpful