Because We Are Bad
OCD and a Girl Lost in Thought
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Narrated by:
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Lily Bailey
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By:
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Lily Bailey
About this listen
Written with the indelible power of Girl, Interrupted, Brain on Fire, and Reasons to Stay Alive, a lyrical, poignant memoir by a young woman about her childhood battle with debilitating obsessive compulsive disorder, and her hard-won journey to recovery.
By the age of 13, Lily Bailey was convinced she was bad. She had killed someone with a thought, spread untold disease, and ogled the bodies of other children. Only by performing an exhausting series of secret routines could she make up for what she'd done. But no matter how intricate or repetitive, no act of penance was ever enough.
Beautifully written and astonishingly intimate, Because We Are Bad recounts a childhood consumed by obsessive compulsive disorder. As a child, Bailey created a second personality inside herself - "I" became "we" - to help manifest compulsions that drove every minute of every day of her young life. Now she writes about the forces beneath her skin, and how they ordered, organized, and urged her forward. Lily charts her journey, from checking on her younger sister dozens of times a night, to "normalizing" herself at school among new friends as she grew older, and finally to her young adult years, learning - indeed, breaking through - to make a way for herself in a big, wide world that refuses to stay in check.
Charming and raw, harrowing and redemptive, Because We Are Bad is an illuminating and uplifting look into the mind and soul of an extraordinary young woman, and a startling portrait of OCD that allows us to see and understand this condition as never before.
©2018 Lily Bailey (P)2018 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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Watermelon
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- Narrated by: Gerri Halligan
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- Unabridged
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At 29, Claire is full of the joys of life - that is, until her husband leaves her on the day she gives birth to her baby. With a broken heart, a beautiful newly born and an expanding mirror image, she decides to visit her eccentric family in Dublin. There she starts to feel better. So much better, in fact, that James is in for a surprise when he decides to slither back into her life....
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A fun read, every time
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The Woman Who Stole My Life
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In her own words, Stella Sweeney is just "an ordinary woman living an ordinary life with her husband and two teenage kids", working for her sister in their neighborhood beauty salon. Then one day she is struck by a serious illness that lands her in the hospital for months.
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First Part? Good. Second Part? Ugh!
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The Ice Cream Girls
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Best-selling author Dorothy Koomson's novels have been translated into 28 languages. In The Ice Cream Girls, 18-year-old Serena Gorringe and 16-year-old Poppy Carlisle were tried for the murder of their teacher - but only Poppy was convicted of the crime. Twenty years later, Poppy is released from prison - and she's determined to force Serena to admit her part in the killing.
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Great Book - Hard Content
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What My Best Friend Did
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Alice's life has become a bit boring lately. Her friends are busy getting married and having babies, but she's not ready for those changes in her own life - not even sure she still loves her boyfriend. Then she meets Gretchen. A brand-new, fun and unencumbered friend. Gretchen knows how to have a good time, and she also has a totally gorgeous brother. Before she knows it, Alice has been swept up into her new best friend's world. But Gretchen has a dark secret. Will Alice learn the truth before she throws her old life away?
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hmm
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By: Lucy Dawson
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The Name of the Star
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The day Louisiana teenager Rory Deveaux arrives in London marks a memorable occasion. For Rory, it’s the start of a new life at a London boarding school. But for many, this will be remembered as the day a series of brutal murders broke out across the city - gruesome crimes mimicking the horrific work of Jack the Ripper in the autumn of 1888. Soon “Rippermania” takes hold of modern-day London, and the police are left with few leads and no witnesses. Except one. Rory spotted the man police believe to be the prime suspect.
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Paranormal Ripper-Related YA
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By: Maureen Johnson
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Divided Minds is a dual memoir of identical twins, one of whom faces a life sentence of schizophrenia and the other who becomes a psychiatrist after entering the spotlight that had for so long been focused on her sister.
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intense!
- By Snow Dunn on 09-12-19
By: Pamela Spiro Wagner, and others
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Disclaimer: A Novel
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Finding a mysterious novel at her bedside plunges documentary filmmaker Catherine Ravenscroft into a living nightmare. Though ostensibly fiction, The Perfect Stranger recreates in vivid, unmistakable detail the terrible day she became hostage to a dark secret, a secret that only one other person knew - and that person is dead.
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Dilemma could have been solved in 30 seconds
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Alice: beautiful, kind, manipulative, liar. Clare: intelligent, loyal, paranoid, jealous. Clare thinks Alice is a manipulative liar who is trying to steal her life. Alice thinks Clare is jealous of her long-lost return and place in their family. One of them is telling the truth. The other is a maniac. Two sisters. One truth.
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Wow, that was intense!
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A novel that grips from the very beginning and that will live long in the memory, The Last Thing I Remember is Deborah Bee's startling debut thriller. Sarah is in a coma. Her memory is gone - she doesn't know how she got there. And she doesn't know how she might get out. But then she discovers that her injury wasn't an accident. And that the assailant hasn't been caught. Unable to speak, see or move, Sarah must use every clue that she overhears to piece together her own past.
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Grow up...
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White Lies
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A darkly gripping domestic drama about secrets and lies. When you have everything, you have everything to lose.... Alexandra Inglis is a respected family doctor, trusted by her patients to keep their most intimate secrets. And if sometimes the boundaries between duty and desire blur...well, she's only human. But when Alex oversteps a line with Jonathan, one of her patients, she knows she's gone too far.
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Kept me guessing!!
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Murphy's Boy
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His name was Kevin but his keepers called him Zoo Boy. He didn't talk. He hid under tables and surrounded himself with a cage of chairs. He hadn't been out of the building in the four years since he'd come in. He was afraid of water and wouldn't take a shower. He was afraid to be naked, to change his clothes. He was nearly 16. Desperate to see change in the boy, the staff of Kevin's adolescent treatment center hired Hayden. As Hayden read to him and encouraged him to read, crawling down into his cage of chairs with him, Kevin talked.
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want to meet Kevin
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Breaking Night
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Liz Murray was born to loving but drug-addicted parents in the Bronx. In school she was taunted for her dirty clothing and lice-infested hair, eventually skipping so many classes that she was put into a girls' home. At age 15, Liz found herself on the streets when her family finally unraveled. She learned to scrape by, foraging for food and riding subways all night to have a warm place to sleep. Then, when Liz's mother died of AIDS, she decided to take control of her own destiny.
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unbelievably inspiring
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He Will Find You
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Kaitlyn Best is stuck in a rut. So when she discovers she's pregnant after a one-night stand with Alex, her school crush, she throws caution to the wind and accepts his offer to make a new life together in the depths of the Lake District, far from her home...and her demons. But Alex is not what he seems. And when Kaitlyn's world begins to crumble before her eyes, she realises she barely knows the man she has agreed to spend the rest of her life with.
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OMG! Such a capturing story
- By Mike & Dakoda on 08-22-18
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What listeners say about Because We Are Bad
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-08-21
Helped me so much with my OCD
I was at the end of my wits before listening to this book. Felt so alone and was ready to just end it all. The experiences shared in this book echoed in me but also helped me gain some incredible self help tips, and for the first time in years, optimism within my own self (alongside therapy). I hated myself to no end before reading this, and felt undeserving of anything, but after this book I regained some hope in myself and the world around me. Thank you so much!!
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4 people found this helpful
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- I_am_Guts
- 01-29-21
Thank you x Infinity
I didn't know how much I needed to hear your story. It meant everything to me. I feel let of the hook in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your journey with the world.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Jonathan Sicard
- 06-26-23
Essential Read for OCD Relief & Understanding
Lily Bailey's experience is unique enough in the varied presentations of OCD to stand on its own. I think it's a seminal read for sufferers of covert obsessions and compulsions, or what is commonly referred to as "Pure OCD." Labelling aside, many people with OCD find that their symptoms are less obvious to those around them than the examples we often see in movies and on TV. Usually there is some kind of physical manifestation at some point or another, but often the disease can feel more mental, or ruminative. As it often traps its sufferers within their own minds, it can also tend to warp one's sense of identity into a twisted shape, and I believe Lily's story will help heal anyone who feels this kind of "identity OCD" presentation manifesting.
I also think friends and family of people with OCD could stand to gain a lot of perspective from a book such as this. It may be easier for some with the illness to introduce people to their struggles with this book as well.
I really love Lily's writing style. There is something desperate and dreamy in these words. Poetry sprinkles throughout the prose in a delicate, deliberate way, and may create pause in the listener as they take certain phrases in with their eyes closed, nodding and smiling. There are also times when the writing, as well as Bailey's humbling performance, brought me to tears. My experience of OCD is not unlike Ms. Bailey's in some ways. While Lily is not a professional voice actor, or narrator, her insights and experience come through in her voice more strongly felt than they otherwise could. There is also an interesting cultural element to this memoir, and a question to boot: What are the effects of posh British climate on a youth with OCD, and what if that youth were born common, only later to clamber to a higher class in life? What kind of complexes might that create? One could write a whole thesis on something like this.
In closing, Because We Are Bad is one of my favorite books, and probably my favorite book about OCD of all time. Definitely give it a listen.
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- Misha
- 10-02-21
Complex and intriguing
Really good listen. She's so complicated and interesting. And her voice is great, really good narration. It's worth your time.
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- Lou sillvester
- 07-21-22
This book makes me feel not alone
My jaw was on the floor the whole time! Highly recommend if you or someone you love has OCD.
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- O.
- 10-08-23
Very Surprised. Raw, Moving, Unique, True.
OCD has caused my mind to roll the rock of Sisyphus since I was 12 years old. Every OCD case is different, and Lily's is a great example of truth being stranger than fiction. People with this disorder have to *think manually*. You have to pull yourself out of long-term memory and re-sync with working memory, where the OCD "skips" occur.
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- Anonymous User
- 04-12-18
Amazing ! Candid, honest
This account of a girl’s experience with OCD is salve to anyone who is a patient or has OCD tendencies . It is comforting to hear first hand that bad thoughts happen and doesn’t mean you want to act on them . Means more coming from a person that has lived through it than from a professional just telling you it’s “the disease”
Really worthwhile book for families of patients also
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3 people found this helpful
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- Kaylamayla109
- 05-10-18
I'm grateful for this book
Listening to Lily Bailey read her story changed my life forever. Thank you so much Lily!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amy
- 04-08-20
Honest and powerful.
This is an accurately written account of what it’s like to have this kind of ocd. I was so grateful to read such a personal account of what I have called “bad person ocd.” I only know one other person that has this besides myself and I appreciated the honestly and her attention to detail that the author shares. I’ve suggested this book to the other person I know and I would suggest it to anyone who is connected to anyone with ocd. For me, I found strategies to be helpful in minimizing my own and I felt maybe the author might have touched more on them. Maybe they weren’t the most helpful part for her? Wonderful book! I’m so glad she wrote it and glad to have read it.
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- Jeffrey M. Phillips
- 05-12-18
really wonderful
it's probably strange to title this review as really wonderful. However, I have always had OCD as well, and this book just helps. what Miss Bailey has done here may just be bravely sharing her experience but that is so comforting if you've been through similar things so I'm thankful.
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2 people found this helpful