
The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy
Your Guide to Open Relationships, Polyamory and Letting Go
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Narrated by:
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Lola Phoenix
About this listen
'Invaluable' RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL
'Refreshingly honest, comprehensive and realistic' MEG-JOHN BARKER
Embarking on a non-monogamous relationship can be a daunting experience, opening old wounds that cause anxiety, fear and confusion, something Lola Phoenix knows about all too well.
In this all-you-need-to-know guide to exploring non-monogamy, polyamory and open relationships, Lola draws upon their years of experience in giving advice and being non-monogamous to provide guidance for every stage of your journey, helping you to prioritise your mental health and well being along the way.
Beginning with advice on starting out - such as finding your anchor, figuring out your personal reasons for pursuing non-monogamy, challenging your fears and practicing self-compassion - the book proceeds to cover the emotional aspects of non-monogamous relationships, including dealing with jealousy and judgement, managing anxiety and maintaining independence, as well as practical elements such as scheduling your time, negotiating boundaries and managing your expectations, all accompanied with activities for further exploration.
Whether you are new to non-monogamy, or have been non-monogamous for years, this insightful and empowering book will provide you with the emotional tools you will need to live a happy non-monogamous life.
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Story
When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Adam, he told her that he was looking for a committed partnership—just one that did not include monogamy. Intrigued and more than a little nervous, Krantz decided to see whether their love could coexist with the freedom to date other people. Could they strike an exquisite balance between intimacy and independence, and find a way to feel passion for each other once the honeymoon phase ended?
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I wrote this book
- By rachelkrantz on 02-05-22
By: Rachel Krantz
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Open Monogamy
- A Guide to Co-Creating Your Ideal Relationship Agreement
- By: Tammy Nelson PhD
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Open Monogamy is Dr. Nelson's guidebook for couples who wish to explore new directions in their relationships - to bring in excitement, variety, and fresh experiences without sacrificing trust, security, and respect. In this practical, skill-based book, she helps you find your place on the "monogamy continuum"; have honest conversations about attraction and desire; remove shame and suspicion from an open relationship; and create agreements - traditional or otherwise - that are fulfilling, exhilarating, and built for enduring love.
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People, listen: THIS is the book you need
- By KBgilly on 03-18-22
By: Tammy Nelson PhD
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Insatiable Wives
- Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them
- By: David J. Ley
- Narrated by: Rose Caraway
- Length: 12 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Long before the term cuckold was a common word thrown around in the media, Dr. Ley explored the history and science of cuckolding. This groundbreaking work explores why and how some men not only allow, but encourage, their wives to pursue sexual relationships with other men.
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Challenge your marriage
- By A.C.V. on 05-09-23
By: David J. Ley
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Jealousy Survival Guide
- How to Feel Safe, Happy and Secure in an Open Relationship
- By: Kitty Chambliss CPC ELI-MP
- Narrated by: Kitty Chambliss
- Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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In Jealousy Survival Guide, Kitty Chambliss does the homework for you and collects the best tidbits on life and emotions to give you inspiration and provide tools to gain and practice new skills. Combining her own life experience with these pearls of wisdom, Kitty focuses on jealousy in consensually non-monogamous relationships - what it is, how it expresses, and specific ways to manage it.
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Becoming a Better You
- By T Bisbee on 05-18-21
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Multiamory
- Essential Tools for Modern Relationships
- By: Emily Sotelo Matlack, Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren
- Narrated by: Emily Sotelo Matlack
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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When Multiamory authors Dedeker Winston, Emily Sotelo Matlack, and Jase Lindgren started producing their advice show about polyamory and other non-traditional relationships, they received dozens of questions from listeners about all sorts of relationship quandaries and communication stalemates. They quickly found out that existing relationship tools weren't up to the task.
By: Emily Sotelo Matlack, and others
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The Psychology of Human Sexuality
- By: Justin J. Lehmiller
- Narrated by: Daniel Henning
- Length: 24 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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The Psychology of Human Sexuality is a comprehensive guide to major theoretical perspectives on human sexuality and the vast diversity of sexual attitudes around the world, with topics including anatomy, gender and sexual orientation, sexual behaviors, sexual difficulties and solutions, sex work, and pornography. Written from a sex-positive perspective with material that is inclusive and respectful of a diverse audience, the text includes cutting edge research on the origins of sexual orientation and gender identity, as well as new treatments for sexually transmitted infections and diseases.
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Exceptionally Comprehensive!
- By Robert Cooper on 08-17-24
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The Jealousy Cure
- Learn to Trust, Overcome Possessiveness, and Save Your Relationship
- By: Robert L. Leahy, Paul Gilbert PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 7 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Jealousy Cure, renowned psychologist Robert L. Leahy takes a nuanced approach to tackling feelings of jealousy. In this compelling book, you’ll uncover the evolutionary origins of jealousy, and how and why it’s served to help us as a species. You’ll also learn practices based in emotional schema theory, cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, and mindfulness to help you overcome the shame jealousy can bring, improve communication with your partner, and ultimately make room for jealousy while also making your relationship more meaningful.
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Will change you life
- By Britt on 12-27-20
By: Robert L. Leahy, and others
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The Jealousy Workbook
- Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships
- By: Kathy Labriola
- Narrated by: Leanne Yau
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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From the initial stages of trying to agree who can do what with whom, through advanced issues such as coping with logistics and seeking compersion, every relationship sooner or later confronts jealousy - and some relationships do not survive the confrontation. In this book, you will find 42 supportive exercises, developed by a professional relationship counselor and refined by hundreds of clients trying to find their own paths through jealousy.
By: Kathy Labriola
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More: A Memoir of Open Marriage
- By: Molly Roden Winter
- Narrated by: Molly Roden Winter
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Molly Roden Winter was a mother of small children with a husband, Stewart, who often worked late. One night when Stewart missed the kids’ bedtime—again—she stormed out of the house to clear her head. At a bar, she met Matt, a flirtatious younger man. When Molly told her husband that Matt had asked her out, she was surprised that Stewart encouraged her to accept.
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engaging but contradictory
- By Eyal Goldshmid on 03-15-24
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Entwined
- Essays on Polyamory and Creating Home
- By: Alex Alberto
- Narrated by: Alex Alberto
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Entwined explores the fuzzy lines between friendship, romance, and family with various essay forms, including a play, an advice column, and a love letter. Rather than wallowing in the throes of jealousy, this collection celebrates the hard work, humor, and wisdom needed to create a love life that resists conventional narratives.
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vivid description of the moments of being poly
- By Gunner Crabb on 08-14-24
By: Alex Alberto
What listeners say about The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- MacFam
- 03-24-25
Love this focused intro to opening relationship options
Lola’s conclusion to the book just left the most beautiful taste in my mouth. I loved the way this book tackled so many of the different anxiety inducing aspects of trying on different relationship styles other than monogamy. But I also ADORED the perspective on monogamy and really, Lola did such a wonderful job covering so many potential perspectives and needs that I can’t imagine anyone would read this book and not take something positive away from it.
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- christina ridenour
- 01-23-25
how relevant that anxiety is more about self.
helped open my mind to how conditioned I was from society. that everything pushes a narrative to what society deems appropriate.
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- Anonymous User
- 03-25-25
Must-read for everyone
I firmly believe this one should be titles The human being guide's to human relations, period. I think Lola's advice will (should?) resonate with anyone and everyone trying to relate better to others and oneself. I'm so thankful for having stumbled upon her podcast and books. Can't get enough!
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- Jessica S.
- 09-22-24
good poly book
while the author could have demonstrated some credibility with relevant anecdotes, it is a good ENM resource
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- Ferrari
- 03-05-25
Excellent book
Intelligently written; helped tremendously in contemplating how to explore an alternative approach to relationships and love
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