The Art of Asking
How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help
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Narrated by:
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Amanda Palmer
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Ellen Archer
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Jamy Ian Swiss
About this listen
When we really see each other, we want to help each other."
—Amanda Palmer
Imagine standing on a box in the middle of a busy city, dressed as a white-faced bride, and silently using your eyes to ask people for money. Or touring Europe in a punk cabaret band and finding a place to sleep each night by reaching out to strangers on Twitter. For Amanda Palmer, actions like these have gone beyond satisfying her basic needs for food and shelter - they've taught her how to turn strangers into friends, build communities, and discover her own giving impulses. And because she had learned how to ask, she was able to go to the world to ask for the money to make a new album and tour with it, and to raise over a million dollars in a month.
In The Art of Asking, Palmer expands upon her popular TED talk to reveal how ordinary people, those of us without thousands of Twitter followers and adoring fans, can use these same principles in our own lives.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your My Library section along with the audio.
©2014 Amanda Palmer (P)2014 Hachette AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Let’s face it: we all want a seat at the cool table, a great job, and loads of money. But most of us won’t be able to achieve this widely accepted, black-or-white, definition of winning, which makes us feel like failures, that we’re destined to a life of loserdom. That’s the conventional wisdom. It’s also crap, according to comedian and cult hero Chris Gethard, who knows a thing of two about losing. Failing is an art form, he argues; in fact, it’s the only the way we’re ever going to discover who we are, what we really want, and how to live the kind of life we only dreamed about.
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WHAT A LOSER
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By: Chris Gethard
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Your Band Sucks
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- Narrated by: Jon Fine
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Jon Fine spent nearly 30 years performing and recording with bands that played various forms of aggressive and challenging underground rock music. And, as he writes in this memoir, at no point were any of those bands "ever threatened, even distantly, by actual fame". Yet when members of his first band, Bitch Magnet, reunited after 21 years to tour Europe, Asia, and America, diehard longtime fans traveled from far and wide to attend those shows.
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Life in a band-the ups, downs and truth!
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By: Jon Fine
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They Call Me Supermensch
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- By: Shep Gordon
- Narrated by: Shep Gordon
- Length: 9 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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In the course of his legendary career as a manager, an agent, and a producer, Shep Gordon has worked with and befriended some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry, from Alice Cooper to Bette Davis, Raquel Welch to Groucho Marx, Blondie to Jimi Hendrix, Sylvester Stallone to Salvador Dali, Luther Vandross to Teddy Pendergrass. He is also credited with inventing the "celebrity chef" and has worked with Nobu Matsuhisa, Emeril Lagasse, Wolfgang Puck, Roger Vergé, and many others.
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It's like he's never seen the words before
- By Joe F. on 11-01-17
By: Shep Gordon
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I'm the One That I Want
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- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
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By: Margaret Cho
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Challenge Accepted!
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- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
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Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
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Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
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By: Celeste Barber
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Digging Up Mother
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Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
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By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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The Todd Glass Situation
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Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
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Worth It
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By: Todd Glass, and others
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It Takes Two
- Our Story
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It Takes Two: Our Story shares never-before-revealed tales of the Scott brothers' childhood and rise to fame - from starting their first business at seven years old and their years modeling and acting to their first house purchase at the impressive young age of 18. They soon found their true passion in life, combining their natural gifts for entertaining with the skills they learned from buying, renovating, and selling homes.
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Not Worth the Time or $2.95
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By: Jonathan Scott, and others
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Bare Bones
- I'm Not Lonely If You're Reading This Book
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Growing up poor in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, with a young, addicted mom, Bobby Estell fell in love with country music. Abandoned by his father at the age of five, Bobby saw the radio as his way out - a dream that came true in college when he went on air at the Henderson State University campus station broadcasting as Bobby Bones while simultaneously starting The Bobby Bones Show at 105.9 KLAZ.
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A look inside the narcissist life of Bobby Bones.
- By Selena on 05-20-16
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
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I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends
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Complete with stories, tips, tricks, and advice from your favorite Bachelor alumni, and filled with all the juicy details Courtney fans and foes alike want to know, I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends is a must-listen for every member of Bachelor nation.
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I didn't come here to make friends
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By: Courtney Robertson, and others
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What listeners say about The Art of Asking
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Matthew
- 12-01-14
Love the book. Palmer reads and sings here!
What made the experience of listening to The Art of Asking the most enjoyable?
Amazing to hear Amanda Palmer read this to me, play music, sing her songs. The book is potentially life-altering without these additional courtesies ... with them, it's magic.
What was one of the most memorable moments of The Art of Asking?
The things that hurt, are sad, are powerful. In one example, someone claims to have lost her family in a disaster to get Amanda's attention. And her response, that it's a tragedy either way, is the wisest possible.
What about Amanda Palmer’s performance did you like?
It feels very real and immediate to me, not that I'm an expert on this -- I feel like we've been on a journey together. Palmer and I are different, and my life isn't, couldn't be, much like hers -- but I am inspired, grateful, and changed.
What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?
This book has so many things in it. I'll remember the way autobiography frames, and makes relevant, the citation of research. I'll remember the call to love and be loved, and admonition to ask for what I need, the advice that there isn't always a crowd who can hear and deliver on any given request.
Any additional comments?
The profanity in the book is not obnoxious, but it means I don't feel comfortable giving it to, for example, Mom.
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72 people found this helpful
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- Mark Mulvey
- 11-30-14
Worth it.
What did you love best about The Art of Asking?
.
If you’ve listened to books by Amanda Palmer and Brené Brown (foreword) before, how does this one compare?
N/A
Have you listened to any of Amanda Palmer’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
N/A
What did you learn from The Art of Asking that you would use in your daily life?
.
Any additional comments?
This book is not so much about the art of asking as it is about the author's life. That said, Amanda Palmer seems to live her life more interestingly, candidly, and intuitively than the rest of us so it's most likely worth your while regardless. I was not a Dresden Dolls fan or an Amanda Palmer fan before listening to the audiobook (though I had seen her TED talk), but her honesty and appetite for connection really impressed me. The audiobook also includes all kinds of musical stylings and interludes, so I recommend it over the print version.
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19 people found this helpful
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- Bart S.
- 12-28-14
And might I ask for more?
What did you love best about The Art of Asking?
The elaboration of the TED talk in general, without glossing over the ways in which it sometimes does not work out (because life happens or because people make mistakes). This book works on the level pondering new ways to make a creative living for yourself, but also tells the story of Amanda Palmer's life revolving around her career and vice versa.
Which character – as performed by Amanda Palmer – was your favorite?
Amanda's toned down but decidedly non-British imitation of Neil Gaiman. Wonderful.
What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?
Connection. It's all about connecting genuinely.
Any additional comments?
This was my favorite non-fiction book of the year. Considering this is the year Lena Dunham and Amy Poehler both also released books, I'm going to call that a victory for Amanda Palmer.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Leia
- 08-25-15
The Art Of Amanda Palmer's Love
If you could sum up The Art of Asking in three words, what would they be?
This book is a masterpiece of love, life and experiences of Amanda Palmer. There is no way to just sum up the book. You have to listen to it, read it, morse code it. Anything you can do to get this book in your life, do it.
What did you like best about this story?
The entire story is very open and raw in a way that no other memoir or biography has been able to grasp. It perfectly encompasses all I know Amanda Palmer to be and have experienced. Her soul lay bare while we turn the proverbial pages through her mind.
What does Amanda Palmer bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
Palmer spins a web of beauty with just a subtle tone of her voice. It really made me feel as though I were there listening to her trials and tribulations over her years only to come up with the fact that all you truly need in this world is love and asking for a bit of help when you need it.
What did you learn from The Art of Asking that you would use in your daily life?
I learned to slow down, be patient, enjoy the moment and always remember that it's okay to ask questions in life.
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- Kari Hasse
- 07-11-15
So real
I had never heard of Amanda Palmer before reading this book but gave it a chance because I am a huge Brene Brown fan. I stopped listening after the first hour because I didn't feel the relevance to the title ... Yet. Then, her tTed Talk appeared on my feed and I watched and listened with eagerness for more of her message. I have listened to this book over and over these last few months and have assimilated Amanda's heartfelt messages into my daily life. I've recommended her Ted Talk and this book to everyone I love and care about, even strangers. The message is huge and you'll be surprised at how your musical tastes will expand as well.
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- Becka Brisbin
- 03-16-20
Raw, honest, beautiful
I knew about the Dresden Dolls, but never got super into them. I first took real notice of Amanda after watching her Ted Talk. Her words resonated and I respected her, but I still never really listened to the music until last Summer when I took a friend to see her show in Seattle. It moved me in a way like nothing has for a very long time. Her performance was so real, so raw, so absolutely genuine. I knew she was addressing an audience, but in some ways it felt like she was talking to me, saying “your broken, it’s okay, it will get better if you let it”. It has helped me to heal in a profound way.
Then I finally started listening to the music, became a Patron, started to absorb the art community that she surrounds herself with. Not because I’m a fan, but because I respect her as a person, and because the community is helping me to open up and connect again.
I had a lot of friends tell me about this book, I’ve heard Amanda talk about it, but I’m not much of a reader these days. I haven’t really been for years, but decided maybe it was time to absorb it and did a search a few days ago. I was happy to see that not only was there an audio book, but it’s her voice that is telling her story. I couldn’t stop listening. I drove places early to sit in my car for an hour and keep listening. I absorbed.
In this is Amanda’s story, her humanity, her message of love and hope. Perfectly imperfect, embracing her flaws, her successes, her everything and again, sharing it so openly, so honestly, so raw...in an attempt to connect with anyone and everyone who is willing to embrace the broken human inside of them, who is also worthy of love and respect.
I found myself crying at moments unexpectedly, as she talked about her struggles with imposter syndrome and smiling and laughing with her as she shared strange but powerful moments of her life.
I honestly believe she is completely authentic and her own woman and I hope that when an opportunity comes to meet her face to face that she will be just as real, raw, and authentic as she presents herself in this book, on her stage, and in her community.
I’m so grateful she wrote this. If you’re trying to connect, give this book a shot in whatever format works best for you. Take some time to absorb it. Maybe it will help you to be kinder to yourself and to the world that circulates around you.
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- Dale Young
- 10-29-17
Good story, lousy audio
No problems with the story, good lessons, I had good insights. A little bit of crude language. My real problem with this was that the overall audio volume was way lower than other audio books. I could not hear this book in the car while driving with my bluetooth headset. Other audio books I've tried I've had no problem with this setup. I had to plug the phone into the car audio system, and crank up the volume to a very high level -- one that would blast me out of the car if I happened to change over to a local radio station.
My suspicion is that the overall volume is reasonable, because in a nice touch some of Amanda's songs were included in the audio. Now, these songs are LOUD. As in I could hear them through the BT headset just fine, maybe even too loud. I suspect that there is an automatic leveling option in play here somewhere, and it's trying to even out the spoken word and the LOUD songs. Not a good solution; neither one really works.
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- E. Angie Neer
- 07-07-15
Thought changing
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes - it enlightened me about the human spirit.
What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?
It has changed how I view freelance artists, and makes me think twice when I find myself refusing help.
Any additional comments?
Nice introduction to some good music too.
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- HellYeah
- 07-04-18
Not life changing, but enjoyable
I think I had very high expectations of this book from the description and other people’s reviews. I enjoyed listening to Amanda’s stories of a rock and roll lifestyle with harrowing amounts of trust and love. I don’t think it gave me anything on learning to ask. I do think it helped my ever growing curiosity to see what’s going on on the other side, what is this other person seeing and feeling, what is their story? It pushes you not to ask for what you need but maybe examine your relationships to other’s and your own insecurities. It was a fairly entertaining book, but not your typical guide to self improvement. If you want to learn something you will have to pull it from within yourself by being inspired by her stories. Don’t expect his book to guide you like a self help book.
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- Charlie D
- 02-10-18
Insightful open warmhearted
Amanda Palmer invites us into a new way of seeing each other and ourselves that goes beyond the boxes we make for ourselves.
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