The Blonde Dies First
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Narrated by:
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Joniece Abbott-Pratt
About this listen
A group of friends fight to choose their own fates in this trope-savvy, self-referential young adult thriller from the acclaimed author of Their Vicious Games, about a demonic force that acts according to horror movie rules in the spirit of the Scream movies.
Devon is always being left behind by her genius twin sister, Drew. At this point, it’s a fact of life. But Devon has one last plan before Drew leaves for college a whole year early—The Best Summer Ever. After committing to the bit a little too much, the twins and their chaotic circle of friends learn why you don’t ever mess with a Ouija board if you want to actually survive the Best Summer Ever, and soon find themselves being hunted down by…a demon?
But while there’s no mistaking the creeping, venomous figure is not from around here, their method doesn’t feel very demonic at all. In fact, it’s downright human—going after them in typical slasher movie kill order. And that means Devon, the blonde, is up first and her decade-long crush, Yaya, is the Final Girl who must kill or be killed to end the cycle.
Devon has never liked playing by anyone else’s rules though, not even a demon’s, and the longer this goes on, the more she feels Drew and Yaya slipping away from her even as she tries to help them all survive. Can they use their horror movie knowledge to flip the script and become the hunters instead of the hunted? Or will their best summer ever be their last?
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Story
There’s something in the lake at Wren Hall. At least, that’s what the locals say. Not that Meg cares much about the rumors. When she’s asked to spend Halloween weekend at the Ireland retreat of the wealthy Wren twins, she recognizes the invitation for exactly what it is: her last, and only, chance to save her spot at Greyscott’s, the exclusive British art school she attended on scholarship until last summer. Clever, beautiful, and talented, the twins are the pride of Greyscott’s, and kindhearted Lottie Wren was once Meg’s closest friend. But not anymore.
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Fun dark academia/paranormal vibes
- By Shannon M Wolz on 10-05-24
By: Amy Goldsmith
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Here Lies a Vengeful Bitch
- By: Codie Crowley
- Narrated by: Justis Bolding
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Annie Lane was murdered, but that won’t slow her down. The mountain her body was dumped on is legendary for raising the dead—so after waking up in the same frigid water that hides her corpse, Annie surges into her backwoods hometown hell-bent on revenge. The problem is, Annie can’t remember who killed her … and the list of people who might have wanted to isn’t exactly short. There’s her toxic mom, who spends her rare sober moments ripping Annie a new one. There’s her boss at the diner, who’s always been a little too friendly. And there’s her cheating ex and his creepy bandmates,.
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The story
- By Charity Gillean on 08-19-24
By: Codie Crowley
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Josh Winning
- Narrated by: EJ Lavery
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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After sitcom star Willow tweets herself into infamy and stumbles blind-drunk into a swimming pool, her agent ships her off to Camp Castaway. Nestled deep in upstate New York, Castaway is a summer camp for adults who are desperate to leave their mistakes behind. No real names, no phones . . . no way to call for help. Willow’s fellow campers seem okay. Her own favorite actress is even here, making a s’more. And did that jaded writer, Dani, just wink at her?
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Decent Horror Mixed with Social Commentary
- By KStateKev on 09-26-24
By: Josh Winning
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There's No Way I'd Die First
- By: Lisa Springer
- Narrated by: Nekia Renee Martin
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Noelle Layne knows horror. Every trope, every warning sign, every survival tactic. She even leads a successful movie club dedicated to the genre. Who better to throw the ultimate, most exclusive Halloween party on all of Long Island? With some of the top influencers in her school on the guest list, including gorgeous singer-songwriter Archer Mitchell, her popularity is bound to spike. She could really use the social boost for an upcoming brand expansion. Nothing is going to ruin this party. Except…maybe the low budget It clown she hired for a stirring round of tag.
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If you love gore, you are reading the right book!
- By Brittany R. on 01-22-24
By: Lisa Springer
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The Dark We Know
- By: Wen-Yi Lee
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in Slater, Isadora Chang never felt at ease in the repressive small town, even before she realized she was bisexual—but after the deaths of two childhood friends, Slater went from feeling claustrophobic to suffocating. So, Isa took off before the town could swallow her, too. Even though it meant leaving everything she knew behind, including her last surviving friend, Mason. When Isa’s abusive father dies, however, she agrees to come back from art school just long enough to collect the inheritance. But then Mason turns up at the cemetery with a revelation and a plea.
By: Wen-Yi Lee
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Such Charming Liars
- By: Karen M. McManus
- Narrated by: Skyler Gallun, Victoria Villarreal
- Length: 11 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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For all of Kat’s life, it’s just been her and her mother, Jamie—except for the forty-eight hours when Jamie was married and Kat had a stepbrother, Liam. That all ended in an epic divorce, and Kat and Liam haven’t spoken since. Now Jamie is a jewel thief trying to go straight, but she has one last job—at billionaire Ross Sutherland’s birthday party. And Kat has figured out a way to tag along. What Kat doesn’t know, though, is that there are two surprise guests at the dazzling Sutherland compound that weekend. The last two people she wants to run into.
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Different but AWESOME!!
- By Tedd R. Ellils on 10-22-24
By: Karen M. McManus
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I Will Never Leave You
- By: Kara A. Kennedy
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley
- Length: 9 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Maya has always belonged to Alana. After four years of dating, and on the precipice of graduating high school, Maya has been too terrified to consider the idea of life outside of their volatile relationship. Until she finds the courage to break up with Alana while they’re hiking in Southern California. Then Alana goes missing. As the police get involved and the media run wild with the story, everyone seems to think that Maya is lying about Alana’s disappearance. Secretly, Maya knows they’re right: if Alana’s dead, she’s the one to blame. But that’s not Maya’s only secret.
By: Kara A. Kennedy
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Delicious Monsters
- By: Liselle Sambury
- Narrated by: Sandra Okuboyejo, Angel Pean
- Length: 15 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Daisy sees dead people—something impossible to forget in bustling, ghost-packed Toronto. She usually manages to deal with her unwanted ability, but she’s completely unprepared to be dumped by her boyfriend. So when her mother inherits a secluded mansion in northern Ontario where she spent her childhood summers, Daisy jumps at the chance to escape. But the house is nothing like Daisy expects, and she begins to realize that her experience with the supernatural might be no match for her mother’s secrets, nor what lurks within these walls…
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Just what you need to hear
- By Autumn Ray on 04-04-23
By: Liselle Sambury
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Where Sleeping Girls Lie
- By: Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé
- Narrated by: Natalie Simpson
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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In Where Sleeping Girls Lie—a YA contemporary mystery by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, the New York Times-bestselling author of Ace of Spades—a girl new to boarding school discovers dark secrets and coverups after her roommate disappears.
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Twists
- By Benita on 11-21-24
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Tender Beasts
- By: Liselle Sambury
- Narrated by: Kimberly Woods
- Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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With the death of Sunny’s mother, matriarch of the wealthy Behre family, Sunny’s once picture-perfect life is thrown into turmoil. Her mother had groomed her to be the family’s next leader, so Sunny is confused when the only instructions her mother leaves is a mysterious note: “Take care of Dom.”
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Pacing + Detail
- By Nayo Jones on 11-09-24
By: Liselle Sambury
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So Witches We Became
- By: Jill Baguchinsky
- Narrated by: Jeremy Carlisle Parker, Kristin James
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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For high school senior Nell and her friends, a vacation house on a private Florida island sounds like the makings of a dream spring break. But Nell brings secrets with her—secrets that fuse with the island's tragic history, trapping them all with a curse that surrounds the island in a toxic, vengeful mist and the surrounding waters with an unseen, devouring beast. Getting out alive means risking her friendships, her sanity, and even her own life.
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The meaning behind the story is so strong and so many can relate.
- By Sarah on 09-05-24
By: Jill Baguchinsky
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You're Not Supposed to Die Tonight
- By: Kalynn Bayron
- Narrated by: Hewot Tedla
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Charity Curtis has the summer job of her dreams, playing the “final girl” at Camp Mirror Lake. Guests pay to be scared in this full-contact terror game, as Charity and her summer crew recreate scenes from a classic slasher film, Curse of Camp Mirror Lake. The more realistic the fear, the better for business. But the last weekend of the season, Charity’s co-workers begin disappearing. And when one ends up dead, Charity’s role as the final girl suddenly becomes all too real. If Charity and her girlfriend Bezi hope to survive the night, they’ll need figure out what this killer is after.
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Just wow!
- By Lavonya on 01-16-24
By: Kalynn Bayron
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Ace of Spades
- By: Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé
- Narrated by: Jeanette Illidge, Tapiwa Mugweni
- Length: 13 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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When two Niveus Private Academy students, Devon Richards and Chiamaka Adebayo, are selected to be part of the elite school’s senior class prefects, it looks like their year is off to an amazing start. After all, not only does it look great on college applications, but it officially puts each of them in the running for valedictorian, too. Shortly after the announcement is made, though, someone who goes by Aces begins using anonymous text messages to reveal secrets about the two of them that turn their lives upside down and threaten every aspect of their carefully planned futures.
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Not for me
- By Bee on 10-29-21
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This Ravenous Fate
- This Ravenous Fate, Book 1
- By: Hayley Dennings
- Narrated by: Tamika Katon-Donegal
- Length: 14 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s 1926, and reapers are growing stronger everywhere. Created centuries ago by cruel medical experiments, these once-human vampires are driven to attack without mercy. Those who protect the city from them hold more power than even the organized criminals who run the nightclubs. As the reluctant heir to her father’s reaper-hunting empire, Elise Saint knows that the Harlem reapers want her dead. Among them is Layla Quinn, who lost her parents, the protection of the Saints, and her humanity the night she was turned into a reaper. And she’ll never forget how Elise Saint betrayed her.
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Wow!!!
- By Nash Reads on 10-13-24
By: Hayley Dennings
What listeners say about The Blonde Dies First
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- BookedNBougie
- 09-19-24
Wow, Joelle does it again!!
Loved this fast paced, dynamic, YA homage to slasher films. It kept me on the edge of my seat & i didn’t want to put it down. The dynamics between the friend group were well developed & their banter was stellar.
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- Juno
- 10-23-24
Good book but pretty predictable
I enjoyed the modern commentary but the horror story within was predictable to horror fans.
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- Anonymous User
- 10-19-24
Great read
Loved this book. It was an easy read and I was hooked once I started.
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- Danniv83
- 08-11-24
Fun, Nostalgic & Clever
I don’t know bout you but being an adult reader in the YA world hits different. This story was just such a fun dive into old school horror elements but with much of today’s quirks. You felt as if you had each one of these kinds of friends growing up. Narration was great and the story had me guessing.
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