The Blonde Dies First
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Narrated by:
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Joniece Abbott-Pratt
About this listen
A group of friends fight to choose their own fates in this trope-savvy, self-referential young adult thriller from the acclaimed author of Their Vicious Games, about a demonic force that acts according to horror movie rules in the spirit of the Scream movies.
Devon is always being left behind by her genius twin sister, Drew. At this point, it’s a fact of life. But Devon has one last plan before Drew leaves for college a whole year early—The Best Summer Ever. After committing to the bit a little too much, the twins and their chaotic circle of friends learn why you don’t ever mess with a Ouija board if you want to actually survive the Best Summer Ever, and soon find themselves being hunted down by…a demon?
But while there’s no mistaking the creeping, venomous figure is not from around here, their method doesn’t feel very demonic at all. In fact, it’s downright human—going after them in typical slasher movie kill order. And that means Devon, the blonde, is up first and her decade-long crush, Yaya, is the Final Girl who must kill or be killed to end the cycle.
Devon has never liked playing by anyone else’s rules though, not even a demon’s, and the longer this goes on, the more she feels Drew and Yaya slipping away from her even as she tries to help them all survive. Can they use their horror movie knowledge to flip the script and become the hunters instead of the hunted? Or will their best summer ever be their last?
©2024 Joelle Wellington (P)2024 Simon & Schuster AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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The story
- By Charity Gillean on 08-19-24
By: Codie Crowley
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You're Not Supposed to Die Tonight
- By: Kalynn Bayron
- Narrated by: Hewot Tedla
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Charity Curtis has the summer job of her dreams, playing the “final girl” at Camp Mirror Lake. Guests pay to be scared in this full-contact terror game, as Charity and her summer crew recreate scenes from a classic slasher film, Curse of Camp Mirror Lake. The more realistic the fear, the better for business. But the last weekend of the season, Charity’s co-workers begin disappearing. And when one ends up dead, Charity’s role as the final girl suddenly becomes all too real. If Charity and her girlfriend Bezi hope to survive the night, they’ll need figure out what this killer is after.
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Just wow!
- By Lavonya on 01-16-24
By: Kalynn Bayron
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The Poisons We Drink
- By: Bethany Baptiste
- Narrated by: Lynnette R. Freeman
- Length: 16 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In a country divided between humans and witchers, Venus Stoneheart hustles as a brewer making illegal love potions to support her family. Love potions is a dangerous business. Brewing has painful, debilitating side effects, and getting caught means death or a prison sentence. But what Venus is most afraid of is the dark, sentient magic within her. Then an enemy's iron bullet kills her mother, Venus's life implodes. When the powerful Grand Witcher, the ruthless head of her coven, offers Venus the chance to punish her mother's killer, she has to pay a steep price for revenge.
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enjoyable
- By Emm Muk on 05-12-24
By: Bethany Baptiste
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There's No Way I'd Die First
- By: Lisa Springer
- Narrated by: Nekia Renee Martin
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Noelle Layne knows horror. Every trope, every warning sign, every survival tactic. She even leads a successful movie club dedicated to the genre. Who better to throw the ultimate, most exclusive Halloween party on all of Long Island? With some of the top influencers in her school on the guest list, including gorgeous singer-songwriter Archer Mitchell, her popularity is bound to spike. She could really use the social boost for an upcoming brand expansion. Nothing is going to ruin this party.
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Awesome
- By K. D. on 09-23-23
By: Lisa Springer
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The Dark We Know
- By: Wen-Yi Lee
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in Slater, Isadora Chang never felt at ease in the repressive small town, even before she realized she was bisexual—but after the deaths of two childhood friends, Slater went from feeling claustrophobic to suffocating. So, Isa took off before the town could swallow her, too. Even though it meant leaving everything she knew behind, including her last surviving friend, Mason. When Isa’s abusive father dies, however, she agrees to come back from art school just long enough to collect the inheritance. But then Mason turns up at the cemetery with a revelation and a plea.
By: Wen-Yi Lee
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Ace of Spades
- By: Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé
- Narrated by: Jeanette Illidge, Tapiwa Mugweni
- Length: 13 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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When two Niveus Private Academy students, Devon Richards and Chiamaka Adebayo, are selected to be part of the elite school’s senior class prefects, it looks like their year is off to an amazing start. After all, not only does it look great on college applications, but it officially puts each of them in the running for valedictorian, too. Shortly after the announcement is made, though, someone who goes by Aces begins using anonymous text messages to reveal secrets about the two of them that turn their lives upside down and threaten every aspect of their carefully planned futures.
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Not for me
- By Bee on 10-29-21
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So Witches We Became
- By: Jill Baguchinsky
- Narrated by: Jeremy Carlisle Parker, Kristin James
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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For high school senior Nell and her friends, a vacation house on a private Florida island sounds like the makings of a dream spring break. But Nell brings secrets with her—secrets that fuse with the island's tragic history, trapping them all with a curse that surrounds the island in a toxic, vengeful mist and the surrounding waters with an unseen, devouring beast. Getting out alive means risking her friendships, her sanity, and even her own life.
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The meaning behind the story is so strong and so many can relate.
- By Sarah on 09-05-24
By: Jill Baguchinsky
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Delicious Monsters
- By: Liselle Sambury
- Narrated by: Sandra Okuboyejo, Angel Pean
- Length: 15 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Daisy sees dead people—something impossible to forget in bustling, ghost-packed Toronto. She usually manages to deal with her unwanted ability, but she’s completely unprepared to be dumped by her boyfriend. So when her mother inherits a secluded mansion in northern Ontario where she spent her childhood summers, Daisy jumps at the chance to escape. But the house is nothing like Daisy expects, and she begins to realize that her experience with the supernatural might be no match for her mother’s secrets, nor what lurks within these walls…
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Just what you need to hear
- By Autumn Ray on 04-04-23
By: Liselle Sambury
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Josh Winning
- Narrated by: EJ Lavery
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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After sitcom star Willow tweets herself into infamy and stumbles blind-drunk into a swimming pool, her agent ships her off to Camp Castaway. Nestled deep in upstate New York, Castaway is a summer camp for adults who are desperate to leave their mistakes behind. No real names, no phones . . . no way to call for help. Willow’s fellow campers seem okay. Her own favorite actress is even here, making a s’more. And did that jaded writer, Dani, just wink at her?
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Excellent Narration
- By Anonymous User on 11-24-24
By: Josh Winning
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Where Sleeping Girls Lie
- By: Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé
- Narrated by: Natalie Simpson
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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In Where Sleeping Girls Lie—a YA contemporary mystery by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, the New York Times-bestselling author of Ace of Spades—a girl new to boarding school discovers dark secrets and coverups after her roommate disappears.
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Great narration slow and sometimes boring
- By Christina Smith on 12-13-24
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Love Requires Chocolate
- Love in Translation
- By: Ravynn K. Stringfield
- Narrated by: Jade Wheeler
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Whitney Curry is primed to have an epic semester abroad. She’s created the perfect itinerary and many, many to-do lists after collecting every detail possible about Paris, France. Thus, she anticipates a grand adventure filled with vintage boutiques, her idol Josephine Baker’s old stomping grounds, and endless plays sure to inspire the ones she writes and—ahem—directs! But all is not as she imagined when she’s dropped off at her prestigious new Parisian lycée.
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a lovely, gentle romance
- By Adrienne Williams on 09-08-24
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Blood Like Magic
- By: Liselle Sambury
- Narrated by: Joniece Abbott-Pratt
- Length: 16 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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A rich, dark urban fantasy debut following a teen witch who is given a horrifying task: sacrificing her first love to save her family’s magic. The problem is, she’s never been in love - she’ll have to find the perfect guy before she can kill him.
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Message: Morality is a myth & Balance is essential
- By Timisha on 01-07-22
By: Liselle Sambury
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Blood Scion
- By: Deborah Falaye
- Narrated by: Liz Femi
- Length: 15 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Fifteen-year-old Sloane can incinerate an enemy at will—she is a Scion, a descendant of the ancient Orisha gods. Under the Lucis’ brutal rule, her identity means her death if her powers are discovered. But when she is forcibly conscripted into the Lucis army on her 15th birthday, Sloane sees a new opportunity: to overcome the bloody challenges of Lucis training, and destroy them from within.
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The whole book took place over a month.
- By A.C. on 04-24-22
By: Deborah Falaye
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Four Eids and a Funeral
- By: Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Adiba Jaigirdar
- Narrated by: Farah Kidwai, Sandra Okuboyejo, Shahjehan Khan
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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These days, Said Hossain spends most of his time away at boarding school. But when his favorite hometown librarian Ms. Barnes dies, he must return home to New Crosshaven for her funeral and for the summer. Too bad being home makes it a lot harder to avoid facing his ex-best friend, Tiwa Olatunji, or facing the daunting task of telling his Bangladeshi parents that he would rather be an artist than a doctor.
By: Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, and others
What listeners say about The Blonde Dies First
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- BookedNBougie
- 09-19-24
Wow, Joelle does it again!!
Loved this fast paced, dynamic, YA homage to slasher films. It kept me on the edge of my seat & i didn’t want to put it down. The dynamics between the friend group were well developed & their banter was stellar.
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- Juno
- 10-23-24
Good book but pretty predictable
I enjoyed the modern commentary but the horror story within was predictable to horror fans.
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- Bria
- 10-19-24
Great read
Loved this book. It was an easy read and I was hooked once I started.
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- Danniv83
- 08-11-24
Fun, Nostalgic & Clever
I don’t know bout you but being an adult reader in the YA world hits different. This story was just such a fun dive into old school horror elements but with much of today’s quirks. You felt as if you had each one of these kinds of friends growing up. Narration was great and the story had me guessing.
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