The Blonde Dies First
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Narrated by:
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Joniece Abbott-Pratt
About this listen
A group of friends fight to choose their own fates in this trope-savvy, self-referential young adult thriller from the acclaimed author of Their Vicious Games, about a demonic force that acts according to horror movie rules in the spirit of the Scream movies.
Devon is always being left behind by her genius twin sister, Drew. At this point, it’s a fact of life. But Devon has one last plan before Drew leaves for college a whole year early—The Best Summer Ever. After committing to the bit a little too much, the twins and their chaotic circle of friends learn why you don’t ever mess with a Ouija board if you want to actually survive the Best Summer Ever, and soon find themselves being hunted down by…a demon?
But while there’s no mistaking the creeping, venomous figure is not from around here, their method doesn’t feel very demonic at all. In fact, it’s downright human—going after them in typical slasher movie kill order. And that means Devon, the blonde, is up first and her decade-long crush, Yaya, is the Final Girl who must kill or be killed to end the cycle.
Devon has never liked playing by anyone else’s rules though, not even a demon’s, and the longer this goes on, the more she feels Drew and Yaya slipping away from her even as she tries to help them all survive. Can they use their horror movie knowledge to flip the script and become the hunters instead of the hunted? Or will their best summer ever be their last?
©2024 Joelle Wellington (P)2024 Simon & Schuster AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Out of Body
- By: Nia Davenport
- Narrated by: Karen Malina White
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Megan Allen has been jumping from friend group to friend group in her high school, trying on identities like outfits. Nothing ever seems to fit—until she meets LC, the adventurous, charismatic girl who appears at her favorite coffee shop one day like magic. Finally, Megan feels like she’s becoming the person she’s meant to be: someone like LC. On the night of their friendiversary, what was supposed to be a bonding experience ends in a waking nightmare. Suddenly, Megan is no longer herself. Too late, she realizes that LC has secrets—dangerous ones.
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wow
- By Zee on 12-11-24
By: Nia Davenport
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You're Not Supposed to Die Tonight
- By: Kalynn Bayron
- Narrated by: Hewot Tedla
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Charity Curtis has the summer job of her dreams, playing the “final girl” at Camp Mirror Lake. Guests pay to be scared in this full-contact terror game, as Charity and her summer crew recreate scenes from a classic slasher film, Curse of Camp Mirror Lake. The more realistic the fear, the better for business. But the last weekend of the season, Charity’s co-workers begin disappearing. And when one ends up dead, Charity’s role as the final girl suddenly becomes all too real. If Charity and her girlfriend Bezi hope to survive the night, they’ll need figure out what this killer is after.
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There's a twist that I was not expecting!!
- By FelicaReads on 07-03-24
By: Kalynn Bayron
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Your Lonely Nights Are Over
- By: Adam Sass
- Narrated by: Mark Sanderlin, Griffin Puatu, Torian Brackett
- Length: 9 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Dearie and Cole are inseparable, unlikeable, and (in bad luck for them) totally unbelievable. From the day they met, Dearie and Cole have been two against the world. But whenever something bad happens at Stone Grove High School, they get blamed. Why? They’re beautiful, flirtatious, dangerously clever queen bees, and they’re always ready to call out their fellow students. But they’ve never faced a bigger threat than surviving senior year, when Mr. Sandman, a famous, never-caught serial killer emerges from a long retirement—and his hunting ground is their school Queer Club.
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Amazing depiction of teen friendship
- By Anonymous User on 11-05-24
By: Adam Sass
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There's No Way I'd Die First
- By: Lisa Springer
- Narrated by: Nekia Renee Martin
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Noelle Layne knows horror. Every trope, every warning sign, every survival tactic. She even leads a successful movie club dedicated to the genre. Who better to throw the ultimate, most exclusive Halloween party on all of Long Island? With some of the top influencers in her school on the guest list, including gorgeous singer-songwriter Archer Mitchell, her popularity is bound to spike. She could really use the social boost for an upcoming brand expansion. Nothing is going to ruin this party.
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Awesome
- By K. D. on 09-23-23
By: Lisa Springer
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Heads Will Roll
- By: Josh Winning
- Narrated by: EJ Lavery
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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After sitcom star Willow tweets herself into infamy and stumbles blind-drunk into a swimming pool, her agent ships her off to Camp Castaway. Nestled deep in upstate New York, Castaway is a summer camp for adults who are desperate to leave their mistakes behind. No real names, no phones . . . no way to call for help. Willow’s fellow campers seem okay. Her own favorite actress is even here, making a s’more. And did that jaded writer, Dani, just wink at her?
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Excellent Narration
- By Anonymous User on 11-24-24
By: Josh Winning
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The Poisons We Drink
- By: Bethany Baptiste
- Narrated by: Lynnette R. Freeman
- Length: 16 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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In a country divided between humans and witchers, Venus Stoneheart hustles as a brewer making illegal love potions to support her family. Love potions is a dangerous business. Brewing has painful, debilitating side effects, and getting caught means death or a prison sentence. But what Venus is most afraid of is the dark, sentient magic within her. Then an enemy's iron bullet kills her mother, Venus's life implodes. When the powerful Grand Witcher, the ruthless head of her coven, offers Venus the chance to punish her mother's killer, she has to pay a steep price for revenge.
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enjoyable
- By Emm Muk on 05-12-24
By: Bethany Baptiste
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Where Sleeping Girls Lie
- By: Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé
- Narrated by: Natalie Simpson
- Length: 16 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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In Where Sleeping Girls Lie—a YA contemporary mystery by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, the New York Times-bestselling author of Ace of Spades—a girl new to boarding school discovers dark secrets and coverups after her roommate disappears.
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Great narration slow and sometimes boring
- By Christina Smith on 12-13-24
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So Witches We Became
- By: Jill Baguchinsky
- Narrated by: Jeremy Carlisle Parker, Kristin James
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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For high school senior Nell and her friends, a vacation house on a private Florida island sounds like the makings of a dream spring break. But Nell brings secrets with her—secrets that fuse with the island's tragic history, trapping them all with a curse that surrounds the island in a toxic, vengeful mist and the surrounding waters with an unseen, devouring beast. Getting out alive means risking her friendships, her sanity, and even her own life.
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The meaning behind the story is so strong and so many can relate.
- By Sarah on 09-05-24
By: Jill Baguchinsky
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The Dark We Know
- By: Wen-Yi Lee
- Narrated by: Natalie Naudus
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in Slater, Isadora Chang never felt at ease in the repressive small town, even before she realized she was bisexual—but after the deaths of two childhood friends, Slater went from feeling claustrophobic to suffocating. So, Isa took off before the town could swallow her, too. Even though it meant leaving everything she knew behind, including her last surviving friend, Mason. When Isa’s abusive father dies, however, she agrees to come back from art school just long enough to collect the inheritance. But then Mason turns up at the cemetery with a revelation and a plea.
By: Wen-Yi Lee
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Clown in a Cornfield
- By: Adam Cesare
- Narrated by: Jesse Vilinsky
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Quinn Maybrook and her father have moved to tiny, boring Kettle Springs, to find a fresh start. But what they don’t know is that ever since the Baypen Corn Syrup Factory shut down, Kettle Springs has cracked in half. On one side are the adults, who are desperate to make Kettle Springs great again, and on the other are the kids, who want to have fun, make prank videos, and get out of Kettle Springs as quick as they can.
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Bad Narrator
- By Amazon Customer on 08-26-20
By: Adam Cesare
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Ace of Spades
- By: Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé
- Narrated by: Jeanette Illidge, Tapiwa Mugweni
- Length: 13 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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When two Niveus Private Academy students, Devon Richards and Chiamaka Adebayo, are selected to be part of the elite school’s senior class prefects, it looks like their year is off to an amazing start. After all, not only does it look great on college applications, but it officially puts each of them in the running for valedictorian, too. Shortly after the announcement is made, though, someone who goes by Aces begins using anonymous text messages to reveal secrets about the two of them that turn their lives upside down and threaten every aspect of their carefully planned futures.
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Not for me
- By Bee on 10-29-21
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Four Eids and a Funeral
- By: Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, Adiba Jaigirdar
- Narrated by: Farah Kidwai, Sandra Okuboyejo, Shahjehan Khan
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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These days, Said Hossain spends most of his time away at boarding school. But when his favorite hometown librarian Ms. Barnes dies, he must return home to New Crosshaven for her funeral and for the summer. Too bad being home makes it a lot harder to avoid facing his ex-best friend, Tiwa Olatunji, or facing the daunting task of telling his Bangladeshi parents that he would rather be an artist than a doctor.
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The subtle flirting before they were together
- By Anonymous User on 01-06-25
By: Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé, and others
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Such Lovely Skin
- By: Tatiana Schlote-Bonne
- Narrated by: Chandler Gregoire
- Length: 7 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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After spending the summer wracked with guilt about causing the accident that killed her little sister, ambitious gamer and chronic liar Viv returns to Twitch streaming. She never told her parents the truth about the accident, but she hopes that maybe making it big in streaming and giving the money to them is penance enough for her mistakes.
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Tense, insightful young-adult horror story.
- By Michael Kitchin on 11-11-24
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Love Requires Chocolate
- Love in Translation
- By: Ravynn K. Stringfield
- Narrated by: Jade Wheeler
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Whitney Curry is primed to have an epic semester abroad. She’s created the perfect itinerary and many, many to-do lists after collecting every detail possible about Paris, France. Thus, she anticipates a grand adventure filled with vintage boutiques, her idol Josephine Baker’s old stomping grounds, and endless plays sure to inspire the ones she writes and—ahem—directs! But all is not as she imagined when she’s dropped off at her prestigious new Parisian lycée.
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a lovely, gentle romance
- By Adrienne Williams on 09-08-24
What listeners say about The Blonde Dies First
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- BookedNBougie
- 09-19-24
Wow, Joelle does it again!!
Loved this fast paced, dynamic, YA homage to slasher films. It kept me on the edge of my seat & i didn’t want to put it down. The dynamics between the friend group were well developed & their banter was stellar.
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- Bria
- 10-19-24
Great read
Loved this book. It was an easy read and I was hooked once I started.
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- Danniv83
- 08-11-24
Fun, Nostalgic & Clever
I don’t know bout you but being an adult reader in the YA world hits different. This story was just such a fun dive into old school horror elements but with much of today’s quirks. You felt as if you had each one of these kinds of friends growing up. Narration was great and the story had me guessing.
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- Juno
- 10-23-24
Good book but pretty predictable
I enjoyed the modern commentary but the horror story within was predictable to horror fans.
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