In a steel-and-lead-encased bunker 20 feet below the basement level of his house, a soldier waits for his final orders. On the surface, a plague ravages the planet, infecting over 90% of the populace. The bacterium burrows through the brain, destroying all signs of humanity and leaving behind little more than base, prehistoric instincts. The infected turn into hyper-aggressive predators, with an insatiable desire to kill and feed. Someday soon, the soldier will have to open the hatch to his bunker, and step out into this new wasteland, to complete his mission....

Trying to escape a lifetime of regrets—and outrun his own demons—veteran soldier Lochled Thatcher embarks on the Fourth Crusade to Leftland, a country rich in magic. Desperate to save her brothers, Rony joins Lochled’s squad only to discover that war is very different from all the songs and fancy speeches. As politics and power clash, Kayna, a Seeker, and Ord, a priest of the Church of Alchemy, find their foundations of loyalty and faith shaken and crumbling. In this theater of chaos, magic, and treachery, soldier and priest alike will find their humanity in as much danger as their lives.

Santa's helpers don't always dispose of bodies, but that's what Tucker Smith is doing right now. Specifically, the body of his own Santa - one of thousands worldwide - who was just murdered in an apparent random act of violence. Now, Tucker will have to somehow manage to deliver Christmas to his assigned region while he struggles to patch things up with his family, all while training the replacement sent to him by The Organization and trying to uncover the mystery of who killed Santa. And there's only five days left until Christmas.

Ten years after the collapse, Huxley has built a good life again. He has a loving wife, a farm with fields of golden barley, and a daughter with a strange and wonderful gift. Then the slavers come. Working out in the fields during the attack, Huxley returns too late. His daughter has been taken, and his wife is bleeding out, her last whispered words about a man with a scorpion tattoo on his neck. Where do the slavers go? Huxley has no idea. He knows only that they head east, and so will he, setting out on foot across the desert of the Wastelands.

Two young boys set off for the Rocky River Bridge through their war-torn North Carolina hometown, both with something to prove - an adventure that will quickly teach them the realities of the raging world around them, in this prequel to DJ Molles' newest novel: The Purge of District 89.

The problems in Dirk Cooper's life were ghosts, money and the Mob. The solution was real estate. Join notable hobo Dirk Cooper as he lies, cheats and steals his way through life, desperate to recover the things he lost during the housing crash of 2008. When he is approached by a wealthy and powerful man with haunted houses to sell, Dirk thinks his troubles are over. Things are not as they seemed, however, and soon he is caught up in a web of dark magic and danger the likes of which he has never encountered before.

In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.

Aubrey St. James is in trouble. She's locked in a cell at a government black site. She doesn't know where that site is or how the hell she got there. But she knows that it has something to do with the stranger she rescued from the river. Someone - or some thing - called Johnny.

After the arrival of the multiversal monopoly BuyMort, life got brutal. All systems were through BuyMort. All currency was through BuyMort. All sales were through BuyMort. You could resist, you could compete, but it didn’t really matter because in the end you used BuyMort—or you perished. BuyMort be praised. But not everyone’s happy with the new system. Some, even, want to see it destroyed. It’s quick. It’s convenient. And it will help people kill you and your family as readily as it will help them sell you knickknacks for a quick mortie.

Katmai National Park: 7,000 square miles of rugged, isolated wilderness in southern Alaska. Vast stretches of frozen tundra, deep ancient forests, and impassable ravines ruled by the massive volcanic God, Devil's Desk. Despite the vigorous protests of Michael, the Talbots and the Tynes head to the park for a much-needed vacation away from it all.

Ezra Barker is a traitor. When the Merg invaded Earth, he didn’t fight or even hide. He cooperated, helping them as they seized control of the planet and began their pillaging of its resources. While others toil away in mines and quarries, Ezra works an office job, helping his boss, The Senator, rule over the swath of territory given to her by the Merg. Sergeant Hayes is a brutal enforcer of the Merg’s rules. As an officer in the Health and Safety Department, he follows Merg orders, arresting, interrogating, and executing at their command.

More than two centuries after World War III poisoned the planet, the final bastion of humanity lives on massive airships circling the globe in search of a habitable area to call home. Aging and outdated, most of the ships plummeted back to Earth long ago. The only thing keeping the two surviving lifeboats in the sky are Hell Divers - men and women who risk their lives by skydiving to the surface to scavenge for parts the ships desperately need.

Ranger Quinn thought that morning would be like so many others. A hangover, a day off before going back to work keeping the lower levels of Zion City safe from itself. But a crime so horrific, so brutal in its execution, turns those mundane expectations around. An investigation into the death of a senior leader in their underground utopia safe from the harsh radioactive wastelands beyond their walls forces Quinn beyond that safety and into the world outside.

Contains volumes one and two of the Arisen: Raiders series: Two teams of pipe-hitting special-operations Marines left to die in the fall of North America. One nuclear supercarrier strike group; humanity's last best hope for survival. And seven billion ravening dead guys, rampaging across an overrun planet. For the JFK strike group and its MARSOC guardians, two years of the horrors and glories of Zulu Alpha on the high seas and the fallen world's ports and coasts. Now, their story will finally be told.

Across the world, the United States recalls troops to combat civil unrest after the biggest economic meltdown in history. Marine Sergeant Ronaldo Salvatore’s platoon comes home to a powder keg that could ignite a civil war. While some see the coming collapse as the end, others see opportunity. Fleeing Naples after rival crime lords decimated his family, Don Antonio Moretti settles in Los Angeles to rebuild his criminal empire. But he is far from alone in his ambitions.

Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?

In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.

A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).

Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).

Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.

Jenna Jones, former It-girl fashion editor, is broke and desperate for a second chance. When she’s dumped by her longtime fiancé and fired from Darling magazine, she begs for a job from her old arch nemesis, Darcy Vale. The beyond-bitchy publisher of StyleZine.com, Darcy agrees to hire her rival - only because her fashion site needs a jolt from Jenna’s old school cred. But Jenna soon realizes she’s in over her head.

Patrick Bateman moves among the young and trendy in 1980s Manhattan. Young, handsome, and well educated, Bateman earns his fortune on Wall Street by day while spending his nights in ways we cannot begin to fathom. Expressing his true self through torture and murder, Bateman prefigures an apocalyptic horror that no society could bear to confront.

He is one of the longest-running cast members on Saturday Night Live, an American comedy genius renowned for his spot-on sendups of politicians and celebrities. But off-stage, Darrell Hammond’s life was anything but a joke. In CRAY, a special audio performance captured live onstage at Audible’s Minetta Lane Theatre, Hammond brings to life his acclaimed memoir, God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F*cked: Tales of Stand-Up, Saturday Night Live and Other Mind-Altering Mayhem.

Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.

Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.

In a steel-and-lead-encased bunker 20 feet below the basement level of his house, a soldier waits for his final orders. On the surface, a plague ravages the planet, infecting over 90% of the populace. The bacterium burrows through the brain, destroying all signs of humanity and leaving behind little more than base, prehistoric instincts. The infected turn into hyper-aggressive predators, with an insatiable desire to kill and feed. Someday soon, the soldier will have to open the hatch to his bunker, and step out into this new wasteland, to complete his mission....

Trying to escape a lifetime of regrets—and outrun his own demons—veteran soldier Lochled Thatcher embarks on the Fourth Crusade to Leftland, a country rich in magic. Desperate to save her brothers, Rony joins Lochled’s squad only to discover that war is very different from all the songs and fancy speeches. As politics and power clash, Kayna, a Seeker, and Ord, a priest of the Church of Alchemy, find their foundations of loyalty and faith shaken and crumbling. In this theater of chaos, magic, and treachery, soldier and priest alike will find their humanity in as much danger as their lives.

Ten years after the collapse, Huxley has built a good life again. He has a loving wife, a farm with fields of golden barley, and a daughter with a strange and wonderful gift. Then the slavers come. Working out in the fields during the attack, Huxley returns too late. His daughter has been taken, and his wife is bleeding out, her last whispered words about a man with a scorpion tattoo on his neck. Where do the slavers go? Huxley has no idea. He knows only that they head east, and so will he, setting out on foot across the desert of the Wastelands.

It’s 1918 in German-occupied Bruges, Belgium. With luck, Evelien will make it to the end of the war and be given what she was promised: a prized painting in exchange for safeguarding her employer’s possessions. Until then, Evelien knows to keep her head down and stay out of trouble. But life never goes to plan, especially in war. A member of the Resistance approaches Evelien: steal a list of names hidden in her employer’s home.

In the serene backdrop of New Hampshire's Franconia Notch, Micah Taylor, an ex-Army Ranger, finds solace with his loyal golden retriever, Grover. Their peaceful existence is suddenly shattered when a first date with his old friend, Jess Bender, takes an unexpected turn. Bright lights descend from the sky, leading them into the dark woods and a shocking discovery: the Kylonari, an advanced alien species with a special connection to Micah, here on a quest to find "The Lost Tribe"—a colony that vanished millennia ago.