Preview
  • The Brentford Chainstore Massacre

  • Brentford Trilogy, Book 5
  • By: Robert Rankin
  • Narrated by: Robert Rankin
  • Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (31 ratings)

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The Brentford Chainstore Massacre

By: Robert Rankin
Narrated by: Robert Rankin
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Publisher's summary

There is nothing more powerful than a bad idea whose time has come. And there can be few ideas less bad or more potentially apocalyptic than that hatched by genetic scientist Dr Stephen Malone. Using DNA strands extracted from the dried blood on the Turin Shroud, Dr Malone is cloning Jesus. And not just a single Jesus, he's going for a full half-dozen so that each of the world's major religions can have one. It's a really bad idea.

In Brentford they've had a really good idea. They're holding the Millennial Celebrations two years early to avoid the rush. It's a tradition, or an old charter, or something. And it promises to be the party of this, or any other, century. Unless, of course, something really bad was to happen...

Robert Rankin describes himself as a teller of tall tales. The Morning Star describes him as 'The Master of Silliness', and his publisher describes him as The Master of Far Fetched Fiction. He is the author of more than thirty novels, of which he has sold millions of copies, and he makes people laugh around the world. Robert loves going on tour, signing books for readers, and his appearances at signings and conventions are legendary, often including a stand-up routine, a song (accompanied by his 'air-ukulele'), and an always-entertaining question-and-answer session.

©1997 Robert Rankin (P)2013 Audible Ltd
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Editorial reviews

Robert Rankin’s performance of his novel The Brentford Chainstore Massacre once again highlights his gift for comic characterizations and his mastery of British dialect.

This installment of the Brentford Trilogy again stars barstool schemers Jim Pooley and John Omally. And the plot once more is another collection of running gags themed around the end of the millennium: There’s a scientist who hopes to clone Jesus, a Vatican decree allowing Brentford to celebrate the new millennium early, and a man who sold his soul.

Rankin’s performance is highlighted by his raspy British accent and impeccable comic timing.

Critic reviews

"Stark raving genius...alarming and deformed brilliance" ( Observer)
"He becomes funnier the more you read him." ( Independent)
"Everybody should read at least one Robert Rankin in their life." ( Daily Express)
"One of the rare guys who can always make me laugh" (Terry Pratchett)
"To the top-selling ranks of humorists such as Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett, let us welcome Mr Rankin" (Tom Hutchinson, The Times)

What listeners say about The Brentford Chainstore Massacre

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