
The Customer Is Always Wrong
An Unhinged Guide to Everything That Sucks About Work (from an Angry Retail Guy) - The Perfect Funny Christmas Gift for Retail, Service, or Office Workers
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Narrated by:
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Scott Seiss
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By:
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Scott Seiss
About this listen
Read by the author.
Customers want you to magically produce something from the back room. Bosses schedule you on your day off. Corporate policies are mandated that make zero practical sense. Sound familiar?
If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.
Expanding on the ire-filled, laugh-out-loud viral videos that have made him a (whispered) workplace name, Scott Seiss joyfully eviscerates not only overbearing customers but every annoying aspect of work like purposeless job interview questions, debatable brand values, and the walking human trainwrecks that are our bosses. Scott guides you all the way from first applying to the job, to inevitably gritting your teeth and smiling on your last day when that one manager you despise says, “Come back and visit us!”
The Customer Is Always Wrong is for anyone who:
- Is tired of their "raise" being as close as scientifically possible to 0 percent
- Wants to tell their boss that not even the self-checkout machines want to work here
- Is prepared to tell the next customer who asks to see the manager that the manager has no idea what's going on either
- Calls in sick whenever their PTO request is denied
- Believes entering a store five minutes before it closes should be illegal
- Explains, on a weekly basis, why someone can't use a coupon that expired 17 years ago
- Is physically repulsed by the phrase, "At this company, we're a family. . . ."
This tongue-in-cheek commiseration for workers will make you laugh out loud at the things that drive you crazy in the workplace. With Scott's signature rants, funny anecdotes, and absurd musings, this book celebrates and empowers underpaid and overworked employees with an uproarious ode to what we really think about our jobs and the customers that come with them (except the ones who listen to this book, of course).
Comics and graphics can be found in the audiobook companion PDF download.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Scott Seiss (P)2024 Harper CelebrateListeners also enjoyed...
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Beyond the Hammer
- A Fresh Approach to Leadership, Culture, and Building High Performance Teams
- By: Brian Gottlieb
- Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini, Brian Gottlieb
- Length: 4 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Employees that don't take ownership of their work. Friction between departments. Inconsistent results. These are the top challenges that face most businesses today. These common issues create high turnover and force managers into crisis mode where they're consumed putting out daily fires. Over time, the very nature of the business changes and a new culture emerges; one shaped by the lowest level of acceptable behavior. Beyond the Hammer approaches these concerns in two highly engaging sections.
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Relatability
- By Gregory A Ritchie on 03-14-25
By: Brian Gottlieb
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What If? 10th Anniversary Edition
- Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions
- By: Randall Munroe
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Fans of xkcd ask Munroe a lot of strange questions: What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at ninety percent the speed of light? How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? If there was a robot apocalypse, how long would humanity last? What if everyone only had one soulmate? What would happen if the moon went away? In pursuit of answers, Munroe runs computer simulations, pores over stacks of declassified military research memos, solves differential equations, and consults with nuclear reactor operators.
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nothing new
- By James on 12-11-24
By: Randall Munroe
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Tremendous
- The Life of a Comedy Savage
- By: Joey "Coco" Diaz
- Narrated by: Joey "Coco" Diaz
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Outsider. Misfit. Criminal. Convict. . . . Movie star. Family man. Comedy legend. Joey Diaz has been called every name in the book (and then some). Now, for the first time, he shares the story of his unlikely rise to fame in his own words—with no punches pulled.
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Thank you
- By amanda on 05-04-23
By: Joey "Coco" Diaz
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Big Dumb Eyes
- Stories from a Simpler Mind
- By: Nate Bargatze
- Narrated by: Nate Bargatze
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Nate Bargatze used to be a genius. That is, until the summer after seventh grade when he slipped, fell off a cliff, hit his head on a rock, and “my brain got, like, dented or something.” Before this accident, he dreamed of being “an electric engineer, or a brain doctor, or maybe a math person who does like, math things for a living.” Afterwards, a voice in his head told him, “It’s okay. You’re dumb now. All you got is standup.” But the “math things’ industry’s loss is our gain because Nate went on to become one of today’s top-grossing comedians who breaks both attendance and streaming records.
By: Nate Bargatze
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That's Not Right
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Amber is a young videographer who has landed her dream job. She is to produce a web series based on a late-night talk radio show dealing with the unexplained. She is a huge fan of the show, and its host, Jack Owens, who she hopes to help reveal the world’s most cryptic secrets. The first secret she reveals is Jack’s. He doesn’t believe any of this crap. To him, the show is just a cushy job that allows him to support himself and his wife without having to try very hard.
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Sigh...
- By Vicki P. on 12-07-24
By: Scott Meyer
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Rhino: The Rise of a Warrior
- Hell Divers Series
- By: Nicholas Sansbury Smith
- Narrated by: Ray Porter
- Length: 12 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Over two centuries have passed since the Third World War reduced civilization to ashes in a global nuclear inferno. Unforgiving geomagnetic storms rage, blocking out the sun and poisoning the radioactive Earth. Humanity clings to survival above the tempestuous skies in giant airships, sustained by Hell Divers—brave souls who risk their lives plunging to the surface for essential parts and supplies.
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Ray Porter narrates and excellent story!
- By Arc on 04-01-25
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
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Until Proven Guilty
- J. P. Beaumont Series, Book 1
- By: J. A. Jance
- Narrated by: Gene Engene
- Length: 8 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Lurking in the dark corners of J. P. Beaumont's bizarre case was not just a demented mind obsessed with murder, but secrets so deadly that even a street-tough cop could die guessing.
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Until proven guilty
- By Jean on 04-21-11
By: J. A. Jance
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Not That Fancy
- Simple Lessons on Living, Loving, Eating, and Dusting Off Your Boots
- By: Reba McEntire
- Narrated by: Reba McEntire, Dolly Parton, Carly Pearce, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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The best things in life are really not that fancy. This audiobook featuring all-things-Reba invites you to get back to the basics of life: fun, food, friends, and family. In her first book in over two decades, actress and country music legend Reba McEntire takes you behind the scenes and shares the stories, recipes, and Oklahoma-style truths that guide her life.
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The queen didn’t disappoint
- By jojouknow on 10-18-23
By: Reba McEntire
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Medgar and Myrlie
- Medgar Evers and the Love Story That Awakened America
- By: Joy-Ann Reid
- Narrated by: Joy-Ann Reid
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Myrlie Louise Beasley met Medgar Evers on her first day of college. They fell in love at first sight, married just one year later, and Myrlie left school to focus on their growing family. Medgar became the field secretary for the Mississippi branch of the NAACP, charged with beating back the most intractable and violent resistance to black voting rights in the country. Myrlie served as Medgar’s secretary and confidant, working hand in hand with him as they struggled against public accommodations and school segregation, lynching, violence, and sheer despair within their state’s “black belt.”
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A must read!
- By Kenny Cook on 02-11-24
By: Joy-Ann Reid
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Very Unbecoming
- By: Emily Kron, Kate Hopkins
- Narrated by: Zoë Chao, Esther Povitsky, Amy Sedaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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When two childhood best friends blow up their respective romantic relationships, they make a time-sensitive pact: serial-cheater Chuck cannot sleep with anyone as she attends a three-month-long recovery group for cheaters, while sex-deprived Sofia vows to hook up with as many people as possible before recommitting to monogamy and tying the knot with her long-time fiancé. To keep things interesting, Chuck and Sofia decide to revive a past tradition from their summer camp days—also known as the dawning of sluthood.
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Hilarious
- By Rachel on 11-21-24
By: Emily Kron, and others
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What This Comedian Said Will Shock You
- By: Bill Maher
- Narrated by: Bill Maher
- Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Some of the smartest commentary about what’s happening in America is coming from a comedian—this comedian being Bill Maher. If you want to understand what’s wrong with this country, it turns out that one of the best informed and most thought-provoking analysts is this very funny pothead.
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Great book by Bill Maher
- By michelle nachtigall on 05-22-24
By: Bill Maher
What listeners say about The Customer Is Always Wrong
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- Erica Barr
- 10-19-24
He spoke the truth ,,,,
Nothing at all,,, I’m waiting for the next book. This book was great to listen to and had valid points. Keep doing what your doing because you are funny
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- Anthony
- 12-28-24
Hilarious and definitely accurate
Coming from somebody that has worked in retail and is currently working in hospitality for 5 and half years I’m here to say this book is funny and true what workers in customer service want to actually say to people that have actually said the things Scott mentioned without getting fired at your job. It’s even similar with hospitality and food industry as well dealing with those kinds of issues and people. The customer is always wrong indeed. I recommend it to anyone that works in retail and restaurant to read this if you want to find a book to have good laugh out of it.
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- Brian Aparicio-Rascon
- 01-01-25
So much catharsis
This is everything that every worker has ever wanted to scream into the endless abyss.
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- Jason
- 09-13-24
I think retail chains should sell this.
I think everybody that jas ever worked a job can relate to this. These are just extra words to meet the 15-word minimum
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- Anonymous User
- 09-14-24
The accuracy is on point.
If you’ve ever had a job doing anything that involved dealing with a customer, this book is 100% for you.
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- Alo***
- 11-08-24
How we all really feel
Super funny, expressing how we all really feel lol. Had a great laugh and enjoyed it so much .
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- Anonymous User
- 12-06-24
LMAO
great book great book great book great book great book great book good book good book and awesome audio from Scott
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- Doug C
- 10-15-24
Whoa. Very funny.
Hey this book is worth it! The comedy is great and on point. The performance is excellent and way better than you’d expect for a first time narrator. I think this book is the perfect palette cleanser after a series.
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- Shannon Grossman
- 10-24-24
HILARIOUS
Omg this is the funniest thing I have ever heard this guy knows the soul of every single person who's ever worked with the public
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- Katherine Alexander
- 03-07-25
Nailed it.
No.
Ha ha every time you answered with “no,” it made me laugh out loud. Thanks for saying all the things we’re all thinking.
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