The Customer Is Always Wrong
An Unhinged Guide to Everything That Sucks About Work (from an Angry Retail Guy) - The Perfect Funny Christmas Gift for Retail, Service, or Office Workers
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Narrated by:
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Scott Seiss
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By:
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Scott Seiss
About this listen
Read by the author.
Customers want you to magically produce something from the back room. Bosses schedule you on your day off. Corporate policies are mandated that make zero practical sense. Sound familiar?
If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.
Expanding on the ire-filled, laugh-out-loud viral videos that have made him a (whispered) workplace name, Scott Seiss joyfully eviscerates not only overbearing customers but every annoying aspect of work like purposeless job interview questions, debatable brand values, and the walking human trainwrecks that are our bosses. Scott guides you all the way from first applying to the job, to inevitably gritting your teeth and smiling on your last day when that one manager you despise says, “Come back and visit us!”
The Customer Is Always Wrong is for anyone who:
- Is tired of their "raise" being as close as scientifically possible to 0 percent
- Wants to tell their boss that not even the self-checkout machines want to work here
- Is prepared to tell the next customer who asks to see the manager that the manager has no idea what's going on either
- Calls in sick whenever their PTO request is denied
- Believes entering a store five minutes before it closes should be illegal
- Explains, on a weekly basis, why someone can't use a coupon that expired 17 years ago
- Is physically repulsed by the phrase, "At this company, we're a family. . . ."
This tongue-in-cheek commiseration for workers will make you laugh out loud at the things that drive you crazy in the workplace. With Scott's signature rants, funny anecdotes, and absurd musings, this book celebrates and empowers underpaid and overworked employees with an uproarious ode to what we really think about our jobs and the customers that come with them (except the ones who listen to this book, of course).
Comics and graphics can be found in the audiobook companion PDF download.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Scott Seiss (P)2024 Harper CelebrateListeners also enjoyed...
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Performance
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Have you ever been badgered by an annoying pick-up artist at the bar? Ever felt a burning desire to emotionally torture a friend’s boyfriend in an act of revenge? Have you ever endured just talking to a man before? If so, then this book is for you. With more than 100 phrases, questions, and comebacks, How to Piss Off Men is your essential guide to sending even the most relentless mansplainer into an existential crisis.
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A delightful and meaningful read!
- By Elizabeth Cary on 09-19-24
By: Kyle Prue
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The Kennedy Imprisonment
- A Meditation on Power
- By: Garry Wills
- Narrated by: Alex Hyde-White
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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This book is an exhilaration search-and-destroy mission on the higher slopes of our political culture. By turns comic and deeply serious, it is the most acute assessment so far of the Kennedy phenomenon.
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Behind the mask of American power-stars
- By Philo on 11-19-19
By: Garry Wills
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The History of Information
- By: Chris Haughton
- Narrated by: Siobhan McAuley
- Length: 5 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Go on an illuminating journey through the evolution of knowledge and communication with the debut non-fiction book by best-selling author Chris Haughton. Discover how the ways we share and store information have shaped and changed the world in this utterly unique book. A fascinating listen for both children and adults, it is suitable for children from age 8+. What is it that makes technology improve rather than stay static or even fall into decline? The answer is information.
By: Chris Haughton
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The Space Age Generation
- Lives and Lessons from the Golden Age of Solar System Exploration
- By: William Sheehan - editor, Klaus R. Brasch - editor
- Narrated by: Peter Lerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1957 Sputnik launched toward the stars. President Kennedy then announced that the United States would send men to the Moon and then return them to Earth.These pivotal moments sparked an unequaled bound forward in human innovation and scientific exploration. At the heart of this momentous time were the men and women working behind the scenes. Scientists, historians, and astronomers share their memories and contributions from this unparalleled era in essays told in their own words.
By: William Sheehan - editor, and others
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The Moral Wisdom of the Catholic Church
- A Defense of Her Controversial Moral Teachings
- By: Robert Spitzer
- Narrated by: Joan Jacoby
- Length: 18 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Jesus said, "The truth will set you free." Father Spitzer lays bare the theological and philosophical roots of Catholic morality, and also uses secular statistical studies to demonstrate that these teachings, even from a scientific standpoint, help human beings to flourish.
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An Inside look at the world around us.
- By LL Langenbrunner on 12-28-23
By: Robert Spitzer
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The Conservative Futurist
- How to Create the Sci-Fi World We Were Promised
- By: James Pethokoukis
- Narrated by: Séan Marrinan
- Length: 11 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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America was once the world’s dream factory. We turned imagination into reality, from curing polio to landing on the Moon to creating the internet. And we were confident that more wonders lay just over the horizon: clean and infinite energy, a cure for cancer, computers and robots as humanity’s great helpers, and space colonies. (Also, of course, flying cars.) Science fiction, from The Jetsons to Star Trek, would become fact.
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well-researched and interesting point of view
- By Jonah on 01-21-24
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Escape from Evil's Darkness: The Light of Christ in the Church, Spiritual Conversion, and Moral Conversion
- Called Out of Darkness: Contending with Evil Through the Church, Virtue, and Prayer, Book 2
- By: Robert J. Spitzer
- Narrated by: Joan Jacoby
- Length: 23 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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In this second volume of the Called Out of Darkness trilogy, Father Robert Spitzer, S.J., draws together some of the best advice given by Catholic spiritual masters across the ages and brings it into harmony with modern scientific research, offering practical ways to live out the gospel in our busy days. It is a road map to a deeper relationship with the Lord and to authentic transformation through the imitation of Christ. Giving evidence that Jesus established just one Church, with Peter as its head, Spitzer shows that the Catholic Church continues to be fertile ground for conversion.
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Tremendous
- The Life of a Comedy Savage
- By: Joey "Coco" Diaz
- Narrated by: Joey "Coco" Diaz
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Outsider. Misfit. Criminal. Convict. . . . Movie star. Family man. Comedy legend. Joey Diaz has been called every name in the book (and then some). Now, for the first time, he shares the story of his unlikely rise to fame in his own words—with no punches pulled.
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Thank you
- By amanda on 05-04-23
By: Joey "Coco" Diaz
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That's Not Right
- By: Scott Meyer
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Amber is a young videographer who has landed her dream job. She is to produce a web series based on a late-night talk radio show dealing with the unexplained. She is a huge fan of the show, and its host, Jack Owens, who she hopes to help reveal the world’s most cryptic secrets. The first secret she reveals is Jack’s. He doesn’t believe any of this crap. To him, the show is just a cushy job that allows him to support himself and his wife without having to try very hard.
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Sigh...
- By Vicki P. on 12-07-24
By: Scott Meyer
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The Theft of America’s Soul
- Blowing the Lid Off the Lies That Are Destroying Our Country
- By: Phil Robertson
- Narrated by: Phil Robertson
- Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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The Theft of America’s Soul is a prophetic wake-up call for all who desire to see our nation thrive, challenging listeners to exchange these 10 lies for truths that will bring peace of mind, harmony, and prosperity back to our country - an invitation to experience the life-giving, peace-filling, wholly-transforming love of God. Phil Robertson, patriarch of A&E’s Duck Dynasty and one of the most recognized voices of conservative Christianity in America, believes that little by little, America has allowed the lines of morality, decency, and virtue to be erased.
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Mr. Robertson is a straight shooter
- By DaDB on 02-11-19
By: Phil Robertson
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Science at the Doorstep to God
- Science and Reason in Support of God, the Soul, and Life After Death
- By: Robert Spitzer
- Narrated by: Joan Jacoby
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Today, there is more science-based evidence for God, the soul, and life after death than ever before. Then why are scores of people turning to unbelief because of “science”? The answer is simple: they do not know the science. Science at the Doorstep to God presents in depth the latest evidence to turn the rising tide of unbelief. Father Robert Spitzer, S.J., synthesizes eight recent studies confirming an intelligent creator of physical reality as well as a transphysical soul capable of surviving bodily death.
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amazingly in depth
- By Anonymous User on 08-24-24
By: Robert Spitzer
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The Iron Cage
- The Story of the Palestinian Struggle for Statehood
- By: Rashid Khalidi
- Narrated by: Shawn K. Jain
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when a lasting peace between the Palestinians and the Israelis seems unattainable, understanding the roots of their conflict is an essential step in restoring hope to the region. In The Iron Cage, Rashid Khalidi provides a lucid context for the realities on the ground today, a context that has been, until now, notably lacking in our discourse.
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Valuable addition the canon
- By mb on 11-22-24
By: Rashid Khalidi
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Ayoade on Top
- By: Richard Ayoade
- Narrated by: Richard Ayoade
- Length: 4 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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At last, the definitive audiobook about perhaps the best cabin crew dramedy ever filmed: View from the Top starring Gwyneth Paltrow. In Ayoade on Top, Richard Ayoade, perhaps one of the most 'insubstantial' people of our age, takes us on a journey from Peckham to Paris by way of Nevada and other places we don't care about. It's a journey deep within, in a way that's respectful and non-invasive; a journey for which we will all pay a heavy price, even if you've waited for the smaller paperback edition. Ayoade argues for the canonisation of this brutal masterpiece.
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Listened for an hour and a half, didn't laugh once
- By Wesley on 12-13-19
By: Richard Ayoade
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Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
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They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
What listeners say about The Customer Is Always Wrong
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- Doug C
- 10-15-24
Whoa. Very funny.
Hey this book is worth it! The comedy is great and on point. The performance is excellent and way better than you’d expect for a first time narrator. I think this book is the perfect palette cleanser after a series.
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- Shannon Grossman
- 10-24-24
HILARIOUS
Omg this is the funniest thing I have ever heard this guy knows the soul of every single person who's ever worked with the public
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- Erica Barr
- 10-19-24
He spoke the truth ,,,,
Nothing at all,,, I’m waiting for the next book. This book was great to listen to and had valid points. Keep doing what your doing because you are funny
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- Brian Aparicio-Rascon
- 01-01-25
So much catharsis
This is everything that every worker has ever wanted to scream into the endless abyss.
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- Anthony
- 12-28-24
Hilarious and definitely accurate
Coming from somebody that has worked in retail and is currently working in hospitality for 5 and half years I’m here to say this book is funny and true what workers in customer service want to actually say to people that have actually said the things Scott mentioned without getting fired at your job. It’s even similar with hospitality and food industry as well dealing with those kinds of issues and people. The customer is always wrong indeed. I recommend it to anyone that works in retail and restaurant to read this if you want to find a book to have good laugh out of it.
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- Gregorio Bueno
- 10-05-24
Good and funny
This is a great audiobook with a lot of good responses to vicious comments or actions we take for no good reason. It’s a great read that is short and simple.
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- Mumma
- 09-12-24
Absolutely hilarious
One of the funniest books I have ever read. Be careful listening while driving I almost it a tree. Great job, Scott!
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- KJ
- 12-08-24
Truth at the workplace
This was such a fun audio book. I love how the book is organized and glad Scott was the reader.
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- Jason
- 09-13-24
I think retail chains should sell this.
I think everybody that jas ever worked a job can relate to this. These are just extra words to meet the 15-word minimum
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- Anonymous User
- 09-14-24
The accuracy is on point.
If you’ve ever had a job doing anything that involved dealing with a customer, this book is 100% for you.
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