The Customer Is Always Wrong
An Unhinged Guide to Everything That Sucks About Work (from an Angry Retail Guy)
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Narrated by:
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Scott Seiss
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By:
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Scott Seiss
About this listen
Read by the author.
Customers want you to magically produce something from the back room. Bosses schedule you on your day off. Corporate policies are mandated that make zero practical sense. Sound familiar?
If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.
Expanding on the ire-filled, laugh-out-loud viral videos that have made him a (whispered) workplace name, Scott Seiss joyfully eviscerates not only overbearing customers but every annoying aspect of work like purposeless job interview questions, debatable brand values, and the walking human trainwrecks that are our bosses. Scott guides you all the way from first applying to the job, to inevitably gritting your teeth and smiling on your last day when that one manager you despise says, “Come back and visit us!”
The Customer Is Always Wrong is for anyone who:
- Is tired of their "raise" being as close as scientifically possible to 0 percent
- Wants to tell their boss that not even the self-checkout machines want to work here
- Is prepared to tell the next customer who asks to see the manager that the manager has no idea what's going on either
- Calls in sick whenever their PTO request is denied
- Believes entering a store five minutes before it closes should be illegal
- Explains, on a weekly basis, why someone can't use a coupon that expired 17 years ago
- Is physically repulsed by the phrase, "At this company, we're a family. . . ."
This tongue-in-cheek commiseration for workers will make you laugh out loud at the things that drive you crazy in the workplace. With Scott's signature rants, funny anecdotes, and absurd musings, this book celebrates and empowers underpaid and overworked employees with an uproarious ode to what we really think about our jobs and the customers that come with them (except the ones who listen to this book, of course).
Comics and graphics can be found in the audiobook companion PDF download.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2024 Scott Seiss (P)2024 Harper CelebrateListeners also enjoyed...
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- By: William Sheehan - editor, Klaus R. Brasch - editor
- Narrated by: Peter Lerman
- Length: 11 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1957 Sputnik launched toward the stars. President Kennedy then announced that the United States would send men to the Moon and then return them to Earth.These pivotal moments sparked an unequaled bound forward in human innovation and scientific exploration. At the heart of this momentous time were the men and women working behind the scenes. Scientists, historians, and astronomers share their memories and contributions from this unparalleled era in essays told in their own words.
By: William Sheehan - editor, and others
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Cult Following
- The Extreme Sects That Capture Our Imaginations—and Take Over Our Lives
- By: J. W. Ocker
- Narrated by: Kimberly M. Wetherell
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In Cult Following, Ocker sheds light on the terrifying attraction of cults, demonstrating the elasticity of belief, the desperateness of belonging, and the tragedy of trust.
By: J. W. Ocker
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Birds Aren't Real
- The True Story of Mass Avian Murder and the Largest Surveillance Campaign in US History
- By: Peter McIndoe, Connor Gaydos
- Narrated by: Connor Gaydos, Peter McIndoe
- Length: 3 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? You haven’t, have you? No one has, not in many, many years. They used to be everywhere. You couldn’t walk out of your front door in New York City in the 1930s without seeing dozens of those little guys scurrying around. Today, there are millions of grown up pigeons in New York, but not a baby pigeon to be seen. That’s because they come out of the factory as adults. In Birds Aren’t Real, whistleblowers Peter McIndoe and Connor Gaydos trace the roots of a political conspiracy so vast and well-hidden that it almost seems like an elaborate hoax.
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Confirmation of the greatest government conspiracy.
- By Roger Bowersox on 06-04-24
By: Peter McIndoe, and others
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The Kennedy Imprisonment
- A Meditation on Power
- By: Garry Wills
- Narrated by: Alex Hyde-White
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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This book is an exhilaration search-and-destroy mission on the higher slopes of our political culture. By turns comic and deeply serious, it is the most acute assessment so far of the Kennedy phenomenon.
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Behind the mask of American power-stars
- By Philo on 11-19-19
By: Garry Wills
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The History of Information
- By: Chris Haughton
- Narrated by: Siobhan McAuley
- Length: 5 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Go on an illuminating journey through the evolution of knowledge and communication with the debut non-fiction book by best-selling author Chris Haughton. Discover how the ways we share and store information have shaped and changed the world in this utterly unique book. A fascinating listen for both children and adults, it is suitable for children from age 8+. What is it that makes technology improve rather than stay static or even fall into decline? The answer is information.
By: Chris Haughton
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The Moral Wisdom of the Catholic Church
- A Defense of Her Controversial Moral Teachings
- By: Robert Spitzer
- Narrated by: Joan Jacoby
- Length: 18 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Jesus said, "The truth will set you free." Father Spitzer lays bare the theological and philosophical roots of Catholic morality, and also uses secular statistical studies to demonstrate that these teachings, even from a scientific standpoint, help human beings to flourish.
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An Inside look at the world around us.
- By LL Langenbrunner on 12-28-23
By: Robert Spitzer
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The Conservative Futurist
- How to Create the Sci-Fi World We Were Promised
- By: James Pethokoukis
- Narrated by: Séan Marrinan
- Length: 11 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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America was once the world’s dream factory. We turned imagination into reality, from curing polio to landing on the Moon to creating the internet. And we were confident that more wonders lay just over the horizon: clean and infinite energy, a cure for cancer, computers and robots as humanity’s great helpers, and space colonies. (Also, of course, flying cars.) Science fiction, from The Jetsons to Star Trek, would become fact.
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well-researched and interesting point of view
- By Jonah on 01-21-24
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Escape from Evil's Darkness: The Light of Christ in the Church, Spiritual Conversion, and Moral Conversion
- Called Out of Darkness: Contending with Evil Through the Church, Virtue, and Prayer, Book 2
- By: Robert J. Spitzer
- Narrated by: Joan Jacoby
- Length: 23 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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In this second volume of the Called Out of Darkness trilogy, Father Robert Spitzer, S.J., draws together some of the best advice given by Catholic spiritual masters across the ages and brings it into harmony with modern scientific research, offering practical ways to live out the gospel in our busy days. It is a road map to a deeper relationship with the Lord and to authentic transformation through the imitation of Christ. Giving evidence that Jesus established just one Church, with Peter as its head, Spitzer shows that the Catholic Church continues to be fertile ground for conversion.
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Scam Goddess
- Lessons from a Life of Cons, Grifts, and Schemes
- By: Laci Mosley
- Narrated by: Laci Mosley
- Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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In Scam Goddess, Laci recounts how her scammer instincts have guided her throughout her life—from a religious childhood in rural Texas, to a stint as a city bartender at what might have been a drug front, to swindling her way past the gatekeepers of Hollywood—recounting the greatest true-crime scam stories that inspired her along the way. Whether it’s by the beauty industry, capitalism, or the people we date, we’re all getting scammed. In this book, Laci identifies the secrets to flipping the script and coming out ahead.
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Loved it
- By Sweethoneyboomboom on 11-02-24
By: Laci Mosley
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Married… with Children vs. the World
- The Inside Story of the Shock-Com That Launched FOX and Changed TV Comedy Forever
- By: Richard Gurman
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Married . . . With Children writer-producer Richard Gurman takes us behind the scenes of this boundary-breaking show to reveal how its inner workings were at times as disruptive and contentious—yet at other times, as hysterical and raunchy—as the Bundy family themselves.
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Didn’t want it to End
- By Amanda on 09-10-24
By: Richard Gurman
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Burdened
- Student Debt and the Making of an American Crisis
- By: Ryann Liebenthal
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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College costs more today than ever and is worth less. Tuition at public colleges has more than tripled in the past 50 years. Over the same period student debt has grown from virtually nothing to more than $1.7 trillion, second only to home mortgages. Skyrocketing student-loan burdens are leading an entire generation to put off the traditional milestones of adulthood: buying homes, getting married, starting families, and saving for retirement.
By: Ryann Liebenthal
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Desert Echoes
- By: Abdi Nazemian
- Narrated by: Arya Shahi
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Fifteen-year-old Kam is head over heels for Ash, the boy who swept him off his feet. But his family and best friend, Bodie, are worried. Something seems off about Ash. He also has a habit of disappearing, at times for days. When Ash asks Kam to join him on a trip to Joshua Tree, the two of them walk off into the sunset . . . but only Kam returns. Two years later, Kam is still left with a hole in his heart and too many unanswered questions. So it feels like fate when a school trip takes him back to Joshua Tree.
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Moving characters
- By Bettie Likes Books on 10-06-24
By: Abdi Nazemian
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The Iron Cage
- The Story of the Palestinian Struggle for Statehood
- By: Rashid Khalidi
- Narrated by: Shawn K. Jain
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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At a time when a lasting peace between the Palestinians and the Israelis seems unattainable, understanding the roots of their conflict is an essential step in restoring hope to the region. In The Iron Cage, Rashid Khalidi provides a lucid context for the realities on the ground today, a context that has been, until now, notably lacking in our discourse.
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The other side.
- By Anonymous User on 10-07-24
By: Rashid Khalidi
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Science at the Doorstep to God
- Science and Reason in Support of God, the Soul, and Life After Death
- By: Robert Spitzer
- Narrated by: Joan Jacoby
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Today, there is more science-based evidence for God, the soul, and life after death than ever before. Then why are scores of people turning to unbelief because of “science”? The answer is simple: they do not know the science. Science at the Doorstep to God presents in depth the latest evidence to turn the rising tide of unbelief. Father Robert Spitzer, S.J., synthesizes eight recent studies confirming an intelligent creator of physical reality as well as a transphysical soul capable of surviving bodily death.
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amazingly in depth
- By Anonymous User on 08-24-24
By: Robert Spitzer
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How to Piss Off Men
- 109 Things to Say to Shatter the Male Ego
- By: Kyle Prue
- Narrated by: Kyle Prue
- Length: 1 hr and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Have you ever been badgered by an annoying pick-up artist at the bar? Ever felt a burning desire to emotionally torture a friend’s boyfriend in an act of revenge? Have you ever endured just talking to a man before? If so, then this book is for you. With more than 100 phrases, questions, and comebacks, How to Piss Off Men is your essential guide to sending even the most relentless mansplainer into an existential crisis.
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A delightful and meaningful read!
- By Elizabeth Cary on 09-19-24
By: Kyle Prue
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Against Constitutional Originalism
- A Historical Critique
- By: Jonathan Gienapp
- Narrated by: Josh Innerst
- Length: 11 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Constitutional originalism stakes law to history. The theory's core tenet—that the United States Constitution should be interpreted according to its original meaning—has us decide questions of modern constitutional law by consulting the distant constitutional past. Yet originalist engagement with history is often deeply problematic. In this comprehensive and novel critique of originalism, Jonathan Gienapp targets originalists' unspoken assumptions about the Constitution and its history.
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Title of my review
- By Terrance on 09-28-24
By: Jonathan Gienapp
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Pivot or Die
- How Leaders Thrive When Everything Changes
- By: Gary Shapiro
- Narrated by: Gary Shapiro, Sean Pratt
- Length: 7 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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As CEO of the Consumer Technology Association ®, owner and producer of CES ®, Gary Shapiro has had a front row seat to the launch of nearly every recent major technology. He's seen tech companies rise and fall, and bankrupt entrepreneurs become billionaires. After more than four decades in the industry, he knows that leaders who make it in the tech world have one thing in common: they know how to pivot. Drawing upon detailed case studies, economic theory, and personal experience, Pivot or Die offers a behind-the-scenes look at the development of innovative technology and business strategies
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Insightful, Engaging & Valuable
- By Betaman2003 on 10-20-24
By: Gary Shapiro
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Business Is About to Pick Up!
- 50 Years of Wrestling in 50 Unforgettable Calls
- By: Jim Ross
- Narrated by: Jim Ross
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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For wrestling fans, Jim Ross’ voice is the soundtrack of an era. This book is your ringside ticket to wrestling’s most unforgettable moments—from the announcer who made them iconic. In the last 50 years, professional wrestling has risen up from a collection of regional territories to become a global phenomenon—and Jim Ross has been there for it all. From the grit and glory days of the 1970s with NWA, to the rise of WCW and the heyday of WWF and WWE, to signing on as on-air talent and senior advisor for wrestling’s newest chapter at AEW, Jim Ross has long had the best seat in the house.
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White meat babyface from Norman OK
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-24
By: Jim Ross
What listeners say about The Customer Is Always Wrong
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Erica Barr
- 10-19-24
He spoke the truth ,,,,
Nothing at all,,, I’m waiting for the next book. This book was great to listen to and had valid points. Keep doing what your doing because you are funny
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- Mumma
- 09-12-24
Absolutely hilarious
One of the funniest books I have ever read. Be careful listening while driving I almost it a tree. Great job, Scott!
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- Gregorio Bueno
- 10-05-24
Good and funny
This is a great audiobook with a lot of good responses to vicious comments or actions we take for no good reason. It’s a great read that is short and simple.
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- Anonymous User
- 09-14-24
The accuracy is on point.
If you’ve ever had a job doing anything that involved dealing with a customer, this book is 100% for you.
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- Jason
- 09-13-24
I think retail chains should sell this.
I think everybody that jas ever worked a job can relate to this. These are just extra words to meet the 15-word minimum
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- Alo***
- 11-08-24
How we all really feel
Super funny, expressing how we all really feel lol. Had a great laugh and enjoyed it so much .
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- Doug C
- 10-15-24
Whoa. Very funny.
Hey this book is worth it! The comedy is great and on point. The performance is excellent and way better than you’d expect for a first time narrator. I think this book is the perfect palette cleanser after a series.
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- Shannon Grossman
- 10-24-24
HILARIOUS
Omg this is the funniest thing I have ever heard this guy knows the soul of every single person who's ever worked with the public
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- Andre Perry
- 09-10-24
I could not stop laughing!!!!
This is a refreshing look at the grueling task of being a customer service person. I have worked customer service on/off in some form for over 25 years, and this guy gets it. Thank you Scott :)
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- Gabe Hoard
- 09-10-24
love it
he's really funny and comforting to listen to and made me laugh a,lot and I can relate to it
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