The Mafia Philosopher: Two Tonys
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Narrated by:
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Tom Campbell
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By:
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Shaun Attwood
About this listen
“A fast-paced true-crime memoir with all of the action of Goodfellas.” (UNILAD )
“Sopranos v Sons of Anarchy with an Alaskan-snow backdrop.” (WWC)
Breaking bones, burying bodies, and planting bombs became second nature to Two Tonys while working for the Bonanno Crime Family, whose exploits inspired The Godfather.
After a dispute with an outlaw motorcycle club, Two Tonys left a trail of corpses from Arizona to Alaska. On the run, he was pursued by bikers and a neo-Nazi gang bloodthirsty for revenge, while a homicide detective launched a nationwide manhunt.
As the mist from his smoking gun fades, listeners are left with an unexpected portrait of a stoic philosopher with a wealth of charm, a glorious turn of phrase, and a fanatical devotion to his daughter.
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This is his story, or, rather, stories - lots of them, and all gut-punchingly hilarious, from that first far reach into a girl's tight jeans to turning forty with a cataclysmic party. In between you’ll hear about acid trips, threesomes, Nazi skinheads, his band Anal Chinook (Inuit for “warm wind”), Martians in northern Canada, throwing pedophiles in jail, dinner with the Clash, what happens when you crash Bill Maher's show wasted, and the true story of Vice magazine.
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if you don't buy this book, the terrorists win
- By Kelsey Gholi on 04-03-17
By: Gavin McInnes
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Of Mice and Minestrone
- Hap and Leonard: The Early Years (Hap and Leonard)
- By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, Kasey Lansdale - contributor, Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is Black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing - all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food.
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Wringing every last drop
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 04-08-23
By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, and others
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The Rabbit Factory
- By: Marshall Karp
- Narrated by: Tom Stechschulte, James Jenner
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Marshall Karp is an acclaimed playwright known for his witty sense of humor and crackling dialogue. His debut novel The Rabbit Factory stars the irreverent LAPD detective duo of Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs. Dean Lamaar is the architect of an entertainment empire and the creator of iconic characters like Rambunctious Rabbit and McGreedy the Moose.
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Bizarre but engaging mystery.1st-rate performance.
- By MidwestGeek on 12-19-12
By: Marshall Karp
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Four Feet Tall & Rising
- A Memoir
- By: Shorty Rossi, S. J. Hodges
- Narrated by: Shorty Rossi
- Length: 6 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Luigi Francis "Shorty" Rossi, the tough-talking, fedora-wearing star of Animal Planet's hit show Pit Boss, may stand only four feet tall, but that hasn't stopped him from living large, becoming a successful businessman and an outspoken advocate for pit bulls, the most misunderstood dog breed in the world.
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Great book, truly good person
- By Anonymous on 03-03-12
By: Shorty Rossi, and others
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This Might Get a Little Heavy
- A Memoir
- By: Ralphie May, Nils Parker
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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There was a time when Ralphie May was one of the biggest stand-up comedians in the country, both by ticket sales and by tonnage. While some things changed - Ralphie lost half his body weight - others did not: He will be remembered as one of the most successful comics of his time. Completed just months before his untimely passing, in This Might Get a Little Heavy, Ralphie takes listeners on a behind-the-scenes tour of his life and career, one that winds across the country, over obstacles, beyond heartbreak, and through the golden age of stand-up.
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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The Postmortal
- A Novel
- By: Drew Magary
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In a world where an anti-aging cure is available worldwide, immortality comes with its own unique problems. John Farrell is about to get "The Cure". Old age can never kill him now. The only problem is, everything else still can.
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Interesting concept but bleak and wearing
- By Amazon Customer on 05-15-12
By: Drew Magary
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Flood
- A Novel (Burke, Book 1)
- By: Andrew Vachss
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Burke's newest client is a woman named Flood, who has the face of an angel, the body of a high-priced stripper, and the skills of a professional executioner. She wants Burke to find a monster for her - so she can kill him with her bare hands. In this thriller, Andrew Vachss's renegade private eye teams up with a lethally gifted avenger to follow a child's murderer through the catacombs of New York, where every alley is blind and the penthouses are as dangerous as the basements.
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Noir!
- By Snoodely on 03-06-14
By: Andrew Vachss
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Snowing in Bali
- The Incredible Inside Account of Bali's Hidden Drug World
- By: Kathryn Bonella
- Narrated by: Nicholas Bell
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Snowing in Bali is the story of the drug trafficking and dealing scene that's made Bali one of the world's most important destinations in the global distribution of narcotics. With its central location to the Asia Pacific market, its thriving tourist industry to act as cover for importation, and a culture of corruption that can easily help law enforcement turn a blind eye, Bali has long been a paradise for traffickers as well as for holiday-makers. Kathryn Bonella, best-selling author of Hotel Kerobokan, has been given extraordinary access into the lives of some of the biggest players in Bali's drug world, both past and present.
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Oversensationalized
- By LCW on 04-23-17
By: Kathryn Bonella
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Trejo
- My Life of Crime, Redemption, and Hollywood
- By: Danny Trejo, Donal Logue
- Narrated by: Danny Trejo, Donal Logue
- Length: 13 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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On screen, Danny Trejo the actor is a baddie who has been killed at least a hundred times. He’s been shot, stabbed, hanged, chopped up, squished by an elevator, and once, was even melted into a bloody goo. Off screen, he’s a hero beloved by recovery communities and obsessed fans alike. But the real Danny Trejo is much more complicated than the legend.
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The best book ever!
- By Nicolas Rocha on 07-08-21
By: Danny Trejo, and others
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Gutshot Straight
- By: Lou Berney
- Narrated by: Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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When Charles "Shake" Bouchon, professional wheel man, walks out of prison after a three-year stretch for grand theft auto, he's got only two problems: he's too nice a guy for the life he's led and not nice enough for any other. So he says yes when he's asked to run a simple errand for his former boss and lover, Alexandra Ilandryan, the formidable pakhan of the Armenian mob in Los Angeles.
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A whole lotta fun.
- By Richard Delman on 04-12-12
By: Lou Berney
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Enforcer
- The Real Story of one of Australia’s Most Feared Outlaw Bikers
- By: Caesar Campbell, Donna Campbell
- Narrated by: Dave Ferguson
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Among members of the outlaw motorcycle clubs, Caesar Campbell is a legend. Former sergeant-at-arms and chief enforcer for the Comancheros, Caesar became the founding member and sergeant-at-arms of the Australian chapter of the Bandidos. He epitomised bikie culture - unbeatable in a fight, brutal in the extreme, fearing no one and nothing, and loyal until death. This is Caesar's story, from his recruitment into the Comancheros, to the savage split within the club that led to the foundation of the Bandidos and the bloody massacre at Milperra that resulted from it.
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Will I be bashed for this?
- By As happy as a monkey with two bananas in his hands on 02-06-14
By: Caesar Campbell, and others
What listeners say about The Mafia Philosopher: Two Tonys
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 10-02-18
Un-put-down-able Due To Two Tonys Voice
Unlike any other book in the Mafia genre, this is unique because it's written in a way that makes you feel like you are having a fireside chat with Two Tonys himself. Once you get past the intro that is written by the author, the rest of the book is in Two Tonys voice. I love Wiseguy by Nicholas Pileggi, but its written from the journalist's perspective. Even Puzo's narration of the Godfather can't top Two Tonys voice. Here's an example from the prologue:
"Sometimes at night, I lay on my bunk, staring at the flies and mosquitoes splattered on the grimy ceiling, reminiscing about the pieces of shit I whacked, which gives me weird thoughts. Probably not weird in the way you’re imagining. If you’re thinking that any of my victims might have been the next Bill Gates or might have discovered a cure for cancer or might have been the first person to walk on Mars, no, let’s be real. They were the kind who might have blown your face off during an armed robbery or sold heroin to your kids. For almost two decades, I got away with putting schmucks to sleep. It all ended after my arrest in the early nineties, so before I set the table for my story, let’s take a peek there."
Plus the story is full of Two Tonys quips and gallows humour. For example, "These days, people’s brains aren’t rolling right. They’re too plugged into shit like Entertainment Tonight to see whether Britney Spears or Paris Hilton are wearing panties."
Two Tonys shares his thoughts on everything from corrupt politicians to child-molesting priests. It's the icing on a cake of a brilliant story about Mafia guys. A major theme full of blood, guts and action is the Mafia war with a biker gang.
All in all a gripping read that is impossible to put down.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Ronald clark
- 08-30-21
Ron Clark
loved the story in two Tony's own words and loved the narrator great book
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- D L
- 05-21-19
I enjoyed it
I do think there is a lot to be said about this title, the stoicism and approach that the actual character takes in his life. He makes mistakes, he owns them, he doesn't back down from them or let them decide. He is more of an idealogic than what the criminal system dictates. He is about respect and standing up for yourself.
I do believe the story was a little lackluster, but again as the author is a blogger it is easier to seperate the type of style. I loved the book and the outlaw justice he employs.
I honestly am bothered by some of the criticisms here, because I feel like everyone doesn't listen or read the first part of the book that the stories need to be changed in order to protect the actual underlying characters or parties involved. However people are nitpicking facts like they physically can. Either way thats normal for this type of work but I did enjoy the book.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-09-19
Two Tonys Walks The Walk
Two Tonys is no lollipop gangster. He makes no excuses for his behavior. Two Tonys commands respect and passes on many lessons in life. This is one of those books that one just does not want to end. I can only guess that Tony has many other stories, possibly edited out for whatever reason.
This listen is smooth and captivating. There are no stretches of boredom. Each chapter hooks the listener with Two Tony's uncanny ability to escape many dangerous situations with a variety of tactics. Hence, there are lessons to be learned.
Shaun Attwood has written another beauty. His style is simple but very effective. He always gets to the point and embellishes very little. Leaving nothing but the facts, Shaun keeps the reader interested at all times. I found this read, listen, extremely entertaining and highly recommend it. I wish it never ended. God Speed Two Tony's. You walked the walk.
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- Daniel Mosca
- 11-16-18
average at best
overall the book was a little average-at-best. it did not use real names made it a little hard to follow. The performance had a fake my voice that got annoying and raspy after a while overall on a scale of 1 to 10 I'd give this book of five
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- MLO
- 04-14-22
Good book
This book kept my interest all the way through I like the personality of the narrator can you crack me up at times rolling all the camera try to find some more books like this
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- Mike C
- 10-31-19
good FICTION read
Loved the first half of the book before it became obvious that large parts of the story are simply untrue. While I don't necessarily believe the author made up the story, a little investigation on his part would have showed that his mystery informant was a liar. While obviously based in reality, the story becomes so grandiose that i began to do more own research. Even though is was clearly hyperbole, I still continued to listen and finish the book. Just from a different perspective.
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1 person found this helpful