The Person You Mean to Be
How Good People Fight Bias
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Narrated by:
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Soneela Nankani
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Dolly Chugh
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Laszlo Bock
About this listen
Foreword by Laszlo Bock, the best-selling author of Work Rules! and former senior vice president of People Operations at Google.
An inspiring guide from Dolly Chugh, an award-winning social psychologist at the New York University Stern School of Business, on how to confront difficult issues including sexism, racism, inequality, and injustice so that you can make the world (and yourself) better.
Many of us believe in equality, diversity, and inclusion. But how do we stand up for those values in our turbulent world? The Person You Mean to Be is the smart, "semi-bold" person’s guide to fighting for what you believe in.
Dolly reveals the surprising causes of inequality, grounded in the "psychology of good people". Using her research findings in unconscious bias as well as work across psychology, sociology, economics, political science, and other disciplines, she offers practical tools to respectfully and effectively talk politics with family, to be a better colleague to people who don’t look like you, and to avoid being a well-intentioned barrier to equality. Being the person we mean to be starts with a look at ourselves.
She argues that the only way to be on the right side of history is to be a good-ish - rather than good - person. Good-ish people are always growing. Second, she helps you find your "ordinary privilege" - the part of your everyday identity you take for granted, such as race for a white person, sexual orientation for a straight person, gender for a man, or education for a college graduate. This part of your identity may bring blind spots, but it is your best tool for influencing change. Third, Dolly introduces the psychological reasons that make it hard for us to see the bias in and around us. She leads you from willful ignorance to willful awareness. Finally, she guides you on how, when, and whom, to engage (and not engage) in your workplaces, homes, and communities. Her science-based approach is a method any of us can put to use in all parts of our life.
Whether you are a long-time activist or new to the fight, you can start from where you are. Through the compelling stories Dolly shares and the surprising science she reports, Dolly guides each of us closer to being the person we mean to be.
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In Friend and Foe, researchers Galinsky and Schweitzer explain why this debate misses the mark. Rather than being hardwired to compete or cooperate, humans have evolved to do both. It is only by learning how to strike the right balance between these two forces that we can improve our long-term relationships and get more of what we want.
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Unexpected
- By Garron Rose on 01-05-16
By: Adam D. Galinsky, and others
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Mindwise
- Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want
- By: Nicholas Epley
- Narrated by: Nicholas Epley
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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You are a mind reader, born with an extraordinary ability to understand what others think, feel, believe, want, and know. It's a sixth sense you use every day, in every personal and professional relationship you have. At its best, this ability allows you to achieve the most important goal in almost any life: connecting, deeply and intimately and honestly, to other human beings. At its worst, it is a source of misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict, leading to damaged relationships and broken dreams. How good are you at knowing the minds of others?
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Finally gave up - no real point
- By Thomas on 05-12-14
By: Nicholas Epley
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Whistling Vivaldi
- How Stereotypes Affect Us and What We Can Do
- By: Claude M. Steele
- Narrated by: DeMario Clarke
- Length: 6 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Claude M. Steele, who has been called “one of the few great social psychologists,” offers a vivid first-person account of the research that supports his groundbreaking conclusions on stereotypes and identity. He sheds new light on American social phenomena from racial and gender gaps in test scores to the belief in the superior athletic prowess of black men, and lays out a plan for mitigating these “stereotype threats” and reshaping American identities.
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Surprising, in a good way
- By Michael on 09-25-20
By: Claude M. Steele
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Generation Me
- Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled - and More Miserable Than Ever Before
- By: Jean M. Twenge PhD
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
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In this provocative new book, psychologist and social commentator Dr. Jean Twenge documents the self-focus of what she calls "Generation Me" - people born in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s. Dr. Twenge explores why her generation is tolerant, confident, open-minded, and ambitious but also cynical, depressed, lonely, and anxious. Dr. Twenge reveals how profoundly different today's young adults are - and makes controversial predictions about what the future holds for them and society as a whole.
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I mostly agree
- By David Hill on 05-25-20
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Raising White Kids
- Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America
- By: Jennifer Harvey
- Narrated by: Eliza Foss
- Length: 8 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Talking about race means naming the reality of white privilege and hierarchy. How do we talk about race honestly, then, without making our children feel bad about being white? Most importantly, how do we do any of this in age-appropriate ways? While a great deal of public discussion exists in regard to the impact of race and racism on children of color, meaningful dialogue about and resources for understanding the impact of race on white children are woefully absent. Raising White Kids steps into that void.
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Distracting performance
- By Amazon Customer on 07-24-20
By: Jennifer Harvey
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I'm Not Yelling
- A Black Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Workplace
- By: Elizabeth Leiba
- Narrated by: Zoleka Vundla
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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I'm Not Yelling is part strategy for savvy black business women navigating a predominantly white corporate America and part vessel empowering black women to find their voices in toxic work environments and be successful business women. Statistical and anecdotal evidence guide the way. Explore the data and hear the accounts of Black women in business who face, work through, and rise above workplace discrimination. Finding your voice as women entrepreneurs. Successful business women use their voice to become strong Black leaders who instill positive change in the workplace culture.
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SPEAK UP!!!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-03-23
By: Elizabeth Leiba
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The Best Place to Work
- The Art and Science of Creating an Extraordinary Workplace
- By: Ron Friedman PhD
- Narrated by: Walter Dixon
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Best Place to Work, award-winning psychologist Ron Friedman, Ph.D. uses the latest research from the fields of motivation, creativity, behavioral economics, neuroscience, and management to reveal what really makes us successful at work. Combining powerful stories with cutting edge findings, Friedman shows leaders at every level how they can use scientifically-proven techniques to promote smarter thinking, greater innovation, and stronger performance.
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Useful ideas and information past first chapters
- By superstasia on 07-12-17
By: Ron Friedman PhD
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How Remarkable Women Lead
- The Breakthrough Model for Work and Life
- By: Joanna Barsh, Susie Cranston, Geoffrey Lewis
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Based on five years of proprietary research, How Remarkable Women Lead speaks to you as no other book has, with its hopeful outlook and unique ideas about success. It's the new "right stuff" of leadership, raising provocative issues such as whether feminine leadership traits (for women and men) are better suited for our fast-changing, hyper-competitive, and increasingly complex world. In this book, McKinsey & Company consultants Joanna Barsh and Susie Cranston establish the links between joy, happiness, and distinctive performance with the groundbreaking model of Centered Leadership.
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Great read for Men & Women
- By yvonne on 08-17-12
By: Joanna Barsh, and others
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Thanks for the Feedback
- The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well
- By: Sheila Heen, Douglas Stone
- Narrated by: Sheila Heen, Douglas Stone
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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The coauthors of the New York Times best-selling Difficult Conversations take on the toughest topic of all: How we see ourselves. Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen have spent the past 15 years working with corporations, nonprofits, governments, and families to determine what helps us learn and what gets in our way. In Thanks for the Feedback, they explain why receiving feedback is so crucial yet so challenging. They blend the latest insights from neuroscience and psychology with practical, hard-headed advice.
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Poor narration ruins yet another good read
- By WordNerd on 08-25-14
By: Sheila Heen, and others
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Commit to Win
- How to Harness the Four Elements of Commitment to Reach Your Goals
- By: Heidi Reeder PhD
- Narrated by: Heidi Reeder PhD
- Length: 5 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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What do you need besides motivation and willpower? In Commit to Win, Heidi Reeder, PhD, unpacks over forty years of research by psychologists and economists to show that the key to reaching any goal, whether it’s to hit the gym more often or to finally quit that dead-end job, isn’t motivation, willpower, or determination. It’s commitment. Busting the myths most of us believe about commitment, Reeder shows that it all comes down to four variables.
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Practical, but misses passion
- By ANDRÉ on 11-07-14
By: Heidi Reeder PhD
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The Myth of the Nice Girl
- Achieving a Career You Love Without Becoming a Person You Hate
- By: Fran Hauser, Jodi Lipper
- Narrated by: Fran Hauser
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Myth of the Nice Girl, Fran Hauser deconstructs the negative perception of "niceness" that many women struggle with in the business world. If women are nice, they are seen as weak and ineffective, but if they are tough, they are labeled a bitch. Hauser proves that women don't have to sacrifice their values or hide their authentic personalities to be successful.
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meeeh
- By Cindy blunt on 12-04-18
By: Fran Hauser, and others
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Pretty Powerful
- Appearance, Substance, and Success
- By: Eboni K. Williams
- Narrated by: Eboni K. Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Women have been told that being pretty comes at the expense of being taken seriously. If a woman is physically attractive, there is often a presumption that she lacks the substance and smarts necessary to provide leadership. This narrative implies that being pretty and being capable are mutually exclusive. But in Pretty Powerful, Fox News political commentator and legal analyst Eboni Williams rejects that narrative. She says that to accept the false notion that beauty and power are mutually exclusive is to leave an incredibly powerful tool on the table.
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Much more insightful than what the title suggests
- By Felishia on 09-25-17
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Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life
- A Psychologist Investigates How Evolution, Cognition, and Complexity Are Revolutionizing Our View of Human Nature
- By: Douglas T. Kenrick
- Narrated by: Fred Stella
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Between what can be learned from evolutionary psychology and cognitive science a picture emerges. In Sex, Murder, and the Meaning of Life, social psychologist Douglas Kenrick fuses these two fields to create a coherent story of human nature. In his analysis, many ingrained, apparently irrational behaviors—one-night stands, prejudice, conspicuous consumption, even art and religious devotion—are quite explicable and (when desired) avoidable.
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Rather dated and self-aggrandizing
- By Laurie Frick on 07-21-11
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Though many of us can point to patterns of brokenness in our lives, we don't know why they're there. No matter how hard we work, we can't seem to outrun the very things that break our hearts. That's because our everyday setbacks are rooted in our unaddressed wounds. Guided by seminary-trained licensed trauma therapist Kobe Campbell, Why Am I Like This? will help you develop courage as you dare to turn your heart toward your brokenness, uncover uncomfortable truths, and learn how to invite God into your past and present pain.
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A NECESSARY PURCHASE!!!!
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What listeners say about The Person You Mean to Be
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Bina R.
- 06-12-19
Woke yet?
Brian Stevenson says it's time for Americans to deal with the Race Issue and hopefully one day put it behind us.
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- SBE
- 06-17-23
Valuably insightful
I recommend this book to anyone who seeks to promote the general welfare of all people. It includes relatable, thought provoking stories. I learned a lot from having read it and listened to the audible version.[
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- S. G.
- 03-12-20
Amazing
Fresh insight! It helps me be a better person! Highly recommend! Also, Dolly is funny. Absolutely delightful!
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- J R Cavanaugh
- 08-21-22
Life-changing Book
This author uses both light and gentle heat to get her points across.
This book kindly met me where I am.
Her explanation of the 20/60/20 rule and how to communicate with different groups is eye-opening.
This book will bounce on and off my loaner shelf.
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- Rachel Campbell
- 05-25-19
Wonderfully explains feelings I have and I have work to do
As a black man I've felt all kinds of things inside that I couldn't actually articulate until I read this book.
The book is well organized and breaks down how to think about bias and allyship. Packed with science, humor, and stories it delivers amazing content.
Dolly's humor and willingness to share her bad moments really halp this book land.
If you think you have room for improvement when it comes to bias (Spoiler: we all do). I highly recommend this book.
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- Patricia N Chiller
- 10-11-20
An educational read worthy of your time
Other than the derogatory comments about the President of the United States of America. this book has an enlightening way of realizing one’s shortfalls when it comes to being the person you mean to be. I liked the positive actions it recommended to make a difference in our current environments. Applicable today!
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-31-20
The Person You Mean to Be
Listening to The Person You Mean To Be was eye opening for me. As a Black woman I ready for the non Woke people get it like yesterday. However, this book educated me that there 60% of the people that are sitting on the fence need a voice of reason and patience.
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- L. Howe
- 07-29-21
For everyone
Everyone should listen to this. If you’ve been working in the area on Inclusion the last section gives really actionable ideas of how to affect change. It really is ‘how good people fight bias’
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- Amazon Customer
- 02-22-22
Fantastic read!
Loved it, wonderful and realistic scenarios. Awesome narrative and narrator. A non-threatening way to point out disparities.
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- Giselle Martin-Kniep
- 01-05-21
Excellent resource
Read this if you want to shift from being a culturally responsive believer to a builder.
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