The Witless Protection Program
A Catering Hall Mystery
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Narrated by:
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Devon Sorvari
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By:
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Maria DiRico
About this listen
Mia Carina has steered her Italian-American family's Astoria, Queens catering hall into becoming the borough's premiere party site, and nothing could make her happier—except her boyfriend proposing. There's just one presumed-dead obstacle in the way.
A strong, independent woman and respected entrepreneur, Mia never imagined she'd pine for a marriage proposal. Yet lately, with her beloved Shane, she's on tenterhooks. It's especially surprising, considering Mia's first husband, Adam, was a philandering grifter, assumed lost-at-sea after a boating disaster. But everyone knows what happens when you assume.
While working a huge wedding expo in Manhattan, Mia is shocked to spot the man who nearly destroyed her life. The one who's supposed to be sleeping with the fishes. But she loses him in the crowd. And when it happens again the next day, it's time for an emergency meeting with the family-and the Family. Because if Adam is alive, Mia is still married.
Everyone wants Adam dead. Everyone except Mia. She's dealt with enough police for a lifetime. Mia needs to be a divorcee, not a widow. But someone out there disagrees, and if Mia doesn't discover who, she may never be free to marry Shane.
©2024 Ellen Byron (P)2024 TantorListeners also enjoyed...
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It’s 1984, and life has changed beyond recognition. Airstrip One, formerly known as Great Britain, is a place where Big Brother is always watching, and nobody can hide. Except, perhaps, for Winston Smith. Whilst working at the Ministry of Truth, rewriting history, he secretly dreams of freedom. And in a world where love and sex are forbidden, where it’s hard to distinguish between friend and foe, he meets Julia and O’Brien and vows to rebel.
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A Revelation!
- By wotsallthisthen on 04-07-24
By: George Orwell, and others
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The Teacher's Lie
- By: Brid Cummings
- Narrated by: Mia Wasikowska
- Length: 10 hrs and 35 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s been two years since Anna Cartwright’s life fell apart. During her first school trip as a young teacher, a student went missing and was never found. Not only was her career ruined, she was also accused of having an affair with fellow teacher and prime suspect Graham. Facing questions from journalists, police and family, Anna said she didn’t know what happened. She was lying. Now, Anna has returned to Australia. Her only hope is Land’s End Area School, an isolated concrete wasteland perched on the cliffs.
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SLO-o-o-w
- By Karen M on 11-27-24
By: Brid Cummings
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7 Hours to Die
- By: James Patterson, Duane Swierczynski
- Narrated by: Sarah Paulson, Patina Miller, Mel Rodriguez, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 25 mins
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Kidnappers grabbed Jenna in broad daylight, right in front of her children and their horrified classmates. Her family was issued an insane ransom demand: $25 million in cash and jewels, payable by the end of the school day, otherwise they’ll never see her again. As Jenna’s mother scrambles to gather the money, detectives Mo Butler and George Ortega follow the trail of the kidnappers, which will lead them through a sordid landscape of jealous lovers, broken dreamers, and twisted schemers. But every second counts, and there’s one thing Jenna Wade doesn’t have: very much time.
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This was such a fun Quick listen
- By Mdc on 10-08-24
By: James Patterson, and others
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He's Gone
- By: Rebecca Collomosse
- Narrated by: Victoria Blunt, Cicely Whitehead, Joe Eyre
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
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My fiancé brought me tea and scrambled eggs in bed that morning, and we snuggled together, talking about buying our rings, and about our perfect wedding next year. Then we headed into town. He held my hand and gazed at the ring I liked best, a smile spreading slowly over his face. Then a glass of bubbly to celebrate. I felt flushed, excited and ready for the rest of my life with the man I loved. We race to get on the train home. It screams to a halt and I run towards its open doors. Made it. I think he’s right behind me — but when I turn around, he’s gone.
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Disappointing plot
- By TerriSweeta on 12-04-24
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Artemis
- By: Andy Weir
- Narrated by: Rosario Dawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
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Jazz Bashara is a criminal. Well, sort of. Life on Artemis, the first and only city on the moon, is tough if you're not a rich tourist or an eccentric billionaire. So smuggling in the occasional harmless bit of contraband barely counts, right? Not when you've got debts to pay and your job as a porter barely covers the rent. Everything changes when Jazz sees the chance to commit the perfect crime, with a reward too lucrative to turn down.
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A ferrari with no motor
- By will on 11-18-17
By: Andy Weir
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The Mysterious Affair at Styles
- By: Agatha Christie, Anna Lea - adaptation
- Narrated by: Peter Dinklage, Himesh Patel, Harriet Walter, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
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England, 1914. The world is at war. Captain Hastings, injured and shaken, is invited to Styles Court to recover. It’s a grand old country house - the family home of his old friend - and a perfect haven. Or so it seems. But in the blistering summer heat, trouble is afoot. Simmering tensions are tearing the family apart, and it all comes to a head in the most horrifying way.
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It’s a perfect audible movie!
- By Malissa Caudell on 11-15-24
By: Agatha Christie, and others
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Do You Remember?
- By: Freida McFadden
- Narrated by: Teri Schnaubelt
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
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Overall
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Tess Strebel can’t recognize her own face. She can’t recognize her home. Her bedroom is unfamiliar. And she can’t remember the handsome stranger lying next to her in bed. A stranger who claims he’s her husband. Tess reads a letter in her own handwriting, composed during a rare lucid day, explaining her life as it now exists: she was in a terrible car accident one year ago. Every morning, she wakes up unable to remember most of the last decade. Including her own wedding.
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Eh
- By Zoe on 03-16-24
By: Freida McFadden
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Excellent writing
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Maddie Baker just wants to make ends meet. She gave up her school librarian career to return to her hometown and take care of her elderly aunt. So when she starts making Uber runs to supplement her barista job, she never dreamt she’d not only drop a man off to his murder but be labeled a person of interest in his death. Detective Noah Langley is looking for a fresh start in a city with a lower crime rate and a fraction of the population of Memphis. It’s just what he needs to recover from a nightmare that left him severely injured and his teenage mentee dead.
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loved meeting these new characters!
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Camper and Criminals Cozy Mystery Boxed Set, Books 1-3
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Follow Mae West as she searches for clues to bring killers to justice in this Campers and Criminals Cozy Mystery bundle.
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Maybe it's a Southern thing
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Murder on Cape Cod
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Summer is busy season for Mackenzie "Mac" Almeida's bicycle shop, nestled in the quaint, seaside hamlet of Westham, Massachusetts. She's expecting an influx of tourists at Mac's Bikes; instead she discovers the body of Jake Lacey. Mac can't imagine anyone stabbing the down-on-his-luck handyman. However, the authorities seem to think Mac is a strong suspect after she was spotted arguing with Jake just hours before his death. Mac knows she didn't do it, but she does recognize the weapon - her brother Derrick's fishing knife.
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Save Your Credit
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What listeners say about The Witless Protection Program
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Tonya C
- 11-18-24
Can't wait.
The weddings seem like it would happen and then it does with a bang. Can't wait for the next book.
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- Amazon Customer
- 08-10-24
So good!
I wish this were a 25 book series! I love the writing, the narration, everything!
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- Keenan
- 04-09-24
Laugh Out Loud Funny
I love how the author intertwines a mystery plot with Mia's love life, her business, and New York City Italian culture. It's a delightful romp of a story that kept me guessing, made me laugh, and made me cry.
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- Holly
- 04-03-24
Another great one
I have loved this entire series. A nice cozy Murder mystery full of fun, laughs, and family.
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- Melissa A Timko
- 07-30-24
Excellent narration
Fun book and a great one to end the series with. Returning characters help create the wedding of the century and keep the laughs coming. An unexpected murder that makes everyone a suspect, along with creative wedding planning, keeps this story exciting & hilarious. The narration is excellent. If I wrote a book, I would hire her to read it.
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