When Kids Say They’re Trans
A Guide for Thoughtful Parents
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Narrated by:
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Kit Harvey
About this listen
Being the parent of a gender-questioning child is confusing. There is a lot of advice out there, but much of it goes against what many parents feel instinctively is the right approach. And the stakes are very high if you get it wrong.
There have been many books written for parents who are facilitating a child's gender transition, but almost none for parents who decide that social or medical transition is not the best option for their child.
Written by three professionals working in the field - Sasha Ayad, Lisa Marchiano and Stella O'Malley - When Kids Say They're Trans is explicitly a resource for parents who want their children to flourish, but do not believe that hasty medicalisation is the best way to ensure long-term health and well-being.
Parents who have successfully helped their children navigate gender distress without resorting to surgery and hormones have done so by actively taking the reins, not waiting until they found the right therapist or doctor. When Kids Say They're Trans will tell you all you need to know, and will give you the confidence to trust your own instincts.
©2023 Sasha Ayad, Lisa Marchiano, Stella O'Malley (P)2023 Swift Press AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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The Journey of the Heroic Parent
- Your Child's Struggle & The Road Home
- By: Brad M. Reedy Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When a child is hurting, it can be the most painful challenge a parent will face. With compassion and perspective, Dr. Brad Reedy offers hope and wisdom for children who struggle and the parents who love them. The Journey of the Heroic Parent will take you on a journey to a happier, healthier relationship with your struggling child - and yourself. Through lessons learned, mother, father, and child will achieve greater understanding, love, and humanity - no matter what the outcome.
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Loved it! Will read over again and again!
- By wooplicity on 06-21-15
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Raising Girls
- By: Steve Biddulph
- Narrated by: Damien Warren-Smith
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Steve Biddulph's Raising Boys was a global phenomenon. The first book in a generation to look at boys' specific needs, parents loved its clarity and warm insights into their sons' inner world. But today, things have changed. It's girls that are in trouble. There has been a sudden and universal deterioration in girls' mental health, starting in primary school and devastating the teen years. Steve Biddulph's Raising Girls is both a guidebook and a call to arms for parents.
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Really helpful and Grounded
- By KFluke on 01-26-23
By: Steve Biddulph
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The Wonder of Boys
- By: Michael Gurian
- Narrated by: Michael Gurian
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Abridged
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What can parents, mentors, and educators do to shape boys into exceptional men? Michael Gurian, a respected therapist, storyteller, and recognized expert in family systems, explains the basic needs of every boy: a primary and extended family, a relationship with mother, father, and mentors, and support from his community.
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Great Book for Mothers and Fathers
- By Janine on 05-20-09
By: Michael Gurian
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The Available Parent
- Expert Advice for Raising Successful and Resilient Teens and Tweens
- By: John Duffy
- Narrated by: David Colacci
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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We have a tendency today to over-parent, micromanage, and underappreciate our adolescents. Dr. John Duffy's The Available Parent is a revolutionary approach to taking care of teens and tweens. The available parent of a teenager is open to discussion, offering advice and solutions but not insisting on them. He allows his child to make some mistakes, setting limits, primarily where health and safety are concerned. He never lectures - he is available but not controlling. He is neither cruel nor dismissive, ever....
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Parenting teens can be much less stressful!
- By Kathi on 06-12-14
By: John Duffy
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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When Friendship Hurts
- How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You
- By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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We’ve all had friendships that have gone bad. Whether it takes the form of a simple yet inexplicable estrangement or a devastating betrayal, a failed friendship can make your life miserable, threaten your success at work or school, and even undermine your romantic relationships. Finally there is help. In When Friendship Hurts, Jan Yager, recognized internationally as a leading expert on friendship, explores what causes friendships to falter and explains how to mend them - or end them.
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Boring and patronizing
- By KDS on 11-17-22
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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The Codependency Recovery Plan
- A 5-Step Guide to Understand, Accept, and Break Free from the Codependent Cycle
- By: Krystal Mazzola M.Ed LMFT
- Narrated by: Linda Henning
- Length: 4 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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You can say no. You can stop people-pleasing and start setting boundaries. You can ask for what you need. You can love and be loved - without sacrifice - by breaking the codependency cycle. The Codependency Recovery Plan empowers you to have healthy, happy interdependent relationships. This actionable five-step program is designed to help you get in touch with yourself, assert boundaries, and communicate confidently. You’ll be free to nurture true intimacy.
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Great content, audio not for the neurodiverse
- By Danielle A on 01-30-23
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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Born for Love
- Why Empathy Is Essential - and Endangered
- By: Bruce D. Perry, Maia Szalavitz
- Narrated by: Corey M. Snow
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection - a bond made possible by empathy, the remarkable ability to love and to share the feelings of others. In this unforgettable book, award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz and renowned child psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry explain how empathy develops, why it is essential both to human happiness and for a functional society, and how it is threatened in a modern world.
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Born for Love is a Rallying Call for Caring and Cry for Help
- By Jeffrey Olsen on 09-24-18
By: Bruce D. Perry, and others
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Some interesting points, but extremely biased
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A must read for anyone who cares about trans kids.
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Teenage girls are taking courses of testosterone and disfiguring their bodies. Parents are undermined; experts are over-relied upon; dissenters in science and medicine are intimidated; free speech truckles under renewed attack; socialized medicine bears hidden consequences; and an intersectional era has arisen in which the desire to escape a dominant identity encourages individuals to take cover in victim groups. Every person who has ever had a skeptical thought about the sudden rush toward a non-binary future but been afraid to express it - this book is for you.
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Kids today are more gender fluent and expansive than ever before. In America, around two percent of teenagers (over 700,000) openly identify as transgender. As it becomes increasingly common for us to encounter and know transgender kids, as well as kids with more expansive notions of gender than past generations, it is vital that we have the tools we need in order to truly see and support them. Free to Be is an authoritative deep dive by internationally renowned child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Jack Turban into the science, medicine, and politics of gender identity.
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Have you heard that language is violence and that science is sexist? Have you read that certain people shouldn't practice yoga? Or been told that being obese is healthy, that there is no such thing as biological sex, or that only White people can be racist? Are you confused by these ideas, and do you wonder how they have managed to challenge the logic of Western society? In this probing volume, Helen Pluckrose and James Lindsay document the evolution of the dogma that informs these ideas, from its coarse origins in French postmodernism to its refinement within activist academic fields.
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Vast Amount of Jargon Lost Me
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Hey, I'm Jamie, a 29-year-old trans guy from the UK. I've been transitioning for 12 years now after realising I was trans (by accident!) at sixteen years old. I knew I was a boy since the age of four, but realised whilst growing up that I was different. It was only in my teens that I found the words to express who I was and what I needed to do. Since then, I've been on testosterone for more than a decade - I know, I can't believe it either - I've also had top and bottom surgery and legally changed my sex, so I know a few things about the transitioning process and being trans!
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Leading psychotherapist Stella O’Malley has walked many miles on ‘Planet Teen’. She understands difficult teenagers – she was one herself, and as a psychotherapist she has spent many hours working alongside unhappy adolescents. Stella takes parents inside the teenage brain and provides practical advice for each of the key milestones teenagers need to tackle during adolescence to become happy, healthy adults.
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Solid advice for parents of teenagers
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In this book, The Queering of the American Child, Logan Lancing and James Lindsay explain what Queer Theory is, where it comes from, how it got into schools, and what it's doing to children nationwide. The cult of Queer Theory preys on children, and it must be understood if we are ever to stop the madness.
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cult connection
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Covering American transgender history from the mid-20th century to today, Transgender History takes a chronological approach to the subject of transgender history, with each chapter covering major movements, writings, and events.
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The Canceling of the American Mind
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Cancel culture is a new phenomenon, and The Canceling of the American Mind is the first book to codify it and survey its effects, including hard data and research on what cancel culture is and how it works, along with hundreds of new examples showing the left and right both working to silence their enemies.
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In Motherhood, Marchiano draws from a deep well of Jungian analysis and symbolic research to present a collection of fairytales, myths, and fables that evoke the spiritual arc of raising a child from infancy through adulthood. Divided into three major segments similar to the stages of a hero's initiatory journey, (Descent, Sojourn, and Return), Motherhood charts how events like pregnancy, the calamities of childhood, and the empty-nest experience are all parts of an odyssey to which every mother receives an invitation.
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Incredible. Validating. Insightful.
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You're Teaching My Child What?
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If you think sex education is still about the birds and the bees, think again. And it's not about science either. In her shocking exposé, You're Teaching My Child What?, Dr. Miriam Grossman rips back the curtain on sex education today, exposing a sordid truth. Today's sex ed programs aren't based on science; they're based on liberal lies and politically correct propaganda that promote the illusion that children (yes, children) can be sexually free without risk.
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Finally, a logical perspective!
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The T Guide
- Our Trans Experiences and a Celebration of Gender Expression—Man, Woman, Nonbinary, and Beyond
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In this fabulous, fashion-forward guide, transgender icons Gigi Gorgeous and Gottmik discuss the ins and outs of being transgender with their honest, hilarious, and GORGEOUS tales of what it means to be true to oneself—and they've picked up a few friends along the way. Whether you're embarking on your own transgender journey or seeking the knowledge to be the best ally you can be, there is something to be learned from every story they tell.
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So great to hear from their personal lives!
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Leading a cultural revolution driven by identity politics and so-called 'social justice', the new puritanism movement is best understood as a religion - one that makes grand claims to moral purity and tolerates no dissent. In The New Puritans, Andrew Doyle powerfully examines the underlying belief-systems of this ideology and how it has risen so rapidly to dominate all major political, cultural and corporate institutions. He reasons that, to move forward, we need to understand where these New Puritans came from and what they hope to achieve.
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Hero speaking truth
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What listeners say about When Kids Say They’re Trans
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- shelda
- 10-24-23
An essential read
I am a mother of a rapid onset trans-identifying teen and a primary care clinician with nearly 30 years of professional experience. I have found myself completely shocked at the lack of critical thinking around the exponential increase in trans kids, biological females in particular. I have long asked ‘what’s going on?’ Only to be hushed and ‘othered’ by social progressives in my community. Reading this book has helped me regain my confidence as a mom and healthcare provider. The book clearly explains concepts and asks the questions every adult with influence on adolescents should be considering. We should not shy away from this social discourse- our children’s identities and health depend on it.
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- kris kaliebe
- 10-05-23
I’m a child psychiatrist, and will be referring families to this book.
This is an excellent combination of accumulated wisdom from 3 therapists. The world has needed a book like this for years. I’ll be frequently recommending it.
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- Marie
- 09-10-23
Highly recommend – a unique book
I‘ve been studying this phenomenon for almost three years from a sociologically interested writer’s perspective, and I’ve found Ayad and O’Malley to be beacons of light in the field (through their excellent podcast Gender: A Wider Lens I also found Marchiano). They’re educated, exceptionally experienced, warm, compassionate and level-headed and see young people from a broader perspective, focusing on personality rather than gender. This book is a crash course in all things gender and a reassurance that a gender distressed kid without a doubt can come to live a positive, meaningful, fulfilling life without being “affirmed”. Can’t recommend this book highly enough.
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- Lisa J. Shultz
- 09-21-23
Solid and sound
This book is a solid and sound guide for parents of young kids who say they are trans. Parents need all the tips provided. I particularly liked the suggestions for what to ask during the surgical consultation before a daughter's mastectomy. Another valuable section is self-care for parents. A few quotes in the self-care chapter that stood out to me:
"The plight of parents of trans identifying young people is uniquely difficult...none are quite like the upside down experience of seeing your beloved child deny her bodily reality and seek harmful and unnecessary medical procedures while the world around you cheers her on and condemns you for being a bigot. For many, this harrowing experience can be the most difficult challenge you have ever faced. And yet sympathy from one's family, friends and community may be in short supply."
"Parents are often in the doubly difficult position of facing the worst pain of their lives, while having their feelings and experiences invalidated. While we are dealing with devastating loss, we may be told we should be happy or proud while going through the agony of grief."
There are multiple appendix sections of terminology, social and political movements, common co-existing conditions and much more, which is also helpful. The glossary of terms is also useful. I recommend this book to any parent who finds themselves in the worst nightmare of their lives, losing a child to trans ideology and trans medicalization. Listen to it and share it to help other parents.
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- Christine Neal
- 04-02-24
The information for parents is very good.
I liked the insights, the easy to follow logic, and the reading of the book.
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