You Were Always Mom's Favorite
Sisters in Conversation Throughout Their Lives
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Narrated by:
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Deborah Tannen
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By:
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Deborah Tannen
About this listen
Conversations between sisters reveal a deep and constant tug between two dynamics - an impulse towards closeness and an impulse towards competition, as sisters are continually compared to each other. When you're with her, you laugh your head off, and can giggle and be silly like when you were kids. But she also might be the one person who can send you into a tailspin with just one wrong word. For many women, a sister is both.
With a witty and wise voice, Tannen shares insights and anecdotes from well over 100 women she interviewed, along with moving and funny recollections of her own two sisters. You'll come away with a profound new understanding, as well as effective techniques to improve and accessible solutions for problems in this unique and precious relationship.
©2009 Deborah Tannen (P)2009 HighBridge CompanyListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
The word "shanda" is defined as shame or disgrace in Yiddish. This book, Shanda, tells the story of three generations of complicated, intense twentieth-century Jews for whom the desire to fit in and the fear of public humiliation either drove their aspirations or crushed their spirit. In her deeply engaging, astonishingly candid memoir, author and activist Letty Cottin Pogrebin exposes the fiercely-guarded lies and intricate cover-ups woven by dozens of members of her extended family.
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Beautifully Written!
- By Adele Aron Greenspun on 01-12-23
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Transitions of the Heart
- Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
- By: Rachel Pepper - editor
- Narrated by: Elisabeth Rodgers
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Transitions of the Heart is the first collection to ever invite mothers of transgender and gender variant children of all ages to tell their own stories about their child’s gender transition. Often transitioning socially and emotionally alongside their child but rarely given a voice in the experience, mothers hold the key to familial and societal understanding of gender difference.
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Heartfelt, Well-Written, and Moving
- By Susie on 01-04-13
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Identical Strangers
- A Memoir of Twins Separated and Reunited
- By: Elyse Schein, Paula Bernstein
- Narrated by: Alma Cuervo, Effie Johnson
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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This is the astonishing true story of Elyse Schein and Paula Bernstein, who shared a personal history for more than three decades - and didn't know it. In her mid-30s, Schein finally decided to call an adoption agency to learn about her biological mother. Not expecting much, she instead got the surprise of her life. Her identical twin sister, Bernstein, lived just minutes away.
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What if you are a twin and don't know it?
- By Joanne on 07-15-08
By: Elyse Schein, and others
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The Secrets of Happy Families
- Surprising New Ideas to Bring More Togetherness, Less Chaos, and Greater Joy
- By: Bruce Feiler
- Narrated by: Bruce Feiler
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author and New York Times family columnist Bruce Feiler found himself squeezed between caring for aging parents and raising his children. So he set out on a three-year journey to find the smartest solutions and the most cutting-edge research about families. Instead of the usual family "experts", he sought out the most creative minds - from Silicon Valley to the set of Modern Family, from the country's top negotiators to the Green Berets - and asked them what team-building exercises and problem-solving techniques they use with their families.
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Well worth reading, even if you can't do it all!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-13
By: Bruce Feiler
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Things I've Been Silent About
- By: Azar Nafisi
- Narrated by: Naila Azad
- Length: 13 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Azar Nafisi, author of the beloved international best seller Reading Lolita in Tehran, now gives us a stunning personal story of growing up in Iran, memories of her life lived in thrall to a powerful and complex mother, against the background of a country's political revolution.
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Family portrait in the frame of history
- By Galina COS on 07-02-16
By: Azar Nafisi
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Committed
- A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage
- By: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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At the end of her best-selling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert fell in love with Felipe, a Brazilian-born man of Australian citizenship who'd been living in Indonesia when they met. Resettling in America, the couple swore eternal fidelity to each other, but also swore to never, ever, under any circumstances get legally married. But providence intervened one day in the form of the United States government....
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Perfect timing
- By Nancy on 01-15-10
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The Attachment Effect
- Exploring the Powerful Ways Our Earliest Bond Shapes Our Relationships and Lives
- By: Peter Lovenheim
- Narrated by: Graham Winton
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Attachment theory is having a moment. Recently covered in the New York Times Magazine, New York magazine, and elsewhere, it's also the subject of popular relationship guides. Why is this 60-year-old theory, widely accepted in psychological circles, suddenly in vogue? Because people are discovering how powerfully it sheds light on who we love - and how. Fascinated by the subject, award-winning journalist and author Peter Lovenheim went on a years-long journey to understand it from the inside out.
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Failed to Attach
- By Danielle SeCheverell on 07-21-20
By: Peter Lovenheim
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Where the Past Begins
- A Writer's Memoir
- By: Amy Tan
- Narrated by: Amy Tan
- Length: 14 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Moving from her childhood in Oakland and growing up with her Chinese parents through her success as a novelist, Amy Tan delves into her creative interests in music, the paralysis of beginning a new project, journal writing, and travelling. Where the Past Begins chronicles the making of a writer. With characteristic humor and poignant observation, Tan weaves a nontraditional introspective narrative that is as complex and vibrant as this beloved American novelist's fiction.
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Narration Issues
- By Sara on 12-14-17
By: Amy Tan
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The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption
- Helping Your Child Grow up Whole
- By: Lori Holden, Crystal Hass
- Narrated by: Meredith Mitchell
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Open adoption isn't just something parents do when they exchange photos, send emails, share a visit. It's a lifestyle that may feel intrusive at times, be difficult or inconvenient at other times. Tensions can arise even in the best of circumstances. But knowing how to handle these situations and how to continue to make arrangements work for the child involved is paramount. This book offers listeners the tools and the insight to do just that.
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Who is talking?
- By Robert on 06-26-18
By: Lori Holden, and others
What listeners say about You Were Always Mom's Favorite
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Carin
- 11-17-11
A must read/listen for anyone with a sister!
The holidays are always rough. As Sally says in "When Harry Met Sally": “A lot of suicides.” And while family is supposed to make things better, they can often make things worse. I have two younger sisters, and we’ve had difficult relationships at times. (We get along currently and I’d like things to stay that way.) So in preparation for Christmas, I downloaded Deborah Tannen’s You Were Always Mom’s Favorite! (do I even need to give you the subtitle? That title is so perfect, you’ve got to already know it’s about sisters. But if you insist, it is: Sisters in Conversation Throughout Their Lives.) I listened to it on the way to my sister’s house, and on the way home (I will be seeing them again this weekend). Deborah Tannen is an academic so this is backed with real research, but she’s great at writing for a general audience and giving concrete examples. And she’s also a youngest sister. She’s done hundreds of interviews with sisters (why no brothers? Because they don’t talk to each other or to their sisters, and it’s hard to have communication issues when there’s no communication. You don’t have to like it, but that’s how things are.)
It’s been absolutely fascinating. For instance, it never occurred to me when I went away to college that younger sisters can see that as a “decision” that I had control over (it was absolutely assumed I was going to college and I really didn’t think I had a choice. And as for going away, my father was angry I went to a college “only” 400 miles away as he wanted me to experience life in another part of the country.) And I also didn’t realize that this “decision” impacted them. The family dynamics were different when I was gone. And even more so on the youngest sister when the middle sister left too. So sometimes the youngest child can be resentful of the oldest ones going away, but the older kids don’t necessarily have any idea why the younger is mad. (Would this explain why my youngest sister went as far away as geographically possible in the continental US?) Ms. Tannen herself felt abandoned by her older sisters when they went off to college and got married.
She also talks about the confluence of “competition” and “comparison” (what is more often the latter often sometimes gets confused with the former.) For instance, one thing that marginalizes the younger children is when people meet two sisters for the first time they’ll usually ask “who’s older?” Never “who’s younger?” By default that implies that “older” is what you want to be and therefore is better. Makes perfect sense although again, had never occurred to me before.
Another potential issue she brings up is that frequently when there are more than 2 sisters, the last sister is always assumed to have been conceived in hopes of having a boy. Many youngest sisters report that is normally the first question they are asked when their family is explained: “Did your parents wish you were a boy?” No one means to be hurtful in saying that but we should all watch what we say. (For the record, no, my parents actually didn’t want a boy when my youngest sister was born.)
While I lived in New York I was in therapy for a bit (everyone was. It’s THE thing to do in New York) and I learned that often just understanding where other people are coming from helps a relationship immensely. It affects the dynamic and when you change how you relate to people, suddenly you stop having the same disagreements. Now I’m not claiming this book fixed everything and my sisters and I will never exchange a cross word again, but it was enlightening. And I particularly feel vindicated when Ms. Tannen says after all her research, she is now very sympathetic and understanding to the plight of oldest sisters.
Ms. Tannen is an adequate narrator, but she runs things together at times so it’s hard to know when there’s a new chapter or a section break or if what she just read is a section header. I do like listening to books read by the author, but occasionally it can be obvious this person isn’t a professional reader.
I have been talking about this book for days to anyone who will listen. It is truly fascinating, particularly for anyone who has a sister.
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3 people found this helpful
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- sgemmerson
- 04-09-22
OK
Good information but the narrator needs to learn to control her saliva. Lots of very audible swallowing and lip-licking. It’s gross.
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