The Emotional Incest Syndrome
What to Do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life
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Narrated by:
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Laural Merlington
About this listen
Do these "endearments" sound familiar to you?
"Of all my children, I expect the most of you." Translation: I've selected you to be the one to make my life worth living.
"You've never caused me a minute of trouble." Translation: Ignore your own needs, I can't handle them.
"You're the only one who truly understands me." Translation: I would be totally alone if it weren't for you.
If so, you may have been a "chosen child", seemingly the focus of loving and devoted parents, but in reality a child walking a psychological tightrope - learning early on to deny your own needs in order to meet the emotional needs of a parent. Today, there is a name for this devastating form of child abuse: emotional incest. Here, Dr. Patricia Love offers adults real hope - and help - in overcoming the hurtful legacy of being a chosen child. Based on proven therapeutic techniques and using real-life case histories, her total program of recovery will help you identify the signs of emotional incest, confront your parents - and your past - with love and understanding, disentangle your life from theirs, and create a positive relationship with your parents - and your own children.
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Following the tremendous success of her New York Times best sellers, Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives and How Could You Do That?!, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the conscience of talk radio, now addresses the stupid things men do that diminish their lives and happiness. With real-world examples from her radio show and strikingly honest letters from her male listeners, her book reveals that many men demonstrate a level of sensitivity and insight that will surprise most women.
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Loved it!
- By Ethan on 03-21-18
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The Fatherless Daughter Project
- Understanding Our Losses and Reclaiming Our Lives
- By: Denna D. Babul RN, Karin Luise PhD
- Narrated by: Tara Ochs, PhD Karin Luise, RN Denna D. Babul
- Length: 9 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Motherless Daughters was published 20 years ago, it unleashed a tsunami of healing awareness. When Denna Babul and Karin Luise couldn't find the equivalent book for fatherlessness, The Fatherless Daughter Project was born. The book will set fatherless women on the path to growth and fulfillment by helping them to understand how their losses have impacted their lives.
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very healing and tremendously helpful
- By R. Mccloud on 01-14-18
By: Denna D. Babul RN, and others
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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When Dad Hurts Mom
- Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse
- By: Lundy Bancroft
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 10 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it's physical or "just" emotional abuse, whether it's aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.
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Great information. Not the best narrator.
- By RT on 06-28-19
By: Lundy Bancroft
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Love Is a Choice
- The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
- By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minirth, Dr. Paul Meier
- Narrated by: Christopher Solimene
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In Love Is a Choice, best-selling doctors Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier walk you through their 10 proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.
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Great book, horrible Performance
- By Jeff on 03-15-18
By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, and others
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Strong Mothers, Strong Sons
- Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men
- By: Meg Meeker
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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From the moment a mother holds her newborn son, his eyes tell her that she is his world. But often, as he grows up, the boy who needs her simultaneously pushes her away. Calling upon thirty years of experience as a pediatrician, Meg Meeker, MD, a highly sought-after national speaker, assistant professor of clinical medicine, and mother of four, shares the secrets that every mother needs to know in order to strengthen-or rebuild-her relationship with her son.
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Update of wording in your book is required
- By danamc on 08-27-18
By: Meg Meeker
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Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin
- How to Recognize and Set Healthy Boundaries
- By: Anne Katherine MA
- Narrated by: Pam Ward
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Have you recently walked away from a date or a conversation feeling uncomfortable or violated? Are you looking for ways to set limits with your spouse, kids, parents, or boss? This essential guide to setting and respecting boundaries is for anyone wanting to better understand themselves and others. Just as a cut in our skin causes pain and injury, a breach of any of our physical, emotional, or sexual boundaries can be very harmful to our bodies and minds.
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Not exactly for tailored for the Male reader
- By Matt on 04-26-22
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Divorce Poison
- How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing
- By: Dr. Richard A. Warshak
- Narrated by: Daniel Penz
- Length: 14 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Your ex-spouse is bad-mouthing you to your children, perhaps even trying to turn them against you. If you handle the situation ineffectively, your relationship with your children could suffer. This groundbreaking work gives parents powerful strategies to preserve and rebuild loving relationships with their children and provides legal and mental health professionals with practical advice to help their clients and ensure the welfare of children.
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Required Reading
- By Christine Manning on 11-09-15
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We Love Each Other, But . . .
- Simple Secrets to Strengthen Your Relationship and Make Love Last
- By: Ellen Wachtel
- Narrated by: Joyce Bean
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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We Love Each Other, But... offers simple, practical tips that will help you restore and strengthen a relationship that has gone off track. It lays out the nuts and bolts of building relationships so they continue to be gratifying over the long haul. Dr. Ellen Wachtel shows how, even when you feel like giving up on a relationship or marriage, you can recapture why you fell in love in the first place. Dr. Wachtel promises that there is more and suggests simple ways to keep vitality in relationships.
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Some interesting material
- By Scott on 10-25-12
By: Ellen Wachtel
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Joint Custody with a Jerk
- Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex
- By: Judy Corcoran, Julie A. Ross, MA
- Narrated by: Randye Kaye
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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It's a fact that parenting is hard enough in a family where two parents love and respect each other. After divorce, when the respect has diminished and the love has often turned to intense dislike, co-parenting can be nearly impossible, driving one or both parents to the brink of insanity. Joint Custody with a Jerk offers many proven communication techniques that help you deal with your difficult ex-husband or ex-wife.
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Victim blaming
- By Michelle Johann on 08-31-18
By: Judy Corcoran, and others
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Enlightening for women who dated a MEM
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Not exactly for tailored for the Male reader
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If I Can Bear Witness, I Must
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Convoluted
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Could be much shorter
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
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The trauma and grief of growing up in an alcoholic or addicted family create a lifetime of baggage. If you grew up in an addicted family, the dysfunction that permeated every aspect of your childhood may have seemed "normal", and you may not even realize the level of affect alcohol still has on your adult life - whether or not you drink. If you are one of the millions of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs), the cost of your childhood pain can be unbearable. You may have learned how to "survive", but are you "living" your life?
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Very Helpful
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When Parents Hurt
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This unique book supports parents who are struggling with the heartache of having a teenager or an adult child who is troubled, angry, or distant. Such rifts can cause unspeakable sorrow that parents too often must bear alone. Psychologist and parent Joshua Coleman, PhD, offers insight, empathy, and perspective to those who have lost the opportunity to be the parents they desperately wanted to be and who are mourning the loss of a harmonious relationship with their child.
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Not worth tour time...
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Walking on Eggshells
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We raise our children to be independent and lead fulfilling lives, but when they finally do, staying close becomes more complicated than ever. And for every bewildered mother who wonders why her children don't call, there is a frustrated son or daughter who just wants to be treated like a grownup. Now, renowned editor Jane Isay delivers the perfect gift to both parents and their adult children-real-life wisdom and advice on how to stay together without falling apart.
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Disappointed
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What listeners say about The Emotional Incest Syndrome
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Adara
- 11-25-22
If you relate to anything in this book, you need therapy.
But you are so worth it. This book is very eye opening and helpful in navigating relationships.
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- Sanwirt
- 01-22-21
Amazing
I have just begun my journey for self healing and I could never explain why I was so miserable...this book gave me an answer. There was so much that I had gone through that I didn’t know wasn’t normal. I can finally begin my road to recovery thanks to this book. I will listen many times over!!!
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1 person found this helpful
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- Beazus
- 09-29-22
Stimulates healing
Even if the chosen child isn’t your dominant childhood wound, you’ll find it’s dimensionality in your own life or those near and near. This is a must read for anyone seeking self-healing and better relationships.
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Overall
- Jason
- 07-30-18
an eye opener!
highly recommend for every adult who is unsure where their relationship difficulties originated from. Helped to put pieces together and explain things were not understood before
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
- Amazon Customer
- 07-22-18
Life Changer!!!
I have already recommending and gifted out this book to friends and family. I gave a copy to my therapist. I cant recommend enough. This book providing a lot more language and clarity into unhealthy parent child boundaries and how it effects everyone involved. She gives really good examples and exercises. I'm going to reread and go back to many times as a reference. Thank you Dr. Love!!!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Savvy Shopper
- 04-16-17
Helpful with multiple areas
While not perfect, this book helped me understand multiple areas in family systems type stuff. Also, as an adult man I'm a bit biased and the narrator was difficult listening to. But I got through it by just imagining what it would sound like if a man read it.
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- Edgar Rodriguez
- 06-18-20
Highly Recommended
A very common yet misunderstood phenomenon, it’s good for all adults to learn this, whether you’re a parent or want to become one, or don’t.
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- E.M.
- 03-15-23
Eye Opening and Illuminating
A well-thought out and surprisingly personable work about the affects of our conditioned life experiences. Self-awareness leading to understanding of boundaries in life is pressed home through the authors voice. Excellent self-help book.
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- TH
- 04-14-22
Outdated and sympathetic to abusive parents
I think it’s a red flag when books designed to help you learn about the abuse you endured are sympathetic to parents. This book regularly says some variation of “they did their best”. Having personally been the victim of a sexually emotional incestuous relationship, I don’t need more sympathy for my abuser. I needed sympathy for myself then and I need sympathy for myself now. And the abusive person should be held accountable.
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- jeanius
- 08-02-21
Great first half, fell short of good advice
The first half was eye opening and validating. The second half lacked advice and it was terrible. Too bad. It was like “yes this is me” then “now what do I do?” And it left me hanging..
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4 people found this helpful