Funny Science Fiction

When petty criminal Cal Carver is locked in a cell with a deranged, semi-naked cannibal, he suspects his life has hit its lowest point. He is mistaken. Abducted by aliens and whisked across the galaxy, Cal is thrown into a team of misfits and criminals and sent on a top secret mission for the president of Space. And that's when everything starts to go very, very wrong....

Meet Vanessa Cordero. A cynic with a colorful past. You see, in college, Vanessa devised a profitable side gig: For a reasonable fee, she’d date your latest crush...and make his life miserable. Too clingy? Check. Jealous? Check. A mother's worst nightmare? Check, check, check. By the time Vanessa was done with him, your guy would be ready for...YOU.

From the international bestselling author of The Cursed Thief and The Blood King comes a harrowing thrill ride through an apocalyptic New York City! My name is Frank Moon, and I’m surrounded by death. Until today, I thought I’d seen everything in my time as a cop. Nope, not even close. Believe it or not, a meteor just landed in Central Park! The damn thing brought along a hellish radiation too. The strobing red emission has altered the genetic code of the people who witnessed it enter Earth’s atmosphere. Lucky for me, I was too busy binge-watching my favorite TV show or I would’ve ...

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.

A Kink in Time: Where Reality Fractures in a Post-Apocalyptic Hunt In a desolate wasteland of ruined cities and rusted droids, Ethan and his team hunt the last remnants of vampiric terror. Or do they? In this post-apocalyptic world, the lines between truth and illusion blur, leaving one question chillingly unanswered: Are you sure you know what's real? Ethan, hardened by war and fueled by vengeance, leads his specialized crew on what they believe is a routine vampire hunt. But their latest expedition within a forgotten building unveils a shocking truth - maybe their enemy isn't who they ...

The Laconian Empire has fallen, setting the 1,300 solar systems free from the rule of Winston Duarte. But the ancient enemy that killed the gate builders is awake, and the war against our universe has begun again.

Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter, and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance. But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries.

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

In this fifth book in the Magykal series, Septimus ends up on a captivatingly beautiful island, one of seven set in a sparkling sea. He's stranded there with his badly injured dragon, Spit Fyre, along with Jenna and Beetle. There are some strange things about the island, including a Magykal girl named Syrah, a cat-shaped lighthouse that has lost its Light, and an eerie presence that sings to Septimus - can he escape the persistent call?

Once upon a time, there was a king and queen in a land called Love's Keep who once loved one another, but alas, no more. Without love, they were doomed to be ousted from their kingdom at the end of a year and a day. A year and a day passed. This is where their story starts. Imelda and Ambrose can't remember why they got married. A year and a day ago, Ambrose consulted a witch, trading their love to save Imelda's life - and they've been stuck with one another ever since.

Pandemonium: a twilight dimension of nightmare creatures, mythical beings, the undead, and everything in between. To Dead Jack, it’s hell sweet hell. In the first book of the series, the tortured, drug-addicted detective and his associate, the homunculus Oswald, face rogue leprechauns, ghost pirates, a sex-obsessed shark woman, sycophantic ghouls, an insecure fire demon, and a goateed maniac who calls himself the Duke of Pandemonium.

Includes books one through four in the AL:ICE series: AL:ICE, AL:ICE-9, AL:ICE: Resurrection, and AL:ICE: Space War.

Elijah Muddle’s life changed in an instant. The son of a spiteful and mean manure farmer, Elijah now has become an apprentice to the town’s warlock, Caliban. The chance to escape his terrible father and learn magic? It’s a dream come true! Until...it turns out that Elijah’s internal magic is wonky, and he is the absolute worst warlock ever - all his spells go wildly wrong, causing both hilarious and disastrous consequences all over town.

The story is supposed to be over. Simon Snow did everything he was supposed to do. He beat the villain. He won the war. He even fell in love. Now comes the good part, right? Now comes the happily ever after.... So why can’t Simon Snow get off the couch? What he needs, according to his best friend, is a change of scenery. That’s how Simon and Penny and Baz end up in a vintage convertible, tearing across the American West. They find trouble, of course. (Dragons, vampires, skunk-headed things with shotguns.) And they get lost.

Fifi is one of the kindest fairies in all of Sunflower Grove. She will do anything in her power to help maintain the magic of the home that she loves so much. When something - or someone - appears to be stealing precious water from the soil, Fifi and her fairy friends will stop at nothing to restore the nature around them, even if it means going up against one of their own. If you like magic, kid's fairy tales and stories with heart, you'll love The Fairies of Sunflower Grove series!

I ran from home to escape heartbreak, only to deliver myself into the hands of a wolf. Henry Wolf, that is. Heir to a luxury hotel chain, infamous playboy, arrogant bastard...and my new boss. Why he wants me, Abbi Mitchell - a girl who lacks experience on every front that would matter to him - as his personal assistant, I cannot fathom, especially when I keep messing up in the most spectacular way. Did I already mention he's a bastard? A beautiful, moody one, who's quick to demand, slow to apologize. And toying with me every chance he gets.

Captain Willard Phule has whipped his troops into shape, turning Phule's Company from the laughingstock of the Legion into...a crack team of casino security guards. Now his company is deployed to help an underdeveloped planet. And what better way to utilize their major area of expertise - goofing off - than to turn the planet into the biggest intergalactic playground ever?

Doug wasn’t sure whether he should trust Satan. The red flag was that he said he was Satan. But the deal was good: Listen to Satan’s story in exchange for some donuts. And Doug only half-fulfilled his part of the bargain. But maybe he should have listened better, because during his friend Bryce’s next scheme (theft with light to moderate treason - the usual), Doug and the rest of his friends - Lulu (the fun one) and Charlene (the not fun one) - end up with a powerful artifact, a small metal cube with world-ending power that Lulu decorated with bunnies.

Millions of people visit xkcd.com each week to read Randall Munroe's iconic webcomic. His stick-figure drawings about science, technology, language, and love have a large and passionate following. Fans of xkcd ask Munroe a lot of strange questions. What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90 percent of the speed of light? How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live? If there were a robot apocalypse, how long would humanity last?

Lara has only one thought for her husband on their wedding day: I will bring your kingdom to its knees. A princess trained from childhood to be a lethal spy, Lara knows that the Bridge Kingdom represents both legendary evil - and legendary promise. The only route through a storm-ravaged world, the Bridge Kingdom controls all trade and travel between lands, allowing its ruler to enrich himself and deprive his enemies, including Lara’s homeland. So when she is sent as a bride under the guise of fulfilling a treaty of peace, Lara is prepared to do whatever it takes....