Constituent Service
A Third District Story
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Narrated by:
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Amber Benson
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By:
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John Scalzi
About this listen
The aliens are here ... and they want municipal services!
Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself.
And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
It's Parks and Recreation meets the Federation of Planets in this fast and funny audio exclusive by Hugo Award winner and Audible best seller John Scalzi.
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Story
ADHD may be the defining diagnosis of our time. According to the latest data, more than 10 percent of American children (that’s 7.1 million kids) have been diagnosed with ADHD. And the number of stimulant prescriptions for adults in their 30s has shot up nearly threefold since 2012. In recent years, this explosion in demand has combined with other factors to create a widespread stimulant shortage in the US. In the second installment of Backfired, cohosts Leon Neyfakh and Arielle Pardes look at the unintended consequences of the ADHD industry, and trace the surprising path that brought us here.
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Avoid if recently diagnosed with ADHD as an Adult
- By Anonymous User on 10-05-24
By: Leon Neyfakh, and others
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Witches Get Stuff Done
- By: Molly Harper
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Original Recording
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Riley Denton-Everett always felt like something was missing in her life—and her numerous odd jobs and short-lived relationships haven’t brought her any closer to finding it. Everything changes when she receives a mysterious message: You’re a Denton. You belong on Starfall Point. Once you’re here, I’ll tell you everything you need to know. When Riley arrives on the island, she learns her aunt has left her a historic mansion brimming with haunted antiques. Turns out, that’s not the only thing she’s inherited. Riley also hails from a long line of witches.
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Sadly Disappointing
- By ME book lover on 10-29-22
By: Molly Harper
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Isaac Steele and the Forever Man
- The Isaac Steele Chronicles
- By: Daniel Rigby
- Narrated by: Daniel Rigby
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Agent Isaac Steele has problems. He spends all his splibs on drink and drugs. He has some deep-seated and very much unresolved issues with his parents. And his robotic partner at Greatest Britain’s Department of Clarification, Dr Timothy Stephens, is ruled more by his heart than his hard drive. But all these issues take a back seat when Isaac stumbles upon a case involving the most sensitive information in the cosmos - a Never File, inaccessible to all except those with the highest clearance. He is expressly forbidden to involve himself. So naturally he does.
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Bombastic comedic rollercoster
- By Hillary on 09-14-21
By: Daniel Rigby
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Miniatures
- The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Peter Ganim, Luke Daniels, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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Small doses of "Scalzian" humor
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 01-05-17
By: John Scalzi
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When the Moon Hits Your Eye
- By: John Scalzi
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
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For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.
By: John Scalzi
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Slow Time Between the Stars
- The Far Reaches Collection
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Kay Eluvian
- Length: 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Equipped with the entirety of human knowledge, a sentient ship is launched on a last-ditch journey to find a new home for civilization. Trillions of miles. Tens of thousands of years. In the space between, the AI has plenty of time to think about life, the vastness of the universe, everything it was meant to do, and—with a perspective created but not limited by humans—what it should do.
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Lovely story! Lovely performance
- By Lisa on 06-28-23
By: John Scalzi
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Backfired: Attention Deficit
- By: Leon Neyfakh, Prologue Projects
- Narrated by: Leon Neyfakh, Arielle Pardes
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Original Recording
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ADHD may be the defining diagnosis of our time. According to the latest data, more than 10 percent of American children (that’s 7.1 million kids) have been diagnosed with ADHD. And the number of stimulant prescriptions for adults in their 30s has shot up nearly threefold since 2012. In recent years, this explosion in demand has combined with other factors to create a widespread stimulant shortage in the US. In the second installment of Backfired, cohosts Leon Neyfakh and Arielle Pardes look at the unintended consequences of the ADHD industry, and trace the surprising path that brought us here.
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Avoid if recently diagnosed with ADHD as an Adult
- By Anonymous User on 10-05-24
By: Leon Neyfakh, and others
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Witches Get Stuff Done
- By: Molly Harper
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Riley Denton-Everett always felt like something was missing in her life—and her numerous odd jobs and short-lived relationships haven’t brought her any closer to finding it. Everything changes when she receives a mysterious message: You’re a Denton. You belong on Starfall Point. Once you’re here, I’ll tell you everything you need to know. When Riley arrives on the island, she learns her aunt has left her a historic mansion brimming with haunted antiques. Turns out, that’s not the only thing she’s inherited. Riley also hails from a long line of witches.
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Sadly Disappointing
- By ME book lover on 10-29-22
By: Molly Harper
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Isaac Steele and the Forever Man
- The Isaac Steele Chronicles
- By: Daniel Rigby
- Narrated by: Daniel Rigby
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Agent Isaac Steele has problems. He spends all his splibs on drink and drugs. He has some deep-seated and very much unresolved issues with his parents. And his robotic partner at Greatest Britain’s Department of Clarification, Dr Timothy Stephens, is ruled more by his heart than his hard drive. But all these issues take a back seat when Isaac stumbles upon a case involving the most sensitive information in the cosmos - a Never File, inaccessible to all except those with the highest clearance. He is expressly forbidden to involve himself. So naturally he does.
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Bombastic comedic rollercoster
- By Hillary on 09-14-21
By: Daniel Rigby
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Miniatures
- The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Peter Ganim, Luke Daniels, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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Small doses of "Scalzian" humor
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 01-05-17
By: John Scalzi
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The President's Brain Is Missing
- A Tor.Com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
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The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
- By Kelly A McDermott on 09-15-19
By: John Scalzi
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Classics of Horror: Frankenstein, Dracula, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
- By: James Krasner, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: James Krasner
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Original Recording
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James Krasner, an expert in Victorian literature, takes you on a fascinating journey into the enduring power of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, and Robert Louis Stevenson’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You’ll learn how these three literary masters structured their novels to offer not only scares but also complex insights into cultural debates that still matter to us today.
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Dracula is not boring
- By Daniel G. Robison on 10-13-24
By: James Krasner, and others
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The God Engines
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
- By Tony Loman on 11-29-11
By: John Scalzi
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Wynonna Earp
- Tales from Purgatory
- By: Emily Andras
- Narrated by: Melanie Scrofano, Tim Rozon, Dom Provost-Chalkley, and others
- Length: 4 hrs
- Original Recording
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Saddle up and join Wynonna Earp on an immersive new audio adventure in the gritty supernatural world of Purgatory. This Audible Original invites you deeper into the Weird West to follow Wynonna Earp (Melanie Scrofano), as she embarks on her craziest adventure yet: riding off into the sunset with her soulmate, Doc Holliday (Tim Rozon)—yes ... that Doc Holliday. Brace yourself for more wise-cracking demon hunters, earth-shattering revelations and all the genre-blending action you've come to expect from the cult hit TV series.
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Happy #Earper ☺️
- By Kate Skidmore on 10-17-24
By: Emily Andras
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Are You Afraid of the Dark? The Official Podcast: Season 2
- By: Nickelodeon Podcasts
- Narrated by: Jeremy Ray Taylor, Mason Versaw, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 4 mins
- Original Recording
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Welcome back, horror-lovers, your long wait for new scary vibes is now over. The Midnight Society is back with even more thrills and chills to haunt your airwaves, and now is your chance to become an honorary member. From twisted hauntings from the afterlife lurking in innocent kids’ backyards, to a séance gone terribly wrong, and many other chilling tales, listen if you dare. Only truly brave souls should proceed. You’ve been warned.
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We need more....
- By Fernando Zepeda on 11-20-24
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Agent to the Stars
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents.
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excellent
- By C. Paget on 12-28-10
By: John Scalzi
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The Energy Curfew Music Hour
- By: Chris Thile, Claire Coffee, Punch Brothers
- Narrated by: Chris Thile, Punch Brothers
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Original Recording
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It’s time to unplug with the Grammy-winning Punch Brothers, fronted by singer-mandolinist Chris Thile, as they bring you a multi-episode musical variety show with dazzling musical guests, like Kacey Musgraves, Jason Isbell, Jon Batiste, Norah Jones, James Taylor, and many more.
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Gifted musicians and storytellers right in their element and at the height of their powers
- By Megan G Kahl on 10-27-24
By: Chris Thile, and others
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The Dispatcher
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Zachary Quinto
- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Zachary Quinto - best known for his role as the Nimoy-approved Spock in the recent Star Trek reboot and the menacing, power-stealing serial killer, Sylar, in Heroes - brings his well-earned sci-fi credentials and simmering intensity to this audio-exclusive novella from master storyteller John Scalzi. One day, not long from now, it becomes almost impossible to murder anyone - 999 times out of a thousand, anyone who is intentionally killed comes back. How? We don't know.
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IT'S HARD TO GET MYSTICAL ABOUT YOUR JOB
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-16
By: John Scalzi
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The Android's Dream
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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A human diplomat creates an interstellar incident when he kills an alien diplomat in a most unusual way. To avoid war, Earth's government must find an equally unusual object: A type of sheep ("The Android's Dream"), used in the alien race's coronation ceremony. To find the sheep, the government turns to Harry Creek, ex-cop, war hero and hacker extraordinaire.
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Covertly flatulent Scifi at it's best!
- By DAVID on 11-12-11
By: John Scalzi
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Saying Goodbye
- By: Isabella Victoriano
- Narrated by: Aimee Carrero, Victor Rasuk, Pilar Uribe, and others
- Length: 2 hrs
- Original Recording
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David and Vanesa are ready to call it quits. After five years of marriage, neither one of them can even stand to look at the other. But when a final, desperate attempt to save their marriage lands them in couples therapy, David and Vanesa are forced to look back on their roller coaster of a relationship and uncover where exactly they went wrong. Filled with humor and emotion and told through a set of flashbacks spanning their decade-long relationship, Saying Goodbye is a story about meeting the right person at the wrong time and fighting to make it work.
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Fun and breezy
- By Ninalush on 10-25-24
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The Parole Room
- By: Ben Austen
- Narrated by: Ben Austen
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Original Recording
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Will Johnnie Veal—convicted of the murder of two police officers in 1970—be granted parole after 50 years in prison? How can he convince the parole board he’s reformed when he insists he’s innocent? What is prison time even supposed to accomplish? These are the questions that propel The Parole Room forward as it builds toward Johnnie’s 20th parole hearing—after 19 rejections.
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Enlightening story & a must read
- By Patsy on 10-07-24
By: Ben Austen
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The B-Team
- The Human Division, Episode 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
- By A Fitts on 01-18-13
By: John Scalzi
What listeners say about Constituent Service
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Andrew
- 10-04-24
Short and fun!
John Scalzi certainly has a way with words about aliens. If I didn't know better (and I don't actually know better), I'd guess that he either lives next door to several fine aliens, or is related to several fine aliens.
in any case, this is just a great short story about the life of a new employee working for the city. Oh, and she's one of the few humans in her office.
Nice story John - truly an enjoyable listen, and wonderfully voiced by the super talented Amber Benson!
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3 people found this helpful
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- Ruel Smith
- 10-07-24
Loved It!
Scalzi does it again! Love the story and the characters. Hope to get more stories from this universe.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Siforama
- 10-08-24
I highly recommend!
I amazed by John Scalzis indicative and exciting universe building.
This is my 4. John scalzi shortstory - and I can't get enough.
This story is imaginative, fun, sweet and well thought out.
Simply sublime.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Brendan G
- 10-03-24
light hearted quick listen
I love the quick story, the still humor, and ultimately A fun light-hearted story. would recommend
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1 person found this helpful
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- Avid Bibliophile
- 10-04-24
Absolutely loved this!!!
Fabulously creative story! Having worked for a government agency I could really relate to our awesome heroine. Can’t recommend highly enough! John Scalzi Rules!
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1 person found this helpful
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- LindaRae Freeman
- 10-05-24
adorable
That was so cute and a real pick-me-up :-)
Fun story and great performance
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 10-09-24
Delightful!
Unique and funny and personable, even if most of the characters weren’t technically persons. Very creative worldbuilding
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- Carolyn Efries
- 10-15-24
A great beach book
The characters were fun. The narrator was excellent. I thoroughly enjoyed the story. I would recommend this
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- Jason
- 10-08-24
Weird… even by Scalzi standards.
Not a bad listen but just know that it’s aliens and alien bugs and a chicken scam artist.
Not sure it’s worth a credit but if you see it on Deal of the Day…. Why not.
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- Mark J. Boutin
- 10-12-24
entertaining story as only Scalzi can do
fun and entertaining story in a world created by an author that dies this so well
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