Constituent Service
A Third District Story
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Narrated by:
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Amber Benson
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By:
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John Scalzi
About this listen
The aliens are here ... and they want municipal services!
Ashley Perrin is fresh out of college and starting a job as a community liaison for the Third District–the city’s only sector with more alien residents than humans. Ashley’s barely found where the paper clips are kept when she’s beset with constituent complaints–from too much noise at the Annual Lupidian Celebration Parade to a trip-and-fall chicken to a very particular type of alien hornet that threatens the very city itself.
And if that’s not terrifying enough, Ashley is next up at the office karaoke night.
It's Parks and Recreation meets the Federation of Planets in this fast and funny audio exclusive by Hugo Award winner and Audible best seller John Scalzi.
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Story
The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents.
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excellent
- By C. Paget on 12-28-10
By: John Scalzi
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The President's Brain Is Missing
- A Tor.Com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
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The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
- By Kelly A McDermott on 09-15-19
By: John Scalzi
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The Dispatcher
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Zachary Quinto
- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Zachary Quinto - best known for his role as the Nimoy-approved Spock in the recent Star Trek reboot and the menacing, power-stealing serial killer, Sylar, in Heroes - brings his well-earned sci-fi credentials and simmering intensity to this audio-exclusive novella from master storyteller John Scalzi. One day, not long from now, it becomes almost impossible to murder anyone - 999 times out of a thousand, anyone who is intentionally killed comes back. How? We don't know.
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IT'S HARD TO GET MYSTICAL ABOUT YOUR JOB
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-16
By: John Scalzi
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Slow Time Between the Stars
- The Far Reaches Collection
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Kay Eluvian
- Length: 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Equipped with the entirety of human knowledge, a sentient ship is launched on a last-ditch journey to find a new home for civilization. Trillions of miles. Tens of thousands of years. In the space between, the AI has plenty of time to think about life, the vastness of the universe, everything it was meant to do, and—with a perspective created but not limited by humans—what it should do.
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Lovely story! Lovely performance
- By Lisa on 06-28-23
By: John Scalzi
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When the Moon Hits Your Eye
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: Not Yet Known
- Unabridged
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For some it’s an opportunity. For others it’s a moment to question their faith: In God, in science, in everything. Still others try to keep the world running in the face of absurdity and uncertainty. And then there are the billions looking to the sky and wondering how a thing that was always just there is now... something absolutely impossible.
By: John Scalzi
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Miniatures
- The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, Peter Ganim, Luke Daniels, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The ex-planet Pluto has a few choice words about being thrown out of the solar system. A listing of alternate histories tells you all the various ways Hitler has died. A lawyer sues an interplanetary union for dangerous working conditions. And four artificial intelligences explain, in increasingly worrying detail, how they plan not to destroy humanity. Welcome to Miniatures: The Very Short Fiction of John Scalzi.
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Small doses of "Scalzian" humor
- By Andre Wallace Simonsen on 01-05-17
By: John Scalzi
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Agent to the Stars
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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The space-faring Yherajk have come to Earth to meet us and to begin humanity's first interstellar friendship. There's just one problem: They're hideously ugly and they smell like rotting fish. So getting humanity's trust is a challenge. The Yherajk need someone who can help them close the deal. Enter Thomas Stein, who knows something about closing deals. He's one of Hollywood's hottest young agents.
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excellent
- By C. Paget on 12-28-10
By: John Scalzi
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The President's Brain Is Missing
- A Tor.Com Original
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: P. J. Ochlan
- Length: 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The question is, how can you tell the President's brain is missing? And are we sure we need it back?
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Not my cup of tea (Kelly SAID)
- By Kelly A McDermott on 09-15-19
By: John Scalzi
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The Dispatcher
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Zachary Quinto
- Length: 2 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Zachary Quinto - best known for his role as the Nimoy-approved Spock in the recent Star Trek reboot and the menacing, power-stealing serial killer, Sylar, in Heroes - brings his well-earned sci-fi credentials and simmering intensity to this audio-exclusive novella from master storyteller John Scalzi. One day, not long from now, it becomes almost impossible to murder anyone - 999 times out of a thousand, anyone who is intentionally killed comes back. How? We don't know.
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IT'S HARD TO GET MYSTICAL ABOUT YOUR JOB
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 10-05-16
By: John Scalzi
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The Android's Dream
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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A human diplomat creates an interstellar incident when he kills an alien diplomat in a most unusual way. To avoid war, Earth's government must find an equally unusual object: A type of sheep ("The Android's Dream"), used in the alien race's coronation ceremony. To find the sheep, the government turns to Harry Creek, ex-cop, war hero and hacker extraordinaire.
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Covertly flatulent Scifi at it's best!
- By DAVID on 11-12-11
By: John Scalzi
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The God Engines
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Christopher Lane
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Captain Ean Tephe is a man of faith, whose allegiance to his lord and to his ship is uncontested. The Bishopry Militant knows this — and so, when it needs a ship and crew to undertake a secret, sacred mission to a hidden land, Tephe is the captain to whom the task is given....
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I love Scalzi's writing but not this book
- By Tony Loman on 11-29-11
By: John Scalzi
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The Signal
- By: Eric Buchman, Gabriel Urbina, Sarah Shachat
- Narrated by: Paget Brewster, full cast
- Length: 2 hrs and 39 mins
- Original Recording
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Two astronomers have detected a strange, pulsing signal from deep space. Within hours, the US government goes into lockdown, restricting airspace and scrubbing scientific data. Was the signal an intercepted communication revealing alarming plans for an enemy’s military strike? Or has humanity at long last found proof of extraterrestrial life?
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it did a good job keep me listening but disappointed at the ending
- By Tristan M. on 12-21-24
By: Eric Buchman, and others
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Isaac Steele and the Forever Man
- The Isaac Steele Chronicles
- By: Daniel Rigby
- Narrated by: Daniel Rigby
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Agent Isaac Steele has problems. He spends all his splibs on drink and drugs. He has some deep-seated and very much unresolved issues with his parents. And his robotic partner at Greatest Britain’s Department of Clarification, Dr Timothy Stephens, is ruled more by his heart than his hard drive. But all these issues take a back seat when Isaac stumbles upon a case involving the most sensitive information in the cosmos - a Never File, inaccessible to all except those with the highest clearance. He is expressly forbidden to involve himself. So naturally he does.
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Bombastic comedic rollercoster
- By Hillary on 09-14-21
By: Daniel Rigby
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Backfired: Attention Deficit
- By: Leon Neyfakh, Prologue Projects
- Narrated by: Leon Neyfakh, Arielle Pardes
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Original Recording
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ADHD may be the defining diagnosis of our time. According to the latest data, more than 10 percent of American children (that’s 7.1 million kids) have been diagnosed with ADHD. And the number of stimulant prescriptions for adults in their 30s has shot up nearly threefold since 2012. In recent years, this explosion in demand has combined with other factors to create a widespread stimulant shortage in the US. In the second installment of Backfired, cohosts Leon Neyfakh and Arielle Pardes look at the unintended consequences of the ADHD industry, and trace the surprising path that brought us here.
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Avoid if recently diagnosed with ADHD as an Adult
- By Anonymous User on 10-05-24
By: Leon Neyfakh, and others
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Temporal
- By: Julian Simpson, Richard MacLean Smith, Bec Boey, and others
- Narrated by: Nicola Walker, Sanjeev Bhaskar, Jessie Mei Li, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 26 mins
- Original Recording
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In the not-too-distant future, a 21-member crew launches from Earth. Their mission: to establish a temporary colony on Mars. Little do they know that colony will become permanent–and the last stand of the human race. Because, without warning, every single person left on Earth simply...vanishes. Now, a thousand years later, the resources needed to sustain life are running out, and the very existence of the Mars colony is threatened. Humankind has only one option–to return to its home planet.
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crappy sound recording
- By Keith D Azevedo on 08-16-24
By: Julian Simpson, and others
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The B-Team
- The Human Division, Episode 1
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: William Dufris
- Length: 2 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Colonial Union Ambassador Ode Abumwe and her team are used to life on the lower end of the diplomatic ladder. But when a high-profile diplomat goes missing, Abumwe and her team are last minute replacements on a mission critical to the Colonial Union’s future. As the team works to pull off their task, CDF Lieutenant Harry Wilson discovers there’s more to the story of the missing diplomats than anyone expected... a secret that could spell war for humanity.
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Obumwe said, Eagan said, Wilson said, Rickney said
- By A Fitts on 01-18-13
By: John Scalzi
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Lock In (Narrated by Amber Benson)
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 10 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Not too long from today, a new, highly contagious virus makes its way across the globe. Most who get sick experience nothing worse than flu, fever, and headaches. But for the unlucky one percent - and nearly five million souls in the United States alone - the disease causes "Lock In": Victims fully awake and aware, but unable to move or respond to stimulus. The disease affects young, old, rich, poor, people of every color and creed. The world changes to meet the challenge.
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Love Amber's Narration
- By Anthony on 09-11-14
By: John Scalzi
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The Kaiju Preservation Society
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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When COVID-19 sweeps through New York City, Jamie Gray is stuck as a dead-end driver for food-delivery apps. That is, until Jamie makes a delivery to an old acquaintance, Tom, who works at what he calls “an animal rights organization”. Tom’s team needs a last-minute grunt to handle things on their next field visit. Jamie, eager to do anything, immediately signs on. What Tom doesn't tell Jamie is that the animals his team cares for are not here on Earth. Not our Earth, at at least. In an alternate dimension, dinosaur-like creatures named Kaiju roam a warm and human-free world.
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I'm listening with a permanent smile on my face
- By Lucy A. Pithecus on 03-15-22
By: John Scalzi
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Wynonna Earp
- Tales from Purgatory
- By: Emily Andras
- Narrated by: Melanie Scrofano, Tim Rozon, Dom Provost-Chalkley, and others
- Length: 4 hrs
- Original Recording
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Saddle up and join Wynonna Earp on an immersive new audio adventure in the gritty supernatural world of Purgatory. This Audible Original invites you deeper into the Weird West to follow Wynonna Earp (Melanie Scrofano), as she embarks on her craziest adventure yet: riding off into the sunset with her soulmate, Doc Holliday (Tim Rozon)—yes ... that Doc Holliday. Brace yourself for more wise-cracking demon hunters, earth-shattering revelations and all the genre-blending action you've come to expect from the cult hit TV series.
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Happy #Earper ☺️
- By Kate Skidmore on 10-17-24
By: Emily Andras
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Witches Get Stuff Done
- By: Molly Harper
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi, Teddy Hamilton
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Original Recording
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Riley Denton-Everett always felt like something was missing in her life—and her numerous odd jobs and short-lived relationships haven’t brought her any closer to finding it. Everything changes when she receives a mysterious message: You’re a Denton. You belong on Starfall Point. Once you’re here, I’ll tell you everything you need to know. When Riley arrives on the island, she learns her aunt has left her a historic mansion brimming with haunted antiques. Turns out, that’s not the only thing she’s inherited. Riley also hails from a long line of witches.
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Sadly Disappointing
- By ME book lover on 10-29-22
By: Molly Harper
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Starter Villain
- By: John Scalzi
- Narrated by: Wil Wheaton
- Length: 8 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Inheriting your uncle's supervillain business is more complicated than you might think. Particularly when you discover who's running the place. Charlie's life is going nowhere fast. A divorced substitute teacher living with his cat in a house his siblings want to sell, all he wants is to open a pub downtown, if only the bank will approve his loan. Then his long-lost uncle Jake dies and leaves his supervillain business (complete with island volcano lair) to Charlie. But becoming a supervillain isn't all giant laser death rays and lava pits.
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Volcanic Lairs, Death Rays & Cats… Oh My! 😼
- By C. White on 09-19-23
By: John Scalzi
What listeners say about Constituent Service
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Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Snoopy
- 10-06-24
Engaging Short Story with Laughs
This was a delightful read! I enjoyed the interactions between the characters, and there were plenty of funny moments that made me smile. The ending was thrilling and left me satisfied. The story was the perfect length, with just enough character development to make me care about the outcome. Amber Benson did a fantastic job narrating—I’m excited to listen to more of her work in the future. Overall this is a charming and engaging short story!
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- Geoffrey Christian
- 10-08-24
What a silly and sweet quick listen!
It was fun, sweet. And quick! Hope will be more in this little series. Definitely worth a few hours of your time.
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2 people found this helpful
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- SHOEKEMA
- 10-04-24
So Fun!
I sure do love me some Scalzi. This Novella was such a fun and rewarding listen. I really loved how everything comes together. I honestly loved it, and am hoping for more!
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2 people found this helpful
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- AZ
- 10-04-24
he's done it again!
I absolutely love his work. it is funny and well written! he is one of my favorites. I recommend this!
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- Ryan Crotty
- 10-19-24
Love it!!
Great little story and performed extremely well. Honestly I could see this being the basis for a chill book series or for an episodic show. It’s awesome to see a writer create several interesting characters that I’d actually want to get to know more in such a short story.
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- Been there
- 10-10-24
Fantastic Fun!
Wow what a delightful ride!
Narration was perfection!
Story was fun, whimsical, witty!
I wanted more. Audible originals always hit the mark!
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- Tim Schmelter
- 10-14-24
Delightful
A delightful, amusing story with spectacular narration by Amber Benson. A delightful, amusing story with spectacular narration by Amber Benson.
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- Bob
- 10-20-24
Hilarious and over the top
This is what make Scalzi the funniest SF writer alive. Space Opera on the ground (and under ground and underwater), with humor that if it does not make you smile, your soul is dead.
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- Joni Lynn
- 10-21-24
Another great one from Scalzi!
Funny, imaginative, great world-
building, lots of heart...everything I love about John Scalzi's stories.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-08-24
Fun little diversion
Short, sweet and to the point, while still doing imaginative world building and putting believable speculation into speculative fiction. Excellent performance.
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