-
250 Ultimate Funny Pick Up Lines
- Hilarious, Cute, and Cheesy Pick Up Lines to Meet Women
- Narrated by: Eddie Leonard Jr.
- Length: 23 mins
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Publisher's summary
A collection of 250 of the funniest pickup lines anywhere!
If you love adult humor and a good laugh, then you will enjoy these cute, nerdy, and dirty pickup lines.
Many lines can be deployed effectively in real life without the threat of an impending face slap. However, other offensive lines are for entertainment only. You have to decide your level of risk.
"On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?"
"I wish I was your calculus homework. Because then I'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on your desk."
Eighteen chapters include topics such as animals and music, and there's even a chapter just for the girls, to help pick up guys. Also included are chapters for Twitter and Tinder lines, to help you stand out on the latest social networks. Free bonus chapter: Turn Downs: Hilarious Insults to Make Any Creeper Leave You Alone.
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Why would we need music if our lives were exactly as we wanted them to be? Karl Bender is a quiet guy who lives in three places: his bar, his apartment, and the cheap Mediterranean place on the corner that keeps him well fed with his daily portion of hummus and chicken shwarma. But that's all about to change. When he stumbles upon a time-traveling wormhole, Karl develops a business selling access to people who want to go back in time to hear their favorite bands.
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Frustrating
- By Brit N Jonn Designs on 03-31-16
By: Mo Daviau
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Whiskey & Ribbons
- By: Leesa Cross-Smith
- Narrated by: Larry Heron, Joe Bearor, Tunisia Hardison
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Set in contemporary Louisville, Leesa Cross-Smith's mesmerizing first novel surrounding the death of a police officer is a requiem for marriage, friendship, and family, from an author Roxane Gay has called "a consummate storyteller". Evi - a classically-trained ballerina - was nine months pregnant when her husband Eamon was killed in the line of duty on a steamy morning in July. Now, it is winter, and Eamon's adopted brother Dalton has moved in to help her raise six-month-old Noah.
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Beautifully Tragic and Heart Healing
- By Jennifer Glover on 08-17-18
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An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
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struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
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Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
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A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
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The Story of Arthur Truluv
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Berg
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Berg
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Three people find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of belonging in this deeply moving novel. Arthur, an old widower struggling to overcome his grief, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who avoids school by hiding out where Arthur goes every day for lunch. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation.
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Sickly Sweet
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-18
By: Elizabeth Berg
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Gemini
- By: Penelope Ward
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Diner waitress Allison Abraham has no idea her mundane life is about to change dramatically the day she serves a devastatingly handsome customer. Allison is immediately captivated by the mysterious man who stares through her soul with his electric-blue eyes. After he abruptly leaves the restaurant, she can't get him out of her head. She has no idea that he actually came on a mission to find her. Cedric Callahan wasn't expecting to fall in love at first sight with the pretty waitress he'd set out to find.
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WHAT A JOURNEY, WHAT A LOVE STORY & WHAT AN AUTHOR
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 11-14-16
By: Penelope Ward
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New American Best Friend
- By: Olivia Gatwood
- Narrated by: Olivia Gatwood
- Length: 54 mins
- Unabridged
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One of the most recognizable young poets in America, Olivia Gatwood dazzles with her tribute to contemporary American womanhood in her debut book, New American Best Friend. Gatwood's poems deftly deconstruct traditional stereotypes. The focus shifts from childhood to adulthood, gender to sexuality, violence to joy. And always and inexorably, the book moves toward celebration, culminating in a series of odes: odes to the body, to tough women, to embracing your own journey in all its failures and triumphs.
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Amazing poetry, but the music
- By Keaira on 07-29-19
By: Olivia Gatwood
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Indulge
- By: Georgia Cates
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Ava Erickson
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Beau Emerson is no gentleman. Those hazel eyes. That filthy mouth. That greedy, hard body. It all equates to one thing. Irresistible. One look and I know he'll bruise my lips and scar my knees. He'll give me the best nine days of my life while ruining me in the most beautiful way imaginable. And I'll let him, because he has the power to talk me into anything. Except one thing. Staying. I have no choice. The things I desire from him will destroy me in the end.
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INDULGE YOURSELVES IN THIS STEAMY LOVE STORY
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 04-23-16
By: Georgia Cates
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Lottery
- By: Patricia Wood
- Narrated by: Paul Michael
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Perry's IQ is only 76, but he's not stupid. His grandmother taught him everything he needs to know to survive: she taught him to write things down so he won't forget them. She taught him to play the lottery every week. And, most important, she taught him whom to trust. When Gram dies, Perry is left orphaned and bereft at the age of 31. Then his weekly Washington State Lottery ticket wins him 12 million dollars, and he finds he has more family than he knows what to do with.
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lottery
- By hilobilly on 08-09-07
By: Patricia Wood
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In Search of Cleo
- How I Found My Pussy and Lost My Mind
- By: Gina Gershon
- Narrated by: Gina Gershon
- Length: 3 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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In Search of Cleo follows Gina’s desperation and despair when her assistant loses her beloved cat, Cleo. Gina spends two months roaming the back streets of Los Angeles at all hours of the night, searching for Cleo and meeting several quirky and outrageous characters who help or hinder her in different ways, including Ellen DeGeneres, who searches with Gina and recommends her pet psychic, Sonia; Arthur, the newspaper delivery man who gives her advice; and the mysterious fortune-teller....
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Loved it!!!
- By Kathryn Prusick Gould on 03-15-16
By: Gina Gershon
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Talk British to Me
- By: Robin Bielman
- Narrated by: Reagan West, Oliver Clarke
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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As the Dating Guy on L.A.'s top morning show, I give the single guy's perspective on dating, love, and sex - and I give great advice. Everyone's hooking up...well, except for me. Sure, I can get any woman I want, but I've got a no-relationship clause in my contract, and the only woman I want has relationship written all over her. Unfortunately, she wants nothing to do with me. At all. Something about the next Ice Age might have even come up in her rebuttal. Adorable.
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Not a fan
- By Amazon Customer on 02-08-23
By: Robin Bielman
What listeners say about 250 Ultimate Funny Pick Up Lines
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kindle Customer
- 10-21-22
good
Loved it !! this story. the narrator is so fantastic it's like your really there!! good overall
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- Amanda
- 12-18-20
Lame, pretty stupid
The title of my review says it all. Not very funny. I would buy this. Definitely don’t waste your few dollars.
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Overall
- GeddyLeeGlee
- 03-29-17
I bought it so you don't have to! Pretty bad.
Other than what's in the description, there is pretty much nothing funny here, stuff you'd hear in middle school hallways.
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1 person found this helpful