250 Ultimate Funny Pick Up Lines
Hilarious, Cute, and Cheesy Pick Up Lines to Meet Women
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $3.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Eddie Leonard Jr.
-
By:
-
Jack Daytona
About this listen
A collection of 250 of the funniest pickup lines anywhere!
If you love adult humor and a good laugh, then you will enjoy these cute, nerdy, and dirty pickup lines.
Many lines can be deployed effectively in real life without the threat of an impending face slap. However, other offensive lines are for entertainment only. You have to decide your level of risk.
"On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?"
"I wish I was your calculus homework. Because then I'd be really hard, and you'd be doing me on your desk."
Eighteen chapters include topics such as animals and music, and there's even a chapter just for the girls, to help pick up guys. Also included are chapters for Twitter and Tinder lines, to help you stand out on the latest social networks. Free bonus chapter: Turn Downs: Hilarious Insults to Make Any Creeper Leave You Alone.
©2016 Jack Daytona (P)2016 Jack DaytonaListeners also enjoyed...
-
How to Talk to Women: Get Her to Like You & Want You With Effortless, Fun Conversation & Never Run Out of Anything to Say!
- How to Approach Women (Dating Advice for Men)
- By: Ray Asher
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Discover how to master the art of conversation, effortlessly engage and deeply connect with women and dramatically improve your dating life! Tired of freezing up when in close proximity to an attractive woman you'd like to talk to? Do you often run out of things to say when talking with a woman, only to watch her slowly lose interest?
-
-
Waste of time n money
- By 2CooL on 11-19-21
By: Ray Asher
-
I Hate Myselfie
- By: Shane Dawson
- Narrated by: Shane Dawson
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shane Dawson has always been an open book. From his first YouTube vlog back in 2008 to his feature film debut Not Cool to a cover story in Variety magazine, Shane has documented his life pre-tty thoroughly. We've seen awkward and adorable Q&As with his mom, weight-loss center drama, love life details, and the all-important haircut reveal. We've seen his hilarious spoofs of Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton, and Sarah Palin. His music videos are awesome.
-
-
Never heard of Shane Dawson and still loved this!
- By Tim B. on 03-13-15
By: Shane Dawson
-
Seriously...I'm Kidding
- By: Ellen DeGeneres
- Narrated by: Ellen DeGeneres
- Length: 3 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)
-
-
Not so much.
- By Julie on 10-11-11
By: Ellen DeGeneres
-
I Almost Forgot About You
- A Novel
- By: Terry McMillan
- Narrated by: Terry McMillan
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In I Almost Forgot About You, Dr. Georgia Young's wonderful life--great friends, family, and successful career--aren't enough to keep her from feeling stuck and restless. When she decides to make some major changes in her life, including quitting her job as an optometrist and moving house, she finds herself on a wild journey that may or may not include a second chance at love. Georgia’s bravery reminds us that it’s never too late to become the person you want to be, and that taking chances, with your life and your heart, are always worthwhile.
-
-
I Almost Forgot About You
- By Brown Sugar Carolyn on 06-11-16
By: Terry McMillan
-
Rhett & Link's Book of Mythicality
- A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery
- By: Rhett McLaughlin, Link Neal
- Narrated by: Link Neal, Rhett McLaughlin
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From YouTube superstars and creators of Good Mythical Morning comes the ultimate guide to living a "mythical" life, featuring stories from their lifelong friendship as well as tips for laughing more, learning more, and never taking yourself too seriously.
-
-
Great as a companion to actual book.
- By Jollymon on 10-20-17
By: Rhett McLaughlin, and others
-
Tenth of December
- Stories
- By: George Saunders
- Narrated by: George Saunders
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Writing brilliantly and profoundly about class, sex, love, loss, work, despair, and war, Saunders cuts to the core of the contemporary experience. These stories take on the big questions and explore the fault lines of our own morality, delving into the questions of what makes us good and what makes us human.
-
-
Be prepared for something different...but good!
- By Mr. D on 02-21-14
By: George Saunders
-
How to Talk to Women: Get Her to Like You & Want You With Effortless, Fun Conversation & Never Run Out of Anything to Say!
- How to Approach Women (Dating Advice for Men)
- By: Ray Asher
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 3 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Discover how to master the art of conversation, effortlessly engage and deeply connect with women and dramatically improve your dating life! Tired of freezing up when in close proximity to an attractive woman you'd like to talk to? Do you often run out of things to say when talking with a woman, only to watch her slowly lose interest?
-
-
Waste of time n money
- By 2CooL on 11-19-21
By: Ray Asher
-
I Hate Myselfie
- By: Shane Dawson
- Narrated by: Shane Dawson
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Shane Dawson has always been an open book. From his first YouTube vlog back in 2008 to his feature film debut Not Cool to a cover story in Variety magazine, Shane has documented his life pre-tty thoroughly. We've seen awkward and adorable Q&As with his mom, weight-loss center drama, love life details, and the all-important haircut reveal. We've seen his hilarious spoofs of Miley Cyrus, Paris Hilton, and Sarah Palin. His music videos are awesome.
-
-
Never heard of Shane Dawson and still loved this!
- By Tim B. on 03-13-15
By: Shane Dawson
-
Seriously...I'm Kidding
- By: Ellen DeGeneres
- Narrated by: Ellen DeGeneres
- Length: 3 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)
-
-
Not so much.
- By Julie on 10-11-11
By: Ellen DeGeneres
-
I Almost Forgot About You
- A Novel
- By: Terry McMillan
- Narrated by: Terry McMillan
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In I Almost Forgot About You, Dr. Georgia Young's wonderful life--great friends, family, and successful career--aren't enough to keep her from feeling stuck and restless. When she decides to make some major changes in her life, including quitting her job as an optometrist and moving house, she finds herself on a wild journey that may or may not include a second chance at love. Georgia’s bravery reminds us that it’s never too late to become the person you want to be, and that taking chances, with your life and your heart, are always worthwhile.
-
-
I Almost Forgot About You
- By Brown Sugar Carolyn on 06-11-16
By: Terry McMillan
-
Rhett & Link's Book of Mythicality
- A Field Guide to Curiosity, Creativity, and Tomfoolery
- By: Rhett McLaughlin, Link Neal
- Narrated by: Link Neal, Rhett McLaughlin
- Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From YouTube superstars and creators of Good Mythical Morning comes the ultimate guide to living a "mythical" life, featuring stories from their lifelong friendship as well as tips for laughing more, learning more, and never taking yourself too seriously.
-
-
Great as a companion to actual book.
- By Jollymon on 10-20-17
By: Rhett McLaughlin, and others
-
Tenth of December
- Stories
- By: George Saunders
- Narrated by: George Saunders
- Length: 5 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Writing brilliantly and profoundly about class, sex, love, loss, work, despair, and war, Saunders cuts to the core of the contemporary experience. These stories take on the big questions and explore the fault lines of our own morality, delving into the questions of what makes us good and what makes us human.
-
-
Be prepared for something different...but good!
- By Mr. D on 02-21-14
By: George Saunders
-
I Want My Epidural Back
- Adventures in Mediocre Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 4 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I Want My Epidural Back is a celebration of mediocre parents and how awesome they are and how their kids love them just as much as children with perfect parents. Karen Alpert's honest but hilarious observations, stories, and quips will have you nodding your head and peeing in your pants. Or on the toilet if you're smart and listen to it there.
-
-
A definite listen, for all us "mediocre" moms!!!
- By Allison M. Billet on 04-08-16
By: Karen Alpert
-
Egghead
- Or, You Can't Survive on Ideas Alone
- By: Bo Burnham
- Narrated by: Bo Burnham
- Length: 1 hr and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A strange and charming collection of hilariously absurd poetry and writing from one of today's most popular young comedians...In Egghead, Bo brings his brand of brainy, emotional comedy in the form of off-kilter poems, thoughts, and more. Bo takes on everything from death to farts in this weird audiobook that will make you think, laugh and think, "why did I just laugh?"
-
-
Yaaaaassssssss!!!
- By AlecZander on 06-16-15
By: Bo Burnham
-
Suck Less
- Where There's a Willam, There's a Way
- By: Willam Belli, Neil Patrick Harris - foreword
- Narrated by: Willam Belli
- Length: 5 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The only lie told more often than "no, that looks totally cute on you" and "I got AIDS through oral" is "it gets better". Well, a lotta times it don't. Sometimes it just sucks less. But I promise you: Where there's a Willam, there's a way. But this isn't all about me (for once). It's about you and how you can suck less at a variety of things drag queens are so much better at than the average person.
-
-
One of the best!
- By James on 02-17-17
By: Willam Belli, and others
-
The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer (Twin Peaks)
- By: Jennifer Lynch
- Narrated by: Sheryl Lee
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lifeless and wrapped in plastic. This is how Sheryl Lee was first introduced as "Laura Palmer" in the cult television classic, Twin Peaks. Now, Sheryl returns to voice Laura's darkest secrets in the audiobook event that fans of the show have long awaited.
-
-
Wrapped in plastic
- By Phillip Frangules on 05-08-17
By: Jennifer Lynch
-
Sorta Like a Rock Star
- By: Matthew Quick
- Narrated by: Cynthia Holloway
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Amber Appleton lives in a bus. Ever since her mom’s boyfriend kicked them out, Amber, her mom, and her totally loyal dog, Bobby Big Boy (a.k.a Thrice B), have been camped out in the back of Hello Yellow (the school bus her mom drives). Still, Amber, the self- proclaimed princess of hope and girl of unyielding optimism, refuses to sweat the bad stuff. But when a fatal tragedy threatens Amber’s optimism - and her way of life - can Amber continue to be the rock star of hope?
-
-
After being hooked by Silver Linings playbook.....
- By Brad Zerkel on 04-22-13
By: Matthew Quick
-
Every Anxious Wave
- By: Mo Daviau
- Narrated by: Zach Villa
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Why would we need music if our lives were exactly as we wanted them to be? Karl Bender is a quiet guy who lives in three places: his bar, his apartment, and the cheap Mediterranean place on the corner that keeps him well fed with his daily portion of hummus and chicken shwarma. But that's all about to change. When he stumbles upon a time-traveling wormhole, Karl develops a business selling access to people who want to go back in time to hear their favorite bands.
-
-
Frustrating
- By Brit N Jonn Designs on 03-31-16
By: Mo Daviau
-
Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock
- By: Matthew Quick
- Narrated by: Noah Galvin
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Today is Leonard Peacock's birthday. It is also the day he hides a gun in his backpack. Because today is the day he will kill his former best friend, and then himself, with his grandfather's P-38 pistol. But first he must say good-bye to the four people who matter most to him: his Humphrey Bogart - obsessed next-door neighbor, Walt; his classmate Baback, a violin virtuoso; Lauren, the Christian homeschooler he has a crush on; and Herr Silverman, who teaches the high school's class on the Holocaust.
-
-
Required reading for humans
- By L. Gutman on 08-14-13
By: Matthew Quick
-
Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog
- The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman
- By: Lisa Scottoline
- Narrated by: Lisa Scottoline, Francesca Serritella
- Length: 6 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At last, together in one collection, are Lisa Scottoline's wildly popular Philadelphia Inquirer columns. In her column, Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to show the humorous side of life from a woman's perspective. The Sunday column debuted in 2007 and on the day it started, Lisa wrote, "I write novels, so I usually have 100,000 words to tell a story. In a column there's only 700 words. I can barely say hello in 700 words. I'm Italian."
-
-
Hilarious book, great on the road
- By Joy on 01-01-11
By: Lisa Scottoline
-
Why We Suck
- A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid
- By: Dr. Denis Leary
- Narrated by: Dr. Denis Leary
- Length: 4 hrs and 47 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Why We Suck, Dr. Denis Leary uses his common sense, and his biting and hilarious take on the world, to attack the politically correct, the hypocritical, the obese, the thin - basically everyone who takes themselves too seriously. He does so with the extra oomph of a doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. "Sure it's just a celebrity type of thing - they only gave it to me because I'm famous." Leary explains.
-
-
Really Deep Insights
- By Arun Gupta on 07-20-09
By: Dr. Denis Leary
-
It Takes Balls
- Dating Single Moms and Other Confessions from an Unprepared Single Dad
- By: Josh Wolf
- Narrated by: Josh Wolf
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Struggling to make it as a stand-up comic didn't always fit with being a single parent. But Josh figured out his own set of rules - through trial and (frequent) error. Early picking up kids from school? The nearby strip club is a great place to kill time and bond with some like-minded dads. Want a drunken heart-to-heart with your son? First make sure there's no Sharpie around in case you pass out.
-
-
funny as hell
- By Marcus on 11-01-16
By: Josh Wolf
-
Hell and Back
- Heaven & Hell, Book 1
- By: Natasha Madison
- Narrated by: Joe Hempel, Melissa Moran
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Bella: Meeting him was a fluke. Dating him was a mistake. Watching him become a drug addict put me through hell. Running was my only option. Jackson: I'm running from my demons and when I find out she's trying to escape her past, I know what I have to do. One broken cop. One woman fighting for her life. A fragile love. Sinister secrets that threaten to tear them apart. They've been to hell. The hard part will be finding their way back together.
-
-
Nice happy ending
- By Alysha on 02-23-24
By: Natasha Madison
-
Face Off: Emile
- Nashville Sound, Book 1
- By: Alicia Hunter Pace
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Emile Giroux has vowed he will be everything his stepfather is not: cultured, charming, sophisticated, and - above all else - a rich, successful NHL star. One of the top goalies in the league, the French Canadian strives for more, still haunted by his troubled childhood. Amy Callahan was a freelance professional organizer until an ambitious, domineering boyfriend took over her life and cleaned out her bank account. When Emile finds Amy literally kicked to the curb, he seizes his latest chance to rescue a damsel in distress - only Amy doesn’t want to play that game.
-
-
Adorable!
- By kestergayle on 08-24-18
Related to this topic
-
I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
-
-
Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
-
Any Man
- A Novel
- By: Amber Tamblyn
- Narrated by: Glenn Davis, Robin Miles, Therese Plummer, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this electric and provocative debut novel, Amber Tamblyn blends genres of poetry, prose, and elements of suspense to give shape to the shocking narratives of victims of sexual violence, mapping the destructive ways in which our society perpetuates rape culture, brilliantly brought to life through a multi-voice performance featuring Glenn Davis, Ben Foster, Marc Maron, Jason Ritter, John Roberts, Russ Tamblyn, Amber Tamblyn, January Lavoy, Phoebe Strole, Robin Miles, Thérèse Plummer, Dan Bittner, James Fouhey, and Michael Crouch.
-
-
I've been finished with this for hours
- By Bill on 06-29-18
By: Amber Tamblyn
-
God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
-
-
To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
-
The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer (Twin Peaks)
- By: Jennifer Lynch
- Narrated by: Sheryl Lee
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lifeless and wrapped in plastic. This is how Sheryl Lee was first introduced as "Laura Palmer" in the cult television classic, Twin Peaks. Now, Sheryl returns to voice Laura's darkest secrets in the audiobook event that fans of the show have long awaited.
-
-
Wrapped in plastic
- By Phillip Frangules on 05-08-17
By: Jennifer Lynch
-
Face Off: Emile
- Nashville Sound, Book 1
- By: Alicia Hunter Pace
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Emile Giroux has vowed he will be everything his stepfather is not: cultured, charming, sophisticated, and - above all else - a rich, successful NHL star. One of the top goalies in the league, the French Canadian strives for more, still haunted by his troubled childhood. Amy Callahan was a freelance professional organizer until an ambitious, domineering boyfriend took over her life and cleaned out her bank account. When Emile finds Amy literally kicked to the curb, he seizes his latest chance to rescue a damsel in distress - only Amy doesn’t want to play that game.
-
-
Adorable!
- By kestergayle on 08-24-18
-
In His Protection
- K-9 Defenders, Book 1
- By: Sandra Owens
- Narrated by: Patrick Zeller
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Chief of police Tristan Church likes Marsville just the way it is. He has his job and his police dog, Fuzz, for company. He could have Sheriff Skylar Morgan, too, but she’s determined to keep him at arm’s length, even if the one night they shared was unforgettable. Skylar can’t deny that the connection she has with Tristan is unlike anything she’s ever felt before. She loves Marsville, but while most of the town is happy with her as Sheriff, it’s been a long, hard road proving herself.
-
-
Boring story.
- By Lia on 07-21-23
By: Sandra Owens
-
I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
-
-
Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
-
Any Man
- A Novel
- By: Amber Tamblyn
- Narrated by: Glenn Davis, Robin Miles, Therese Plummer, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this electric and provocative debut novel, Amber Tamblyn blends genres of poetry, prose, and elements of suspense to give shape to the shocking narratives of victims of sexual violence, mapping the destructive ways in which our society perpetuates rape culture, brilliantly brought to life through a multi-voice performance featuring Glenn Davis, Ben Foster, Marc Maron, Jason Ritter, John Roberts, Russ Tamblyn, Amber Tamblyn, January Lavoy, Phoebe Strole, Robin Miles, Thérèse Plummer, Dan Bittner, James Fouhey, and Michael Crouch.
-
-
I've been finished with this for hours
- By Bill on 06-29-18
By: Amber Tamblyn
-
God-Shaped Hole
- A Novel
- By: Tiffanie DeBartolo
- Narrated by: Rachael Warren
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Beatrice Trixie Jordan replies to a personal ad, she meets Jacob Grace, a charming, effervescent 30-something free-spirit writer passionately seeking life. He possesses his own turns of phrase and ways of thinking and feeling that dissonantly harmonize with Trixie's off-center vision. As they rollercoaster through the joys and furies of their wrenching romance, they try to come to terms with the hurt brought about by both of their distant fathers who, in different ways, forsook them.
-
-
To see a fortune teller or not to see one...
- By Renee on 08-08-18
-
The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer (Twin Peaks)
- By: Jennifer Lynch
- Narrated by: Sheryl Lee
- Length: 6 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lifeless and wrapped in plastic. This is how Sheryl Lee was first introduced as "Laura Palmer" in the cult television classic, Twin Peaks. Now, Sheryl returns to voice Laura's darkest secrets in the audiobook event that fans of the show have long awaited.
-
-
Wrapped in plastic
- By Phillip Frangules on 05-08-17
By: Jennifer Lynch
-
Face Off: Emile
- Nashville Sound, Book 1
- By: Alicia Hunter Pace
- Narrated by: Andrew Eiden
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Emile Giroux has vowed he will be everything his stepfather is not: cultured, charming, sophisticated, and - above all else - a rich, successful NHL star. One of the top goalies in the league, the French Canadian strives for more, still haunted by his troubled childhood. Amy Callahan was a freelance professional organizer until an ambitious, domineering boyfriend took over her life and cleaned out her bank account. When Emile finds Amy literally kicked to the curb, he seizes his latest chance to rescue a damsel in distress - only Amy doesn’t want to play that game.
-
-
Adorable!
- By kestergayle on 08-24-18
-
In His Protection
- K-9 Defenders, Book 1
- By: Sandra Owens
- Narrated by: Patrick Zeller
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Chief of police Tristan Church likes Marsville just the way it is. He has his job and his police dog, Fuzz, for company. He could have Sheriff Skylar Morgan, too, but she’s determined to keep him at arm’s length, even if the one night they shared was unforgettable. Skylar can’t deny that the connection she has with Tristan is unlike anything she’s ever felt before. She loves Marsville, but while most of the town is happy with her as Sheriff, it’s been a long, hard road proving herself.
-
-
Boring story.
- By Lia on 07-21-23
By: Sandra Owens
-
Just My Luck
- By: Andrea Bramhall
- Narrated by: Rachael Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Genna Collins works a dead end job, loves her family, her girlfriend, and her friends. When she wins the biggest Euromillions jackpot on record everything changes . . . and not always for the best. When Abi Kitson fell in love she always knew it would go unrequited. The woman of her dreams was so close yet seemingly untouchable for so many reasons. Reasons like—they are best friends, or the big age gap, or the 'other' woman, nevermind Abi's own baggage.
-
-
Good
- By Wendy Davidson on 10-25-24
By: Andrea Bramhall
-
Every Anxious Wave
- By: Mo Daviau
- Narrated by: Zach Villa
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Why would we need music if our lives were exactly as we wanted them to be? Karl Bender is a quiet guy who lives in three places: his bar, his apartment, and the cheap Mediterranean place on the corner that keeps him well fed with his daily portion of hummus and chicken shwarma. But that's all about to change. When he stumbles upon a time-traveling wormhole, Karl develops a business selling access to people who want to go back in time to hear their favorite bands.
-
-
Frustrating
- By Brit N Jonn Designs on 03-31-16
By: Mo Daviau
-
Whiskey & Ribbons
- By: Leesa Cross-Smith
- Narrated by: Larry Heron, Joe Bearor, Tunisia Hardison
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Set in contemporary Louisville, Leesa Cross-Smith's mesmerizing first novel surrounding the death of a police officer is a requiem for marriage, friendship, and family, from an author Roxane Gay has called "a consummate storyteller". Evi - a classically-trained ballerina - was nine months pregnant when her husband Eamon was killed in the line of duty on a steamy morning in July. Now, it is winter, and Eamon's adopted brother Dalton has moved in to help her raise six-month-old Noah.
-
-
Beautifully Tragic and Heart Healing
- By Jennifer Glover on 08-17-18
-
An Abundance of Katherines
- By: John Green
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact. On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has $10,000 in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun - but no Katherines.
-
-
struggled to finish listening
- By Daniel on 03-11-20
By: John Green
-
Does This Baby Make Me Look Straight?
- Confessions of a Gay Dad
- By: Dan Bucatinsky
- Narrated by: Dan Bucatinsky
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 2005, Dan Bucatinsky and his partner, Don Roos, found themselves in an L.A. delivery room, decked out in disposable scrubs from shower cap to booties, to welcome their adopted baby girl - launching their frantic yet memorable adventures into fatherhood. Two and a half years later, the same birth mother - a heroically generous, pack-a-day teen with a passion for Bridezilla marathons and Mountain Dew - delivered a son into the couple’s arms.
-
-
A Parenting Book with Humor and Heart
- By The Reading Date on 02-05-14
By: Dan Bucatinsky
-
The Story of Arthur Truluv
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Berg
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Berg
- Length: 6 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Three people find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of belonging in this deeply moving novel. Arthur, an old widower struggling to overcome his grief, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who avoids school by hiding out where Arthur goes every day for lunch. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation.
-
-
Sickly Sweet
- By Amazon Customer on 01-19-18
By: Elizabeth Berg
-
Gemini
- By: Penelope Ward
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Diner waitress Allison Abraham has no idea her mundane life is about to change dramatically the day she serves a devastatingly handsome customer. Allison is immediately captivated by the mysterious man who stares through her soul with his electric-blue eyes. After he abruptly leaves the restaurant, she can't get him out of her head. She has no idea that he actually came on a mission to find her. Cedric Callahan wasn't expecting to fall in love at first sight with the pretty waitress he'd set out to find.
-
-
WHAT A JOURNEY, WHAT A LOVE STORY & WHAT AN AUTHOR
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 11-14-16
By: Penelope Ward
-
New American Best Friend
- By: Olivia Gatwood
- Narrated by: Olivia Gatwood
- Length: 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
One of the most recognizable young poets in America, Olivia Gatwood dazzles with her tribute to contemporary American womanhood in her debut book, New American Best Friend. Gatwood's poems deftly deconstruct traditional stereotypes. The focus shifts from childhood to adulthood, gender to sexuality, violence to joy. And always and inexorably, the book moves toward celebration, culminating in a series of odes: odes to the body, to tough women, to embracing your own journey in all its failures and triumphs.
-
-
Amazing poetry, but the music
- By Keaira on 07-29-19
By: Olivia Gatwood
-
Indulge
- By: Georgia Cates
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Ava Erickson
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Beau Emerson is no gentleman. Those hazel eyes. That filthy mouth. That greedy, hard body. It all equates to one thing. Irresistible. One look and I know he'll bruise my lips and scar my knees. He'll give me the best nine days of my life while ruining me in the most beautiful way imaginable. And I'll let him, because he has the power to talk me into anything. Except one thing. Staying. I have no choice. The things I desire from him will destroy me in the end.
-
-
INDULGE YOURSELVES IN THIS STEAMY LOVE STORY
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 04-23-16
By: Georgia Cates
-
Lottery
- By: Patricia Wood
- Narrated by: Paul Michael
- Length: 8 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Perry's IQ is only 76, but he's not stupid. His grandmother taught him everything he needs to know to survive: she taught him to write things down so he won't forget them. She taught him to play the lottery every week. And, most important, she taught him whom to trust. When Gram dies, Perry is left orphaned and bereft at the age of 31. Then his weekly Washington State Lottery ticket wins him 12 million dollars, and he finds he has more family than he knows what to do with.
-
-
lottery
- By hilobilly on 08-09-07
By: Patricia Wood
-
In Search of Cleo
- How I Found My Pussy and Lost My Mind
- By: Gina Gershon
- Narrated by: Gina Gershon
- Length: 3 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Search of Cleo follows Gina’s desperation and despair when her assistant loses her beloved cat, Cleo. Gina spends two months roaming the back streets of Los Angeles at all hours of the night, searching for Cleo and meeting several quirky and outrageous characters who help or hinder her in different ways, including Ellen DeGeneres, who searches with Gina and recommends her pet psychic, Sonia; Arthur, the newspaper delivery man who gives her advice; and the mysterious fortune-teller....
-
-
Loved it!!!
- By Kathryn Prusick Gould on 03-15-16
By: Gina Gershon
-
Talk British to Me
- By: Robin Bielman
- Narrated by: Reagan West, Oliver Clarke
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As the Dating Guy on L.A.'s top morning show, I give the single guy's perspective on dating, love, and sex - and I give great advice. Everyone's hooking up...well, except for me. Sure, I can get any woman I want, but I've got a no-relationship clause in my contract, and the only woman I want has relationship written all over her. Unfortunately, she wants nothing to do with me. At all. Something about the next Ice Age might have even come up in her rebuttal. Adorable.
-
-
Not a fan
- By Amazon Customer on 02-08-23
By: Robin Bielman
What listeners say about 250 Ultimate Funny Pick Up Lines
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kindle Customer
- 10-21-22
good
Loved it !! this story. the narrator is so fantastic it's like your really there!! good overall
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amanda
- 12-18-20
Lame, pretty stupid
The title of my review says it all. Not very funny. I would buy this. Definitely don’t waste your few dollars.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
- GeddyLeeGlee
- 03-29-17
I bought it so you don't have to! Pretty bad.
Other than what's in the description, there is pretty much nothing funny here, stuff you'd hear in middle school hallways.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful