Preview
  • All the F*cks I Cannot Give

  • By: Michael Carlon
  • Narrated by: Mike Dawson
  • Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (26 ratings)

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All the F*cks I Cannot Give

By: Michael Carlon
Narrated by: Mike Dawson
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Publisher's summary

Kelly Carson is one of those Clark Kent-like guys who just can't stand up for himself. His wife doesn't love him, his boss doesn't respect him, and his father refers to Kelly's twin sister as the son he always wanted. With three weeks to go before Christmas, Kelly receives the shock of his life when he's fired over the telephone while waiting to catch a flight.

Terri Flynn, a free-spirited starlet who is running away to New York after walking off the set of her latest feature film, overhears Kelly's unceremonious firing and becomes hell-bent on transforming him from the Clark Kent he is into the Superman the impulsive actress feels he's destined to become.

After their flight to New York is cancelled, Kelly and Terri take a last-minute jaunt to Hawaii, putting in motion a series of hilarious events and misadventures that will have you belly laughing throughout.

From the beaches of Maui to the concrete jungle of New York and the underground swinger scene of suburban Chicago, Michael Carlon's fifth novel, All the F*cks I Cannot Give, will have wishing you were in Kelly Carson's shoes for just one day.

©2017 Michael Carlon (P)2018 Michael Carlon
  • Unabridged Audiobook
  • Categories: Romance
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What listeners say about All the F*cks I Cannot Give

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A fun listen

The description for this book was spot on, so I won't give away any spoilers here. I will say that the narrator has the perfect voice for the character telling the story--he sounds kind of like a cross between Jack Nicholson and George Carlin, and hits all the right comedic notes. I will also say that while this is a funny novel that made me laugh several times, do not listen to it out loud within earshot of young children unless you want to invite some very awkward questions, lol. It is most definitely adult humor. Other than that, enjoy! I did :)

I was given this book free at my request and have voluntarily provided this review.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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LOL hysterical

My first from the author, I really enjoyed it. I totally recommend it, if you enjoy off-the-wall humour, witty comebacks, and not easily offended by 'choice' words. I was laughing out loud most of Kelly's journey to self-re-discovery and leaving behind his fear of confrontation. I am glad it worked out for him, especially that he got his revenge on those who took advantage of his good nature, I was cheering him on. He got the girl too, Terri and him are a match well made. Got to meet some great secondary characters, some that I loved and some I loved to hate. I hope there will be more of Kelly's adventures.

Mr. Dawson is a new voice to me and I think he delivered the story and then some... expressive, passionate, just enough rasp, perfect for this story told from the hero's POV.

Now that I finished the book, the cover makes sense and it totally fits.

I received this free review copy audio book at my request and this review is voluntary.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Out of five stars, I give us six

I love the storyline I especially love all the movie quotes, musical references, and 80s references. It was like my brain coming out on paper the way I can talk, so it was easy to listen to, and fantastic storyline that contains life lessons and it’s very entertaining.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

A "Hunter" in the Making

This book literally had me rolling with laughter! I could not stop listening! The extra step with Mike Dawson and his almost deadpan, don't give an f attitude as the main character, Kelly, finds out what he is made of. HIGHLY recommend this book.

This audiobook was provided by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review courtesy of AudiobookBoom

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

What a hoot !!

Great story, great characters, great narrator and a laugh a minute.
I listened to this book in one day and haven’t enjoyed one this much in ages.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Smart and funny

The was a funny and original book. The performance was perfect. Looking forward to checking out more from both the author and narrator.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent!!!

I cannot begin to tell you how much I enjoyed this listen. It. Was. Excellent.

First, the narration. This story is told from a single POV and it could have easily been a snore. Not in the hands of this narrator. Not only do we get to enjoy the blase attitude of Kelly Carson, our main character, but his internal dialogue was delivered in such a way that I couldn't help but snicker.

The story was fun and could easily have been titled "The making of Kelly Carson." His road to finding himself was seriously special. Kelly's desire to avoid confrontation had been his MO but over the course of the listen, he was forced to reconsider that and more.

I know there really is no opportunity for this book to be a series but man, would I have loved that!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

From Clark Kent to Superman in one leap!

Cautious and good-natured 42-year-old Kelly Carson’s life hits a new low when he is callously fired from his marketing job while waiting in an airport lounge. But then he meets wild and impulsive actress Terri Flynn and as they spontaneously head off for an island getaway, Kelly’s formerly uneventful, settled life suddenly becomes exhilarating, and he finds himself transforming from an unassuming middle-aged man in a loveless marriage to his very own version of cool and assertive Superman.

Kelly’s journey to turning his life around is simply hilarious and I found him to be a character I could easily root for. This was a quick listen and light entertainment. There is nothing too deep here; in fact, it is all pretty predictable, but it’s cleverly done and well written, and it was a great break from my usual diet of thrillers and dark materials. It’s a very uplifting book and I appreciated the message of wisely considering what you give and don’t give a f*ck about.

Along the way, the listener gets a comedic insight into marketing/focus groups and the entertainment industry from movie production to publishing books. Looking into the author’s background, you can’t help but wonder how much of his own experience in marketing and writing/publishing he has used for the creation of his protagonist. There is an abundance of music and TV/movie references. Some from the 80s/90s that went over my head, but I didn’t mind.

As you can guess from the title, if you find listening to some strong adult language objectionable then this may not be the right book for you. There are sexual innuendos and bad language galore. None of it is any way offending though, at least in MHO, instead, as mentioned before, it is very, very funny.

Mike Dawson was perfect for this first-person point-of-view narration. He really took on the persona of the main character and delivered the lines just right, expressing Kelly’s feelings, worries and humor to the point. There were no issues with the production of the audio.

I will definitely be checking out Michael Carlon’s other books when I need another pick-me-up and would love to listen to another narration by Mike Dawson.

Audiobook was provided for review by the author/narrator/publisher.
Please find this complete review and many others at my review blog.
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Fun Fun Fun

In the Trump era we need Fun and this Audio Book dellivers.


You do not need details the Book is well done the Narrator delivers the goods.


Download and have a good time.




This book was given to me for free at my request and I provided this voluntary review.

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3 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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I gave to many f*cks...

My only complaint about this audible was the musical interludes between chapters.... I could do without those. Otherwise, this book was hilarious!! I already miss the characters.

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2 people found this helpful