Allies in Healing
When the Person You Love Is a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse
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Narrated by:
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Xe Sands
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Sean Pratt
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By:
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Laura Davis
About this listen
"But what about me?"
"Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues?"
"Will we ever make love again?"
"Will the survivor love me in the end?"
"How do I know if I should throw in the towel?"
Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners - girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers - trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers:
- The Basics - answers common questions about sexual abuse.
- Allies in Healing - introduces key concepts of working and growing together.
- My Needs and Feelings - teaches partners to recognize, value, and express their own needs.
- Dealing with Crisis - includes strategies for handling suicidal feelings, regression, and hopelessness.
- Intimacy and Communication - offers practical advice on dealing with distancing, control, trust, and fighting.
- Sex - provides guidelines for coping with flashbacks, lack of desire, differences in sexual needs, and frustration.
- Family lssues - suggests a range of ideas for interacting with the survivor's family.
- Partners' Stories - explores the struggles, triumphs, and courage of eight partners.
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In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. In The New Codependency, she clears up misconceptions, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness.
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Please offer with different narrator
- By Janie on 11-12-09
By: Melody Beattie
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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Post-Romantic Stress Disorder
- What to Do When the Honeymoon Is Over
- By: John Bradshaw
- Narrated by: Joe Barrett
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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John Bradshaw is arguably the most accomplished and well-known leader alive today in the addictions field. He taught us about functional and dysfunctional families, showed us how shame could become toxic and poisonous to our core selves, and helped us understand and heal the wounded, vulnerable "inner child" conceived by, and thriving in, that environment. In Post-Romantic Stress Disorder (PRSD), Bradshaw gives readers a clear explanation of the difference between falling in love, lust, and true love.
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How do you own the world, how do you own disorder?
- By Derek G. on 01-13-17
By: John Bradshaw
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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Loving People
- How to Love and Be Loved
- By: John Townsend
- Narrated by: Matthew Josdal
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Best-selling author Dr. John Townsend teaches you that love can actually be learned and gives you the steps and tools to become skilled in love. Using his trademark stories to flesh out the important principles, Dr. Townsend covers receiving love, connecting love, healing love, confronting love, romantic love, and surrendering love. Through his teaching, listeners will discover - and start enjoying - the words, actions, and experiences of authentic love.
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Very insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 05-17-19
By: John Townsend
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Getting Past Your Past
- Take Control of Your Life With Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy
- By: Francine Shapiro
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether we've experienced small setbacks or major traumas, we are all influenced by memories and experiences we may not remember or don't fully understand. Getting Past Your Past offers practical procedures that demystify the human condition and empower listeners looking to achieve real change. An easy conversational style, humor, and fascinating real life stories make it simple to understand the brain science behind why we get stuck in various ways and what we can about it.
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NOT ENOUGH ON SOLUTIONS
- By MZHOLLAND on 08-20-12
By: Francine Shapiro
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How Can I Forgive You?
- The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To
- By: Janis A. Spring, Michael Spring
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist and the award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us.
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I'm a Christian
- By jelady on 06-14-19
By: Janis A. Spring, and others
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Stop Hurting the Woman You Love
- Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Behavior
- By: Charlie Donaldson MA, Randy Flood MA, Elaine Eldridge PhD
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 6 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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End the cycle of abuse-for good. Authors Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood, and Elaine Eldridge uncover a proven action plan that violent men can use to change their behavior. Filled with insightful questionnaires and actual case histories, the essential how-to book Stop Hurting the Woman You Love, will help end abusive patterns in favor of healthier, happier relationships....
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Saved us from a divorce!
- By Anonymous User on 11-15-21
By: Charlie Donaldson MA, and others
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Love Is a Choice
- The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
- By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minirth, Dr. Paul Meier
- Narrated by: Christopher Solimene
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In Love Is a Choice, best-selling doctors Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier walk you through their 10 proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.
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Great book, horrible Performance
- By Jeff on 03-15-18
By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, and others
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I Want This to Work
- An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age
- By: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Earnshaw LMFT CGT
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
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I want this to work too. Excellent information, excruciating execution
- By Sunny Bettley on 03-17-23
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How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It
- By: Patricia Love, Steven Stosny
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
What listeners say about Allies in Healing
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-10-17
Very helpful for partners
I am so thankful for this book. It helps me understand what my loved one is going through and how to understand the pain and process of healing. I highly recommend to partners!
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- Jason Griggs
- 01-15-17
Not too opinionated, I was surprised
Really helped me to understand what they've been going through on the other side. I never really questioned, so I didn't know what I didn't know. This book reveals the nuts and bolts of some of the more devestating aspects of mental illness and overall stresses that affect survivors (abuse victims are not referred to as victims). The author will help you understand, from a more relative position than I'm used to. I like the take it or leave it kind of explanation, so as not to come off as pretentious or patronizing. Excellent book. Read twice.
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2 people found this helpful
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- PNW Prime
- 06-30-14
It's not just me?
What made the experience of listening to Allies in Healing the most enjoyable?
Eye opening, lots of detail and perspective from both sides (survivor and spouse thereof).
What other book might you compare Allies in Healing to and why?
None that I have found yet.
What’s an idea from the book that you will remember?
Very motivating to hear the stories of those that made it through!
Any additional comments?
As spouses we need to understand that we all bring baggage, but for survivors that baggage is something entirely different.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Julie Slyter
- 04-07-15
Great Q & A format
Liked the Q&A format. Moved quickly and answered many of my questions. Frustrating to learn this will be a long process.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tia
- 03-20-18
Overall a great book.
It gives practical advice how to relate with your mate and real life stories that gives a broader picture of what you may be going through. Great for married couples, engaged persons, boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to get a better understanding of what your loved one is going through.
I gave it 4 stars because as a Christian it has some curse words in it which is one of the drawbacks. Also there are some principles that I didn’t agree with as it relates to sexuality.
Otherwise I learned so much and have gotten a whole new perspective on the extensive damage that sexual abuse causes. It gives you the opportunity to enter into the world of the survivor and why they act the way they do. The conflicting emotions that they feel. That they want to heal but it’s hard for them to cope but through therapy, support groups and your love and patience they can get through it.
Ultimately this book gives you hope and encouragement that even though things are extremely difficult you can get through the tough times and become stronger as a couple as a result of the challenges. At the end there are stories of persons sharing their personal experience which I think it a great feature in the book.
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- C-Simpson
- 09-26-18
important read
If you found this book, it's probably important that you read or listen to it.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 10-20-24
Worst advice ever!!!!
Couldn’t even complete the book and I’ve completed about 50 some odd hours in the last couple days about self help and helping others. Just say wait it out and decide if you’re going to stay. Yea this is where we are. Your book is no help at all. Save your money, credit and time.
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- Leonie
- 02-28-17
A horrible resource for partners
This book is written for the partners of sexual abuse survivors, however, because the author is herself a sexual abuse survivor, the advice & opinions offered are, naturally from that perspective. This book would have been MUCH more valuable if it had been written FROM the perspective of the intended audience. The author cannot and does not understand the personal journey of a partner. The book is laced with an overall guilt trip if you are not able to stay in the relationship, devote yourself FULLY to your survivors needs and sacrifice your own needs and happiness. Those that choose to stay are referred to as people who truly love and are committed to their survivor. If you already feel guilty as a partner for being unable to align with this kind of saint-like selflessness, then this book is NOT for you. Save yourself additional pain and find material written by an author who has at least a slight idea what you're going through.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Annie Pierson
- 11-22-18
I know it’s an important book but....
This book gave some great case studies but no direction or advice on how to manage - no tools. Also I have to say the narrator was the worst I’ve ever heard - she sounded like her lips were trembling the entire time. Poor affect and not genuine as it continued throughout the entire book. A stronger voice would have been more appropriate for people looking for strength.
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3 people found this helpful