
You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships
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Narrated by:
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Martin LaGrande
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Mike Berlak
About this listen
A groundbreaking approach for practicing courageous love and resilient intimacy—from the creator of Internal Family Systems therapy
Do loving relationships end because couples lack communication skills, struggle to empathize, and fail to accommodate each other’s needs? That’s a common belief within and outside of the therapeutic world… but what if it’s all wrong? In You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For, Dr. Richard Schwartz, the celebrated founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, offers a new way—a path toward courageous love that replaces the striving, dependent, and disconnected approach to solving relationship challenges.
The breakthrough realization of IFS is that our psyche contains multiple parts, each with a life of its own. Most problems in relationships arise because we unknowingly burden our partner with the task of caring for our disowned and unloved parts. In this book, you’ll discover essential insights and tools to foster healthy dialogue with your parts and your partner, including:
• How to recognize and disarm the cultural assumptions that create shame, guilt, and isolation in relationships
• The Three Projects—why we fool ourselves into thinking we must change our partner, change ourselves, or give up on true intimacy
• Finding and Healing Exiles—transforming the way our most vulnerable parts influence the way we treat each other
• How to reorient relationship conflicts to help each of us grow toward the Self—the center of our clarity and wisdom
• Courageous Love—building resilient intimacy with each other and our parts to create healthy, lasting partnerships
“No one can do the work of healing our orphaned parts for us,” says Dr. Schwartz. “Yet when we begin with Self-leadership, a relationship can become a safe place in which we help each other heal and grow.” Here is an invaluable guide for therapists and laypersons alike to promote connection, trust, and understanding—within yourself and with the one you love.
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“This profound and readable book provides clear guidelines for therapists and clients alike. In ways that complement my own work, clients learn how to unload the cultural and family burdens that block intimacy by keeping them locked in rigid gender roles. Therapists learn an empowering and practical process for treating couples. I enthusiastically recommend this book to anyone serious about improving relationships in the world today!”—Terrence Real, author of I Don’t Want to Talk about It, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage
“This highly original book offers critical new insights into obstacles to the dance of intimacy. Most of us have inner exiled parts that carry burdens of shame and abandonment from our past. These interfere with our capacity for intimacy. Dick Schwartz shows us how to use the exiles our partners trigger in us to find and heal the source—our original attachment injuries. This releases our capacity to be fully alive in relationships.”—Bessel A. van der Kolk, MD, medical director, the Trauma Center, and professor of psychiatry, Boston University School of Medicine
“You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For is my relationship bible! The IFS principles and methods shared in this book have offered me direct access to ‘courageous love’ and a greater connection to my husband than I ever thought possible. The book is on my bedside table, and I turn to it as a nightly ritual.”—Gabby Bernstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Universe Has Your Back
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Story
When your parents are pathologically self-centered, manipulative, or emotionally abusive, the pain they cause is deep and often difficult to put into words. You may experience anxiety, depression, complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD), low self-esteem, addiction, or other mental health conditions as an adult. But it was not your fault, and there are tools you can use to heal the trauma caused by your childhood.
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Felt words were given to my experiences
- By Britney on 07-02-24
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I Didn't Sign Up for This
- A Couples Therapist Shares Real-Life Stories of Breaking Patterns and Finding Joy in Relationships . . . Including Her Own
- By: Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
- Narrated by: Dr. Tracy Dalgleish
- Length: 9 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Couples therapist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish has spent the last seventeen years dedicated to helping hundreds of couples in distress find hope and healing, sometimes by staying together and other times not. Breakdowns in communication, lack of intimacy, infidelity, overbearing in-laws and exes (to name a few)―she's seen it all. Shortly after the birth of her first child, Dr. Tracy suddenly began to see herself in her clients' narratives.
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Inaccurate info regarding affairs
- By M. Nelson on 03-12-24
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The Safest Place Possible: A Guide to Healing and Transformation
- By: Debbie Mirza
- Narrated by: Debbie Mirza
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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The Safest Place Possible is a journey to self-love and healing. If you have lost yourself in an unhealthy or traumatic relationship and want to find your way back to who you really are, if you have had the rug pulled out from under you, if you are experiencing anxiety and fear, if you are unsure of your future, this is the book for you. This book is both a memoir as well as an incredibly helpful guide to healing through transforming the relationship you have with yourself.
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So grateful for this book!
- By Sunny on 08-03-19
By: Debbie Mirza
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Internal Family Systems Skills Training Manual
- Trauma-Informed Treatment for Anxiety, Depression, PTSD & Substance Abuse
- By: Frank G. Anderson, Richard C. Schwartz
- Narrated by: Douglas James
- Length: 5 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) provides a revolutionary treatment plan for PTSD, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, and more. Using a non-pathologizing, accelerated approach—rooted in neuroscience—IFS applies inner resources and self-compassion for healing emotional wounding at its core. This new audio manual offers straight-forward explanations and illustrates a wide variety of applications. Easy to listen to and highly practical.
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Not Good as an Audiobook
- By Alyssa Joy on 08-03-21
By: Frank G. Anderson, and others
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Calming the Emotional Storm
- Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Manage Your Emotions and Balance Your Life
- By: Sheri Van Dijk MSW
- Narrated by: Rebecca Roberts
- Length: 5 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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When you have difficulties managing your emotions, it can feel like you're losing control of your whole life. Anger, hurt, grief, worry, and other intense feelings can be overwhelming, and how you react to these emotions can impact your ability to maintain relationships, succeed at work, or even think straight! If you find it difficult to understand, express, and process intense emotions - and most of us do - this book is for you.
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Don't let title throw you off
- By Allison R. on 02-10-17
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Somatic Internal Family Systems Therapy
- Awareness, Breath, Resonance, Movement, and Touch in Practice
- By: Susan McConnell, Richard Schwartz PhD - foreword
- Narrated by: Julie Slater
- Length: 12 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Discover the innovative intersection of somatic therapy and Internal Family Systems (IFS), featuring 5 core practices to transform modern therapeutic approaches. Enhance your clinical practice and patient outcomes by skillfully uniting body and mind through an evidence-based therapeutic modality—endorsed by leaders in the field, including Richard Schwartz.
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Fantastic book!
- By BDM on 03-27-22
By: Susan McConnell, and others
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Listening When Parts Speak
- A Practical Guide to Healing with Internal Family Systems Therapy and Ancestor Wisdom
- By: Tamala Floyd LCSW
- Narrated by: Tamala Floyd LCSW
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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The Internal Family Systems (IFS) model of psychotherapy is acclaimed for its power to help us recognize and integrate disparate parts of ourselves—a revolutionary course of treatment that can yield extraordinary results. But not all the work of IFS takes place in the confines of traditional therapy sessions. In this thoughtful and compassionate guide, Tamala Floyd, LCSW, gives listeners the resources to expand their "parts work" beyond the therapist's office and into daily life—where the real healing happens.
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To the point
- By Anonymous User on 09-30-24
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Judgment Detox
- Release the Beliefs That Hold You Back from Living a Better Life
- By: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Bernstein
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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The Judgment Detox is an interactive process that calls on spiritual principles from the text A Course in Miracles, Kundalini yoga, meditation, EFT, and metaphysical teachings, allowing us to release the beliefs that hold us back from living a better life. Gabby has demystified these principles to make them easy to apply and commit to.
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Gabby Bernstein's Breakthrough
- By Posinerd on 01-05-18
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Laziness Does Not Exist
- By: Devon Price PhD
- Narrated by: Em Grosland
- Length: 7 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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From social psychologist Dr. Devon Price, a conversational, stirring call to “a better, more human way to live” (Cal Newport, New York Times best-selling author) that examines the “laziness lie” - which falsely tells us we are not working or learning hard enough.
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An Absolute Waste of Time. Not practical at all.
- By Graham Austin on 07-25-21
By: Devon Price PhD
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Neuro-Habits: Rewire Your Brain to Stop Self-Defeating Behaviors and Make the Right Choice Every Time
- Understand Your Brain Better, Book 7
- By: Peter Hollins
- Narrated by: Russell Newton
- Length: 3 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Neuro-Habits gets directly to the root of all behavior: the human brain. We will explore the quirks of the brain that create habits from both a psychological and neurological perspective and what we can do about it. This book also presents an in-depth view of the concept of habits and exactly what motivates us to act.
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Focus on Negative
- By Sheena on 04-04-24
By: Peter Hollins
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Confident Decision Making
- How to Make the Right Choice Every Time
- By: Roger Dawson
- Narrated by: Roger Dawson
- Length: 5 hrs and 51 mins
- Original Recording
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Every businessperson has to make decisions. Here's how to make them quickly, correctly and confidently.
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Excellent Practical Book
- By Amazon Customer on 12-24-14
By: Roger Dawson
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Workbook: What Happened to You?
- Healing Books, Book 1
- By: Liam Daniels, Alice Moore
- Narrated by: V L COLE
- Length: 2 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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“Workbook: What Happened to You?” not only provides all the powerful ideas, practices, and concepts that Oprah and Dr. Perry discuss in their original book in a clear and concise format, but it also offers interactive exercises, reflective and thought-provoking questions, tools, resources for healing, and supplementary information; all designed to enrich your understanding and help you apply what you’ve heard.
By: Liam Daniels, and others
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No Self, No Problem
- How Neuropsychology is Catching Up to Buddhism
- By: Chris Niebauer PhD
- Narrated by: Charlie Varon
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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In this groundbreaking audiobook, neuropsychology professor Chris Niebauer explains how after decades of research on the brain, Western science may have inadvertently confirmed a fundamental tenet of Buddhism: anatta, or the doctrine of "no self". Niebauer shows how findings in neuropsychology suggest that our sense of self is actually an illusion created by the left side of the brain and that it exists in the same way a mirage in the middle of the desert exists: as a thought rather than a thing.
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Everyone should be reading this!
- By Mary Lou on 01-02-20
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The Magic of Manifesting
- 15 Advanced Techniques to Attract Your Best Life, Even If You Think It's Impossible Now
- By: Ryuu Shinohara
- Narrated by: Jim Jorgensen
- Length: 3 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you easily complain or blame others whenever something isn’t going your way? Are you annoyed looking around and seeing others having exactly what you want in life? Believe it or not, you are the driver of your own life, and no one else can steal your seat...if you don’t let them. What if there were easy principles to get everything you want in life? Maybe, you already manifest regularly, or you’ve heard of it, but never tried it.
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Best Book Ever Made About Manifestation
- By DaSurfer on 05-12-21
By: Ryuu Shinohara
Clear examples of parts work
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To me, IFS is bridging, the very best of: Jungian, cognitive, narrative, systemic and relational theory. I love that IFS has social justice underpinning to it and the sociocultural explanations of couple relationships early in the book are superb. I would like to see IFS more deeply integrative of affective/emotional and somatic work.
A unique and very helpful approach for couples/relationships.
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Ground Breaking
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Key Insight
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Brought me to tears multiple times
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Make ourselves happy first
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everything
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helpful theory
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Amazing
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The exercises
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