Helen & Troy's Epic Road Quest
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Narrated by:
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Khristine Hvam
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By:
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A. Lee Martinez
About this listen
Witness the epic battle of the cyclops!
Visit the endangered dragon preserve! Please, no slaying.
Solve the mystery of The Mystery Cottage, if you dare!
Buy some knickknacks from The Fates! They might come in handy later.
On a road trip across an enchanted America, Helen and Troy will discover all this and more. If the curse placed upon them by an ancient god doesn't kill them or the pack of reluctant orc assassins don't catch up to them, Helen and Troy might reach the end their journey in one piece, where they might just end up destroying the world. Or at least a state or two.
A minotaur girl, an all-American boy, a three-legged dog, and a classic car are on the road to adventure, where every exit leads to adventure. Whether they like it or not.
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The Sword of Summer
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- By: Rick Riordan
- Narrated by: Christopher Guetig
- Length: 15 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Magnus Chase has always been a troubled kid. Since his mother's mysterious death, he's lived alone on the streets of Boston, surviving by his wits, keeping one step ahead of the police and the truant officers. One day, he's tracked down by an uncle he barely knows - a man his mother claimed was dangerous. Uncle Randolph tells him an impossible secret: Magnus is the son of a Norse god. The Viking myths are true. The gods of Asgard are preparing for war. Trolls, giants and worse monsters are stirring for doomsday.
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First I was disappointed, then I was angry
- By Jeanie on 10-08-15
By: Rick Riordan
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The Epic Crush of Genie Lo
- By: F. C. Yee
- Narrated by: Nancy Wu
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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The struggle to get into a top-tier college consumes 16-year-old Genie's every waking thought. But when she discovers she's a celestial spirit who's powerful enough to bash through the gates of heaven with her fists, her perfectionist existence is shattered. Enter Quentin, a transfer student from China whose tone-deaf assertiveness beguiles Genie to the brink of madness. Quentin nurtures Genie's bodacious transformation - sometimes gently, sometimes aggressively - as her sleepy suburb in the Bay Area comes under siege from hell spawn.
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Enjoyed it more than I expected.
- By kevin on 07-27-21
By: F. C. Yee
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Chasing the Moon
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Diana's life was in a rut - she hated her job, she was perpetually single, and she needed a place to live. But then the perfect apartment came along. It seemed too good to be true - because it was. As it turns out, the apartment was already inhabited - by monsters.
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Douglas Adams on Acid
- By Karen on 08-22-14
By: A. Lee Martinez
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The Nate Temple Series: Books 0-3
- The Nate Temple Series Boxset Book 1
- By: Shayne Silvers
- Narrated by: Joel Richards
- Length: 41 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Nate Temple, and I’m secretly a wizard. I ride a foul-mouthed unicorn, I drink with Achilles, and I’m pals with the Four Horsemen. I’ve even cow-tipped the Minotaur. I understand the theory of following the rules...I’m just not very good at the application. Because rules were meant to be broken, and St. Louis has a bit of a supernatural infestation these days. Someone should probably be keeping an eye on these things -and probably an eye on me, too. Before I blow up another building...or three.
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Basically Batman with lizard brain
- By Ross Hageman on 04-01-20
By: Shayne Silvers
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Kissed by Darkness
- A Sunwalker Saga Novel, Book 1
- By: Shéa MacLeod
- Narrated by: Emily Sutton-Smith
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Bounty hunter Morgan Bailey is still recouping from her latest vampire kill when she receives a new assignment: hunt down the sunwalker who stole a priceless amulet from a mysterious millionaire. Sunwalkers - vampires who are immune to sunlight - are notoriously difficult to find, let alone kill, but Morgan’s not worried. She’s never met a vampire she couldn’t dust. But when this particular sunwalker comes looking for her…well, all bets are off.
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Naff cover interesting original twist/plot
- By leanne on 10-19-12
By: Shéa MacLeod
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Finn Fancy Necromancy
- The Familia Arcana, Book 1
- By: Randy Henderson
- Narrated by: Todd Haberkorn
- Length: 11 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Finn Gramaraye was framed for the crime of dark necromancy at the age of 15 and exiled to the Other Realm for 25 years. But now that he's free, someone--probably the same someone--is trying to get him sent back. Finn has only a few days to discover who is so desperate to keep him out of the mortal world and find evidence to prove it to the Arcane Enforcers. They are going to be very hard to convince since he's already been convicted of trying to kill someone with dark magic.
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Witty New Fantasy Voice
- By Tango on 04-26-15
By: Randy Henderson
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Black Wings
- Black Wings Series, Book 1
- By: Christina Henry
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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As an Agent of Death, Madeline Black is responsible for escorting the souls of the dearly departed to the afterlife. It's a 24/7 job with a lousy benefits package. Maddy's position may come with magical powers and an impressive wingspan, but it doesn't pay the bills. And then there are her infuriating boss, tenant woes, and a cranky, popcorn-loving gargoyle to contend with. Things start looking up, though, when tall, dark, and handsome Gabriel Angeloscuro agrees to rent the empty apartment in Maddy's building
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Fallen Angels, Demons, and Nephilim... good start
- By A. Lund on 08-03-11
By: Christina Henry
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Carniepunk
- By: Rachel Caine, Rob Thurman, Kevin Hearne, and others
- Narrated by: Candace Thaxton, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 14 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Come one, come all! The Carniepunk Midway promises you every thrill and chill a traveling carnival can provide. But fear not! Urban fantasy's biggest stars are here to guide you through this strange and dangerous world....
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Its A Separate 14 Short Stories
- By Hassan on 07-27-13
By: Rachel Caine, and others
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Nice Dragons Finish Last
- Heartstrikers, Book 1
- By: Rachel Aaron
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 13 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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Audie Award, Fantasy, 2016. As the smallest dragon in the Heartstriker clan, Julius survives by a simple code: keep quiet, don't cause trouble, and stay out of the way of bigger dragons. But this meek behavior doesn't fly in a family of ambitious magical predators, and his mother, Bethesda the Heartstriker, has finally reached the end of her patience.
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A Solid 4 ½ Stars
- By Marcela G on 01-06-15
By: Rachel Aaron
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Witchling
- Otherworld, Book 1
- By: Yasmine Galenorn
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs
- Unabridged
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We're the D'Artigo sisters: Half-human, half-Faerie, we are savvy - and sexy - operatives for the Otherworld Intelligence Agency. But our mixed-blood heritage short-circuits our talents at all the wrong times. My sister Delilah shapeshifts into a tabby cat whenever she's stressed. Menolly's a vampire who is still trying to get the hang of being undead. And me? I'm Camille - a wicked-good witch. Except my magic is as unpredictable as the weather, which my enemies are about to find out the hard way.
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Meh.
- By Charlene on 07-02-10
By: Yasmine Galenorn
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Dark and Stormy Knights
- By: Ilona Andrews, Jim Butcher, Shannon K Butcher, and others
- Narrated by: Renee Raudman, Joe Barrett, Marc Vietor, and others
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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It was a dark and stormy knight, and nine dark defenders embarked upon a most perilous quest. They're the ultimate defenders of humanity, modern day knights who do dark deeds for all the right reasons. In this all-star collection, nine of today's hottest paranormal authors bring us thrilling, all-new stories of supernatural knights that are brimming with magic mystery and mayhem.
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Bought this for Dresden, loved the rest!
- By Moon River on 06-27-12
By: Ilona Andrews, and others
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Emperor Mollusk. Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth. Not bad for a guy without a spine. But what's a villain to do after he's done... everything. With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel aliens invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course. Retirement isn't easy though.
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Hilariously wacky!
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Teri and Phil had never needed their own personal god. But when Phil is passed up for a promotion - again - it's time to take matters into their own hands. And look online. Choosing a god isn't as simple as you would think. There are too many choices; and they often have very hefty prices for their eternal devotion: blood, money, sacrifices, and vows of chastity. But then they find Luka, raccoon god of prosperity. All he wants is a small cut of their good fortune. Oh - and to crash on their couch for a few days.
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The wizard Margle the Horrendous takes special pride in never killing his enemies. Instead, he transforms them into various accursed forms and locks them away in his castle. It's Nessy's duty to tend this castle. Its a lot of work, but she manages, taking pride in housekeeping talents that keep the castle from collapsing into chaos. But when Margle suddenly dies, everything begins to unravel.
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Enjoyable!
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Diana's life was in a rut - she hated her job, she was perpetually single, and she needed a place to live. But then the perfect apartment came along. It seemed too good to be true - because it was. As it turns out, the apartment was already inhabited - by monsters.
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Douglas Adams on Acid
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Gil's All Fright Diner
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Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg.
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I loved it!
- By colleen on 05-27-12
By: A. Lee Martinez
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The Automatic Detective
- By: A. Lee Martinez
- Narrated by: Marc Vietor
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Even in Empire City, a town where weird science is the hope for tomorrow, it's hard for a robot to make his way. It's even harder for a robot named Mack Megaton, a hulking machine designed to bring mankind to its knees. But Mack's not interested in world domination. He's just a bot trying to get by, trying to demonstrate that he isn't just an automated smashing machine, and to earn his citizenship in the process. It should be as easy as crushing a tank for Mack, but some bots just cant catch a break.
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SOME DAYS, I WISH I HAD BEEN MADE A TOASTER
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 02-11-18
By: A. Lee Martinez
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Emperor Mollusk. Intergalactic Menace. Destroyer of Worlds. Conqueror of Other Worlds. Mad Genius. Ex-Warlord of Earth. Not bad for a guy without a spine. But what's a villain to do after he's done... everything. With no new ambitions, he's happy to pitch in and solve the energy crisis or repel aliens invaders should the need arise, but if he had his way, he'd prefer to be left alone to explore the boundaries of dangerous science. Just as a hobby, of course. Retirement isn't easy though.
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Hilariously wacky!
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Divine Misfortune
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Teri and Phil had never needed their own personal god. But when Phil is passed up for a promotion - again - it's time to take matters into their own hands. And look online. Choosing a god isn't as simple as you would think. There are too many choices; and they often have very hefty prices for their eternal devotion: blood, money, sacrifices, and vows of chastity. But then they find Luka, raccoon god of prosperity. All he wants is a small cut of their good fortune. Oh - and to crash on their couch for a few days.
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The wizard Margle the Horrendous takes special pride in never killing his enemies. Instead, he transforms them into various accursed forms and locks them away in his castle. It's Nessy's duty to tend this castle. Its a lot of work, but she manages, taking pride in housekeeping talents that keep the castle from collapsing into chaos. But when Margle suddenly dies, everything begins to unravel.
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Enjoyable!
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Chasing the Moon
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Diana's life was in a rut - she hated her job, she was perpetually single, and she needed a place to live. But then the perfect apartment came along. It seemed too good to be true - because it was. As it turns out, the apartment was already inhabited - by monsters.
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Douglas Adams on Acid
- By Karen on 08-22-14
By: A. Lee Martinez
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Gil's All Fright Diner
- By: A. Lee Martinez
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Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg.
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I loved it!
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SOME DAYS, I WISH I HAD BEEN MADE A TOASTER
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What listeners say about Helen & Troy's Epic Road Quest
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Walter W. Chu
- 10-24-17
Good deal
Good story.
Rather imaginative as far as I am concerned. But I find most of his stories that way. The delightful part is that they are not part of single universe where the characters run into each other. While not bad, it is over done with most writers. Martinez has a good imagination and a decent skill at story telling.
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- Patrick DeWind
- 04-15-23
Funny and cute
My third Martinez book, and like the others I thought it was funny and strangely cute. I'll have to listen to it again when I'm on s road trip.
Narrator was great. Good character voices, decent pacing, and good enunciation.
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- Eric
- 03-19-14
American Gods "Light"
What did you like best about this story?
This was a fun story. My best attempt at describing it would be a "light", younger audience version of American Gods. The narrator did a great job and the story has few slow spots.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Andromeda
- 02-15-14
A new twist on heroic quests, bossy gods and myth
Where does Helen & Troy's Epic Road Quest rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
In the middle. I've definitely listened to better, but there are many books out that there are worse.
What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?
The challenges were insteresting. I loved that they had dinner with one opponent, pre-battle, and that mystery house had such a mystery. The least interesting parts were everything related to Helen. She had the random droll comment but most of her story line was a never-ending self-awareness conversation about her own mythological-ness. It wasn't amusing or interesting...just long. And repetitive.
Which scene was your favorite?
Dinner with the cyclops.
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- Judy
- 03-19-14
Fun fluffy read
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Humorous romp with a enough human compassion to keep it grounded in the fantasy world.
Have you listened to any of Khristine Hvam’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Excellent narrator.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Vimes
- 10-24-21
Best voice actor ever!
I'm serious, I haven't heard better. I read this book when it first came out. A Lee Martinez is one of my favorite authors. Decided to get the audible to re-live it on my commute. I was floored when the narration was better than me reading it!
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- J Landau
- 03-13-14
totally silly....and that is a plus!
Just plain fun, this story takes you on an updated ride through ancient quests. The notion that beasts mythical in our normal world are just regular folks pokes good fun at "diversity" in gender, racial and ethnic politics. The gratuitous fighting is not so violent and the moral to "be yourself" is not too heavy-handed. A fun listen.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Yo & Gina
- 12-09-13
Fun as always!
I've read a few A. Lee Martinez, and this one did not disappoint. Lightweight and silly, they are definitely worth listening to if you like humor. There are better books out there that will really have you rolling on the floor laughing, with characters and a plot you can sink your teeth into. However, if you are out of those to read, Martinez will get you through until you find something better.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Darth Crowe
- 10-31-20
Perfection!!
A Lee Martinez is a god in his own right, and I love all of his novels. Interesting, pithy, and magical in an every day but never boring way.
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- spikeofspain
- 05-06-24
My fave narrator disappointed me
Not a super fan of this writer - their stories and arcs are repetitive and it gets forgettable really quickly. The reason I got this one was I love love this narrator who can elevate anything except their cockney or whatever British isles it was supposed to be accent was so dreadful it took me out of the story. Maybe theyre better at the posh accents but for this one, the producers should have paid for a good accent coach. I’m returning
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