Between Us
How Cultures Create Emotions
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Narrated by:
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Mikhaila Aaseng
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By:
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Batja Mesquita
About this listen
A pioneer of cultural psychology argues that emotions are not innate, but made as we live our lives together.
“How are you feeling today?” We may think of emotions as universal responses, felt inside. Using decades-long, cutting-edge research, acclaimed psychologist Batja Mesquita asks us to reconsider emotions through the lens of what they do in our relationships, both one-on-one and within larger social networks. From an outside-in perspective, readers will understand why pride in a Dutch context does not translate well to North Carolina, or why one’s anger at a boss does not mean the same as your anger to a partner in a close relationship. By looking outward at relationships at work, school, and home, we can better judge how our emotions will be understood, how they might change a situation, and how they change us.
Brilliantly synthesizing original psychological studies and stories from peoples across time and geography, Between Us skillfully argues that acknowledging differences in emotions allows us to find common ground, humanizing and humbling us all for the better.
©2022 Batja Mesquita (P)2022 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Boring and patronizing
- By KDS on 11-17-22
By: Jan Yager Ph.D.
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Putting Children First
- Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce
- By: JoAnne Pedro-Carroll
- Narrated by: Karen Saltus
- Length: 11 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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As Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll explains with clarity and compassion in this powerful book, parents can positively alter the immediate and long-term effects of divorce on their children. The key is proven, emotionally intelligent parenting strategies that promote children's emotional health, resilience, and ability to lead satisfying lives. Over the past three decades, Pedro-Carroll has worked with families in transition, conducted research, and developed and directed award- winning, court-endorsed programs that have helped thousands of families navigate divorce and its aftermath.
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PERFECT RESOURCE FOR SEPARATED/DIVORCED
- By Ly on 10-13-16
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The Myth of the Spoiled Child
- Challenging the Conventional Wisdom about Children and Parenting
- By: Alfie Kohn
- Narrated by: Alfie Kohn
- Length: 8 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Somehow, deeply conservative assumptions about how children behave and how parents raise them have become the conventional wisdom in our society. It's widely assumed that parents are both permissive and overprotective, unable to set limits and afraid to let their kids fail. We're told that young people receive trophies, praise, and A's too easily, and suffer from inflated self-esteem and insufficient self-discipline. However, complaints about pushover parents and entitled kids are actually decades old and driven, it turns out, by ideology more than evidence.
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good theories, no tangible or practical ideas.
- By Ben on 05-12-15
By: Alfie Kohn
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The Undervalued Self
- By: Elaine N. Aron
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Elaine Aron follows up her best sellers on the highly sensitive person with a groundbreaking new book on the undervalued self. She explains that self-esteem results from having a healthy balance of love and power in our lives. Readers will learn to incorporate love into situations that seem to require power and deal with power struggles that mask themselves as issues of love.
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Life Changing!
- By Salon Finished Dawn on 09-20-15
By: Elaine N. Aron
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The Curse of the Good Girl
- Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence
- By: Rachel Simmons
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
- Length: 7 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Rachel Simmons is a New York Times best-selling author and the founding director of the Girls' Leadership Institute. The Curse of the Good Girl looks into the phenomenon of the glass ceiling placed on girls who attempt to live up to the standard of being "good". Simmons then shows how parents can help build girls' self-esteem and give them the strength to pursue their goals.
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Best book for mom's of daughters that I have read
- By Wendy on 05-20-10
By: Rachel Simmons
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Differently Wired
- Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World
- By: Deborah Reber
- Narrated by: Deborah Reber
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Today millions of kids are stuck in a world that doesn't respect, support, or embrace who they really are - these are what Deborah Reber is calling the “differently wired” kids, the one in five children with ADHD, dyslexia, Asperger’s, and other neurodifferences. Their challenges are many. But now there’s hope. Written by Deborah Reber, a best-selling author and mother in the midst of an eye-opening journey with her son who is twice exceptional (he has ADHD, Asperger’s, and is highly gifted), Differently Wired is a how-to, a manifesto, a book of wise advice, and more.
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very well thought out but not for everyone
- By Trudy Owens on 01-01-19
By: Deborah Reber
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Onward
- Cultivating Emotional Resilience in Educators
- By: Elena Aguilar
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 13 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Onward tackles the problem of educator stress, and provides a practical framework for taking the burnout out of teaching. Stress is part of the job, but when 70 percent of teachers quit within their first five years because the stress is making them physically and mentally ill, things have gone too far. Unsurprisingly, these effects are highest in difficult-to-fill positions such as math, science, and foreign languages, and in urban areas and secondary classrooms - places where we need our teachers to be especially motivated and engaged.
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Narrator is a real dud!
- By Paris Granville on 08-11-18
By: Elena Aguilar
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The Compassionate Achiever
- How Helping Others Fuels Success
- By: Christopher L. Kukk
- Narrated by: Rick Adamson
- Length: 8 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades we've been told the key to prosperity is to look out for number one. But recent science shows that to achieve durable success, we need to be more than just achievers; we need to be compassionate achievers. New research in biology, neuroscience, and economics has found that compassion - recognizing a problem or caring about another's pain and making a commitment to help - not only improves others' lives; it can transform our own.
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Me me me
- By Someone or not? on 04-04-20
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The Upside of Your Dark Side
- Why Being Your Whole Self - Not Just Your "Good" Self - Drives Success and Fulfillment
- By: Todd Kashdan, Robert Biswas-Diener
- Narrated by: Jeff Cummings
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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In The Upside of Your Dark Side, two pioneering researchers in the field of psychology show that while mindfulness, kindness, and positivity can take us far, they cannot take us all the way. Sometimes, they can even hold us back. Emotions like anger, anxiety, or doubt might be uncomfortable, but it turns out that they are also incredibly useful.
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Boring and learned nothing
- By Taryn on 07-25-16
By: Todd Kashdan, and others
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Positive Parenting
- An Essential Guide
- By: Rebecca Eanes
- Narrated by: Callie Beaulieu
- Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular parenting blogger Rebecca Eanes shares her hard-won wisdom for overcoming limiting thought patterns and recognizing emotional triggers, as well as advice for connecting with kids at each stage, from infancy to adolescence. This heartfelt, insightful advice comes not from an "expert," but from a learning, evolving parent.
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It saved my life
- By Samantha khalil on 05-22-17
By: Rebecca Eanes
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Love Is Never Enough
- How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve Relationship Problems Through Cognitive Therapy
- By: Aaron T. Beck MD
- Narrated by: Bob Dio
- Length: 12 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Love Is Never Enough explores the most common problems in marriage: the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication. These issues can be approached through cognitive therapy, in which thinking through and reasoning are used to counteract the poor communication that so often erodes relationships. With eloquence and accessibility, Aaron T. Beck, MD, shows how effective communication can restore and strengthen the ties and bonds between couples.
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Great book with help for sticky points
- By Ernest Maifrini on 10-22-16
By: Aaron T. Beck MD
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A Fearless Heart
- How the Courage to Be Compassionate Can Transform Our Lives
- By: Thupten Jinpa Ph.D.
- Narrated by: Sanjiv Jhaveri
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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The Buddhist practice of mindfulness caught on in the west when we began to understand the everyday, personal benefits it brought us. Now, in this extraordinary audiobook, the highly acclaimed thought leader and longtime English translator of His Holiness the Dalai Lama shows us that compassion can bring us even more.
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Better to read ... unfortunate grating narration
- By lesley ann on 04-12-17
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Could not make it through
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The Art of Logic in an Illogical World
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In a world where fake news stories change election outcomes, has rationality become futile? In The Art of Logic in an Illogical World, Eugenia Cheng throws a lifeline to listeners drowning in the illogic of contemporary life.
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Only the first couple chapters are about complexity
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The content is great and the book is well written. BUT…
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The Power of Strangers
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Not worth a credit
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Complex PTSD from a patient's point of view!
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What listeners say about Between Us
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 07-30-24
Important scientific perspective on emotions
Important scientific perspective on emotions supported with solid evidence and accompanied with good examples. The voice performance is not great, robot like.
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- M. Woot
- 10-15-23
LOVE IT!
I LOVE IT! I'd give 10 stars if I could. This is the best pop science book to date (in fact, it may be the only one?) exploring how our emotions are shaped by our socio-cultural contexts rather than being innate, universal constants (as the field of psychology would have us believe). I love that Mesquita discusses the concept of cultural fit and how particular cocktails of emotion can be optimal in one context but detrimental in another - I personally find this to be one of the most fascinating and difficult aspects of the human experience. Though research-based, this book verges on self-help for me and puts so much of my emotional life in perspective. I am so glad it exists!
Mesquita writes for a fairly general audience and simplifies some of these topics a bit, but she still manages to include quite a bit of nuance in a digestible format. She stays true to the body of research in this field and references it frequently (rather than offering her personal opinion as theory without reference, as many pop science writers do). I'd recommend this to basically all humans, and particularly humans that work with others' emotions (like therapists, social workers, and other caring professions).
For anyone interested in other quintessential popular reading for the topic of "psychological anthropology," I also recommend:
Crazy Like Us: The Globalization of the American Mind by Ethan Watters
Do Parents Matter?: Why Japanese Babies Sleep Soundly, Mexican Siblings Don't Fight, and American Families Should Just Relax by Robert and Sarah LeVine
Lastly, I read this on audiobook and the narration was very good. I often find non-fiction narrators to be too stiff, and while this was on the dryer side of things, I thought Mikhaila Aaseng struck a nice balance.
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- Amber Nelson
- 09-19-24
A great book describing the difference and importance of understanding emotions and how you interact with the world
I think this book does a great job highlighting a lot of studies surrounding how different cultures and people interpret emotions and their experiences, it goes in depth with different groups and explains her own bias amongst this study which I find honorable. Definitely a good book to take with you and think about how you understand yourself and how you judge others.
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- Camilla
- 12-01-22
Amazing!!!
Brilliant! I learned so much about how different people and cultures interpret emotions. I highly recommend this book!
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- wassup
- 09-20-22
Superfluous for those with common sense.
Talk about stating the bloody obvious. Be a little aware, be a little quiet, observe a little and you will learn ten times more than the 'lessons' in this book. Awfully written, and incredibly boring.
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