Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse
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Narrated by:
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Fleet Cooper
About this listen
By the age of sixteen, up to one in six boys has unwanted direct sexual contact with an older person. This is rarely talked about, and when it is, shame and embarrassment often stop us from speaking up openly and frankly. Now, this major new book by Dr. Richard Gartner, a pioneering therapist in the field, explores in depth the once-taboo subject of male sexual victimization.
Providing empowering action steps and written specifically for survivors of male sexual abuse as well as their spouses, partners, and loved ones, Beyond Betrayal is based on Richard Gartner's decades of experience as a psychologist, psychoanalyst, and advocate for sexually abused men. Covering both male and female abuse of boys and young men, Dr. Gartner explores the different types of abuse, from sexual abuse with and without touch to covert abuse to trauma, revealing the profound impact of sexual betrayal by such caretakers as clergy, family, teachers, babysitters, and health professionals. Gartner explains how as a child one trusts out of necessity—and how the betrayal of that trust ravages one's self-concept as a man while also wreaking havoc on one's relationships. .
In this powerful book, Dr. Gartner allows his patients to speak for themselves. The men's heartrending stories convey the full range of long-term devastations of boyhood sexual abuse: the despair, the secrecy, and the isolation; the worry about manhood and sexual orientation; and the difficulties of developing intimate relationships. In sharing their stories, these courageous men demonstrate what bravely deciding to face your inner demons can bring you: trust, resolution, and connection. .
In listening to this book, you'll discover how to safely experience emotions again and relate to others with confidence and security. Dr. Gartner also helps you shed the long-held conviction that you can either be a man or a victim but not both, and he teaches you how to determine who you really are and develop new, more flexible concepts of masculinity. Beyond Betrayal shows you that you can take charge of your recovery while living your life to its fullest potential. .
©2005 Richard B. Gartner (P)2012 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Men are right. The "relationship talk" does not help. Dr. Patricia Love’s and Dr. Steven Stosny’s How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is not about better communication. It's about connection.
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Must read if your on the verge of loosing it all!
- By Chris on 07-19-15
By: Patricia Love, and others
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Should I Stay or Should I Go?
- A Guide to Knowing If Your Relationship Can - and Should - Be Saved
- By: Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 13 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward, with or without their partners.
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Paradigm Shift
- By Sydnee Adams-Hancock on 04-08-16
By: Lundy Bancroft, and others
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Codependent No More
- How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself
- By: Melody Beattie
- Narrated by: Melody Beattie
- Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to a loved one’s self-destructive behavior, you may be codependent—and you may find yourself in this book. With personal reflections, exercises, and instructive stories drawn from Beattie’s own life and the lives of those she’s counseled, Codependent No More helps you break old patterns and maintain healthy boundaries, and offers a clear and achievable path to healing, hope, freedom, and happiness.
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great book with unbearable reader
- By Nielah on 09-01-22
By: Melody Beattie
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The Breakup Bible
- The Smart Woman's Guide to Healing from a Breakup or Divorce
- By: Rachel Sussman
- Narrated by: Susan Boyce
- Length: 12 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist and breakup expert Rachel A. Sussman, LCSW, reveals the secrets every woman needs to get her life back on track. Drawing on hundreds of counseling sessions she's conducted with women at all stages of recovery, Sussman developed a proven three-phase process for healing from a breakup.
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lifesaver!
- By Dawson on 11-30-17
By: Rachel Sussman
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The Verbally Abusive Man, Can He Change?
- A Woman's Guide to Deciding Whether to Stay or Go
- By: Patricia Evans
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Coupling stories of abused women and abusive men from her own case studies, Patricia Evans here gives you the tools you need to transform your relationship. Most important, she assures you that such a transformation is possible—given the right circumstances. Evans also helps you determine if your abuser really has changed—or if he’s merely creating the illusion of change. And if he hasn’t changed, Evans helps you decide whether it’s time to leave the relationship—and what to do when it is.
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A gift to the emotionally violated
- By curious23m on 08-16-15
By: Patricia Evans
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Trapped in the Mirror
- Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
- By: Elan Golomb
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil
- Length: 11 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
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Convoluted
- By Caligirl on 08-25-17
By: Elan Golomb
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I Don't Want to Talk About It
- Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression
- By: Terrence Real
- Narrated by: Adam Verner
- Length: 12 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Psychotherapist Terrence Real offers an important and compelling look at the silent epidemic of depression among men and shows, with compassion and clarity, what can be done to break this vicious cycle.
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Dated, Freudian take on subject with shock value
- By Matthew&Rebecca on 04-28-12
By: Terrence Real
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Stop Hurting the Woman You Love
- Breaking the Cycle of Abusive Behavior
- By: Charlie Donaldson MA, Randy Flood MA, Elaine Eldridge PhD
- Narrated by: Tom Parks
- Length: 6 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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End the cycle of abuse-for good. Authors Charlie Donaldson, Randy Flood, and Elaine Eldridge uncover a proven action plan that violent men can use to change their behavior. Filled with insightful questionnaires and actual case histories, the essential how-to book Stop Hurting the Woman You Love, will help end abusive patterns in favor of healthier, happier relationships....
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Saved us from a divorce!
- By Anonymous User on 11-15-21
By: Charlie Donaldson MA, and others
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Relationship Breakthrough
- How to Create Outstanding Relationships in Every Area of Your Life
- By: Cloe Madanes, Anthony Robbins
- Narrated by: Aimee Jolson
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone faces the challenges of making relationships work. Whether with spouses, family members, friends, lovers, or colleagues, relationships have the power to make one feel happy, frustrated, or miserable. In Relationship Breakthrough, Cloe Madanes - an expert in creating healing, empowering relationships - gives listeners vital tools to transform their relationships and their lives. Madanes's cutting-edge methods produce real results and create rewarding, sustainable relationships.
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Disappointed
- By Dee on 01-10-16
By: Cloe Madanes, and others
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Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away
- By: Gary Chapman
- Narrated by: Chris Fabry
- Length: 6 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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When you said, “I do”, you entered marriage with high hopes, dreaming it would be supremely happy. You never intended for it to be miserable. Millions of couples are struggling in desperate marriages. But the story doesn’t have to end there. Dr. Gary Chapman writes, “I believe that in every troubled marriage, one or both partners can take positive steps that have the potential for changing the emotional climate in their marriage.”
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encouragement through another chance
- By Brookley on 09-19-18
By: Gary Chapman
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Love Is a Choice
- The Definitive Book on Letting Go of Unhealthy Relationships
- By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minirth, Dr. Paul Meier
- Narrated by: Christopher Solimene
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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In Love Is a Choice, best-selling doctors Robert Hemfelt, Frank Minirth, and Paul Meier walk you through their 10 proven stages to recovery from codependency that results from external circumstances. Humans are susceptible to codependency because of our sinful tendency to use defense mechanisms to fool ourselves. In codependent relationships, deceitful games are played, and important Christian principles are often taken out of context and abused.
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Great book, horrible Performance
- By Jeff on 03-15-18
By: Dr. Robert Hemfelt, and others
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The Body Never Lies
- The Lingering Effects of Hurtful Parenting
- By: Alice Miller
- Narrated by: Sara Clinton
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Never before has world-renowned psychoanalyst Alice Miller examined so persuasively the long-range consequences of childhood abuse on the body. Using the experiences of her patients along with the biographical stories of literary giants such as Virginia Woolf, Franz Kafka, and Marcel Proust, Miller shows how a child's humiliation, impotence, and bottled rage will manifest itself as adult illness - be it cancer, stroke, or other debilitating diseases.
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Remarkably Enlightened
- By Amazon Customer on 08-24-16
By: Alice Miller
What listeners say about Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- T. M. Nichols
- 02-26-13
A Great Blessing
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes. Although there is little reference to religion in this book, I could not help but sense the hand of the Divine in it. It seems to perfectly and compassionately convey hard earned knowledge and wisdom, bringing desperately needed understanding on the affects of childhood sexual abuse. This book will greatly bless those who have been victims, as well as friends and family journeying with them. It is a must read.
What other book might you compare Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse to and why?
"The Narcissistic Family" is also a very well written and informative book, though it is written for therapists.
What about Fleet Cooper’s performance did you like?
A gifted narrator, Fleet Cooper allows the listener to entirely take in what is being communicated.
What did you learn from Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse that you would use in your daily life?
I gained an understanding of the common and negative affects of the abuse throughout the victim's life. This understanding allows for the beginning of the breaking of the bonds that have come as a result of the abuse.
Any additional comments?
I appreciate the gentle approach the author takes--one that is absent of blame.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Horace Henley
- 11-22-20
Good book
I am now 58 years old. this book is the story of my life so for. I have found a solution to many of these problems is the Lord Jesus Christ is my personal savior getting saved prophesying over myself that you are going to be safe today. breathing practicing breathing techniques
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- JiMMY69ChubbyBoiChaser
- 04-26-20
Very informative
I'm still listening to this book; but, I was excited to write a review of this book, because I've been learning so much about myself, and I thought that I was the only person in this world with the feelings that I feel - But, now I know there are others, thanks to this book. I am happy now; feeling less depressed, because of what has been revealed to me. Thank you 😁
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- Justin Guidry
- 04-08-21
Im a Male survivor and this book was life changing
Im a survivor of 5 years of childhood sexual abuse by family friend who lived next door. This book was amazing and really taught me a lot about myself as a Male survivor.
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- Hazo
- 12-30-18
Saved my life
being survivor of being molested and raped by a priest from ages 9 to 11 and also the domestic violence that occurred in my household as a child I found this book a tremendous tremendous asset. make sure you at least get to the last chapter that helps you fight and improve your life and how to get over the trauma. stay positive people you can do it!
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- joedt3
- 11-20-17
A Book for Male Victims - FINALLY!
This is the first book I've listened to that was written from the perspective of a male sexual abuse victim. I'm so glad I found it. It was very well done and I would recommend it to any male survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Julie Slyter
- 08-05-15
Overall a good overview- more info needed on how partners and family are effected when an abused person cannot relate.
Overall a good explanation of how this happens and the effects. But too much time spent explaining how each person was abused.
Would have liked more info on ways they can recover, how this effects how they relate. And especially more info on how a partner and the family can be effected, and what they can do to help and how to help the abused person see what damage they are doing.
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- Big Rob
- 05-27-20
loved it
opened my mind to alot to what I didn't know why i was feeling and convinced me to get help
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- @BucKaV3Li
- 06-19-24
Raped and put into sex slavery
even though you are considered mentally handicapped in every major sacred text from every major religion he believes you are only conscious if you can prove you have a job. Being mentally handicapped according to every major consciousness raising figure in history is the same thing as being conscious in this book. Raped sex slavery for this man's preferred Prostitution based religion is where I'm headed now great.
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