
Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $24.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Fleet Cooper
About this listen
By the age of sixteen, up to one in six boys has unwanted direct sexual contact with an older person. This is rarely talked about, and when it is, shame and embarrassment often stop us from speaking up openly and frankly. Now, this major new book by Dr. Richard Gartner, a pioneering therapist in the field, explores in depth the once-taboo subject of male sexual victimization.
Providing empowering action steps and written specifically for survivors of male sexual abuse as well as their spouses, partners, and loved ones, Beyond Betrayal is based on Richard Gartner's decades of experience as a psychologist, psychoanalyst, and advocate for sexually abused men. Covering both male and female abuse of boys and young men, Dr. Gartner explores the different types of abuse, from sexual abuse with and without touch to covert abuse to trauma, revealing the profound impact of sexual betrayal by such caretakers as clergy, family, teachers, babysitters, and health professionals. Gartner explains how as a child one trusts out of necessity—and how the betrayal of that trust ravages one's self-concept as a man while also wreaking havoc on one's relationships. .
In this powerful book, Dr. Gartner allows his patients to speak for themselves. The men's heartrending stories convey the full range of long-term devastations of boyhood sexual abuse: the despair, the secrecy, and the isolation; the worry about manhood and sexual orientation; and the difficulties of developing intimate relationships. In sharing their stories, these courageous men demonstrate what bravely deciding to face your inner demons can bring you: trust, resolution, and connection. .
In listening to this book, you'll discover how to safely experience emotions again and relate to others with confidence and security. Dr. Gartner also helps you shed the long-held conviction that you can either be a man or a victim but not both, and he teaches you how to determine who you really are and develop new, more flexible concepts of masculinity. Beyond Betrayal shows you that you can take charge of your recovery while living your life to its fullest potential. .
©2005 Richard B. Gartner (P)2012 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
-
The Body Keeps the Score
- Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
- By: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 16 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
-
-
Overall Worthwhile, Lingers Too Long in the Why
- By LittleBeadsOfMercury on 04-07-21
-
Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse
- By: Dr. Kelli Palfy
- Narrated by: Dr. Kelli Palfy
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Male sexual abuse occurs far more commonly than previously suspected, yet too few victims ever seek support. Countless remain silent. They cope through avoidance, isolation, substance abuse, hyper-masculinity, etc. Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse is for male survivors and their supporters. It is an educational, heart-wrenching look at 13 male sexual abuse victims experience, written from the perspective of a retired police officer and registered psychologist. Men Too highlights the complex and unique barriers boys and men face during and after abuse.
-
-
a toxic feminist perspective on male problems
- By Maxwell J Oss on 02-02-23
By: Dr. Kelli Palfy
-
Secret Shame
- A Survivor's Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse and Male Sexual Development
- By: Douglas W. Carpenter PsyD
- Narrated by: ChasMandala
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sexual abuse is the secret shame that lies deep within. Men hold on to this secret shame for an average of 25 years before they disclose the hurt and pain they have endured and carried from sexual abuse perpetrated by another male. As men disclose their abuse, it is important to examine how the abuse changed their thinking and behavior. A good majority of men were abused before puberty. The research shows that men, on average, are abused around the age of eight or nine, while in the latency stage of development.
-
-
Helpful, but I need to read more
- By Stevii Sias on 01-19-25
-
Healing Your Lost Inner Child
- How to Stop Impulsive Reactions, Set Healthy Boundaries and Embrace an Authentic Life
- By: Robert Jackman
- Narrated by: Randy Scott
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Most people don't realize how much unresolved emotional pain they carry around. They don't know why they always feel depressed, anxious, victimized, or disappointed. They wonder why they keep making the same self-sabotaging impulsive decisions. These patterns often stem from their lost inner child, which carries a false narrative that has been on repeat since childhood.
-
-
Excellent book for healing your inner child
- By Stefan Pagacik on 11-09-21
By: Robert Jackman
-
Freedom at Last
- Healing the Shame of Childhood Sexual Abuse
- By: Beverly Engel
- Narrated by: Senn Annis
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Childhood sexual abuse (or child sexual abuse/CSA) is not only an assault on the body—it is an assault on the mind and on the spirit. It is an insult to the victim’s integrity, her self-esteem, his very being. Besides imposing a significantly higher risk of conditions like depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), sexual exploitation, intimate partner violence, suicidality, substance abuse, and learning & educational difficulties, the most devastating consequence of childhood sexual abuse is shame.
-
-
Life changing!!!!!
- By Anonymous User on 01-05-25
By: Beverly Engel
-
The Courage to Heal
- A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
- By: Ellen Bass, Laura Davis
- Narrated by: Ellen Bass, Laura Davis
- Length: 25 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Courage to Heal is an inspiring, comprehensive guide that offers hope and a map of the healing journey to every woman who was sexually abused as a child - and to those who care about her. Although the effects of child sexual abuse are long-term and severe, healing is possible.
-
-
Detailed and inspiring
- By Millican on 03-06-17
By: Ellen Bass, and others
-
The Body Keeps the Score
- Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
- By: Bessel van der Kolk M.D.
- Narrated by: Sean Pratt
- Length: 16 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Trauma is a fact of life. Veterans and their families deal with the painful aftermath of combat; one in five Americans has been molested; one in four grew up with alcoholics; one in three couples have engaged in physical violence. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, one of the world’s foremost experts on trauma, has spent more than three decades working with survivors. In The Body Keeps the Score, he uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust.
-
-
Overall Worthwhile, Lingers Too Long in the Why
- By LittleBeadsOfMercury on 04-07-21
-
Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse
- By: Dr. Kelli Palfy
- Narrated by: Dr. Kelli Palfy
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Male sexual abuse occurs far more commonly than previously suspected, yet too few victims ever seek support. Countless remain silent. They cope through avoidance, isolation, substance abuse, hyper-masculinity, etc. Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse is for male survivors and their supporters. It is an educational, heart-wrenching look at 13 male sexual abuse victims experience, written from the perspective of a retired police officer and registered psychologist. Men Too highlights the complex and unique barriers boys and men face during and after abuse.
-
-
a toxic feminist perspective on male problems
- By Maxwell J Oss on 02-02-23
By: Dr. Kelli Palfy
-
Secret Shame
- A Survivor's Guide to Understanding Male Sexual Abuse and Male Sexual Development
- By: Douglas W. Carpenter PsyD
- Narrated by: ChasMandala
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sexual abuse is the secret shame that lies deep within. Men hold on to this secret shame for an average of 25 years before they disclose the hurt and pain they have endured and carried from sexual abuse perpetrated by another male. As men disclose their abuse, it is important to examine how the abuse changed their thinking and behavior. A good majority of men were abused before puberty. The research shows that men, on average, are abused around the age of eight or nine, while in the latency stage of development.
-
-
Helpful, but I need to read more
- By Stevii Sias on 01-19-25
-
Healing Your Lost Inner Child
- How to Stop Impulsive Reactions, Set Healthy Boundaries and Embrace an Authentic Life
- By: Robert Jackman
- Narrated by: Randy Scott
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Most people don't realize how much unresolved emotional pain they carry around. They don't know why they always feel depressed, anxious, victimized, or disappointed. They wonder why they keep making the same self-sabotaging impulsive decisions. These patterns often stem from their lost inner child, which carries a false narrative that has been on repeat since childhood.
-
-
Excellent book for healing your inner child
- By Stefan Pagacik on 11-09-21
By: Robert Jackman
-
Freedom at Last
- Healing the Shame of Childhood Sexual Abuse
- By: Beverly Engel
- Narrated by: Senn Annis
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Childhood sexual abuse (or child sexual abuse/CSA) is not only an assault on the body—it is an assault on the mind and on the spirit. It is an insult to the victim’s integrity, her self-esteem, his very being. Besides imposing a significantly higher risk of conditions like depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), sexual exploitation, intimate partner violence, suicidality, substance abuse, and learning & educational difficulties, the most devastating consequence of childhood sexual abuse is shame.
-
-
Life changing!!!!!
- By Anonymous User on 01-05-25
By: Beverly Engel
-
The Courage to Heal
- A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
- By: Ellen Bass, Laura Davis
- Narrated by: Ellen Bass, Laura Davis
- Length: 25 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Courage to Heal is an inspiring, comprehensive guide that offers hope and a map of the healing journey to every woman who was sexually abused as a child - and to those who care about her. Although the effects of child sexual abuse are long-term and severe, healing is possible.
-
-
Detailed and inspiring
- By Millican on 03-06-17
By: Ellen Bass, and others
-
Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male
- Gender Role Conflict, Toxic Shame, and Complex Trauma: Finding Hope, Clarity, Healing, and Change
- By: Douglas W. Carpenter
- Narrated by: ChasMandala
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The social perception of masculinity is very black and white: one is either an alpha male or a beta male, and there can be no variation. However, this is not the reality of masculinity in today's society. Non-alpha males exist somewhere in the middle of the masculinity spectrum and are far more common than most people realize.
-
-
Alternative perspective, helpful.
- By J. Barlow on 07-25-23
-
What Happened to You?
- Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing
- By: Oprah Winfrey, Bruce D. Perry
- Narrated by: Bruce D. Perry, Oprah Winfrey
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question. Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
-
-
I waited more than 30 years for this book.
- By Gary S. on 04-28-21
By: Oprah Winfrey, and others
-
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Revised and Updated
- By: John M. Gottman PhD, Nan Silver
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
-
-
not a good audiobook
- By jynlyn on 09-02-20
By: John M. Gottman PhD, and others
-
Allies in Healing
- When the Person You Love Is a Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse
- By: Laura Davis
- Narrated by: Xe Sands, Sean Pratt
- Length: 8 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners - girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers - trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity.
-
-
A horrible resource for partners
- By Leonie on 02-28-17
By: Laura Davis
-
The Gift of Therapy
- An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients
- By: Irvin D. Yalom
- Narrated by: Don Hagen
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The culmination of master psychiatrist Dr. Irvin D. Yalom's more than 35 years in clinical practice, The Gift of Therapy is a remarkable and essential guidebook that illustrates through real case studies how patients and therapists alike can get the most out of therapy. The best-selling author of Love's Executioner shares his uniquely fresh approach and the valuable insights he has gained - presented as 85 personal and provocative "tips for beginner therapists".
-
-
Truly a gift from a master therapist
- By Garden Goddess on 10-15-16
By: Irvin D. Yalom
-
Silently Seduced, Revised & Updated
- When Parents Make Their Children Partners
- By: Kenneth Adams
- Narrated by: Craig Jessen
- Length: 4 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When a parent singles out a child for special privileges and attention, that child is often unaware that the relationship is unhealthy - even incestuous. As adults, these children struggle to feel validated, because while they have not been directly abused, they feel a sense of violation and crossed boundaries - usually done in the name of 'love' and 'caring'. The parent's love feels more confining than freeing, more demanding than giving, more intrusive than nurturing. Yet these children suffer from what psychologist Kenneth Adams calls The Silent Seduction.
-
-
Now I have words for what happened to me as a kid
- By Jessica on 08-29-20
By: Kenneth Adams
-
My Daddy the Pedophile
- A Memoir
- By: Lily Palazzi
- Narrated by: Patricia Santomasso
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After years of suffering multiple forms of abuse, a vulnerable young girl flees her home only to land straight into the arms of her biological father - a sexual predator. My Daddy the Pedophile tells the harrowing true story of a teenage girl’s affair with her manipulative sociopathic father. After a terrible dark secret comes to light, the real story unfolds and her courageous journey of healing begins.
-
-
Tragic and healing
- By Terri on 10-22-21
By: Lily Palazzi
-
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
- How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
- By: Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you'll learn how to create positive new relationships so you can build a better life.
-
-
Astonishing information.
- By K J Sunflower on 07-20-16
-
Lost Boy Found
- One Man’s Account of Surviving Sexual Abuse in His Childhood and How He Turned His Life Around.
- By: Dr. Peter Gregg
- Narrated by: Dr. Peter Gregg
- Length: 9 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
This audiobook will change your fundamental understanding about the reality of boy rape and its lifelong impact on the abused. Dr. Gregg takes the listeners into his world as a nine-year-old boy: mistreated at home, bullied at school, and then brutally raped. It is insightfully interpreted from Dr. Gregg’s vantage point as a now highly respected behavioral scientist.
-
-
Very interesting story
- By Greg bowden on 02-20-25
By: Dr. Peter Gregg
-
Healing the Shame That Binds You
- By: John Bradshaw
- Narrated by: John Pruden
- Length: 11 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Healing the Shame That Binds You is the most enduring work of family relationship expert and New York Times best-selling author John Bradshaw. In it, he shows how unhealthy toxic shame, often learned young and maintained into adulthood, is the core component in our compulsions, co-dependencies, addictions and drive to superachieve.
-
-
Wonderful information
- By Mary on 12-18-11
By: John Bradshaw
-
His Needs, Her Needs
- Building a Marriage That Lasts
- By: Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr.
- Narrated by: Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr.
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Time after time, His Needs, Her Needs has topped the charts as the best-selling marriage book available. In this classic book, Dr. Willard F. Harley, Jr., identifies the 10 most vital needs of men and women and shows husbands and wives how to make their marriage sizzle by satisfying those needs in their spouses. He provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse and for loving more creatively and sensitively, thereby eliminating the problems that often lead to conflict and even extramarital affairs.
-
-
Easy read! Every couple should read this book!
- By Derek Benson on 10-01-20
-
Believing Me
- Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex Trauma
- By: Ingrid Clayton
- Narrated by: Ingrid Clayton PhD
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What if emotional abuse is so hidden that its effects remain unchallenged for decades, masquerading as personal failings? Believing Me is an emotionally gripping memoir that gives language to the hidden and ineffable nature of childhood trauma and how it can imprint on a person, resulting in fractured self-esteem, addictions, perfectionism, and a string of abusive relationships.
-
-
Someone else caused all my problems
- By Searcy Custom Homes on 12-03-23
By: Ingrid Clayton
Critic reviews
What listeners say about Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- T. M. Nichols
- 02-26-13
A Great Blessing
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes. Although there is little reference to religion in this book, I could not help but sense the hand of the Divine in it. It seems to perfectly and compassionately convey hard earned knowledge and wisdom, bringing desperately needed understanding on the affects of childhood sexual abuse. This book will greatly bless those who have been victims, as well as friends and family journeying with them. It is a must read.
What other book might you compare Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse to and why?
"The Narcissistic Family" is also a very well written and informative book, though it is written for therapists.
What about Fleet Cooper’s performance did you like?
A gifted narrator, Fleet Cooper allows the listener to entirely take in what is being communicated.
What did you learn from Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life after Boyhood Sexual Abuse that you would use in your daily life?
I gained an understanding of the common and negative affects of the abuse throughout the victim's life. This understanding allows for the beginning of the breaking of the bonds that have come as a result of the abuse.
Any additional comments?
I appreciate the gentle approach the author takes--one that is absent of blame.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
3 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Horace Henley
- 11-22-20
Good book
I am now 58 years old. this book is the story of my life so for. I have found a solution to many of these problems is the Lord Jesus Christ is my personal savior getting saved prophesying over myself that you are going to be safe today. breathing practicing breathing techniques
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- JiMMY69ChubbyBoiChaser
- 04-26-20
Very informative
I'm still listening to this book; but, I was excited to write a review of this book, because I've been learning so much about myself, and I thought that I was the only person in this world with the feelings that I feel - But, now I know there are others, thanks to this book. I am happy now; feeling less depressed, because of what has been revealed to me. Thank you 😁
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Justin Guidry
- 04-08-21
Im a Male survivor and this book was life changing
Im a survivor of 5 years of childhood sexual abuse by family friend who lived next door. This book was amazing and really taught me a lot about myself as a Male survivor.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Hazo
- 12-30-18
Saved my life
being survivor of being molested and raped by a priest from ages 9 to 11 and also the domestic violence that occurred in my household as a child I found this book a tremendous tremendous asset. make sure you at least get to the last chapter that helps you fight and improve your life and how to get over the trauma. stay positive people you can do it!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- joedt3
- 11-20-17
A Book for Male Victims - FINALLY!
This is the first book I've listened to that was written from the perspective of a male sexual abuse victim. I'm so glad I found it. It was very well done and I would recommend it to any male survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Julie Slyter
- 08-05-15
Overall a good overview- more info needed on how partners and family are effected when an abused person cannot relate.
Overall a good explanation of how this happens and the effects. But too much time spent explaining how each person was abused.
Would have liked more info on ways they can recover, how this effects how they relate. And especially more info on how a partner and the family can be effected, and what they can do to help and how to help the abused person see what damage they are doing.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Big Rob
- 05-27-20
loved it
opened my mind to alot to what I didn't know why i was feeling and convinced me to get help
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- @BucKaV3Li
- 06-19-24
Raped and put into sex slavery
even though you are considered mentally handicapped in every major sacred text from every major religion he believes you are only conscious if you can prove you have a job. Being mentally handicapped according to every major consciousness raising figure in history is the same thing as being conscious in this book. Raped sex slavery for this man's preferred Prostitution based religion is where I'm headed now great.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!