
Smacked
A Story of White-Collar Ambition, Addiction, and Tragedy
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Narrated by:
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Eilene Zimmerman
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By:
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Eilene Zimmerman
About this listen
A journalist pieces together the mysteries surrounding her ex-husband’s descent into drug addiction while trying to rebuild a life for her family, taking listeners on an intimate journey into the world of white-collar drug abuse.
"A rare combination of journalistic rigor, personal courage, and writerly grace." (Bill Clegg, author of Portrait of an Addict as a Young Man)
Something was wrong with Peter. Eilene Zimmerman noticed that her ex-husband looked thin, seemed distracted, and was frequently absent from activities with their children. She thought he looked sick and needed to see a doctor, and indeed, he told her he had been diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. Yet in many ways, Peter seemed to have it all: a beautiful house by the beach, expensive cars, and other luxuries that came with an affluent life. Eilene assumed his odd behavior was due to stress and overwork - he was a senior partner at a prominent law firm and had been working more than 60 hours a week for the last 20 years.
Although they were divorced, Eilene and Peter had been partners and friends for decades, so when she and her children were unable to reach Peter for several days, Eilene went to his house to see if he was okay.
So begins Smacked, a brilliant and moving memoir of Eilene’s shocking discovery, one that sets her on a journey to find out how a man she knew for nearly 30 years became a drug addict, hiding it so well that neither she nor anyone else in his life suspected what was happening. Eilene discovers that Peter led a secret life, one that started with pills and ended with opioids, cocaine, and methamphetamine. He was also addicted to work; the last call Peter ever made was to dial in to a conference call.
Eilene is determined to learn all she can about Peter’s hidden life, and also about drug addiction among ambitious, high-achieving professionals like him. Through extensive research and interviews, she presents a picture of drug dependence today in that moneyed, upwardly mobile world. She also embarks on a journey to re-create her life in the wake of loss, both of the person - and the relationship - that profoundly defined the woman she had become.
©2020 Eilene Zimmerman (P)2020 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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This is a true story. A transparent story of the life of a young man in America, who, like many of our lost youth, found his way into the drug culture. This story is an autopsy into the mind, heart, and soul of an addict. It begins at childhood and takes us through the thoughts, turmoil, and inner conflicts of a person lost in the undercurrent of addiction, and ends in a climax of self-discovery and realization. It is a gripping tale of a suburban youth and his journey through the streets of Baltimore, institutions, prisons, addiction, and worst of all, his own mind.
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Shook One
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Being “shook” is more than a rap lyric for Charlamagne; it’s his mission to overcome. While it may seem like he is ahead of the game and should have nothing to worry about, he is still plagued by anxieties - fear of being weak; fear of being a bad dad; fear of being a worse husband; and, ultimately, fear of failure. Shook One chronicles his journey to beat back those fears and empowers you to no longer be held back from your potential.
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Overall
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In the summer after graduating from college, Suleika Jaouad was preparing, as they say in commencement speeches, to enter “the real world”. She had fallen in love and moved to Paris to pursue her dream of becoming a war correspondent. The real world she found, however, would take her into a very different kind of conflict zone. It started with an itch - first on her feet, then up her legs, like a thousand invisible mosquito bites. Then a trip to the doctor and, a few weeks shy of her 23rd birthday, a diagnosis: leukemia, with a 35 percent chance of survival.
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This was painful.
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Critic reviews
“Poignant.... An engrossing narrative laden with elements of pathos and mystery.” (The Boston Globe)
“Journalist Eilene Zimmerman’s up-close-and-personal look at the cost of addiction is among the timeliest and most relevant books of the new year. Smacked is an unvarnished and wrenching exploration of opioid abuse in a wealthy, white-collar world that resonates across classes and cultures.” (Newsweek)
"A searing and extraordinary memoir, Smacked peers into the life of the white collar addict, showing us how the enslavement to not just drugs, but wealth and success, in this country can ruin marriages and families. Zimmerman achieves not just gorgeous prose and a suspenseful and engrossing story, but also more compassion and insight than I have encountered for this subject. Smacked is unputdownable and addictive, in the best way possible." (Claire Bidwell Smith, author of The Rules of Inheritance)
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By: Mindy McGinnis
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The Less People Know About Us
- A Mystery of Betrayal, Family Secrets, and Stolen Identity
- By: Axton Betz-Hamilton
- Narrated by: Laurie Winkel
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In this powerful true crime memoir, an award-winning identity theft expert tells the shocking story of the duplicity and betrayal that inspired her career and nearly destroyed her family. Axton Betz-Hamilton grew up in small-town Indiana in the early '90s. When she was 11 years old, her parents both had their identities stolen. Their credit ratings were ruined, and they were constantly fighting over money. This was before the age of the Internet, when identity theft became more commonplace, so authorities and banks were clueless and reluctant to help Axton's parents.
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Holy Shit
- By Jason Wiking on 02-19-20
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Call Me Cockroach
- Based on a True Story
- By: Leigh Byrne
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 8 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Our prisons and mental hospitals are filled with tragic stories like Tuesday Storm's. Her early childhood was riddled with torturous "games" and violent physical attacks. She was isolated from the rest of her family, locked in an attic with nothing but a bare bed and a bucket for a toilet, and fed just enough to be kept alive. The experts say it's next to impossible to find the soul's light in a dark past like Tuesday's.
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The rest of the story...
- By PJH on 07-11-15
By: Leigh Byrne
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My Fair Junkie
- A Memoir of Getting Dirty and Staying Clean
- By: Amy Dresner
- Narrated by: Amy Dresner
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of Orange Is the New Black and Jerry Stahl's Permanent Midnight, Amy Dresner's My Fair Junkie is an insightful, darkly funny, and shamelessly honest memoir of one woman's battle with all forms of addiction, hitting rock bottom, and forging a path to a life worth living.
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if you don't read this I'll brandish a bread knife
- By Jackie Lange on 03-02-18
By: Amy Dresner
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Woman of Substances
- The savage seduction of drugs and alcohol, and the art of walking away
- By: Jenny Valentish
- Narrated by: Imogen Wilde
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Journalist Jenny Valentish investigates the female experience of drugs and alcohol, using her own story to light the way. Mining the expertise of leading researchers, she explores the early predictors of addiction, such as childhood trauma and temperament, and teenage impulsivity. Drawing on neuroscience, she explains why other self-destructive behaviours - such as eating disorders and high-risk sex - are interchangeable with substance use.
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What women have needed on their recovery journey!
- By Tiffany Dee on 02-23-25
By: Jenny Valentish
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American Drug Addict
- a memoir
- By: Brett Douglas
- Narrated by: Ryan Turner
- Length: 9 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Brett. I'm a college-educated man who was once a husband of 26 years with two children, three businesses, and a large home with an actual white picket fence. I'm also a drug addict. And I have a tale to tell. It's about the despair of addiction and the absolute certainty that it can be overcome. Recovery is not simply abstinence, but a process of growing up. I spent my entire life searching for the key to long-term sobriety. I would like to share with you what I have learned.
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UGHHHH. NOOOO.
- By karen McCann on 09-29-18
By: Brett Douglas
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Permanent Midnight
- A Memoir (20th Anniversary Edition)
- By: Jerry Stahl, Nic Sheff - foreword
- Narrated by: Jerry Stahl, Scott Merriman
- Length: 11 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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Point deduction for the recording
- By Amazon Customer on 11-21-20
By: Jerry Stahl, and others
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Chasing a Flawed Sun
- By: Daniel McGhee
- Narrated by: Frank Gerard
- Length: 14 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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This is a true story. A transparent story of the life of a young man in America, who, like many of our lost youth, found his way into the drug culture. This story is an autopsy into the mind, heart, and soul of an addict. It begins at childhood and takes us through the thoughts, turmoil, and inner conflicts of a person lost in the undercurrent of addiction, and ends in a climax of self-discovery and realization. It is a gripping tale of a suburban youth and his journey through the streets of Baltimore, institutions, prisons, addiction, and worst of all, his own mind.
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don't bother
- By Lindsay on 04-24-21
By: Daniel McGhee
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I Am a Heroin Addict
- By: Ritchie Farrell
- Narrated by: Steven Jay Cohen
- Length: 10 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Heroin is a Beast, and that Beast has infiltrated every town and city in America. The Beast has come for your sons and daughters. The Beast is hunting for your fathers and mothers. And that Beast has only one mission, to bury as many Americans as possible. I Am a Heroin Addict is the story of how Ritchie Farrell survived a ten-bag-a-day heroin habit to become a best-selling author, WGA screenwriter, and recipient of the prestigious du-Pont-Columbia Award for excellence in journalism.
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Well done!
- By dmcstudent on 10-30-18
By: Ritchie Farrell
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Stash
- My Life in Hiding
- By: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Narrated by: Laura Cathcart Robbins
- Length: 9 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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After years of hiding her addiction from everyone—stockpiling pills in her Louboutins and elaborately scheduling her withdrawals between PTA meetings, baby showers, and tennis matches—Laura Cathcart Robbins is running out of places to hide. She has learned the hard way that even her high-profile marriage and Hollywood lifestyle can’t protect her from the pain she’s keeping bottled up inside. Facing divorce, the possibility of a custody battle, and the insistent voice of internalized racism that nags at her as a Black woman in a white world, Laura wonders just how much more she can take.
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Best Mom/wife alcoholism memoir I’ve read
- By Allison M. Billet on 04-06-23
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Blackout Girl (With New and Updated Content for the #MeToo Era)
- Tracing My Scars from Addiction and Sexual Assault
- By: Jennifer Storm
- Narrated by: Jennifer Storm
- Length: 6 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Sexual assault, addiction, and other traumatic experiences can leave both physical and emotional scars. For Jennifer Storm, these scars serve as a reminder - both of the darkness and suffering she once experienced, and of how far she has come. Blackout Girl is the heartbreaking, enlightening, and inspiring story of Jennifer's narrow escape from her own self-destructive instincts when all of the odds, and systems, were stacked against her.
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Amazing for those in recovery and have SA trauma
- By Taylor on 03-29-25
By: Jennifer Storm
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Suburban Junky
- From Honor Roll to Heroin Addict (Tenth Anniversary)
- By: Jude Hassan
- Narrated by: Virtual Voice
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Jude Hassan was an ordinary, all-American kid. He had two amazing parents who gave him everything, especially a loving home. At fourteen, Jude's family moved from their home in the city to a beautiful suburban town on the outskirts of St. Louis. Suddenly, Jude was faced with being the new kid for the first time in his young life. He struggled to find his way in his new surroundings but continued to make straight A’s and excel in sports. When a fellow student approached him about attending a party, he was apprehensive but eager to experience his first social gathering. Unfortunately, that ...
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Wonderful story of healing and family values.
- By Taryn on 07-25-24
By: Jude Hassan
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While You Were Out
- An Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence
- By: Meg Kissinger
- Narrated by: Meg Kissinger
- Length: 11 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in the 1960s in the suburbs of Chicago, Meg Kissinger’s family seemed to live a charmed life. With eight kids and two loving parents, the Kissingers radiated a warm, boisterous energy. Whether they were spending summer days on the shores of Lake Michigan, barreling down the ski slopes, or navigating the trials of their Catholic school, the Kissingers always knew how to live large and play hard. But behind closed doors, a harsher reality was unfolding.
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Thoughtful and mindful
- By James Thomas McIntyre on 09-11-23
By: Meg Kissinger
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Damaged Goods
- A Memoir
- By: Shelley Louise
- Narrated by: Jeanne Scurek
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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This is a deeply personal story of a young woman’s journey through addiction; the loss of her child’s father through an overdose, her mother’s suicide, and the tragic consequences that those lifestyle choices bring. At 15, Shelley was submerged into the seedy world of the red-light district of Honolulu. As the warm-up act for the strippers, she became a topless dancer only to discover she was not emotionally prepared for the lewd attention. Pills and heroin helped her to cope with a lifestyle that was beyond her years.
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The narration was tough to listen to. The story was interesting but I had to stop listening mid way through.
- By Amazon Customer on 03-28-25
By: Shelley Louise
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Memoirs Aren't Fairytales
- A Story of Addiction
- By: Marni Mann
- Narrated by: Arden Hammersmith
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Leaving behind a nightmarish college experience, 19-year-old Nicole and her best friend Eric escape their home of Bangor, Maine to start a new life in Boston. Fragile and scared, Nicole desperately seeks a new beginning to help erase her past. But there is something besides freedom waiting for her in the shadows - a drug that will make every day a nightmare.
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Misleading and moralizing
- By Mary on 01-03-19
By: Marni Mann
What listeners say about Smacked
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- Jared
- 02-07-20
Touching
worth the listen if you'd trying to understand why the least expected would turn to illegal use of drugs
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3 people found this helpful
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- Robin Cunningham
- 12-28-20
Great book.
loved this book. very honest. full of emotion and lots of helpful information. I couldn't stop listening
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- Shay A Barfield
- 06-04-20
review
A heartbreaking and intimate look into a woman's life over the years as her husband, later ex-husband, succumbs to substance abuse.
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- Brittany Rode
- 05-23-20
Eye opening!
This was such a fascinating story excellently seeded with background information. By the end of it i had several more books and people to look up for further information. Not dry at all with all that information I got through this in two days!
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- Lynda Richards
- 03-02-20
Smacked
Ellene is a very good author. Loved this story & it was so different, not your usual.
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- Tyler Kavicky
- 06-18-20
Compassionate portrayal of addiction in a family
Eilene provides a very honest and thoughtful portrayal of the insidious nature of addiction and what it is like to watch a loved one succumb to this disease. She addresses some of the stereotypes about addiction, like the one that addiction is more common among poor and uneducated people. She also provides some scientific and academic research to support her arguments, nothing too complicated though. If you want to know more about addiction or you know someone that might be suffering, this book can provide some insight without being too preachy or judgmental, while still being entertaining and maintaining a sense compassionate. Good read (or listen).
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- Annieming
- 07-26-21
Loved this book from beginning to end
I appreciated the author’s honesty & style of writing. It was quite relatable. Her narration style is wonderful - so easy to listen to. Her descriptions of emotional situations tugged at my heart as I could totally feel what she described. I didn’t want this book to end so quickly. Looking for another from her as we speak!
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- Bernie X
- 02-11-20
Interesting yet perhaps misleading conclusion
Expresses the causation of highly skilled careers and drug addiction; however and early into the book, there is a least one passage of Peter's recreational use of hard drugs while a grad school student. Could he have been a user most of his adult life and practicing law just exacerbated things?
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1 person found this helpful
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- Rosa E. Rivera
- 02-18-20
Excellent Read
Eilene has a great way of weaving together all the layers around and within addiction.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-13-21
Loved it! Recommend
I very much enjoyed this book! Eilene’s voice is wonderful! If you have loved ones in your life that struggle with addiction, this story resonates. Recommend 10/10
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