Tweakerworld
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Jason Yamas
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By:
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Jason Yamas
About this listen
Meet Jason: a college educated documentary film producer, cat parent of two, and one of San Francisco’s top drug dealers.
After Jason’s world falls apart in LA, he moves to Berkeley for a fresh start with his kid brother. Just one problem: his long-closeted Adderall addiction has exploded into an out-of-control crystal meth binge. Within weeks, Jason plunges into the sprawling ParTy n’ ’Play subculture of the Bay Area’s gay community. It is a wildly decadent scene of drugs, group sex, and criminals, and yet it is also filled with surprising characters, people who are continually subverting Jason’s own presumptions of the stereotypical tweaker.
Soon Jason becomes a dealer on the pretense of researching this tweaker world for a project that will carry him, like a life raft, back to the shores of a normal life. But his friendly entrepreneurial spirit and trusting disposition disarm clients and rival dealers alike. The money begins to roll in as demand increases to frightening levels. Suddenly, Jason is in control of the entire crystal meth market for San Francisco’s gay community, even as he finds himself nodding off behind the wheel of his car, or walking down the sidewalk. As friends and family work frantically to steer him towards recovery, Jason resists, chasing something else: a sleepless nirvana fueled by sex, drugs, and the Tweakerworld.
With painful honesty, Jason Yamas has crafted a landmark narrative that is not just a personal account of addiction, but a portrait of a vulnerable, largely undocumented community of people who, for many reasons, have been marginalized to the point of invisibility.
©2023 Jason Yamas. (P)2023 Brilliance Publishing, Inc., all rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“A vibrant, compelling memoir about gay culture and addiction. Brutally honest and thrillingly told, Tweakerworld shines a light on the dark places shame can lead us and demands we do not turn away. It is only through looking at them that we find a way out.”—JACK PARLETT, Author of Fire Island and The Poetics of Cruising
“Jason is an incredibly talented author who is able to do the masterful: take a story so lived in in its specificities and somehow engineer it so that it feels universal. His is a story both painfully unique, yet one that is dripping with humanity.”—EVAN ROSS KATZ, Writer
“Reading Jason Yamas’s memoir of crystal meth addiction—and, yes, of hope, can itself be a redemptive act. but it is also in some odd even troubling way a pleasure, which one realizes is what it feels like to be addicted.”—KEVIN SESSUMS, Bestselling author of Mississippi Sissy and I Left It On The Mountain
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Out of Orange
- A Memoir
- By: Cleary Wolters
- Narrated by: Barbara Rosenblat
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The real-life Alex Vause from the critically acclaimed, top-rated Netflix show Orange Is the New Black tells her story in her own words for the first time - a powerful, surprising memoir about crime and punishment, friendship and marriage, and a life caught in the ruinous drug trade and beyond.
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Must read for OITNB fans
- By D. T. Douglas on 06-21-15
By: Cleary Wolters
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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The Pursuit of Happyness (Abridged)
- By: Chris Gardner
- Narrated by: Andre Blake
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At the age of 20, Chris Gardner arrived in San Francisco to pursue a promising career in medicine. However, he surprised everyone and himself by setting his sights on the competitive world of high finance. Yet no sooner had he landed an entry-level position at a prestigious firm, Gardner found himself caught in a web of incredibly challenging circumstances that left him part of the city's working homeless with his toddler son.
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Very Good Story!
- By Lito Da Critic on 06-02-06
By: Chris Gardner
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Spellman Files
- By: Lisa Lutz
- Narrated by: Christina Moore
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Isabel Spellman may have a checkered past littered with romantic mistakes, excessive drinking, and creative vandalism - but she's good at her job as a licensed P.I. with her family's firm, Spellman Investigations. Invading people's privacy comes naturally to Izzy and all the Spellmans. If only they could leave their work at the office. Izzy walks an indistinguishable line between Spellman family member and Spellman employee. But when Izzy decides to get out of the family business in search of normalcy, she ends up taking on the most important case of her life.
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The Spellman Files (Unabridged)
- By Lisa Worthen on 07-14-11
By: Lisa Lutz
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Confessions of a Video Vixen
- Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits
- By: Karrine Steffans
- Narrated by: Karrine Steffans
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Confessions of a Video Vixen is the widely anticipated memoir of Karrine Steffans, the once-sought-after sexy siren who appeared in the music videos of multiplatinum hip hop artists such as Jay-Z, R. Kelly, and LL Cool J. A top-paid video dancer, Karrine transitioned to film when acclaimed director F. Gary Gray picked her to costar in his film A Man Apart, starring Vin Diesel.
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It ishard to stop listening to this one
- By Lito Da Critic on 07-11-05
By: Karrine Steffans
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Hardly Knew Her
- By: Laura Lippman
- Narrated by: Linda Emond, Francois Battiste
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Each of these ingenious tales is a gem, sometimes poignant, sometimes humorous, always filled with delightfully unanticipated twists and reversals. For people who have yet to listen to Lippman, get ready to experience the spellbinding power of "one of today's most pleasing storytellers" ( San Diego Union-Tribune). As for longtime devotees of her multiple award-winning novels, you'll discover that you hardly know her.
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I Love Laura Lippman
- By Joy on 07-15-11
By: Laura Lippman
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Hot Mess
- By: Emily Belden
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 13 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Twenty-something Allie Simon is used to playing by the rules - until Chicago's most sought-after, up-and-coming culinary genius, Benji Zane, walks into her world and pulls her into his. The only thing more renowned than Benji's mouthwatering masterpieces and equally luscious good looks? His struggle with addiction and his reckless tendency to live life on the edge, no matter the havoc he wreaks along the way. But loving someone means supporting him no matter what, or so Allie tells herself.
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Just finished...
- By Joanne Cunningham on 01-08-19
By: Emily Belden
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Privileged Information
- Alan Gregory, Book 1
- By: Stephen White
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 12 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Alan Gregory is a clinical psychologist with a thriving practice in Boulder, Colorado. His life begins to unravel when one of his female patients is found in an apparent suicide and the local paper begins printing accusations from an unnamed source of sexual impropriety between the woman and Dr. Gregory. He launches a psychological and personal quest for the truth that rapidly intensifies when more of his patients die untimely deaths, and Gregory suspects not only that the deaths are related but that another one of his patients may be somehow involved. Lacking facts but roused by suspicion and troubled by seemingly random acts of terror around him, Gregory starts to fear for the safety of the people he loves. The question of the inviolability of confidential disclosures made to Gregory by his patients - privileged information - becomes crucial as the psychologist pursues an unsettling romance with Lauren Crowder, a lovely deputy district attorney investigating one of the deaths. Bound to silence, Gregory follows the psychological tracks of someone he fears may be a cunning and disturbed killer, while turning to his enigmatic but supportive partner, Diane Estevez, for counsel, and to his tart-tongued female urologist neighbor for support. The sinister, surprising drama unfolds against Boulder's Rocky Mountain backdrop, in the arresting natural beauty of Aspen, and in the midst of a baroque Halloween costume party in downtown Boulder. Finally, in a lonely mountain lodge enshrouded in menace, the story comes to its breathtaking climax.
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Four and a half stars, actually....
- By karen on 10-11-13
By: Stephen White
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The Kings of Cool
- A Prequel to 'Savages'
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Holter Graham
- Length: 7 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Savages, Don Winslow introduced Ben and Chon, twentysomething best friends who risk everything to save the girl they both love, O. Now, in his high-octane prequel, Winslow reaches back in time to tell the story of how Ben, Chon, and O became the people they are. Spanning from 1960s Southern California to the recent past, it is a tale of family in all its forms. As the younger generation does battle with drug dealers and crooked cops, they learn that their future is inextricably linked with their parents' history.
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The truth always come home...
- By Darwin8u on 09-28-17
By: Don Winslow
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Fallen
- Out of the Sex Industry and into the Arms of the Savior
- By: Annie Lobert
- Narrated by: Annie Lobert
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Annie grabbed at what looked like an opportunity to escape her tumultuous, abuse-filled home, she had never heard the term sex trafficking. Needing money, wanting to be loved, and desperately seeking control of her life, she stumbled into the ever-darkening world of the sex industry as a glamorous, high-class escort in Las Vegas. All that glittered was not gold. She embarked on a dangerous path toward self-destruction.
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Life Changing
- By Yigosh on 07-03-15
By: Annie Lobert
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Agorafabulous!
- Dispatches From My Bedroom
- By: Sara Benincasa
- Narrated by: Sara Benincasa
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
One of the funniest and most poignant books ever written about a mental illness, Agorafabulous! is a hilarious, raw, and unforgettable account of how a terrified young woman, literally trapped by her own imagination, evolved into a (relatively) high-functioning professional smartass. Down to earth and seriously funny, Benincasa's no-holds-barred revelations offer listeners the politically incorrect hilarity they heartily crave, yet is so often missing from your typical, weepy, and redemptive personal memoir.
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More Fun than a Good Cry in a Bathroom Stall
- By Susie on 03-05-15
By: Sara Benincasa
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In Love with a Younger Man
- By: Cheryl Robinson
- Narrated by: Nikki Amsterdam
- Length: 11 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Olena Day’s first love died tragically, and her college boyfriend left her for nother woman. Now a successful, independent 43-year-old,she begins a passionate relationship with Matthew, a man 18 years her junior. Can a relationship finally end happily-ever-after for Olena—or will it be torn apart once again?
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A Sequel Will Be Coming From This...
- By Leejorae on 03-15-10
By: Cheryl Robinson
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The Turner House
- By: Angela Flournoy
- Narrated by: Adenrele Ojo
- Length: 12 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The Turners have lived on Yarrow Street for over 50 years. Their house has seen 13 children grown and gone - and some returned; it has seen the arrival of grandchildren, the fall of Detroit's East Side, and the loss of a father. The house still stands despite abandoned lots, an embattled city, and the inevitable shift outward to the suburbs. But now, as ailing matriarch Viola finds herself forced to leave her home and move in with her eldest son, the family discovers that the house is worth just a 10th of its mortgage.
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The narrator's performance made the difference.
- By KT on 06-11-15
By: Angela Flournoy
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Meth Monster
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Highly recommended and unexpectedly enlightening.
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A sex and relationship columnist bares it all in a series of essays—part memoir, part manifesto—that explore the author’s coming of age and coming out as a bisexual man and move toward embracing and celebrating sex unencumbered by shame.
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Great insight and information. Vain human.
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Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age 11. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise.
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Painful Journey
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Permanent Midnight
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Overall
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Story
A searing confessional infused with the darkest humor, Permanent Midnight chronicles the opiated abyss of a Hollywood screenwriter and his formidable climb into sobriety. Made into a major motion picture starring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Permanent Midnight is revered by critics and an ever-growing cult of devoted fans as one of the most compelling contemporary memoirs.
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Point deduction for the recording
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Strung Out
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Overall
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Story
This deeply personal and illuminating memoir about her 15-year struggle with heroin, Khar sheds profound light on the opioid crisis and gives a voice to the over two million people in America currently battling with this addiction. Growing up in LA, Erin Khar hid behind a picture-perfect childhood filled with excellent grades, a popular group of friends and horseback riding. After first experimenting with her grandmother’s expired painkillers, Khar started using heroin when she was thirteen.
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That's What Junkies Do is a brutally honest, often dark journey of one man's struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction. The story starts innocently enough in 1980's Brooklyn, NY, with a young boy, Thomas Figlioli, making a bad choice so he could gain the respect of a group of kids he looked up to and admired. Alcohol gives him the courage to be the person he always wanted to be. His fear and insecurity leaves and his lifelong struggle begins. When thoughts of ending it all become a better choice than living how he is, Thomas finally asks for help.
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The honesty and story gripped me right from the beginning and never let go.
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High Achiever
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Overall
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With heart-racing urgency and unflinching honesty, Jenkins takes you inside the grips of addiction and the desperate decisions it breeds. She is a born storyteller who lived an incredible story, from blackmail by an ex-boyfriend to a soul-shattering deal with a drug dealer, and her telling brims with suspense and unexpected wit. But the true surprise is her path to recovery. Tiffany breaks through the stigma and silence to offer hope and inspiration to anyone battling the disease - whether it’s a loved one or themselves.
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I Get it, You Were an Addict
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Bath Haus
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Overall
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Oliver Park, a recovering addict from Indiana, finally has everything he ever wanted: sobriety and a loving, wealthy partner in Nathan, a prominent DC trauma surgeon. Despite their difference in age and disparate backgrounds, they've made a perfect life together. With everything to lose, Oliver shouldn't be visiting Haus, a gay bathhouse. But through the entrance he goes, and it's a line crossed. Inside, he follows a man into a private room, and it's the final line. Whatever happens next, Nathan can never know.
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Absolutely Gripping
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Crystal Meth Addiction
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Overall
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This book is for all those lost souls who are stuck in the darkness of meth addiction. Meth addiction is one of the major problems society is struggling with. This book sheds light on crystal meth addiction and contains numerous unknown facts about the drug. You'll learn useful and lifesaving information about this addiction.
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No meat
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Suburban Junky
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- Length: 5 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jude Hassan was an ordinary, all-American kid. He had two amazing parents who gave him everything, especially a loving home. At fourteen, Jude's family moved from their home in the city to a beautiful suburban town on the outskirts of St. Louis. Suddenly, Jude was faced with being the new kid for the first time in his young life. He struggled to find his way in his new surroundings but continued to make straight A’s and excel in sports. When a fellow student approached him about attending a party, he was apprehensive but eager to experience his first social gathering. Unfortunately, that ...
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Wonderful story of healing and family values.
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Chasing a Flawed Sun
- By: Daniel McGhee
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- Length: 14 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This is a true story. A transparent story of the life of a young man in America, who, like many of our lost youth, found his way into the drug culture. This story is an autopsy into the mind, heart, and soul of an addict. It begins at childhood and takes us through the thoughts, turmoil, and inner conflicts of a person lost in the undercurrent of addiction, and ends in a climax of self-discovery and realization. It is a gripping tale of a suburban youth and his journey through the streets of Baltimore, institutions, prisons, addiction, and worst of all, his own mind.
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don't bother
- By Lindsay on 04-24-21
By: Daniel McGhee
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Miss Memory Lane
- A Memoir
- By: Colton Haynes
- Narrated by: Colton Haynes
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 2018, Colton Haynes woke up in a hospital. He’d had two seizures, lost vision in one eye, almost ruptured a kidney, and been put on an involuntary psychiatric hold. Not yet thirty, he knew he had to take stock of his life and make some serious changes if he wanted to see his next birthday. As he worked towards sobriety, Haynes allowed himself to become vulnerable for the first time and discovered profound self-awareness. He had millions of social media followers who constantly told him they loved him.
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Amazing Story and Young Man
- By Carl Allen on 10-18-22
By: Colton Haynes
What listeners say about Tweakerworld
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- A.J.Paige
- 10-25-23
love the story!
Loved it! I felt like I devoured this reading! Found myself in the oages, so to speak. Beautiful story!
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- Anonymous User
- 03-13-24
Such a powerful retelling of the authors addiction!!
Perfect as is - sad but funny, powerful and impactful. I highly recommend this audiobook and am grateful to have been part of the audience.
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- Roberta
- 12-04-23
Fantastic story, phenomenal storytelling
I listen to dozens of audiobooks every year, and this was definitely my favorite for this year. The story is wildly entertaining, and Jason‘s style of storytelling is simply awesome. This book offers a deep dive into a world not many are familiar with and also has an important message.
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- JD
- 07-23-23
Powerful story!
Having survived my own struggles with meth and GHB, Jason Yamas paints a very real, a very harsh, very painful picture of what this lifestyle consists of. I am glad someone is telling this story!
A friend recommended this to me, and I am glad they did! A must read!
Thank you for sharing your journey, Jason!
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- Shevaun Bastarache
- 09-05-23
An amazing tale of addiction and recovery
I had previously had no knowledge of the meth underworld in queer San Francisco culture. This memoir was eye-opening and instructive.
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- Dachsie Dog
- 08-30-23
Tweakerworld
Riveting and powerful but I could not help but be put in mind of A Million Little Pieces when reading. The detail recalled with such specificity (while bombed out of his gourd) gave me a hunch that much of the retelling was an amalgam of memories put together in the best way he could cobble them after the fact. Nonetheless it is a fabulous read and sheds light on a problem of epidemic proportions that is destroying a vibrant community.
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- Vanessa
- 09-12-23
just finished, starting again immediately
so, i am bi female but have worked with young addicts in the gay community here in New England. matter fact, the last time i was in rehab when i asked the new man his DOC. when he said meth, i saif, oh, are you gay? im so grateful, as a recovering crack head, to have nevee been able to find meth. i saw this all to relate to the writer, and swallow my fear and ego and pride to relate to those who can relate to this story. i absolutely loved this book. so much i just started it agaij right after finsihing. i have pushing off the last chapter being sad it was almost over. i dont ubderstand why any author wouldnt reas their own book. i love his voic3, his tones, his character voices. his thoughts, stories, and pages kept me feining for more before it was even over. i lived this book and so will anyone else who has an open mind, and appreciates truth, the ability to overcome ones fears to share honesty with others..high recommened. 10 out of 10.
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- Tristan A. Jayol
- 11-14-24
Jason delivers a nice audio performance
Jason Yamas wrote a long and entertaining memoir about his life as a gay PNP-er and drug dealer.
Jason also performed the book on audio, which adds a lot to the writing. He does some entertaining impressions of the characters.
Jason is not really such a good person, but we love him because he is honest and articulate.
[What I mean is that Jason, the narrator, seems to be giving us, the readers, and honest confession of his past life as a dishonest person.]
Most gay men will be able to relate to him. And most addicts will be able to relate to him, too.
Jason also took on some risk by revealing so much of his criminal and embarrassing behavior, and I am grateful to him for that.
Jason, I hope to see you succeed in your creative projects. Thank you for getting your shit together long enough to write this fun book. I wonder if I will read about you relapsing and dying in a car accident some day. Hope not.
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- Tyler Quear
- 03-27-23
Amazing !
Thanks for the courage to bring all of this to public light, the SF community and the LGBT community is forever grateful.
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- Peter J. Socki
- 06-20-23
Spot-On
This book is a spot-on-straight-to-the-point description of the chem sex scene ravishing the LGBTQ community. Yamas hits every detail of this debauched world with complete accuracy entertaining, shocking, and informing his audience simultaneously. This work is a reminder that the meth scene is still going strong. A great read for those who lived it (though it may trigger some in recovery) and those that had a loved one who was a tweaker. Not to be used as a “How To” book in any aspect. Thank you Jason.
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