
Branched
A Comedy With Consequences
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
$0.99/mo for the first 3 months

Buy for $6.95
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Joe Arden
-
Lance Greenfield
-
Erin Mallon
-
Carly Robins
-
By:
-
Erin Mallon
About this listen
Ben is having a difficult week. After five whole years of “drinking from Mommy’s boobies”, he suddenly has to step aside for his new baby sister, Beatrice, who may or may not be human. Mommy says he has to “support her appearance no matter how humiliating it is for us as family”, but that’s hard to do when your sister has branches for arms and legs. Plus, he just found out that Daddy is having “the sex” with his new kindergarten teacher and he’s not sure how to tell Mommy. As a five-year-old entrepreneur, Ben prides himself on always staying cool under pressure, but this time...he may just burst.
Cast Size: Three Females, One Male, One Freaky Creation
©2016 Erin Mallon (P)2021 Erin MallonListeners also enjoyed...
-
These Walls Can Talk
- An Audio Play
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Andi Arndt, Shane East, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's totally normal to fall in love with an audiobook narrator's voice, right? Right. Just ask Vera, who listens to "her" guy whenever and wherever she can: while driving, working, parenting, cooking, cleaning, showering...you name it. But now, she's bringing him into the bedroom. And her husband is less than pleased.
-
-
✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By 🎧 Cyndi Marie 🎧 on 06-10-20
By: Erin Mallon
-
Showmancing the Bone
- A Warmington Players Novella
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon
- Length: 2 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Wendy Finegan is a lifelong, self-professed theater nerd. When an unexpected opportunity arises to stage manage a truly awful show featuring a sexy soup maker she has secretly crushed on for years, how can she say no? But there are two rules Wendy absolutely must follow, or else the whole show could fall apart: 1. Never ever set foot onstage, and 2. Do not, under any circumstances, give in to a showmance with this sexy soup man. Rule number one certainly won’t be an issue, but rule number two? Rule number two is going to be a big problem.
-
-
✫✫ 4 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 11-16-22
By: Erin Mallon
-
Come Find Me
- An Audio Play
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Cynthia Darlow, Jonathan Davis, Caitlin Kelly, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ilda talks to people who aren’t there. Tilly hears fingers clawing at her door. All the while, the moon keeps her watchful eyes on them. Come Find Me is a time-hopping, feminist ghost story spanning two time periods. As it weaves its way through the halls of Trenton Psychiatric Hospital in 1907 and a beach house during the tumultuous summer of 1969, we discover the secret-laden lives of three women and how their worlds intertwine.
-
-
✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 10-28-20
By: Erin Mallon
-
Comedies with Consequence
- Four Scripted Stories by Erin Mallon
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Cynthia Darlow, Jonathan Davis, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Four "delightfully twisted" scripted stories by Erin Mallon are now available as a bundle.
-
-
✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 11-24-21
By: Erin Mallon
-
Butcher & Blackbird
- The Ruinous Love Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Brynne Weaver
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Lucy Rivers
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When a chance encounter sparks an unlikely bond between rival murderers Sloane and Rowan, the two find something elusive—the friendship of a like-minded, pitch-black soul. From small-town West Virginia to upscale California, from downtown Boston to rural Texas, the two hunters collide in an annual game of blood and suffering, one that pits them against the most dangerous monsters in the country.
-
-
Listen, I'm a 'sympathetic retcher'
- By J. Scarlyn on 10-25-23
By: Brynne Weaver
-
Dante
- Chicago Ruthless, Book 1
- By: Sadie Kincaid
- Narrated by: Elena Wolfe, Tor Thom
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I hate Dante Moretti. He is cold, calculating, and vicious. It’s no secret that he wiped out his former fiancée and her entire family on the eve of their wedding. He’s the kind of evil that makes even devils cry. But that’s not why I hate him.
-
-
I DIDN’T LOVE IT.. BUT COULDN’T STOP LISTENING
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 09-01-23
By: Sadie Kincaid
-
These Walls Can Talk
- An Audio Play
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Andi Arndt, Shane East, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's totally normal to fall in love with an audiobook narrator's voice, right? Right. Just ask Vera, who listens to "her" guy whenever and wherever she can: while driving, working, parenting, cooking, cleaning, showering...you name it. But now, she's bringing him into the bedroom. And her husband is less than pleased.
-
-
✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By 🎧 Cyndi Marie 🎧 on 06-10-20
By: Erin Mallon
-
Showmancing the Bone
- A Warmington Players Novella
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon
- Length: 2 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Wendy Finegan is a lifelong, self-professed theater nerd. When an unexpected opportunity arises to stage manage a truly awful show featuring a sexy soup maker she has secretly crushed on for years, how can she say no? But there are two rules Wendy absolutely must follow, or else the whole show could fall apart: 1. Never ever set foot onstage, and 2. Do not, under any circumstances, give in to a showmance with this sexy soup man. Rule number one certainly won’t be an issue, but rule number two? Rule number two is going to be a big problem.
-
-
✫✫ 4 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 11-16-22
By: Erin Mallon
-
Come Find Me
- An Audio Play
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Cynthia Darlow, Jonathan Davis, Caitlin Kelly, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ilda talks to people who aren’t there. Tilly hears fingers clawing at her door. All the while, the moon keeps her watchful eyes on them. Come Find Me is a time-hopping, feminist ghost story spanning two time periods. As it weaves its way through the halls of Trenton Psychiatric Hospital in 1907 and a beach house during the tumultuous summer of 1969, we discover the secret-laden lives of three women and how their worlds intertwine.
-
-
✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 10-28-20
By: Erin Mallon
-
Comedies with Consequence
- Four Scripted Stories by Erin Mallon
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Cynthia Darlow, Jonathan Davis, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Four "delightfully twisted" scripted stories by Erin Mallon are now available as a bundle.
-
-
✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 11-24-21
By: Erin Mallon
-
Butcher & Blackbird
- The Ruinous Love Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Brynne Weaver
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Lucy Rivers
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When a chance encounter sparks an unlikely bond between rival murderers Sloane and Rowan, the two find something elusive—the friendship of a like-minded, pitch-black soul. From small-town West Virginia to upscale California, from downtown Boston to rural Texas, the two hunters collide in an annual game of blood and suffering, one that pits them against the most dangerous monsters in the country.
-
-
Listen, I'm a 'sympathetic retcher'
- By J. Scarlyn on 10-25-23
By: Brynne Weaver
-
Dante
- Chicago Ruthless, Book 1
- By: Sadie Kincaid
- Narrated by: Elena Wolfe, Tor Thom
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I hate Dante Moretti. He is cold, calculating, and vicious. It’s no secret that he wiped out his former fiancée and her entire family on the eve of their wedding. He’s the kind of evil that makes even devils cry. But that’s not why I hate him.
-
-
I DIDN’T LOVE IT.. BUT COULDN’T STOP LISTENING
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 09-01-23
By: Sadie Kincaid
-
The Bromantic Comedies
- Six Short Audio Plays for Fellas
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Jason Clarke, Shane East, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 22 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A paintball battleground. A wrestling mat for sleep-deprived new daddies. A feminine product aisle in the local drugstore. These are some of the places where men connect...at least in The Bromantic Comedies. A compilation of humorous and heartfelt plays exploring what it means to be "masculine" in a world where men are supposed to be tough.
-
-
✫✫ 4.5 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 01-31-21
By: Erin Mallon
-
Flirtasaurus
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Erin Mallon
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
My name is Calliope and "I bone for a living." Kidding. I am studying to be a paleontologist though. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to be, and I have finally landed the perfect museum internship to make all of my dino-loving dreams come true. Trouble is, everyone wants me to be a gentle, loving sort of creature, but I'm more of the T-Rex type by nature - the kind who is determined to stomp and tear her way through any obstacle in order to get what she wants.
-
-
Couldn't Finish
- By Kimberly on 08-19-20
By: Erin Mallon
-
Skin Hungry
- An Audio Play
- By: Erin Mallon
- Narrated by: Delphi Harrington, Zachary Webber, PJ Ochlan, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ruth is a 74-year-old woman. Rowan is a 23-year-old man. They’re in love. And Ruth’s 43-year-old son is freaking the hell out.
-
-
✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 11-30-20
By: Erin Mallon
-
The Chameleon Effect
- By: Joe Arden
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Maxine Mitchell
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I've got everything it takes to make it in Tinseltown: confidence, charisma, and a killer chin. Now all I need is a chance. But Los Angeles is full of hot young hunks, and talent might not be enough to separate me from the cookie-cutter crowd. So I devise a wild scheme to get noticed. Pretend I’m someone I'm not—good-bye Will O’Connell of Cincinnati and hello Liam O’Connell of Dublin. "Liam" and his talent with accents is enough to get my foot in the door, but I never anticipated meeting the woman who has me more worried about keeping my foot out of my mouth.
-
-
What a debut!
- By Anne-Geneviève Ducharme-Audran on 09-13-22
By: Joe Arden
-
Knot so Lucky (Destination Love Book 1)
- By: Trilina Pucci
- Narrated by: Samantha Brentmoor, Jacob Morgan, Teddy Hamilton, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What happens is that you get “make out with strangers and pee in a parking lot” drunk. Tie the knot with a guy you just met. Then *allegedly* participate in depraved group activities with him and his friends in the honeymoon suite of a five-star hotel. But that’s not even the worst part.
-
-
Hilarious + spicy + fantastic narration!
- By creatingkristen on 11-09-23
By: Trilina Pucci
-
If You Would Have Told Me
- A Memoir
- By: John Stamos
- Narrated by: John Stamos
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
If you would have told a young John Stamos flipping burgers at his dad’s fast-food joint that one day he’d be a household name and that, at the height of his success, he’d be living alone, divorced, with no kids, high on a cocktail of forgetting, he might’ve asked, “You want fries with that?”
-
-
Don't expect Uncle Jesse's autobiography...
- By Song4Ten on 10-24-23
By: John Stamos
-
Obsession
- The Mate Games, Book 1
- By: Meg Anne, K. Loraine
- Narrated by: Stella Hunter, Jason Clarke, James Joseph, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I rejected my fated mate, and didn’t regret it for a second. Until now. Shipped off to Ravenscroft University, a graduate school for the supernatural elite, I have a lot to live up to. As heir to America’s most powerful pack, I was locked away. Not to be protected, but because I was born broken. A disappointment. A wolf who couldn’t shift. This is supposed to be my fresh start, but my past won’t leave me alone. Not when he’s here.
-
-
Compelling, Magnetic, & Fun
- By Val on 05-17-22
By: Meg Anne, and others
-
Drive
- Bittersweet Symphony Duet, Book 1
- By: Kate Stewart
- Narrated by: Wen Ross, Kai Kennicott
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The average song is three and a half minutes long; those three and a half minutes could lead to a slow blink, a glimpse of the past, or catapult the soul into heart-shattering nostalgia. At the height of my career, I had the life I wanted, the life I’d always envisioned. I’d found my tempo, my rhythm. Then I received a phone call that left me off key. You see, my favorite songs had a way of playing simultaneously. I was in love with one man’s beats and another’s lyrics. But when it came to the soundtrack of a life, how could anyone choose a favorite song?
-
-
"I'm right here"....Sigh....
- By AEW on 03-08-23
By: Kate Stewart
-
The Hundred Loves of Juliet
- A Novel
- By: Evelyn Skye
- Narrated by: Aspen Vincent, Joe Arden, Evelyn Skye
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After a bad breakup, Helene Janssen runs away to Alaska to find some peace and quiet. She’s been dreaming up bits and pieces of a novel for years and hopes to finally have time to write it. On her first night there, Helene meets Sebastien Montague, a crab fisherman who looks exactly like the hero in the book she’s working on. But how is that even possible? Sebastien seems to recognize Helene, too, but he lies about it and brushes her off, even though their chemistry is immediate and undeniable.
-
-
Disappointed
- By SafjSmith on 03-14-24
By: Evelyn Skye
-
A Love For All Seasons (Lyon Family Series Book 0.5)
- By: Leslie Pike
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Maxine Mitchell
- Length: 1 hr and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It’s 1969, and the world is changing. Men are on the moon, and American tourist Aurora Masters’ head is in the stars. The sensual sculptor she watches through a timeworn studio window is her favorite French piece of art. Gaston Lyon lives up to his name. He is a lion of a Frenchman, strong and confident, with a shoulder-length mane. The woman on the bench across the street has watched him for three days. It’s time to introduce himself to the one who calls without words.
-
-
Short, Sweet, Sexy
- By Johanna on 04-01-23
By: Leslie Pike
-
More With You
- By: Erin Spencer
- Narrated by: Ava Erickson, Zachary Webber
- Length: 10 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
I wasn’t looking for love. Putting down roots in this small, Southern town was the last thing on my mind. Ben changed all that with his kind nature and gentle ways. Somehow, he painted over the cracks on the canvas of my heart. Never did I feel more alive than with my arms around his waist on the back of his motorcycle and my hair blowing in the wind. But I was a nobody. To his family of wealth and privilege, I wasn’t worthy of him. And they were willing to do whatever it took to drive us apart.
-
-
That endless Summer
- By ➷➹➸❥HFB🔹🔹🔹 on 10-07-22
By: Erin Spencer
-
The Intern
- By: Serena Akeroyd
- Narrated by: Joe Arden, Jacob Morgan
- Length: 7 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sex comes with a price tag. One I’m quite willing to pay. In fact, I prefer it. It’s easier that way, and in my life, I prefer ease. Prefer for most things to be transactional.
-
-
Workplace M|M romance with spice & swoon
- By Lauren Brooke on 07-22-23
By: Serena Akeroyd
What listeners say about Branched
Highly rated for:
Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Nicole Ortiz
- 09-03-22
Entertaining Quick Listen!
3.5* for the story
5* for the narrators
This is a crazy bizzare story. Listening to this is an experience I never had with an audio book. It kinda reminded me when I was younger and if we were going home late my dad would always put the radio on a station that they told stories but it was brought to life. For example the kid plays the violin, you hear him playing it. I really like the narrator who played the kid he had me laughing.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Booktastic
- 03-31-21
Nice way to spend an hour..
I am an audio fan of all of the narrators. So was happy to have the time to listen to this audio. They each bring something special to the play. Joe Arden's Ben young boy voice was my favorite part of the story. Can see that they are all friends and enjoyed reading the play together.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Trish- Late Knight Luna Reads
- 03-06-21
Another winner from Erin
Seriously. How does Erin think of these plays? This one had me cracking up the whole time. And it also made me think. What’s real? What’s fake? It’s a witty play based in NYC that kept me listening to the very last second. I love audio plays and would absolutely love to see this one live in person. It’s one that leaves you thinking at the end about just how weird the world can be. But also how accepting and funny it can be. This play is the whole package.
Erin always picks the perfect narrator for each character. I honestly had no idea Joe Arden was the voice of the young son until the end with the bloopers.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Tracy Gonzalez
- 04-05-21
Hilarious!
This play was hilariously entertaining! And the narration was wonderful! I love Erin Mallon's plays!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Cheryl
- 04-01-21
Strange, but wonderfully done.
Erin Mallon has a gift for words. This play was cheeky, humorous with a dash of strange. Yes. Strange, but it works.
First, the sound mixing was amazing. From the background noises to violin to how well layered the voices were done. Just a pleasure to listen to.
The story is quirky and ends on a curious note. I liked that aspect though and while I thought it was written well, the story wasn’t something I would normally gravitate to.
The narrators were great. Carly Robins had such a great tone and I couldn’t believe Joe Arden stayed in that kid’s voice for so long. Erin Mallon and Lance Greenfield were great as well. They all fit their characters to a T.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Rochelle
- 03-31-21
Fun listen
Let me say that when you pick this up, you won’t be disappointed. Erin has created a wonderful story that was brought to life thanks to wonderful performances by Joe Arden, Carly Robins, Lance Greenfield and Erin. Their performances of each character was so good. You could feel what each character was feeling and experience what they were experiencing. Loved this audio play and can’t wait to listen to more of them from her.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- ledgerina
- 04-01-21
Magnificently Hilarious, LOL
Love this play! Filled with metaphors and totally ingenuity! All the characters were wonderful. The chara cter of Tamara, aka mommy reminded me of 'Unice' from the movie What's 8rtistic classical contribution! Brilliant work by the talented Erin Mallon. Interesting, how Tamara Jenkins from Dawson's Creek was reversed.... And the only, beautiful talented Joe Arden's performance was FKNG superb !!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Tracy Musgrove
- 03-06-21
Delightfully Twisted
Having won a copy print copy of Branched, I had read it a couple of times, and I was excited to hear it was coming to audio.
I am still in awe over at. I knew Joe would be perfect but I underestimated everyone on this one. I am just over the moon with how it turned out. It is beyond delightfully twisted and is fabulous. They hit this one out of the park. If it doesnt make you feel awkward and a little creeped out and laugh all at the same time, I dont know what to tell you.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Sherri
- 04-24-21
Ha!
I loved the multi-cast recording. My favorite part was Joe's 5 year old!! No one does little kid voices better.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jeannie Sylvester
- 03-31-21
Cute and hilarious
This was too cute and so hilariously funny and a bit weird!! All the characters we amazing. Joe Arden especially as he played a 5 yr old boy.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!