Branched
A Comedy With Consequences
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Narrated by:
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Joe Arden
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Lance Greenfield
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Erin Mallon
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Carly Robins
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By:
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Erin Mallon
About this listen
Ben is having a difficult week. After five whole years of “drinking from Mommy’s boobies”, he suddenly has to step aside for his new baby sister, Beatrice, who may or may not be human. Mommy says he has to “support her appearance no matter how humiliating it is for us as family”, but that’s hard to do when your sister has branches for arms and legs. Plus, he just found out that Daddy is having “the sex” with his new kindergarten teacher and he’s not sure how to tell Mommy. As a five-year-old entrepreneur, Ben prides himself on always staying cool under pressure, but this time...he may just burst.
Cast Size: Three Females, One Male, One Freaky Creation
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Liza B.—the only DJ who gives a jam—wants to take her neighborhood back from the soulless property developer dropping unaffordable condos on every street corner in DC. But her planned protest at a corporate event takes a turn after she mistakes the smoldering-hot CEO for the waitstaff. When they go toe-to-toe, the sparks fly—but her impossible-to-ignore family thwarts her every move. Liza wants Dorsey Fitzgerald out of her hood, but she’ll settle for getting him out of her head.
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The CHEMISTRY
- By Kristen Killen on 09-18-23
By: Nikki Payne
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Frayed
- Willow Springs Series, Book 1
- By: Laura Pavlov
- Narrated by: Virginia Rose, Lee Samuels
- Length: 10 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Adelaide Edington, and my life was mapped out for me before I even entered the world: who I'd date, where I’d attend college, what I'd be when I grew up. But there comes a time in everyone's life when they face a fork in the road. Should I go left, or should I go right? It didn't matter as long as I didn't remain stagnant any longer. Jett Stone opened me up to a whole new world, reminding me that it was okay to find my own way. I could have roots in Willow Springs and still spread my wings and fly. What I didn't expect was to fall in love with the broody football player.
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YAY!!
- By Anonymous on 10-05-22
By: Laura Pavlov
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Empire High Bundle, Books 1-3
- By: Ivy Smoak
- Narrated by: Laurie West, Connor Crais
- Length: 31 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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This audiobook box set collects the first three books in the new-adult romance series Empire High: Empire High Untouchables, Empire High Elite, and Empire High Betrayal. At a high-school where the wealthy, beautiful kids are on top, a new student comes in and shakes everything up.
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Like it but the main character drives me nuts!
- By Mandy Elizabeth on 02-11-24
By: Ivy Smoak
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The Stuff that Never Happened
- A Novel
- By: Maddie Dawson
- Narrated by: Teri Clark Linden
- Length: 11 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Annabelle McKay knows she shouldn’t have any complaints. She’s been in a stable marriage that’s lasted almost three decades and has provided her with two wonderful children and thousands of family dinners around a sturdy oak table. Other wives envy the fact that Grant is not the type of man who would ever cheat on her or leave her for a younger woman. The trouble is Annabelle isn’t sure she wants to be married to Grant anymore. The trouble is she’s still in love with someone else.
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Don’t pass this one up.
- By Lauren on 03-10-20
By: Maddie Dawson
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The Whole Package
- Movin' On Series, Book 1
- By: Marie Harte
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Always the caretaker, former Marine Reid Griffith wants to help his brother adjust to civilian life...and help other former servicemen too. What better way to utilize their brawn, discipline, and charm than by employing them at a moving company that hires veterans? Although Reid prides himself on being strategic, he certainly doesn't plan to fall into the spotlight of one brilliant - and beautiful - public-relations whiz...
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Narrator was awful
- By Raylynn Lee on 02-21-20
By: Marie Harte
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Chasing Perfect
- Fool's Gold, Book 1
- By: Susan Mallery
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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There is only one thing wrong with the charming community of Fool’s Gold, California: the men don’t stick around! This problem has to be fixed, fast, and Charity Jones may be just the city planner up to the challenge. Charity immediately falls in love with all the storybook town has to offer – except its sexy, famous, world-class cyclist Josh Golden. With her long list of romantic disasters, she’s not about to take a chance on another bad boy…but it may just be what they both need!
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Awful narration
- By Kimberly on 05-17-10
By: Susan Mallery
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Just Jenny
- By: Sandra Owens
- Narrated by: Felicity Hart, Edward Thomas
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In Just Jenny, Jenny Nance has a plan - save enough money to tour the world. The desire to traipse the globe is a dream she once shared with her twin sister. Jenny made a deathbed promise to her sister that she would go to all the places they had fantasized visiting together. Nothing will entice her to break her vow to Natalie, not even the sexy new Blue Ridge Valley police chief.... No matter how attracted she is to him.
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0 stars for Felicity Hart. 5 for Edward Thomas..
- By Trish R. on 08-06-19
By: Sandra Owens
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Impossible
- By: Nancy Werlin
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Lucy Scarborough is 17 when she discovers that the women of her family have been cursed through the generations, forced to attempt three seemingly impossible tasks or to fall into madness upon their child's birth. How can Lucy succeed when all of her ancestors have tried and failed? But Lucy is the first girl who won't be alone as she tackles the list. She has her fiercely protective foster parents beside her. And she has Zach, whose strength amazes her more each day. Do they have enough love and resolve to overcome an age-old evil?
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Amazing!!
- By S. McGowan on 04-03-11
By: Nancy Werlin
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Nero
- Made Men, Book 1
- By: Sarah Brianne
- Narrated by: Aaron Landon
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Nero is the king of Legacy Prep, living a life of power. Elle is the school's punching bag, living a life of fear.
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two words...Amazing and hott!
- By Jenee's Reviews on 09-15-15
By: Sarah Brianne
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Just My Luck
- By: Andrea Bramhall
- Narrated by: Rachael Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Genna Collins works a dead end job, loves her family, her girlfriend, and her friends. When she wins the biggest Euromillions jackpot on record everything changes . . . and not always for the best. When Abi Kitson fell in love she always knew it would go unrequited. The woman of her dreams was so close yet seemingly untouchable for so many reasons. Reasons like—they are best friends, or the big age gap, or the 'other' woman, nevermind Abi's own baggage.
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Good
- By Wendy Davidson on 10-25-24
By: Andrea Bramhall
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Kissing Game
- By: Marie Harte
- Narrated by: Laura Jennings
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Rena Jackson is ready. She's worked her tail off to open up her own hair salon, and she's almost ready to quit her job at the dive bar. Rena's also a diehard romantic, and she's had her eye on bar regular Axel Heller for a while. He's got that tall-brooding-and-handsome thing going big time. Problem is, he's got that buttoned-up Germanic-ice-man thing going as well. With Valentine's Day just around the corner, Rena's about ready to give up on Axel and find her own Mr. Right.
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Do Not Waste Your Time
- By InspiredByBeauty on 03-17-21
By: Marie Harte
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Taming Natasha
- The Stanislaskis, Book 1
- By: Nora Roberts
- Narrated by: Christina Traister
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The first time single father Spence Kimball set eyes on Natasha Stanislaski, he was floored by her exotic beauty. But the former ballet dancer turned toy shop owner had a fiery temperament that kept men safely at bay. Sensing a hidden wound, Spence and his little girl joined forces to find a way into her closely guarded heart. For Spence realized he'd do anything to tame Natasha's fears...and show her how to love.
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Awful Narrator
- By Lit Chick on 08-12-15
By: Nora Roberts
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The Fourth Child
- A Novel
- By: Jessica Winter
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 12 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The author of Break in Case of Emergency follows up her the “extraordinary debut” (The Guardian) with a moving novel about motherhood and marriage, adolescence and bodily autonomy, family and love, religion and sexuality, and the delicate balance between the purity of faith and the messy reality of life.
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Just OK - Considered Bailing
- By Madeleine Homan on 04-18-21
By: Jessica Winter
What listeners say about Branched
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Nicole Ortiz
- 09-03-22
Entertaining Quick Listen!
3.5* for the story
5* for the narrators
This is a crazy bizzare story. Listening to this is an experience I never had with an audio book. It kinda reminded me when I was younger and if we were going home late my dad would always put the radio on a station that they told stories but it was brought to life. For example the kid plays the violin, you hear him playing it. I really like the narrator who played the kid he had me laughing.
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- Booktastic
- 03-31-21
Nice way to spend an hour..
I am an audio fan of all of the narrators. So was happy to have the time to listen to this audio. They each bring something special to the play. Joe Arden's Ben young boy voice was my favorite part of the story. Can see that they are all friends and enjoyed reading the play together.
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- Trish- Late Knight Luna Reads
- 03-06-21
Another winner from Erin
Seriously. How does Erin think of these plays? This one had me cracking up the whole time. And it also made me think. What’s real? What’s fake? It’s a witty play based in NYC that kept me listening to the very last second. I love audio plays and would absolutely love to see this one live in person. It’s one that leaves you thinking at the end about just how weird the world can be. But also how accepting and funny it can be. This play is the whole package.
Erin always picks the perfect narrator for each character. I honestly had no idea Joe Arden was the voice of the young son until the end with the bloopers.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Tracy Gonzalez
- 04-05-21
Hilarious!
This play was hilariously entertaining! And the narration was wonderful! I love Erin Mallon's plays!
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- Cheryl
- 04-01-21
Strange, but wonderfully done.
Erin Mallon has a gift for words. This play was cheeky, humorous with a dash of strange. Yes. Strange, but it works.
First, the sound mixing was amazing. From the background noises to violin to how well layered the voices were done. Just a pleasure to listen to.
The story is quirky and ends on a curious note. I liked that aspect though and while I thought it was written well, the story wasn’t something I would normally gravitate to.
The narrators were great. Carly Robins had such a great tone and I couldn’t believe Joe Arden stayed in that kid’s voice for so long. Erin Mallon and Lance Greenfield were great as well. They all fit their characters to a T.
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- Rochelle
- 03-31-21
Fun listen
Let me say that when you pick this up, you won’t be disappointed. Erin has created a wonderful story that was brought to life thanks to wonderful performances by Joe Arden, Carly Robins, Lance Greenfield and Erin. Their performances of each character was so good. You could feel what each character was feeling and experience what they were experiencing. Loved this audio play and can’t wait to listen to more of them from her.
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- ledgerina
- 04-01-21
Magnificently Hilarious, LOL
Love this play! Filled with metaphors and totally ingenuity! All the characters were wonderful. The chara cter of Tamara, aka mommy reminded me of 'Unice' from the movie What's 8rtistic classical contribution! Brilliant work by the talented Erin Mallon. Interesting, how Tamara Jenkins from Dawson's Creek was reversed.... And the only, beautiful talented Joe Arden's performance was FKNG superb !!
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- Tracy Musgrove
- 03-06-21
Delightfully Twisted
Having won a copy print copy of Branched, I had read it a couple of times, and I was excited to hear it was coming to audio.
I am still in awe over at. I knew Joe would be perfect but I underestimated everyone on this one. I am just over the moon with how it turned out. It is beyond delightfully twisted and is fabulous. They hit this one out of the park. If it doesnt make you feel awkward and a little creeped out and laugh all at the same time, I dont know what to tell you.
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- Sherri
- 04-24-21
Ha!
I loved the multi-cast recording. My favorite part was Joe's 5 year old!! No one does little kid voices better.
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- Jeannie Sylvester
- 03-31-21
Cute and hilarious
This was too cute and so hilariously funny and a bit weird!! All the characters we amazing. Joe Arden especially as he played a 5 yr old boy.
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