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Everybody Is Awful
- Except You!
- Narrated by: Jim Norton - Foreword, Jim Florentine
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
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Publisher's summary
A rant-ish memoir by the veteran stand-up comedian and former cohost of That Metal Show, with a foreword by Jim Norton.
Twitter Trolls. Facebook Freaks. Instagram Exhibitionists. These are just a few of the creatures our technology-obsessed culture has spawned in its quest to simplify our lives. The madness is so universal now that everyone has dealt with it.
You log in to Facebook, read a stupid post, and immediately want to tell your "friend" to go have relations with himself. Sure, social media may keep us connected, but it is a breeding ground for idiots, and these idiots have crowd-sourced a storm of useless information, corny jokes, and douchebag drama that's wasting our time and screwing with our peace of mind. Thankfully, popular comedian and television host Jim Florentine has a solution for those of us on the verge of bashing our iPhones to bits.
In Everybody Is Awful, Florentine attacks awful people and awful situations with the same biting satire and cringe-worthy humor that made him famous on television shows like Crank Yankers, Meet the Creeps, and That Metal Show. Along the way, Everybody Is Awful takes listeners through the author's formative years, a time filled with rebellion and horrible behavior, to the crazy early days of his career as a stand-up comedian. Florentine also recounts how he developed an obsession with pranks that morphed into his uniquely vigilante style of comedy and made him one of the most legendary prank callers of all time.
Florentine excels at channeling the core rage we all feel at the seemingly small annoyances of life, and his fans love the cathartic experience of his hilarious ranting and raving, a tradition continued in Everybody Is Awful. Acting as a de facto therapist, Florentine diagnoses awful behavior, shames awful people, and offers comedic takes on how to reclaim our lives from it all.
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Story
In her hilarious New York Times best seller You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again, Heather McDonald recounted her adventures as an unwilling virgin in Hollywood. Now happily married with three wonderful kids, she shows that life as a grown-up - even a pretend grown-up - has its challenges. Heather’s a working mom with parents who live next door, a sister who keeps asking for one of her still-fertile eggs, and friends who are up to more hijinks than even Heather can handle.
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Irritating
- By TrishS on 04-23-13
By: Heather McDonald
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Wanna Bet?
- A Degenerate Gambler's Guide to Living on the Edge
- By: Artie Lange
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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The two-time best-selling author, comedian, actor, and radio icon explains the philosophy that has kept his existence boredom-free since the age of 13 - the love of risk. An avid sports better and frequent card player, Lange believes that the true gambler gets high not from winning, but from the chaotic unknown of betting itself. He recounts some of his favorite moments, many of which haven't involved money at all. In this candid and entertaining memoir, he looks back at the times he's wagered the intangible and priceless things in life: his health, his career, and his relationships.
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who needs Artie (to read)
- By B. Wenners on 08-24-18
By: Artie Lange
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People I Want to Punch in the Throat
- Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges
- By: Jen Mann
- Narrated by: Jen Mann
- Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Jen Mann doesn't have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of moms' night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship, nothing's sacred or off-limits.
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Boring, not funny, and kind of mean
- By Jess on 11-22-19
By: Jen Mann
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I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends
- Confessions of a Reality Show Villain
- By: Courtney Robertson, Deborah Baer
- Narrated by: Courtney Robertson
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Complete with stories, tips, tricks, and advice from your favorite Bachelor alumni, and filled with all the juicy details Courtney fans and foes alike want to know, I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends is a must-listen for every member of Bachelor nation.
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I didn't come here to make friends
- By Carolyn on 06-10-15
By: Courtney Robertson, and others
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Is This Anything?
- By: Jerry Seinfeld
- Narrated by: Jerry Seinfeld
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a 21-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from 45 years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.”
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Joke, joke, joke. Boring, boring, boring.
- By ECMILLER on 10-11-20
By: Jerry Seinfeld
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Loudmouth
- Tales (and Fantasies) of Sports, Sex, and Salvation from Behind the Microphone
- By: Craig Carton
- Narrated by: Craig Carton
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In this debut, Carton invites the listener to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio's craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.
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Fun but too much about early life
- By Anthony A. Ciaccio on 07-13-13
By: Craig Carton
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The Filthy Truth
- By: Andrew Dice Clay, David Ritz
- Narrated by: Bruce Rubenstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In this unapologetic and uncensored autobiography, Andrew Dice Clay is ready to set the record straight. He was the eighties’ answer to Lenny Bruce, with material that stretched the boundaries of decency and good taste to their breaking point, and in turn became the most vilified stand-up comic of all time.
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The Diceman Returns!
- By Steven D. Sorrell on 03-26-15
By: Andrew Dice Clay, and others
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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Gummi Bears Should Not Be Organic
- And Other Opinions I Can't Back Up with Facts
- By: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Narrated by: Stefanie Wilder-Taylor
- Length: 4 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In this latest mommy audiobook from the popular blogger, author, and TV personality, Stefanie will share her secrets for achieving a balance in motherhood between being protective and caring and downright bats--t crazy. She'll debunk some of the looniest parenting myths and reinforce others; she'll describe how, through as simple a process as good old trial and error, she's learned to pick and choose what works for her and her family, and tune out the rest.
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
What listeners say about Everybody Is Awful
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- JK
- 10-10-20
15 Stars For The King Of Brutal Honesty!
Absolutely Hilarious! Absolutely Honest! Absolutely Brutal!!! Jim Florentine Takes Americas Social Media Obsession, sh!+s all over it and rubs their Nose In it! He takes People taking themselves too Seriously on Social Media, Seriously, but when they try way too hard to be "Funny, or Totes Cute, or the Goofy One in the crowd" He gets down right disgusted, as everyone should! Florentine knocks it's out of the park and his reading of the audio version is perfect! Get it now!
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- Azura S
- 12-13-18
Brutally Funny
I can see this upsetting a large number of children posing as adults but I thought it was laugh out loud funny. Jim tackles all the annoyances of modern life and then takes a metaphorical dump on them. I can't ask for more from a comedy recording than that. 100% recommended. As long as you like this kind of thing, if not, you'll hate it.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Gunboat
- 10-21-18
Florentine is at his best in this book.
Thanks, Jim. You put words to the thoughts I have had about so much of the BS that annoys me every day.
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- Beachy 131
- 12-30-18
I enjoy this audio book.
I don’t write to many reviews, but I gave Jim 5 stars. He cuts write to the chase, and tells it like it is. I enjoyed this audio book so much I listen to it straight to the end. I am a jersey guy like Jim, so I was able to relate to his experience.
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- Cody Douglas
- 04-11-18
Jim is great
Great book, and may I say that he is one of few who has observed Robins cans in the flesh.
Rock on Jim.
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2 people found this helpful
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- dereksemos
- 10-09-18
Compressed podcast material
I gave the overall rating 3 stars and the story 2 stars because the story of this book is nothing more than what I have already herd on Jim's podcast. The only thing he did not include in this book is a chapter on awful novelty license plates
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- James Scott
- 08-29-19
jim is the man
This book is like listening to a 7 hour version of his great podcast. he is amazing
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- Big Daddy
- 08-18-22
The credits are backwards
I found myself laughing very hard at spots. The entire book is very funny. If you like his podcast this book is perfect for you
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- Lisa C.
- 12-02-23
My Favorite Comedian's Book
Jim Florentine's early days before he became a Comedian are relatable to his loyal fans. His pranks at his brother Joe's Construction sites were gross, his rating of women's looks are crude, but that's his humor. He talked about his late parents with respect & he adores his 13 yr old son, Luke!
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- That_one_guy
- 12-29-18
Awesome book
I really liked this book being a fan of Jim's this book did not disappoint as I figured funny stories and hijinks exactly what you think you will get from Jim.
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2 people found this helpful