Foreverland
On the Divine Tedium of Marriage
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Narrated by:
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Heather Havrilesky
About this listen
“Full of razor-sharp, big-hearted wisdom…. Couples should read this book aloud to each other instead of writing vows. People who never want to get married should read this book anyway.” —Leslie Jamison
An illuminating, poignant, and savagely funny examination of modern marriage from Ask Polly advice columnist Heather Havrilesky
If falling in love is the peak of human experience, then marriage is the slow descent down that mountain, on a trail built from conflict, compromise, and nagging doubts. Considering the limited economic advantages to marriage, the deluge of other mate options a swipe away, and the fact that almost half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce anyway, why do so many of us still chain ourselves to one human being for life?
In Foreverland, Heather Havrilesky illustrates the delights, aggravations, and sublime calamities of her marriage over the span of fifteen years, charting an unpredictable course from meeting her one true love to slowly learning just how much energy is required to keep that love aflame. This refreshingly honest portrait of a marriage reveals that our relationships are not simply “happy” or “unhappy,” but something much murkier—at once unsavory, taxing, and deeply satisfying. With tales of fumbled proposals, harrowing suburban migrations, external temptations, and the bewildering insults of growing older, Foreverland is a work of rare candor and insight. Havrilesky traces a path from daydreaming about forever for the first time to understanding what a tedious, glorious drag forever can be.
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If It's Not One Thing, It's Your Mother
- By: Julia Sweeney
- Narrated by: Julia Sweeney
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Since her time on Saturday Night Live, where she created the infamous androgynous character "Pat", Julia Sweeney has gone on to establish herself as a witty, captivating performer of one-woman shows, like God Said Ha!, In the Family Way, and Letting Go of God. She gave a TED talk sharing how she explained the birds and the bees to her eight-year-old daughter, Mulan, which ignited an incredible response. Now, when it comes to talking about motherhood, people want to hear what Julia has to say.
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I Love Julia Sweeney
- By Lisa on 04-05-13
By: Julia Sweeney
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The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl
- Adventures in Life and Love in the Heart of Dixie
- By: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Narrated by: Jaime Primak Sullivan
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Jaime Primak Sullivan, a Jersey-bred, tough-as-nails PR maven - and unlikely transplant in an upscale suburb of Birmingham, Alabama - has spent her entire life crossing the line: whether she's pushing the boundaries of what proper Southern ladies consider to be "polite behavior" or literally traversing the Mason-Dixon line in the name of love. She isn't afraid to say what everyone is thinking when it comes to love, sex, friendship, and many other topics that are all too often sugar-coated in polite Southern company.
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Awesome book
- By Gwendolyn on 09-23-16
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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All of This
- A Memoir of Death and Desire
- By: Rebecca Woolf
- Narrated by: Rebecca Woolf
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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After years of struggling in a tumultuous marriage, writer Rebecca Woolf was finally ready to leave her husband. Two weeks after telling him she wanted a divorce, he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. Four months later, at the age of forty-four, he died. In All of This, Woolf chronicles the months before her husband’s death—and her rebirth after he was gone. With rigorous honesty and incredible awareness, she reflects on the end of her marriage: how her husband’s illness finally gave her the space to make peace with his humanity and her own.
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excellentt!
- By S. DAWN HANSCOM on 11-26-22
By: Rebecca Woolf
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
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A Necessary End: A Novel
- By: Holly Brown
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam, James Patrick Cronin
- Length: 12 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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At nineteen Leah bears a remarkable resemblance to the young woman Adrienne once was. Which is why Adrienne knows the baby Leah is carrying is meant to be hers. But Leah's got ideas of her own: Her baby's going to get a life in California; why shouldn't she? All she wants is to live in Adrienne's house for a year after the baby's born and get a fresh start. It seems like a small price for Adrienne to pay to get their baby. And with Gabe suddenly onboard, what could possibly go wrong?
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Long time audible listener.
- By Cherith DuBois on 07-11-15
By: Holly Brown
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I Said Yes
- My Story of Heartbreak, Redemption, and True Love
- By: Emily Maynard Johnson
- Narrated by: Hayley Cresswell
- Length: 6 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions know Emily Maynard Johnson from her unprecedented double appearances on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Millions also know that neither of the relationships from those shows lasted much longer than a commercial break. Overcome with embarrassment following her nationally televised failures at romance, Emily finally committed her heart to the only one she knew would never leave her empty and alone. Abandoning her desire to be chosen by men and finding peace in the fact that she was already chosen by God, Emily found the joy she had been looking for in serving God.
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Interesting read for bachelor/bachelorette fans
- By Melanie on 03-31-16
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Instant Mom
- By: Nia Vardalos
- Narrated by: Nia Vardalos
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Some families are created in different ways but are still, in every way, a family. Writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding Nia Vardalos firmly believed she was supposed to be a mom, but Mother Nature and modern medicine had put her in a headlock. So she made a choice that shocked friends, family, and even herself: with only 14 hours' notice, she adopted a preschooler.
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Witty and Heartfelt
- By Beth M. Honeycutt on 07-03-24
By: Nia Vardalos
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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The Unspeakable
- And Other Subjects of Discussion
- By: Meghan Daum
- Narrated by: Meghan Daum
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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It's a report tempered by hard times. In "Matricide", Daum unflinchingly describes a parent's death and the uncomfortable emotions it provokes; and in "Diary of a Coma" she relates her own journey to the twilight of the mind. But Daum also operates in a comic register. With perfect precision, she reveals the absurdities of the marriage-industrial complex, of the New Age dating market, and of the peculiar habits of the young and digital.
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Complaining about her dead mom.
- By Erik Hermansen on 11-23-14
By: Meghan Daum
What listeners say about Foreverland
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Erin Lancaster
- 09-29-22
Wish there were more books like this about marriage
I laughed, I cried. Wish there were more books like this about marriage. Full of many fun, interesting, relatable anecdotes. Loved the narration. Poetic, witty, sharp & beautifully written.
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- Andrew
- 06-24-22
Caustic first third turns into a much better book later
The author tries too hard to shock in the beginning and to impress upon us how smart and witty and sarcastic and obnoxious she is. Her descriptions of her husband are simply uncalled for. I almost stopped reading the book because of that. But I’m glad I didn’t as the last 2/3 were more poignant, more funny, and more descriptive of what real life and real marriage are like.
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- Christina Rentz
- 02-24-22
True romance.
The most romantic book since “My Life in Paris!” So funny and relatable and clearheaded.
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2 people found this helpful
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- ft
- 03-01-22
When Me Me Me is about you
Why read about somebody else’s marriage and life experiences? After all, we have pretty individualized experiences of their own. But Heather Halvrilesky is always funny and cynical in that Gen X way that reminds me somewhere out there, are still people my own age, shaped by similar cultural forces, and still living the life they have while they can. Without spoiling too much I hope, I’m most grateful for the part about facing the possibility of serios illness ON TOP of COVID and everything else that would be there anyway. As Mitch Hedberg would say “that’s a triple whammy”. Man was I there, and reading this book was like finding a little message in a bottle to remind me I’m not so alone on this crazy train.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Manny
- 06-23-22
Seeking High-Strung Perfectionist With Tentacles
Dear Heather - I fell in love with your book because I fell in love with you. Your writing made you feel at once familiar and mysterious, super bright and definitely trouble, ill-tempered and hot. I hate to ruin the brilliant conclusion of your brilliant tome - and it really IS - but forget about Bill and run away with me. Just trust me: you won’t care that I’m a generation older or on crutches because we share the same sense of humor, sense of longing, itch for sexiness, itch from claustrophobia - and just desire for desire simply for desire’s sake. On the other hand, maybe we’d best enjoy each other from a safe distance - at least, that’s my wife’s opinion. Just know that Foreverland will always be one of my favorite books and that you will be on my mind, forcing quotes out of my face almost on a daily basis because you really got love, life and relationships right - for me anyway, because we’re soulmates. I’m almost sure of it. But if we’re not, can we fool around anyway?! -Love, A Real Fan
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- Daniel Ducat
- 02-15-22
Funny and Fair
So - I picked up this book after reading a critical review by Walter Kirn in NYT. Mr. Kirn's take is basically that Heather Havrilesky is mean-spirited, short on insight, and borderline abusive to her ever-suffering husband. Yet, the snippets of prose quoted in his review were well-written and amusing. Plus, there was something about Mr. Kirn's review that didn't ring true.
So I tried it out anyway!
Havrilesky does indeed have a caustic sense of humor and is to be found gleefully ripping into the subject of her attention on the majority of the pages of this book. This biting humor is extra hilarious when Havrilesky levels her scope at some subject that usually gets a free pass (e.g., the divine tedium of most wedding ceremonies). Yet, the no-holds-barred humor can also leave you squirming - half laughing, half discomfited - when a subject gets a bit too close to home.
Havrilesky writes with the voice of the id - that invisible petulant critic in the back of your head. You know, that internal Twitter feed that is mostly filled with snark and schadenfreude (just like your real one!) I don't always love that brand of relentless pessimism as humor, but Havrilesky manages to keep it fresh and funny. Because she keeps this tone throughout the book, you also know that it is mostly tongue-in-cheek.
Also like real life, the target for Havrilesky's nastiest inner monologs is herself. She writes of her many imperfections, warts, and outright flaws on a variety of subjects. It is this relentless tirade against herself that frees her up to be more critical with other subjects and still retain our sympathy: she is very self-aware of her own shortcomings and is therefore aware that her discontent with other people/places is in part a reflection of her own dis-ease. Havrilesky is well aware she contributes in equal measure to the negative twists in her relationship.
Which leaves me a little confused at the many readers (such as NYT's Mr. Kirn's) who seem to regard Bill as a poor, beleaguered, and put-upon man. Sure, Havrilesky does have some choice analogies that paint him in an unflattering light (ala "heap of laundry: smelly, inert, useless, almost sentient but not quite”), but they are hardly more critical than the comments she directs to herself ("about as appealing a mate as Jabba the Hutt"). Indeed, the narrative appears to be far more critical of her own flaws - while also going out of its way to circle back and extoll Bill's virtues after any less flattering statements. Herein is the most interesting element of Havrilesky's style: the self-contradictions that mirror our own vacillating feelings for our romantic partners.
To me, the prose is innovative in the way that it takes us along for the emotional ups and downs in a more visceral way. Sure, Havrilesky could just digest it down to the clinical summary "sometimes I love Bill, sometimes I hate him" like an armchair psychologist. But the style of using hyperbolic, passionate, and often contradictory statements brings the reader along for that familiar whiplash. Sometimes you feel your mate is a saint for putting up with the sad sack of flesh you call yourself, and sometimes their most minor infraction pushes you into a tailspin of pent up rage - why have you put up with their crap for this long anyway?!?
That oscillating and erratic pendulum of passion is a common thread in any of my relationships that have lasted for any serious length. I'd like to hope that I've gotten better at quickly recognizing and self-correcting when my positive feelings precipitously flip on my partner. But I'm deluding myself if I try to pretend I have all of my ungenerous thoughts under firm control. I'd also be deluding myself if I thought I was even half as good as Havrilesky at admitting it when my irritation at my partner is mostly irritation at the reflection of myself that see off them. I didn't personally find it difficult to read Havrilesky's depiction of Bill, even when she was writing about her least generous thoughts of him. But it was a bit difficult to see some element of myself in some of those negative depictions of herself or her husband. I think that discomfort is what can make parts of this book hard to read. Or potentially enlightening.
All of which is to say that it's my opinion that Mr. Kirn owes Havrilesky an apology. (He might owe his two former wives and his current wife some apologies too, but that's just MY snarky critic talking.) The book is funny, insightful, and Bill is lucky to be both loved and hated by his talented wife (though its clear that Havrilesky does not have these feelings in equal measure).
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6 people found this helpful
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- ashley eslinger
- 06-02-24
Rooted in Reality
Easy & engaging listen. I laughed a lot. I cried at the end. In marriage, we can all be Heather or Bill at times. Great read—rooted in the realities of relationships and human complexity.
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- Patty D
- 04-24-23
Whiny book
I had to stop, and I can count on one hand the number of books I did not finish. I did not feel any empathy at all with this author.
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- Jude
- 02-09-22
Marriage isn’t for everyone
I read a section of this book in The Atlantic and decided to give it a go. At first I thought the way she was describing love and marriage with an initial bunch of exaggerated quips at the expense of men, because same. But then it became so frequent and long lasting that I lost my sympathy. If you view your partner as a “piece of oversized luggage” and have expectations so high that only your imagined and idealized self can fulfill them, don’t get married. Or frankly be in a relationship. The quips became toxic quickly. I realize that is the point, but it felt unnecessarily extreme. If you read this book and relate, please spend some time reflecting
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2 people found this helpful
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- HotMomma07
- 05-02-22
I couldn’t get past the second chapter
The sing songy, metaphor filled timbre of this story is very grating on the ears. I feel like I’m reading something written by a junior high student. It’s full of vitriol for her futre husband and hatred of her self.
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