
Us
Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship
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Narrated by:
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Terrence Real
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Bruce Springsteen
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By:
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Terrence Real
About this listen
Stop working on yourself as an individual and start working on your relationship as a couple, with the help of the renowned family therapist and bestselling author of The New Rules of Marriage
“This book is a road map for all of us who seek true intimacy.”—GWYNETH PALTROW, founder and CEO of goop
Not much is harder than figuring out how to love your partner in all their messy humanness—and there’s also not much that’s more important.
At a time when toxic individualism is rending our society at every level, bestselling author and renowned marriage counselor Terrence Real sees how it poisons intimate relationships in his therapy practice, where he works with couples on the brink of disaster. The good news: Warmer, closer, more passionate relationships are possible if you have the right tools.
In his transformative new book Us, Real brilliantly observes how our winner-takes-all culture infiltrates families with devastating results: repetitive fights that go nowhere, or a distant relationship in which partners end up living “alone together.” With deft insight, humor, and charm, Real guides you to transform your relationship into one that’s based on compassion, collaboration, and closeness.
Us is a groundbreaking guide to a new science-backed skillset—one that will allow you to get past your knee-jerk reactions and tap into your wiser, more collaborative self. With a novelist’s flair, Real shares the stories of couples whose relationships have been saved by these skills and pans out to the culture that reinforces our dysfunction. If you and your partner are backed into separate corners of “you” and “me,” this book will show the way back to “us.” With Us, your true relationship can begin.
*Includes a downloadable PDF of charts and diagrams from the book
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2022 Terrence Real (P)2022 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“It’s cliche to say Dr. Terry Real’s new book, Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, changed the way I view every relationship in my life. But it’s true.”—Katie Couric Media
“[An] enveloping and insightful book . . . Real is a natural storyteller, pointed, jovial, and funny. If you’re struggling in your relationship and are open to hard truths, delivered with compassion and zero wasted time, Real is the ticket.”—Esquire (Best Wellness Books)
“Love has the power to hurt but it also has the power to heal, and Terry Real shows us how in this revolutionary guide to happy, thriving couplehood. Chock-full of wisdom, research, and innovative teachings, Us is the book every human should read in order to truly understand not just their partners, but themselves.”—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
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Story
Heralded by the New York Times and Time as the couples therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world. In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond.
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No PDFs
- By Michelle Johann on 09-11-20
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The Courage to Raise Good Men
- You Don't Have to Sever the Bond with Your Son to Help Him Become a Man
- By: Olga Silverstein, Beth Rashbaum
- Narrated by: Olga Silverstein
- Length: 2 hrs and 56 mins
- Abridged
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Silverstein, one of the founding members of the Ackerman Institute for Family Therapy, calls for mothers and fathers alike to refuse to sanction the emotional shutdown we traditionally demand of boys, thus enabling sons to grow up to be not only strong men but whole people.
By: Olga Silverstein, and others
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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, Revised Edition
- Relationship Repair in a Flash
- By: Nancy Dreyfus PsyD
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 5 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Talk to Me like I'm Someone You Love is a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing. This revised edition features two new sections - one on making love and another on deepening trust - containing more than 25 new "flash cards for real life", statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love but for which we can't find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them.
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Is there a companion PDF with the flashcards one could print?
- By Brandy Fagan on 09-13-22
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Secure Love
- Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime
- By: Julie Menanno
- Narrated by: Julie Menanno
- Length: 10 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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What does a healthy relationship look like? A good question, in theory, but couple’s therapist Julie Menanno wants you to consider: what does a securely attached relationship feel like? The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, an “incredibly wise and helpful guide” (Jen Sincero, New York Times bestselling author of You Are a Badass) to understanding secure attachment in adult relationships.
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I can fix myself.
- By Shirley on 09-27-24
By: Julie Menanno
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Baby Bomb
- A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents
- By: Kara Hoppe MFT, Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT, Terry Real - foreword
- Narrated by: Samantha Desz
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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A baby is a blessing - and also a completely life-altering event. Written by a psychologist and relationship expert, Baby Bomb offers powerful tools based in psychology and neurobiology to help you and your partner co-parent and co-partner as a supportive team - while also cultivating mad love for each other!
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unrealistic
- By Emily on 02-12-24
By: Kara Hoppe MFT, and others
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert, Revised and Updated
- By: John M. Gottman PhD, Nan Silver
- Narrated by: Eric Michael Summerer
- Length: 10 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages.
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not a good audiobook
- By jynlyn on 09-02-20
By: John M. Gottman PhD, and others
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Fight Right
- How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection
- By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, John Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: Roy Worley, Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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How we fight predicts the future of our relationships. Most of us blunder into conflict without knowing what we are really fighting about and then quickly become overwhelmed by physiological responses we can’t control and emotions we don’t anticipate. The truth is the happiest and most successful couples fight—all the time. Conflict is human, and necessary.
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Excellent summary of their research
- By Robert B. Davis on 02-28-24
By: Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD, and others
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The Love Prescription
- Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy
- By: John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin, Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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What makes love last? Why does one couple stay together forever, while another falls apart? And most importantly, is there a scientific formula for love? Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman are the world’s leading relationship scientists. For the past forty years, they have been studying love. They’ve gathered data on over three thousand couples, looking at everything from their body language to the way they converse to their stress hormone levels. Their goal: to identify the building blocks of love.
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Helpful for neurotypicals
- By Audrey4791 on 01-19-23
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
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You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
- Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships
- By: Richard Schwartz PhD
- Narrated by: Martin LaGrande, Mike Berlak
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Do loving relationships end because couples lack communication skills, struggle to empathize, and fail to accommodate each other’s needs? That’s a common belief within and outside of the therapeutic world… but what if it’s all wrong? In You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For, Dr. Richard Schwartz, the celebrated founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, offers a new way—a path toward courageous love that replaces the striving, dependent, and disconnected approach to solving relationship challenges.
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The sexism ruins it
- By Equine7 on 08-27-23
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Help for High-Conflict Couples
- Using Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Science of Attachment to Build Lasting Connection
- By: Jennine Estes Powell LMFT, Jacqueline Wielick LMFT
- Narrated by: Moniqua Plante
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Based in the revolutionary science of attachment theory and evidence-based emotionally focused therapy (EFT), this is an effective, research-based road map for helping high-conflict couples break free from painful and destructive habits. With this book, you'll uncover the root cause of your conflicts-both as individuals and as a couple. You'll also find simple strategies for creating an emotionally secure environment, as well as tips for managing triggers, de-escalating arguments, and cultivating a real and lasting connection.
By: Jennine Estes Powell LMFT, and others
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Anxiously Attached
- Becoming More Secure in Life and Love
- By: Jessica Baum LMHC
- Narrated by: Jessica Baum LMHC
- Length: 9 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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An estimated 47 million Americans identify as having an anxious attachment style, which can make being in relationships turbulent and emotionally taxing for them. According to groundbreaking research in the field of attachment, anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviors that get in the way of finding and sustaining love.
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So slow
- By RSC on 04-20-23
Us by Terry Real
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Amazing, beautiful and so useful. Mind blowing!
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Excellent
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Could Not Reccomend More
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Incredible
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Best book on relationships I’ve ever read.
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Insightful
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US from Terry Reel has profoundly changed my world
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should be mandatory to read this
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Landmark
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