
Quietly Hostile
Essays
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Narrated by:
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Samantha Irby
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By:
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Samantha Irby
About this listen
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A GLAMOUR BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR • A hilarious new essay collection from Samantha Irby "engages readers with her characteristic combination of laugh-out-loud moments, heartfelt passages and plenty of awkward experiences.... Quietly Hostile will delight established fans and newcomers alike (Parade).
“Brilliant and one of the funniest people I’ve ever read.” —Roxane Gay • "The king of sparkling misanthropy and tender, loving dread." —Jia Tolentin
"Absolutely hilarious.... If you are feeling down, or you feel like you haven't read anything you've loved in a long time, all you need is Samantha Irby.... She will make you laugh on every page." —Emma Straub, bestselling author of This Time Tomorrow, on The Today Show
Samantha Irby’s career has taken her to new heights. She dodges calls from Hollywood and flop sweats on the red carpet at premieres (well, one premiere). But nothing is ever as it seems online, where she can crop out all the ugly parts.
Irby got a lot of weird emails about Carrie Bradshaw, and not only is there diarrhea to avoid, but now—anaphylactic shock. She is turned away from restaurants for being inappropriately dressed and looks for the best ways to cope, i.e., reveling in the offerings of QVC and adopting a deranged pandemic dog. Quietly Hostile makes light as Irby takes us on another outrageously funny tour of all the gory details that make up the true portrait of a life behind the screenshotted depression memes. Relatable, poignant, and uproarious, once again, Irby is the tonic we all need to get by.
A BEST BOOK from Vogue, Esquire, PopSugar, Glamour, The Skimm, and more
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Critic reviews
A MOST ANTICIPATED BOOK from: TIME Magazine, The New York Times, Elle Magazine, Oprah Daily, TODAY, Harper’s Bazaar, Lit Hub, USA Today, Entertainment Weekly, Parade, Zibby Mag, Sunset, Good Housekeeping, San Francisco Chronicle, The Millions, Electric Lit, Publishers Weekly, BookRiot, Autostraddle, The Week, She Reads, and more
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“Queen of the laugh-out-loud hot take . . . Perfect for a beach day [and] takes on the real issues: poop, public defecation, intimidating teens and the ‘Lane Bryant that’s now a Chipotle in downtown Evanston.’” —The Chicago Tribune
“No one describes the human body quite like Irby. She’s a poet of embarrassment: Her confessional style is frank and unashamed. . . . her writing about the great transition from being ‘young and lubricated’ to middle-aged is reliably moving in its own way, and consistently hilarious.” —The Atlantic
“The Midwest’s most loveable misanthrope, triumphantly returns. . . . Reliably and painfully funny. . . . Irby has the remarkable ability to make the utterly banal, and even the tragic, uproariously entertaining. . . . Irby simply doesn’t miss.” —Chicago Reader
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By: Laurie Notaro
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I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
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Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Face It
- By: Georgette Kaplan
- Narrated by: Anastasia Watley
- Length: 8 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In college, Elizabeth Smile shared a magical tryst with her roommate, Michelle Harlow. She had no idea the night would leave Elizabeth pining after her for the next ten years. Now Michelle is back with a strange offer: Will she pretend to be Michelle's lesbian lover to beat Michelle's cheating husband?
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Give it a chance—brilliant!
- By Meredith on 01-22-23
By: Georgette Kaplan
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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White Girl Problems
- By: Babe Walker
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
- And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
- By: Tara Schuster
- Narrated by: Tara Schuster
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love".
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster
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A Very Punchable Face
- A Memoir
- By: Colin Jost
- Narrated by: Colin Jost
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
If there’s one trait that makes someone well-suited to comedy, it’s being able to take a punch - metaphorically and, occasionally, physically. Told with a healthy dose of self-deprecation, A Very Punchable Face reveals the brilliant mind behind some of the dumbest sketches on television, and lays bare the heart and humor of a hardworking guy - with a face you can’t help but want to punch.
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Amazing
- By Erin E. Kace on 07-27-20
By: Colin Jost
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Agorafabulous!
- Dispatches From My Bedroom
- By: Sara Benincasa
- Narrated by: Sara Benincasa
- Length: 7 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
One of the funniest and most poignant books ever written about a mental illness, Agorafabulous! is a hilarious, raw, and unforgettable account of how a terrified young woman, literally trapped by her own imagination, evolved into a (relatively) high-functioning professional smartass. Down to earth and seriously funny, Benincasa's no-holds-barred revelations offer listeners the politically incorrect hilarity they heartily crave, yet is so often missing from your typical, weepy, and redemptive personal memoir.
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More Fun than a Good Cry in a Bathroom Stall
- By Susie on 03-05-15
By: Sara Benincasa
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I Can Barely Take Care of Myself
- Tales from a Happy Life Without Kids
- By: Jen Kirkman
- Narrated by: Jen Kirkman
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
"You'll change your mind." That's what everyone says to Jen Kirkman - and countless women like her - when she confesses she doesn't plan to have children. But you know what? It's hard enough to be an adult. You have to dress yourself and pay bills and remember to buy birthday gifts. You have to drive and get annual physicals and tip for good service. Some adults take on the added burden of caring for a tiny human being with no language skills or bladder control.
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Funny. Not fall down laughing funny, but funny
- By david on 05-22-13
By: Jen Kirkman
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self
- By: Danielle Evans
- Narrated by: Daniel Deadwyler, Jeanette Illidge, Je Nie Fleming, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Striking in their emotional immediacy, the stories in Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self are based in a world where inequality is reality but where the insecurities of adolescence and young adulthood, and the tensions within family and the community, are sometimes the biggest complicating forces in one's sense of identity and the choices one makes.
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Thought provoking
- By Amazon Customer on 01-16-25
By: Danielle Evans
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Fat Girl Walking
- Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin...Every Inch of It
- By: Brittany Gibbons
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Fat Girl Walking is a collection of stories from my life, my thoughts about the issues that I have faced as a woman, wife, mom, daughter, daughter-in-law, and Internet personality in regards to my weight. I have tried to be as honest as I possibly could - apologies in advance to my husband and parents, but hopefully any discomfort you feel is quickly replaced by laughter.
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One Woman's Body; One Woman's Story
- By Meghan Matt on 06-03-15
By: Brittany Gibbons
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Hyena
- By: Jude Angelini
- Narrated by: Jude Angelini
- Length: 3 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Hyena is a collection of autobiographical stories by Jude Angelini, which takes the listener on his journey of heartbreak, depravity, and hilarity, deftly moving between his adult life and his childhood growing up in a factory town outside of Detroit. Each story is told with brutal honesty yet maintains a gallows humor that will leave you shaking your head in disbelief.
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Awesome book, would steal it
- By Dylan S on 09-20-17
By: Jude Angelini
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In 1984, Michael Vickers took charge of the CIA’s secret war against the Soviets in Afghanistan. After inheriting a strategy aimed at imposing costs on the Soviets for their invasion and occupation of Afghanistan, Vickers transformed the covert campaign into an all-out effort to help the Afghan resistance win their war. More than any other American, he was responsible for the outcome in Afghanistan that led to the end of the Cold War. In By All Means Available, Vickers recounts his remarkable career.
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Buy the paper copy
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Bats can hear shapes, plants can eat light, and bees can dance maps. When his life took him to a painfully dark place, the poet behind The CryptoNaturalist, Jarod K. Anderson, found comfort and redemption in these facts and the shift in perspective that comes from paying a new kind of attention to nature. Something in the Woods Loves You tells the story of the darkest stretch of a young person’s life, and how deliberate and meditative encounters with plants and animals helped him see the light at every turn.
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Great book, great narrator
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Horse Barbie
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As a young femme in 1990s Manila, Geena Rocero heard, “Bakla, bakla!,” a taunt aimed at her feminine sway, whenever she left the tiny universe of her eskinita. Eventually, she found her place in trans pageants, the Philippines’ informal national sport. When her competitors mocked her as a “horse Barbie” due to her statuesque physique, tumbling hair, long neck, and dark skin, she leaned into the epithet. By seventeen, she was the Philippines’ highest-earning trans pageant queen.
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Heart felt narration by author. Trail blazer woman!
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The Good Virus
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- Narrated by: Ben Deery
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At every moment, within our bodies and all around us, trillions of microscopic combatants are waging a war that shapes our health and life on Earth. Countless times per second, viruses known as phages attack and destroy bacteria while leaving all other life forms, including us, unscathed. Vastly outnumbering the viruses that do us harm, phages power ecosystems, drive evolutionary innovation, and harbor a remarkable capacity to heal life-threatening infections when conventional antibiotics fail. Yet most of us have never heard of them, thinking of viruses only as enemies to be feared.
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No brainer
- By Paul on 10-11-23
By: Tom Ireland
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- Poison Ivy Tx
- 06-21-23
I’m inviting you to my party anyway….
I love everything she puts out. The way she organizes the topics and her delivery of content is spot on. Shes open and honest, never shying away from the real issues in life- many of which we have in common. She manages to make these things funny for a change and lighten the load. Not to mention her wit and perspective on so many random things that I otherwise wouldn’t have thought about at all- Samantha Irby works her magic, making the most mundane topic into a complete riot. Shes the best!
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- Kasey
- 05-23-23
Hilarious and relatable as always!
I had to play the first few minutes for several friends. SO funny and feels like hanging with your close pal.
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- Kindle Customer
- 04-30-24
Hilarious! And I can’t wait to listen to more!
Samantha Irby has been floating around my Audible for years. I think I have all her books in my wishlist. But for some reason I’ve never gotten around to actually listening to one. I am a big fan of this humorous essays and this one was fantastic. I love her descriptions of everything, and I especially love her, going through and talking about how she would improve so many episodes of the original sex and the city. If you own this book, the chapter on teenager should be played out loud for any human who’s ever been on a planet with a teenager. Definitely going to listen to more of her. Don’t know if I missed anything by starting with her most recent book, but I kind of doubt it.
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- Amanda
- 07-08-23
Narration
She always kills. I wish she narrated everything on my audible queue. Ready for the next book of essays.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-22-23
Another great one!
When’s the next book? I already am sad that I’ve finished this one. Thanks Sam for another hilarious book.
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-24-23
Hilariously brilliant!
Quickest audiobook I have ever listened to. Samantha Irby is hilarious, relatable, and raw. One million stars.
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- Gage VanderMeer
- 06-24-23
Some funny stories
But others…not. Not into play by plays of tv shows that were never made or lists of the contents of a fridge. I wanted to like it more than I did.
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- Danielle C.
- 05-20-23
Nooooo it's over already! Encore!
Of course this book is great: hilarious, relatable, touching, shocking, and well done. I wish Sam Irby and I could hang out and be friends.
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- M
- 06-13-23
Another Banger by the Funniest Woman Alive
I hate when her books end! Thank you Samantha for another awesome listen you are hilarious and so so relatable 💜🌈
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- Courtney Grigsby
- 06-14-23
Samantha Irby NEVER disappoints
Samantha never misses. Per the usual this books was great. I would (and do) recommend to anyone who will listen.
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