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Girlfriend on Mars
- A Novel
- Narrated by: Landon Doak, Vanessa Matsui
- Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins
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Publisher's summary
A funny, poignant, and thrilling debut novel that skewers billionaire-funded space travel in a love story of interplanetary proportions.
Amber Kivinen is moving to Mars. Or at least, she will be if she wins a chance to join MarsNow. She and 23 reality TV contestants from around the world—including attractive Israeli soldier Adam, endearing fellow Canadian Pichu, and an assortment of science nerds and wannabe influencers—are competing for two seats on the first human-led mission to Mars, sponsored by billionaire Geoff Task.
Meanwhile Kevin, Amber’s boyfriend of 14 years, was content going nowhere until Amber left him—and their hydroponic weed business—behind. As he tends to (and smokes) the plants growing in their absurdly overpriced Vancouver basement apartment, Kevin tunes in to find out why the love of his life is so determined to leave the planet with somebody else. On screen, Amber competes in globe-trotting, Survivor-meets-Star Trek challenges and seems like she might be falling for Adam. But is that real, or is it just a tactic to keep from being voted off? And since the technology to come home doesn’t exist yet, would Amber really leave everything behind to be a billionaire’s Martian guinea pig? Sure, the rainforest is burning, Geoff Task has bought New Zealand, and Kevin might be a little depressed, but isn’t there some hope left for life on Earth?
An audacious debut from a “a dazzlingly smart and strikingly original writer” (Molly Antopol), Girlfriend on Mars is at once a satirical indictment of our pursuit of fame and wealth amid environmental crisis and an exploration of humanity’s deepest longing, greatest quest, and most enduring cliché: love.
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Sherry Potter’s only got one spell: portkey
- By aaron gilbert on 11-02-20
By: Drew Magary
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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The Opposite of Loneliness
- Essays and Stories
- By: Marina Keegan
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 5 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Marina Keegan's star was on the rise when she graduated magna cum laude from Yale in May 2012. She had a play that was to be produced at the New York International Fringe Festival and a job waiting for her at the New Yorker. Tragically, five days after graduation, Marina died in a car crash. Even though she was just 22 when she died, Marina left behind a rich, expansive trove of prose that, like her title essay, captures the hope, uncertainty, and possibility of her generation.
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Probably buy the book too.
- By Soupergirl on 09-14-15
By: Marina Keegan
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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I'm the One That I Want
- By: Margaret Cho
- Narrated by: Margaret Cho
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Abridged
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I'm the One That I Want, based on her show of the same name, is filled with dead-on insights about the experience of being a woman with attitude, of flowing with the highs and lows of life, and of creating one's own identity and acceptance. It is every bit as hilarious, shocking, and irreverent as she is.
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Hilarious and deeply engrossing
- By Ling on 04-10-03
By: Margaret Cho
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Every Anxious Wave
- By: Mo Daviau
- Narrated by: Zach Villa
- Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Why would we need music if our lives were exactly as we wanted them to be? Karl Bender is a quiet guy who lives in three places: his bar, his apartment, and the cheap Mediterranean place on the corner that keeps him well fed with his daily portion of hummus and chicken shwarma. But that's all about to change. When he stumbles upon a time-traveling wormhole, Karl develops a business selling access to people who want to go back in time to hear their favorite bands.
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Frustrating
- By Brit N Jonn Designs on 03-31-16
By: Mo Daviau
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Your Voice in My Head
- A Memoir
- By: Emma Forrest
- Narrated by: Emma Forrest
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Emma Forrest, a British journalist, was just 22 and living the fast life in New York City when she realized that her quirks had gone beyond eccentricity. In a cycle of loneliness, damaging relationships, and destructive behavior, she found herself in the chair of a slim, balding, and effortlessly optimistic psychiatrist--a man whose wisdom and humanity would wrench her from the dangerous tide after she tried to end her life.
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Great, quick read
- By Amazon Customer on 02-12-21
By: Emma Forrest
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Lifted by the Great Nothing
- By: Karim Dimechkie
- Narrated by: Neil Shah
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Max doesn't remember his mother, who was murdered by burglars before they emigrated from Beirut to New Jersey. He lives with his father, Rasheed, who is enamored of his concept of American culture - baseball and barbeques - and tries to shed his Lebanese heritage completely.
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Excellent
- By Cheyenne on 06-13-15
By: Karim Dimechkie
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Domestic Violets
- A Novel
- By: Matthew Norman
- Narrated by: Todd McLaren
- Length: 11 hrs
- Unabridged
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Tom Violet always thought that by the time he turned 35, he’d have everything going for him. Fame. Fortune. A beautiful wife. A satisfying career as a successful novelist. A happy dog to greet him at the end of the day. The reality, though, is far different. He’s got a wife, but their problems are bigger than he can even imagine. And he’s written a novel, but the manuscript he’s slaved over for years is currently hidden in his desk drawer while his father, an actual famous writer, just won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. His career, such that it is, involves mind-numbing corporate buzzwords....
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What a rollicking ride!
- By Pamela Harvey on 08-13-11
By: Matthew Norman
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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Tell Me Everything
- A Novel
- By: Cambria Brockman
- Narrated by: Ariadne Meyers
- Length: 12 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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In her first weeks at Hawthorne College, Malin is swept up into a tight-knit circle that will stick together through all four years. There’s Gemma, an insecure theater major from London; John, a tall, handsome, wealthy New Englander; Max, John’s cousin, a shy pre-med major; Khaled, a wisecracking prince from Abu Dhabi; and Ruby, a beautiful art history major. But Malin isn’t like the rest of her friends. She’s an expert at hiding her troubled past - all while using her extraordinary insight to detect their deepest vulnerabilities and weaknesses.
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beware
- By keith y. on 10-03-19
By: Cambria Brockman
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Fault Lines
- A Novel
- By: Emily Itami
- Narrated by: Lydia Wilson
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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Mizuki is a Japanese housewife. She has a hardworking husband, two adorable children, and a beautiful Tokyo apartment. It’s everything a woman could want, yet sometimes she wonders whether she would rather throw herself off the high-rise balcony than spend another evening not talking to her husband and hanging up laundry.
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Confused by the choice of narrator
- By Bri T. on 02-13-22
By: Emily Itami
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Whatever It Takes
- Bad Reputation, Book 1
- By: Krista Ritchie, Becca Ritchie
- Narrated by: Cooper North, Charlotte North
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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Call me what you want: Bad Boy Next Door. Trouble. That Kid Who Can’t Do Anything Right. When Willow moves into my neighborhood, nothing should have happened. She’s geeky. Shy. A true wallflower. Willow is a good girl. Too good for me. And how the hell was I supposed to know that she’s related to Loren Hale - yeah, that douchebag celebrity that lives on my street. The same guy I've been pranking by spray painting vulgar words on his mailbox and worse. Much worse. I'm cursed. Simple as that. People who are cursed break everything they touch. And yet...I still want to touch her.
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For the young adult market.
- By Pix on 07-02-20
By: Krista Ritchie, and others
What listeners say about Girlfriend on Mars
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Carol
- 10-21-23
Don't waste a credit
This story had potential and good narrators, but failed to deliver. I got it as a daily deal, thank heavens. Definitely don't waste a credit.
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- Cynthia Martin
- 11-06-23
Held my attention - barely
Never got to the aha moment. Still wondering what the point was. Narration was great.
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- Steven P. Hammond
- 10-21-23
Doesn’t know what it wants to be
I took a chance on this book and was disappointed. It tries to be a cautionary tale and a romcom with sci-fi elements. It swings wildly in tone and pacing, then rushes through the third act. Definitely not worth the time to listen.
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- hanmari
- 10-21-23
Ode to an Utterly Absurd & Cynical Generation
The real story is how absolutely lost these characters are. They have rebelled against everything their parents believed in and embraced all the modern social and environmental causes: counterculture, free love, feminism, anti-capitalism, drugs, etc. They constantly complain how everything in the world is terrible and getting worse. I can’t tell if the author really believes this edgy tripe or if she is purposely over-emphasizing their angst to make it over-the-top humorous. Kevin is hilarious: he bunkers himself in his basement apartment and never leaves, wasting his life doing nothing except toke marijuana and rail against every real or imaginary grievance caused by capitalists, the patriarchy, government, or whatever else he can think of. He’s the poster boy for the garbage mentality and values of this latest generation.
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- K. Dorris
- 10-25-23
Good story
This story was very well done. The characters were well written and I was drawn into their lives. I liked the wit and satire. However, I was not prepared for this book to tug my heartstrings, but it did.
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- Michael Jeffries
- 11-02-23
Potential Unfulfilled
Pathetic boyfriend, schizophrenic girlfriend sometimes bad ass other times emotional airhead, coupled with endless whining about environmental destruction and the evils of capitalism.
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- Maryann
- 11-21-23
Childish
The story was supposed to be witty in the scientific, sci-fi tone. It was anything, but it was simply a young adult. I kept waiting for it to get real, but it never did. The two now it is, did a decent job.
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- Chris Lunt
- 11-03-23
Liked it until the end
The end was incredibly depressing. The story went somewhere I didn’t like at the end.
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- RJH
- 12-06-23
Whining Millennial Rubbish
I like quirky stories, and I love SCI-FI. This is neither. it is the story of a promiscuous female tree hugger and the stoner soyboy cuck that loves her.
If you are looking for sci-fi save your credit.
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- killer7956
- 10-25-23
waste of time. so depressing.
This story had no bright spots in it. Time I won't get back in my life.
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