Glop
Nontoxic, Expensive Ideas That Will Make You Look Ridiculous and Feel Pretentious
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Narrated by:
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Tavia Gilbert
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By:
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Gabrielle Moss
About this listen
A wickedly funny sendup of the trendy, pretentious celebrity website GOOP.
What is Glop?
Glop is a business and a website. But Glop is also a feeling. It's about picking the right expensive organic eye cream that will make you a tall, thin, wealthy blonde WASP who fits seamlessly into the top tiers of high society and sits next to Bono at a 42-course seitan tasting dinner held in a sex dungeon deep beneath the North Pole. Glop is about being conscious to the tiny details of our lives - what to eat, where to buy your cashmere yoga pants, which juice cleanse will remove the most mercury toxins from both your body and your cashmere yoga pants. Glop is about you.
In this scathingly humorous parody, Gabrielle Moss skewers the vanity, elitism, and silliness of the lifestyle website everyone loves to hate. Here are favorite recipes, detoxes, activities, cleanses, beauty tips, juice cleanses, vacation destinations, and juice cleanse-detoxes and a selection of hand creams that will open your third eye - plus lots of celebrity namedropping and more.
Glop includes everything from the silly to sublime - make-at-home stem cell moisturizing repair masques, weekend colonics, restorative yoga poses (for when Sting is mad at you about that thing you did), and even the freshest bones for your bone broth. Here, too, are G's essential tips on parenthood, relationships, work and finances, entertaining, food (well, maybe not food), spirituality, beauty, fashion, home, gifts, kids, and more. Nothing in Glop is sacred - except for a few Indian cows you can't afford.
©2016 Gabrielle Moss (P)2016 HarperCollins PublishersListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
As women, we have become professional self-critics. We've become so convinced by society that we need to attain a level of perfection that just isn't real. Whether it's trying to get skinnier, look younger, get that promotion, please our parents, get fuller lips or rid ourselves of cellulite - we're on a never-ending mission to change and it always winds up making us feel like crap. In this straight-up girlfriend's guide, lifestylist and wellness coach Cara Alwill Leyba encourages women to discover what makes them sparkle so that they can design the lives they desire and deserve.
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recovering alcoholics avoid
- By Raven Elise on 08-22-19
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Bonjour, Happiness!
- Secrets to Finding Your Joie de Vivre
- By: Jamie Cat Callan
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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As a young girl, Jamie Cat Callan was fascinated by her French grandmother. Though she had little money, Jamie's grand-mère ate well, dressed well, and took joy in simple, everyday pleasures. As Jamie journeyed through France as an adult, she gained more insight into the differences between French and American women. French women - whether doctors, shop owners, or housewives - don't worry about being thin enough, young enough, or accomplished enough.
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a delight
- By Jan Kovac on 02-28-16
By: Jamie Cat Callan
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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Chasing Slow
- By: Erin Loechner
- Narrated by: Hayley Cresswell
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Chasing Slow models HGTV star Erin Loechner's journey to help you break out of the faster-better-stronger trap and make small changes to refresh your perspective, renew your priorities, and shift your focus to what matters most.
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Book is wonderful - narrator completely ruins it
- By Gail on 05-22-17
By: Erin Loechner
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The Sweet Life
- Find Passion, Embrace Fear, and Create Success on Your Own Terms
- By: Dulce Candy Ruiz
- Narrated by: Joell A. Jacob
- Length: 5 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Since posting her first makeup tutorial in 2008, Dulce Candy has become one of the top beauty stars on YouTube - boasting more than two million subscribers and garnering hundreds of millions of views for her bright and energetic how-to videos. But before she became a style icon and a role model to millions of young women, Dulce struggled to make her way in the world.
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Inspirational!
- By Joliefemme on 08-13-15
By: Dulce Candy Ruiz
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At Home with Madame Chic
- Becoming a Connoisseur of Daily Life
- By: Jennifer L. Scott
- Narrated by: Amy Rubinate
- Length: 4 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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When Jennifer arrived at Madame Chic's Parisian apartment as a foreign exchange student, Madame Chic took her under her wing and tutored her in the secrets of how the French elevate the little things in life to the art of living. Years later, Jennifer was back in California with a husband, two young daughters, a dog, and her first home.
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Sounds like a robot.
- By Jo on 08-25-15
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The Five Elements
- Understand Yourself and Enhance Your Relationships with the Wisdom of the World's Oldest Personality Type System
- By: Dondi Dahlin
- Narrated by: Dondi Dahlin, Donna Eden
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Dondi Dahlin shows us that we are all born with individual rhythms that go beyond the influence of our genes and upbringing. The five elements originated in ancient Chinese medicine over 2,000 years ago - when scholars theorized that the universe is composed of five forces: water, wood, fire, earth, and metal. Understanding these elements helps us stay in balance physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
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very insightful and very practical
- By Rick Smith on 09-11-18
By: Dondi Dahlin
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enLIGHTened
- How I Lost 40 Pounds with a Yoga Mat, Fresh Pineapples, and a Beagle Pointer
- By: Jessica Berger Gross
- Narrated by: Bernadette Dunne
- Length: 4 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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For years, Jessica struggled with fluctuating weight and bouts of unhappiness. Like many of us, she found comfort in food and craved cigarettes and self-confidence. Then one day Jessica took her first yoga class in Katmandu. She lost 40 pounds and changed her life forever. In enLIGHTened, Jessica shares the core principles of yoga philosophy—not the poses and postures, but the ancient system of ideas that lies behind them, drawn from a 2000-year-old text called the Yoga Sutras.
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Inspirational
- By Lakersfan on 04-23-15
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The Urban Monk
- Eastern Wisdom and Modern Hacks to Stop Time and Find Success, Happiness, and Peace
- By: Pedram Shojai OMD
- Narrated by: Pedram Shojai OMD
- Length: 8 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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The Urban Monk, a New York Times best seller, reveals the secrets to finding an open heart, sharp mind, and grounded sense of well-being, even in the most demanding circumstances. Shojai's no-nonsense life mastery program brings together clear tools and exercises that can elevate your existence.
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The Urban Monk swears a lot.
- By Frank C. on 07-05-16
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White Girl Problems
- By: Babe Walker
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 6 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Babe Walker, center of the universe, is a painstakingly manicured white girl with an expensive smoothie habit, a proclivity for Louboutins, a mysterious mother she's never met, and approximately 50 bajillion Twitter followers. But her "problems" have landed her in shopping rehab - that's what happens when you spend $246,893.50 in one afternoon at Barneys. Now she's decided to write her memoir, revealing the gut-wrenching hurdles she's had to overcome in order to be perfect in every way, every day.
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Hysterical
- By Kimberlykate on 02-01-13
By: Babe Walker
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Own Your Glow
- A Soulful Guide to Luminous Living and Crowning the Queen Within
- By: Latham Thomas
- Narrated by: Latham Thomas
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Own Your Glow is an inspirational, actionable, and wildly enriching companion for change. Celebrity wellness and lifestyle guru Latham Thomas provides soulful principles that offer an illuminated path for examining life’s challenges, helping you curate your path to greatness, while embracing your uniquely feminine attributes. Packed with rituals, meditations, and snackable lifestyle tips, Thomas provides a clear framework for harnessing your passion, developing spiritual fitness, and embracing true vulnerability.
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So empowering
- By Tafiea on 06-16-19
By: Latham Thomas
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Always Too Much and Never Enough
- By: Jasmin Singer
- Narrated by: Jasmin Singer
- Length: 11 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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From the extra pounds and bullies that left her eating lunch alone at school to the low self-esteem that left her both physically and emotionally vulnerable to abuse, Jasmin Singer's weight defined her life. Even after she embraced a vegan lifestyle and a passion for animal rights advocacy, she defied any skinny vegan stereotypes by getting heavier. It was only after she committed to juice fasts and a diet of whole foods that she lost almost a hundred pounds and realized what it means to be truly full.
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Touching and inspirational
- By Daniel on 02-19-16
By: Jasmin Singer
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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies
- And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
- By: Tara Schuster
- Narrated by: Tara Schuster
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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By the time she was in her late 20s, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a "ninja of self-love".
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Shallow romp through other authors works
- By MM in Los Angeles on 03-01-20
By: Tara Schuster
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Bare
- A 7-Week Program to Transform Your Body, Get More Energy, Feel Amazing, and Become the Bravest, Most Unstoppable Version of You
- By: Susan Hyatt
- Narrated by: Susan Hyatt
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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You are a badass whole woman with big dreams, big feelings, and big potential. What are you hiding behind that shield of overeating? Who do you want to be when you put down the shield and take on life's battles bare? This is the perfect book if you want to take excellent care of yourself, upgrade your mental and physical health, build confidence, conquer your goals, crush the patriarchy, and look and feel damn good while doing it. Bare is not a weight-loss plan. It's a life-gain plan.
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Week 1-Purged all Self-Help from my media
- By Sher on 08-07-19
By: Susan Hyatt
What listeners say about Glop
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Lila Fowler
- 01-24-17
Gets old fast
It's funny for a few minutes, but then it just gets ridiculous. I just couldn't listen after anymore after a while.
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