How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives
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Narrated by:
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Oliver Wyman
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By:
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Zachary Auburn
About this listen
The cats of America are under siege!
Long gone are the good old days when a cat’s biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.
For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, “What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms?” and “What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence?” and especially “Why does my cat need to use the internet? Can’t he just play with yarn like cats used to do?”
Our country - and our cats - stand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within this audiobook, we can make our cats - and America - great again!
©2016 Zachary Auburn (P)2019 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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The Secret History of Kindness
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An intimate, surprising look at man's best friend and what the leading philosophies of dog training teach us about ourselves. Years back, Melissa Holbrook Pierson brought home a border collie named Mercy, without a clue of how to get her to behave. Stunned after hiring a trainer whose immediate rapport with Mercy seemed magical, Pierson began delving into the techniques of positive reinforcement.
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Warning: praises ABA done to autistic people
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Cunt (20th Anniversary Edition)
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In this fully revised anniversary edition of the classic testament to women's empowerment, Muscio explores with candidness and humor such traditional feminist issues as birth control, sexuality, jealousy between women, and prostitution with a fresh attitude for a new generation of women. Sending out a call for every woman to be the "Cuntlovin' Ruler of Her Sexual Universe", Muscio stands convention on its head by embracing the provocative and celebrating womanhood.
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Best book ever
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By: Inga Muscio
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The Way of the Heathen
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So you're an atheist. Now what? The way we deal with life - with love and sex, pleasure and death, reality and making stuff up - can change dramatically when we stop believing in gods, souls, and afterlives. When we leave religion - or if we never had it in the first place - where do we go? With her unique blend of compassion and humor, thoughtfulness and snark, Greta Christina most emphatically does not propose a single path to a good atheist life. She offers questions to think about, ideas that may be useful, and encouragement to choose your own way.
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Navigating the world outside of church
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By: Greta Christina
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Death to Deconstruction
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This book is more than Porter's own story. It also invites those who may be in the deconstruction process themselves to consider the perspective of someone who was tempted to leave his faith—yet stayed. And it provides theological insight and pastoral support to those who worry that everyone is bailing out on the church.
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Beautiful
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The Enemy Within
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Michael Savage's powerful, unmatched mix of razor-sharp wit and explosive socio-political commentary has made him into a cultural phenomenon, becoming not only one of America's most popular radio talk-show hosts, but also a best-selling author. This is his latest assault on the corrosive effects of liberalism on American culture.
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Still applies
- By gary lee johnson on 02-05-19
By: Michael Savage
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Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To
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Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To is a guidebook on how to pray effectively. All over the world, people are shaking their heads in frustration and asking, "Why doesn't God answer me when I cry out to him?" In light of all the problems we face in life, we want to know why God is so often "silent" when we pray. Anthony DeStefano knew there had to be an answer to this mystery, so he set out to find prayers that God says "yes" to all the time.
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Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes to
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Angels All Around Us
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Everybody has one. It's called a "haunt detector". It's the little alarm that goes off in our heads whenever we detect that something mysterious or supernatural has occurred. You could be sitting around relaxing, and for no special reason you start thinking about someone. Then the phone rings; you pick it up, and amazingly, it's that person! Many of us have experienced this phenomenon.What is it? Anthony DeStefano answers this compelling question in his fascinating new book, The Invisible World.
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Simplistic
- By Margaret on 03-26-12
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An Inconvenient Book
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The world is a mess. It seems that everywhere listeners turn, there's another problem. What is needed now are solutions. If only there was a man who could simplify things, cut through the rhetoric, and fix everything. Then, if he was just able to put all of that insight into something that people could buy...in a store and online...man, that would great. Wait a minute!
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Waste of Time and Money
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Our species, it appears, is hardwired to get things wrong in myriad different ways. Why did recipients of a loan offer accept a higher rate of interest when a pretty woman's face was printed on the flyer? Why did one poll on immigration find the most despised aliens were ones from a group that did not exist? What made four of the Air Force's best pilots fly their planes, in formation, straight into the ground?
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A tour de force
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Survive Like a Spy
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Everyone loves a good spy story, but most of the ones we hear are fictional. That's because the most dangerous and important spycraft is done in secret, often without anyone even noticing. In Survive Like a Spy, best-selling author and former CIA officer Jason Hanson takes the listener deep inside the world of espionage, revealing true stories and expert tactics from real agents engaged in life-threatening missions around the world.
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Fantastic book, practical tips, too much marketing
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The Mind Club
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Nothing seems more real than the minds of other people. When you consider what your boss is thinking or whether your spouse is happy, you are admitting them into the "mind club". It's easy to assume other humans can think and feel, but what about a cow, a computer, a corporation? What kinds of minds do they have? Daniel M. Wegner and Kurt Gray are award-winning psychologists who have discovered that minds - while incredibly important - are a matter of perception.
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Who is the self in me? Am I part of something bigger?
- By Philomath on 03-24-16
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What listeners say about How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Cayge Chambers
- 01-01-20
flame
just absolutely swell, just straight divine. My cat has never been more prepared to deal with firearms
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2 people found this helpful
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- Eweeezy
- 01-29-23
Conservative Christian Loves This!
I found this audio utterly humorous... and dare I day relatable! I was surprised to discover the author wrote this as a means of satire. Interestingly, he knows much of the main talking points and ideas of the Christian faith which he expresses from our POV instead of a leftist mocking standpoint, which is ironic being that the book is satire. I liked it a lot. Oliver, I hope Jesus finds you. We will gladly welcome you :)
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2 people found this helpful
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- Lindsay
- 01-07-23
Very good book. helped my cats a lot.
I LOVED IT BEST BOOK EVER SO AMAZING. HELPED MY CATS A LOT. 🐈
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- Anonymous User
- 11-12-20
Intermittently Funny
A solid guide for protecting your feline against deceit, but otherwise falls short of being a worthwhile listen. 10/10 meme, 6/10 actual listen.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Dina
- 04-07-24
The reader was excellent
This book is so helpful 0 gun accidents by cat since this book came out
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1 person found this helpful
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- Anonymous User
- 07-19-19
Humorous Exposer of Conservative Culture to Cats
I listened this to while cat sitting for my grand-kittens. They are usually raised by conservative human parents and after listening to the Mueller Report, A Higher Calling and other anti-Trump audio books all these cats would do is sit on the porch in the sun away from my audio books. I thought that I should include them in my next Audible selection and found How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety. The cats enthusiastically listened while napping on their front porch. I recommend this book to any cat-sitting hippy relatives trying to give these cats a since of normalcy without turning on Fox News. It's Purr-fect
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8 people found this helpful
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- Dimitri Music
- 09-21-24
I think I did something wrong
My cat is now a gay communist who does drugs and owns five guns. What did I do wrong??
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- Infidel65
- 02-19-21
Not what you think.
This overtly conservative book was written by a leftist. It didn't come to light until the author describes how to keep your son from being approached by other gay men. He detailed that by dressing your son in tough cloths like leather pants and jackett, and a leather bikers hat, gay men would stay away. Tell that to Freddy Mercury.
And to ensure your some grows up straight dress him like "The Village People". And to play wholesome video games that honor our military and capitalism like Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto.
This book is in keeping with Saul Alinskys teachings in "Rules for Radicals". For example to destroy your enemy you must become your enemy and do it from within.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Jenelle R. Embrey
- 09-01-20
I don't get it
I don't get it. Is this right radical propaganda? Or is this satire? I wish there was something to prepare me in the summary. I could barely stand to listen to this. I don't get it.
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3 people found this helpful