
I Can't Save You
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Anthony Chin-Quee
About this listen
The raw and gripping memoir of a Black physician who confronts his past mistakes and relationships as he learns to find his own path forward
At first glance, Anthony Chin-Quee looks like a traditional success story: a smart, ambitious kid who grew up to become a board-certified otolaryngologist—an ear, nose, and throat surgeon. Yet the truth is more complicated.
As a self-described “not white, mostly Black, and questionably Asian man,” Chin-Quee knows that he doesn’t fit easily into any category. Growing up in a family with a background of depression, he struggled with relationships, feelings of inadequacy, and a fear of failure that made it difficult for him to forge lasting bonds with others.
To repair that, he began his own unflinching examination of what it means to be both a physician and a Black man today. What saved him and his sanity was not medicine but storytelling: by sharing stories from his life and career, Chin-Quee learned how powerful the truth can be in helping to forgive yourself and others as you chart a new way forward.
By turns harrowing and hilarious, honest and human, I Can’t Save You is the fascinating true story of how looking within can change you and your life for the better.
Contents
Prologue 1
ONE: Chin-Quee, M.D. 3
TWO: A-Side—Success* 42
THREE: B-Side—The Fall 80
FOUR: You 160
FIVE: Fear of Flying 176
SIX: Rainbow Connection 212
SEVEN: Y'ain't (k)no(w) 222
EIGHT: Fatherhood 285
NINE: Eulogy 334
Acknowledgments 353
©2023 Anthony Chin-Quee (P)2023 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Bracing… [these] astute, no-holds-barred insights offer a window into the world of medical practitioners—and also celebrate the nuanced and diverse humanity of physicians.”—NPR
“[This] book is full of wild stories from his experiences in the medical world and complex depictions of racial bias and what that means for access and opportunity, as well as honest reckonings with the meanings of care, harm, and survival in a capitalist and white-supremacist society. It’s a gripping story that is also genuine and, at times, filled with humor and levity.”—Shondaland
“His story will resonate, particularly with readers who feel as though they don’t quite fit in and those dealing with a family history of mental illness.”—Booklist
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Hit me. Kick me. Hurt me. Hate me. There’s nothing that the students of Raleigh High can do to Silver Parisi anymore. Over the past year, she’s had to endure more pain and suffering than most people are asked to bear in their lifetimes. She’s a pariah, an outcast, a ghost. She’s also never been one to take shit lying down, though...despite what half the football team might say. With only 168 days left of the school year, it won’t be long until graduation, and Silver’s planning on skipping town and leaving Raleigh firmly in her rearview mirror. Until he comes along....
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Not a YA only! Do NOT blow this off!
- By Amazon Customer on 02-29-20
By: Callie Hart
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My Glory Was I Had Such Friends
- A Memoir
- By: Amy Silverstein
- Narrated by: Erin Moon
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
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Nearly 26 years after receiving her first heart transplant, Amy Silverstein's donor heart plummeted into failure. If she wanted to live, she had to take on the grueling quest for a new heart - immediately. A shot at survival meant uprooting her life and moving across the country to California. When her friends heard of her plans, there was only one reaction: "I'm there." Nine remarkable women - Joy, Jill, Leja, Jody, Lauren, Robin, Valerie, Ann, and Jane - put demanding jobs and pressing family obligations on hold to fly across the country and be by Amy's side.
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Great listen!
- By Natalie on 05-13-23
By: Amy Silverstein
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The Last Post
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- Narrated by: Avery Caris, Stephen Dexter
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
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Laya Marston’s husband, Cameron, a daredevil enthusiast, was the complete opposite of her, ready and willing to dive off a cliff-face or parachute across a canyon - and Laya loved him for it. But she was different: pragmatic, regimented, devoted to her career and to supporting Cameron from the sidelines of his death-defying feats. Opposites attract, right? But when Cameron dies tragically, Laya becomes lost in denial, living in the delusion that Cameron will come back to her.
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I really wanted to like this
- By Amazon Customer on 12-21-21
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Pride, Prejudice, and Other Flavors
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Dr. Trisha Raje is San Francisco’s most acclaimed neurosurgeon. But that’s not enough for the Rajes, her influential immigrant family who’s achieved power by making its own nonnegotiable rules: Never trust an outsider, never do anything to jeopardize your brother’s political aspirations, and never, ever, defy your family. Trisha is guilty of breaking all three rules. But now, she has a chance to redeem herself. So long as she doesn’t repeat old mistakes.
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From the Male Perspective
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The Vanished Series, Books 1-3
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When the crows gather over a remote Navajo Reservation in the deep Southwest, it is a sign that the thin veil that separates our world from the one beyond is about to open. Without a barrier between life and death, things pass between both worlds. Some of them are good. Most of them are not.
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Going to slog through to the end
- By KatieReviewsStuff on 04-28-21
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I'm Telling the Truth, but I'm Lying
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- By: Bassey Ikpi
- Narrated by: Bassey Ikpi
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In I’m Telling the Truth, but I’m Lying, Bassey Ikpi explores her life - as a Nigerian-American immigrant, a black woman, a slam poet, a mother, a daughter, an artist - through the lens of her mental health and diagnosis of bipolar II and anxiety. Her remarkable memoir in essays implodes our preconceptions of the mind and normalcy as Bassey bares her own truths and lies for us all to behold with radical honesty and brutal intimacy.
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Full, poignant, purposeful
- By Bree on 08-21-19
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Phantom Limb
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Emily and Elizabeth spent their childhood locked in a bedroom and terrorized by a mother who drank too much and disappeared for days. The identical twins were rescued by a family determined to be their saviors. But there are some horrors love can’t erase....
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Not a fan of the ending.....
- By Dr. loLafolana on 08-10-20
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Changing the Rules
- Richter, Book 1
- By: Catherine Bybee
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As an employee of MacBain Securities and Solutions, Claire Kelly can certainly hold her own. Armed with an impressive set of covert skills, she’s more than prepared to tackle any job that comes her way...except one involving Cooper Lockman. Cooper and Claire used to work together before his feelings for her sent him packing to Europe for six long years. But now he’s back and determined to ignore the still-smoldering heat that lingers between them. Their current mission: go undercover together at a California high school to root out the mastermind behind a prostitution ring.
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Cooper & Claire Bring Down A Trafficking Ring!
- By B. Roscoe on 03-24-21
By: Catherine Bybee
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The road from a high school track to an Olympic starting line is long and sometimes shadowy. Obstacles like chronic injuries, under-fueled nutrition, and coercive coaching can threaten to derail careers before they’ve even begun. Frustrated by seeing young talent burn out before reaching their potential, professional distance runner Molly Huddle and college coach Sara Slattery have teamed up with trailblazing running legends and sports medicine professionals to create an essential guide to reach your running potential.
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Prachi Gupta’s family embodied the American Dream: a doctor father and a nurturing mother who raised two high-achieving children with one foot in the Indian American community, the other in Pennsylvania’s white suburbia. But their belonging was predicated on a powerful myth: that Asian Americans have perfected the alchemy of middle-class life, raising tight-knit, ambitious families that are immune to hardship.
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Good good
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My Hijacking
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On September 6, 1970, twelve-year-old Martha Hodes and her thirteen-year-old sister were flying unaccompanied back to New York City from Israel when their plane was hijacked by members of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine and forced to land in the Jordan desert. Too young to understand the sheer gravity of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, Martha coped by suppressing her fear and anxiety. Nearly a half-century later, her memories of those six days and nights as a hostage are hazy and scattered.
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Childhood memories…a puzzle to solve.
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What listeners say about I Can't Save You
Highly rated for:
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- Amazon Customer
- 06-05-23
Heartbreaking and incredible!
This is one of the most gut wrenching, funny, surprisingly dark pieces of non-fiction I’ve ever heard. There is so much more to this story than “just” the matter of race. I laughed, cried and nearly vomited as I listened to this memoir. The author’s beautiful voice telling his story firsthand makes it that much more powerful. Highly recommend!!!
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- Melissa
- 02-26-24
Insightful
I read this book as a female surgeon, I was not only interested in how he would describe training but also the title caught my eye …. I can’t save you. Without knowing anything about the author or the story I bought the book. Did it mean he could not save the patient or himself?
I enjoyed listening to training. I trained prior to him which even made my training more brutal. His training description was accurate however, I quit all alcohol & have never used drugs I didn’t have any energy left over in my training. Although later he explains why he used alcohol & drugs. He also talked about being a minority I almost stopped reading at this point because white women are also minorities in medicine as medicine is a white mans world. We too suffer discrimination most don’t recognize. But…. Keep reading the book only gets better after this point …, he brings it all together.
I love medicine! Despite its brutality it was my calling. He did not live medicine. Sometimes we can’t save patients & I know only I have been able to save myself through all the trials of life! But this man discovered who he was and was kind enough to share it with us! Brutally honest! Thank you!
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- Anonymous User
- 01-21-25
Hidden
The things people never say out loud, skin color, and falsified archetype. Still apply. Still dangerous. Still unfair. This is true and so thank you for the view through your eyes.
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- Integrative Doc
- 05-26-23
Great story
Loved this story of the brutality and rawness of medical training, especially within framework of trauma and racism. The ending was a little light of the leaving of medicine (I wanted more about this journey).
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- Sally Dobbie
- 05-05-23
Riveting & Heartbreaking
What a book. Such a deep, personal memoir detailing drive, disappointment, sadness and redemption. I love Tony's reading of this story - very powerful. Makes me afraid to go to a hospital for treatment by residents-in-training! I am hopeful that Tony has found his real place in the world as he is a gift. Look forward to reading more from him.
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- jessica Sims
- 06-04-23
Enjoyed this book
A journey of truth, discovery, and self love. Enjoyed this read! The way the book was narrated was great.
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- Vanessa I. Farrell
- 09-20-23
A roller coaster of emotions and truth
This story was raw and riveting. The author took you to places within his story that was so heart wrenching so moving so transparent. This level of deepness within a story was absolutely breathtaking. I felt like I lived through the moments he described as he moved through his life as a student, and a resident, and becoming a full-fledged doctor. My heart was full when he spoke about his vision for his life and his love for his yet to be born children, and how he would love them and talk through his life story and what made him become the man that he is today. Thank you for giving us the freedom and the permission to live outside of someone else’s dream for us. I’m glad that you’re bold enough to walk away from or contemplate walking away from the profession and to do what your heart’s desires to pursue your purpose and passion for writing and for blessing us with this amazing memoir. Thank you.
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- Kathleen
- 04-11-23
Healing and Hope
It’s rare to find storytelling done so well that has the power to resonate with so many. Dr. Chin—Quee’s brilliance and humility are intertwined in this book, and it’s just a lot of joy to listen to it in his own voice. A must-read for those in medicine, but goes well beyond the field in terms of its power to heal and inspire.
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- A. Li
- 04-10-23
A great read by the author
Most audiobooks read by the author are mediocre at best. This one is a true performance! A must listen to. It is part sad and hilarious, part introspective, part social commentary, and overall hits you are your core. Highly recommend
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Patten
- 05-19-23
Authentic
Awesome, well-done! The author’s narration of his accounts— funny, sad, and REAL. Thank you
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