
We Should Not Be Friends
The Story of a Friendship
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Narrated by:
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Will Schwalbe
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By:
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Will Schwalbe
About this listen
A NEW YORKER BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR • A warm, funny, irresistible memoir that follows an improbable and life-changing college friendship over the course of forty years—from the best-selling author of The End of Your Life Book Club • “A rare view of male friendship.”—NPR
“Moving…salted with Schwalbe’s well-established literary intelligence and a palpable empathy.” —The New York Times Book Review
By the time Will Schwalbe was a junior at college, he had already met everyone he cared to know: the theater people, writers, visual artists and comp lit majors, and various other quirky characters including the handful of students who shared his own major, Latin and Greek. He also knew exactly who he wanted to avoid: the jocks. The jocks wore baseball caps and moved in packs, filling boisterous tables in the dining hall, and on the whole seemed to be another species entirely, one Will might encounter only at his own peril.
All this changed dramatically when Will collided with Chris Maxey, known to just about everyone as Maxey. Maxey was physically imposing, loud, and a star wrestler who was determined to become a Navy SEAL (where he would later serve for six years). Thanks to the strangely liberating circumstances of a little-known secret society at Yale, the two forged a bond that would become a mainstay of each other’s lives as they repeatedly lost and found each other and themselves in the years after graduation.
From New Haven to New York City, from Hong Kong and Panama to a remarkable school on an island in the Bahamas—through marriages and a divorce, triumphs and devastating losses—We Should Not Be Friends tracks an extraordinary friendship over decades of challenge and change. Schwalbe’s marvelous new work is, at its heart, a joyful testament to the miracle of human connection—and how if we can just get past our preconceptions, we may find some of our greatest friends.
©2023 Will Schwalbe (P)2023 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"We Should Not Be Friends offers a rare view of male friendship, which has received far less attention than platonic closeness between women . . . Seasoned editor that he is, Schwalbe knows how to structure a book for maximum effect . . . We Should Not Be Friends succeeds, to a large extent, because Maxey comes across as a great character. He also proves himself to be a warm and devoted friend. This book is Schwalbe's payback, his way of expressing his gratitude by using the tools with which he is most comfortable.”—NPR
"Moving . . . salted with Schwalbe’s well-established literary intelligence and a palpable empathy.”—The New York Times Book Review
"What I loved about Will and Maxey was watching their capacity for friendship grow as Life came at them, making them bigger and wiser human beings along the way. At the end of the book, I found myself turning the title around. Why wouldn’t they be friends?"—Martha Teichner, author of When Harry Met Minnie
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In this memoir, which she began before passing away in 2017 and completed by her co-writer, Edie recounts her childhood in Philadelphia, her realization that she was a lesbian, and her active social life in Greenwich Village's electrifying underground gay scene during the 1950s. Edie was also one of a select group of trailblazing women in computing, working her way up the ladder at IBM and achieving their highest technical ranking while developing software.
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🏳️🌈 Wow! 🏳️🌈
- By Natalia Zimnoch on 10-15-19
By: Edie Windsor, and others
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Committed
- Dispatches from a Psychiatrist in Training
- By: Adam Stern MD
- Narrated by: Adam Stern MD
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Adam Stern was a student at a state medical school before being selected to train as a psychiatry resident at one of the most prestigious programs in the country. His new and initially intimidating classmates were high achievers from the Ivy League and other elite universities. Faculty raved about the group as though the residency program had won the lottery, nicknaming them “The Golden Class”, but would Stern ever prove that he belonged? In his memoir, Stern pulls back the curtain on the intense and emotionally challenging lessons he and his fellow doctors learned.
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Thank you for reminding me,
- By Ms D on 12-29-21
By: Adam Stern MD
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The Wanderer
- Thunder Point, Book 1
- By: Robyn Carr
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nestled on the Oregon coast is a small town of rocky beaches and rugged charm. Locals love the land’s unspoiled beauty. Developers see it as a potential gold mine. When newcomer Hank Cooper learns he’s been left an old friend’s entire beachfront property, he finds himself with a community’s destiny in his hands. Cooper has never been a man to settle in one place, and Thunder Point was supposed to be just another quick stop. But Cooper finds himself getting involved with the town. And with Sarah Dupre, a woman as complicated as she is beautiful.
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4.5 The Wanderer Stars
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By: Robyn Carr
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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The Baddest Bitch in the Room
- (Explicit Version)
- By: Sophia Chang
- Narrated by: Sophia Chang
- Length: 8 hrs
- Original Recording
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Sophia Chang is a badass of the music industry. As the daughter of Korean immigrants in predominantly white suburban Vancouver, she grew up shunning the “model minority” myth. Armed with a fierce sense of independence, she moved to New York City and infiltrated the world of hip-hop, yet remained mostly in the shadows of the artists she supported. With her debut memoir, Sophia Chang is finally ready to grab the mic for herself.
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Something in the music spoke to me...
- By Tina G. on 09-30-19
By: Sophia Chang
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In the Water They Can't See You Cry
- A Memoir
- By: Amanda Beard, Rebecca Paley
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At the tender age of 14, Amanda Beard walked onto the pool deck at the Atlanta Olympics carrying her teddy bear, Harold, and left with two silvers and a gold medal. She competed in three more Olympic games, winning a total of seven medals, and enjoyed a lucrative modeling career on the side. At one point, she was the most downloaded female athlete on the Internet. Yet despite her astonishing career and sex-symbol status, Amanda felt unworthy of all her success. Unaware that she was suffering from clinical depression, she hid the pain beneath a megawatt smile.
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I applaud Amanda - but her editor's were lame
- By Heather on 03-10-15
By: Amanda Beard, and others
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What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding
- A Memoir
- By: Kristin Newman
- Narrated by: Kristin Newman
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Kristin Newman spent her 20s and 30s dealing with the stresses of her high-pressure job as a television comedy writer, and the anxieties of watching most of her friends get married and start families while she wrestled with her own fear of both. Not ready to settle down and yet loathe to become a sad-sack single girl, Kristin instead started traveling the world, often alone, for a few months each year, falling madly in love with attractive locals who provided moments of the love she wanted without the cost of the freedom she needed.
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Struggled to Finish
- By YITBOS on 11-21-15
By: Kristin Newman
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The Last Rescue
- How Faith and Love Saved a Navy SEAL Sniper
- By: Howard Wasdin
- Narrated by: Daniel Butler
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The Last Rescue is an unforgettable tale of brokenness and healing, going deep into the firing line of modern warfare, through the agony of broken marriages, and onto a path of redemption and love. With a clear-eyed view of the inevitability of heartache and the power of God's faithfulness, Howard and Debbie remind us that no matter what our circumstances, we should never, ever, give up hope.
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Narrators
- By Trey Lewis on 03-27-15
By: Howard Wasdin
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Strangers Assume My Girlfriend Is My Nurse
- By: Shane Burcaw
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
With his signature acerbic wit and hilarious voice, 20-something author, blogger, and entrepreneur Shane Burcaw is back with an essay collection about living a full life in a body that many people perceive as a tragedy. From anecdotes about first introductions where people patted him on the head instead of shaking his hand, to stories of passersby mistaking his able-bodied girlfriend for a nurse, Shane tackles awkward situations and assumptions with humor and grace.
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Uplifting
- By PhinzPride on 04-12-20
By: Shane Burcaw
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Falling Apart in One Piece
- One Optimist's Journey Through the Hell of Divorce
- By: Stacy Morrison
- Narrated by: Stacy Morrison
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Just when Stacy Morrison thought she had it all, her husband of 10 years announced that he wanted a divorce. She was left alone with a new house that needed lots of work, a new baby who needed lots of attention, and a new job in the high-pressure world of New York publishing. Morrison had never been one to believe in fairy tales. As far as she was concerned, happy endings were the product of the kind of ambition and hard work that had propelled her to the top of her profession.
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so helpful
- By jessica ball on 11-10-15
By: Stacy Morrison
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Spare
- By: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Narrated by: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.
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Gutterball!
- By Jimmyjoejangles on 01-10-23
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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The Last Post
- By: Renée Carlino
- Narrated by: Avery Caris, Stephen Dexter
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Laya Marston’s husband, Cameron, a daredevil enthusiast, was the complete opposite of her, ready and willing to dive off a cliff-face or parachute across a canyon - and Laya loved him for it. But she was different: pragmatic, regimented, devoted to her career and to supporting Cameron from the sidelines of his death-defying feats. Opposites attract, right? But when Cameron dies tragically, Laya becomes lost in denial, living in the delusion that Cameron will come back to her.
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I really wanted to like this
- By Amazon Customer on 12-21-21
By: Renée Carlino
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Becoming Duchess Goldblatt
- By: anonymous
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, Lyle Lovett, J. Smith-Cameron
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Becoming Duchess Goldblatt is two stories: that of the reclusive real-life writer who created a fictional character out of loneliness and thin air, and that of the magical Duchess Goldblatt herself, a bright light in the darkness of social media. Fans around the world are drawn to Her Grace's voice, her wit, her life-affirming love for all humanity, and the fun and friendship of the community that's sprung up around her.
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Oh Dear Duchess!
- By Rebecca Lindroos on 07-20-20
By: anonymous
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Good good
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The COVID pandemic propelled many people to change their lives in ways large and small. Some adopted puppies. Others stress-baked. Peggy Orenstein, a lifelong knitter, went just a little further. To keep herself engaged and cope with a series of seismic shifts in family life, she set out to make a garment from the ground up: learning to shear sheep, spin and dye yarn, then knitting herself a sweater.
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Quietly Hostile
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Samantha Irby’s career has taken her to new heights. She dodges calls from Hollywood and flop sweats on the red carpet at premieres (well, one premiere). But nothing is ever as it seems online, where she can crop out all the ugly parts. Irby got a lot of weird emails about Carrie Bradshaw, and not only is there diarrhea to avoid, but now—anaphylactic shock. She is turned away from restaurants for being inappropriately dressed and looks for the best ways to cope, i.e., reveling in the offerings of QVC and adopting a deranged pandemic dog.
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My Dream Time
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I’m only in my mid-twenties, and some might think that’s young to write a memoir. Who does that, right? But for me and my team it’s always been important to reflect on every part of the journey, especially the end. In that context, the timing is perfect to share my story, from the first time I picked up a racquet as a 5-year-old girl to the night I packed up my tennis bag after winning the 2022 Australian Open.
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Relentless
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Out of the Darkness
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Aaron Rodgers is among the two or three most talented players to ever hold the most important job in American team sports–quarterback. He also stands as the most mysterious and polarizing figure in the modern-day national pastime that is professional football. From his controversial Covid stance to his methods of spiritual awakening to his estrangement from his family to his high-profile romances to his devastating Achilles injury a mere four plays into his New York Jets career, Rodgers has long dominated the NFL’s news cycle.
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Author seems clueless as to what draws a lot of people to Aaron
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What listeners say about We Should Not Be Friends
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- sarah jones
- 03-21-24
A beautiful and engaging story
This book was easy to get lost in. The writer tells a beautiful story of friendship between 2 unlikely men and there own personal experiences and growth through time. A very fast listen or read. I highly recommend it.
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- Tanya Hollady
- 06-05-24
I unexpectedly loved it !
Our book club chose to read this book. I I had originally planned, NOT to read it. After weeks of procrastinating ..Something in my gut told me I should read it, so I did ; I’m so glad I did. This book brought back so many fond & beautiful memories I had shared during college. This book describes friendship in such a beautiful, inspiring & Self reflecting way. This book has challenged me to be a better friend to the ones I love.
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- Betsey
- 05-09-23
Beautiful in every way
This book was touching, inspiring and relatable. It also educated me in so many ways about a different way to think about how and what we teach our children. It reminded me what is important to each one of us “in the grand scheme of things”, that is life. I so enjoyed every moment of this journey of friendship.
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- CTGreen
- 10-28-23
Speaking Life’s Little Epic Moments
Thank you for putting voice and awareness to impactful feelings not often confronted. The angle of the hill feels less steep already.
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- Victoria L.
- 03-22-24
Great read
As a Yale law school alum, I have to admit that I was attracted to the book because of the familiarity with the place. Additionally, I was in college at precisely the same time the author was.
Setting all of that predisposition to like the book aside, I found it in an engaging read. It’s very much an homage to friendship, especially the friendships that are the unlikeliest.
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- James
- 03-23-23
Loved it!
I absolutely loved this book and didn’t want it to end. What a beautiful story of friendship across time.
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- Biz
- 03-06-23
Excellent storytelling and very engaging
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The thoughtfulness, openness and introspection of both Will and Maxey is beautifully portrayed. Thank you both for your willingness to share your story! And my favorite book is also Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner. Who knew I was in such good company?!
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- Username
- 06-09-24
Friendship
Wonderful story of the journey of a friendship. Finding common ground and human connection. It’s a powerful reminder of how to maintain friendships and why they are so important. Loved the audio book! Very easy to listen to and I looked forward to the next chapter.
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- Kimberly Miller
- 05-20-23
Important lessons we all should reflect on
Enjoy the honesty - the highs and lows as well as ebbs and flows of a true enduring friendship.
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- Anne R. Jackowitz
- 05-28-23
Fantastic listen!
An entertaining story of a lifelong unlikely friendship. An easy listen / narrated by the author.
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