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We Should Not Be Friends
- The Story of a Friendship
- Narrated by: Will Schwalbe
- Length: 9 hrs and 43 mins
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Publisher's summary
A NEW YORKER BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR • A warm, funny, irresistible memoir that follows an improbable and life-changing college friendship over the course of forty years—from the best-selling author of The End of Your Life Book Club • “A rare view of male friendship.”—NPR
“Moving…salted with Schwalbe’s well-established literary intelligence and a palpable empathy.” —The New York Times Book Review
By the time Will Schwalbe was a junior at college, he had already met everyone he cared to know: the theater people, writers, visual artists and comp lit majors, and various other quirky characters including the handful of students who shared his own major, Latin and Greek. He also knew exactly who he wanted to avoid: the jocks. The jocks wore baseball caps and moved in packs, filling boisterous tables in the dining hall, and on the whole seemed to be another species entirely, one Will might encounter only at his own peril.
All this changed dramatically when Will collided with Chris Maxey, known to just about everyone as Maxey. Maxey was physically imposing, loud, and a star wrestler who was determined to become a Navy SEAL (where he would later serve for six years). Thanks to the strangely liberating circumstances of a little-known secret society at Yale, the two forged a bond that would become a mainstay of each other’s lives as they repeatedly lost and found each other and themselves in the years after graduation.
From New Haven to New York City, from Hong Kong and Panama to a remarkable school on an island in the Bahamas—through marriages and a divorce, triumphs and devastating losses—We Should Not Be Friends tracks an extraordinary friendship over decades of challenge and change. Schwalbe’s marvelous new work is, at its heart, a joyful testament to the miracle of human connection—and how if we can just get past our preconceptions, we may find some of our greatest friends.
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Critic reviews
"We Should Not Be Friends offers a rare view of male friendship, which has received far less attention than platonic closeness between women . . . Seasoned editor that he is, Schwalbe knows how to structure a book for maximum effect . . . We Should Not Be Friends succeeds, to a large extent, because Maxey comes across as a great character. He also proves himself to be a warm and devoted friend. This book is Schwalbe's payback, his way of expressing his gratitude by using the tools with which he is most comfortable.”—NPR
"Moving . . . salted with Schwalbe’s well-established literary intelligence and a palpable empathy.”—The New York Times Book Review
"What I loved about Will and Maxey was watching their capacity for friendship grow as Life came at them, making them bigger and wiser human beings along the way. At the end of the book, I found myself turning the title around. Why wouldn’t they be friends?"—Martha Teichner, author of When Harry Met Minnie
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Story
Nearly half of working women in the United States are now their household's main breadwinner. And yet, the majority of women still aren't being brought up to think like breadwinners. In fact, they're actually discouraged - by institutional bias and subconscious beliefs - from building their own wealth, pursuing their full earning potential, and providing for themselves and others financially. In Think Like a Breadwinner, financial expert Jennifer Barrett reframes what it really means to be a breadwinner.
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Great advice
- By Dreda Phoenix on 04-16-21
By: Jennifer Barrett
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Books for Living
- Some Thoughts on Reading, Reflecting, and Embracing Life
- By: Will Schwalbe
- Narrated by: Jeff Harding
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Why is it that we read? Is it to pass time? To learn something new? To escape from reality? For Will Schwalbe, reading is a way to entertain himself but also to make sense of the world, to become a better person, and to find the answers to the big (and small) questions about how to live his life. In this delightful celebration of reading, Schwalbe invites us along on his quest for books that speak to the specific challenges of living in our modern world, with all its noise and distractions.
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Medium
- By Kenneth W. Cole on 09-04-18
By: Will Schwalbe
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Three Ordinary Girls
- The Remarkable Story of Three Dutch Teenagers Who Became Spies, Saboteurs, Nazi Assassins and WWII Heroes
- By: Tim Brady
- Narrated by: David de Vries
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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May 10, 1940. The Netherlands was swarming with Third Reich troops. In seven days it's entirely occupied by Nazi Germany. Joining a small resistance cell in the Dutch city of Haarlem were three teenage girls: Hannie Schaft, and sisters Truus and Freddie Oversteegen, who would soon band together to form a singular female underground squad.
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Communist fan fiction
- By Rodney on 03-12-23
By: Tim Brady
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Glory Be
- A Glory Broussard Mystery, Book 1
- By: Danielle Arceneaux
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 8 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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It’s a hot and sticky Sunday in Lafayette, Louisiana, and Glory has settled into her usual after-church routine, meeting gamblers at the local coffee shop, where she works as a small-time bookie. Sitting at her corner table, Glory hears that her best friend—a nun beloved by the community—has been found dead in her apartment. When the police declare the mysterious death a suicide, Glory is convinced that there must be more to the story and, with her reluctant daughter in tow, launches a shadow investigation in a town of oil tycoons, church gossips, and a rumored voodoo priestess.
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loved it
- By Jasmin Harris on 12-26-23
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Don't Look Back
- Getting Unstuck and Moving Forward with Passion and Purpose
- By: Christine Caine
- Narrated by: Christine Caine
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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There are times in life when we look back and feel desperate to make time stand still, especially when unexpected change happens and all we want is for things to go back to how they were. But we can't stop the flow of life, and we can't stop time. And looking back doesn't enable us to go back. It just makes us stuck. In a place. In a space. In a memory. In a mindset. In a habit.
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WOW! Even Better and More Helpful Than I Expected!
- By Annie D. on 05-10-23
By: Christine Caine
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Why Won't You Apologize?
- Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts
- By: Harriet Lerner PhD
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Renowned psychologist and best-selling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language - I'm sorry - and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.
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I'm sorry
- By D. Thomas on 10-19-17
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Heavy
- By: Kiese Laymon
- Narrated by: Kiese Laymon
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Kiese Laymon is a fearless writer. In his essays, personal stories combine with piercing intellect to reflect both on the state of American society and on his experiences with abuse, which conjure conflicted feelings of shame, joy, confusion, and humiliation. Laymon invites us to consider the consequences of growing up in a nation wholly obsessed with progress yet wholly disinterested in the messy work of reckoning with where we’ve been.
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Be prepared
- By Amy Eberle on 10-30-18
By: Kiese Laymon
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Foster
- By: Claire Keegan
- Narrated by: Aoife McMahon
- Length: 1 hr and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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It is a hot summer in rural Ireland. A child is taken by her father to live with relatives on a farm, not knowing when or if she will be brought home again. In the Kinsellas' house, she finds an affection and warmth she has not known and slowly, in their care, begins to blossom. But there is something unspoken in this new household—where everything is so well tended to—and this summer must soon come to an end.
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A story that will stay with me a long time
- By CTKG on 11-01-22
By: Claire Keegan
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A Little Life
- A Novel
- By: Hanya Yanagihara
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 32 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma.
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And the hits just keep on coming…
- By Mark T. Vernon on 01-04-23
By: Hanya Yanagihara
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The Berry Pickers
- By: Amanda Peters
- Narrated by: Aaliya Warbus, Jordan Waunch
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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July 1962. Following in the tradition of Indigenous workers from Nova Scotia, a Mi’kmaq family arrives in Maine to pick blueberries for the summer. Weeks later, four-year-old Ruthie, the family’s youngest child, vanishes. She is last seen by her six-year-old brother, Joe, sitting on a favorite rock at the edge of a berry field. Joe will remain distraught by his sister’s disappearance for years to come.
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basic
- By CF on 03-04-24
By: Amanda Peters
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Good Boundaries and Goodbyes
- Loving Others Without Losing the Best of Who You Are
- By: Lysa TerKeurst
- Narrated by: Lysa TerKeurst, Jim Cress
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Stop the dysfunction of unhealthy relationships and learn biblical ways to set boundaries--and, when necessary, say goodbye. Is it unloving or selfish to set a boundary with family members or friends? Are Christians ever called to walk away from a relationship that’s no longer safe or sustainable? #1 New York Times bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst deeply understands these hard questions in the midst of relational struggles.
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A must read/listen!
- By prestonpreuss on 11-12-22
By: Lysa TerKeurst
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The Obstacle Is the Way
- The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph
- By: Ryan Holiday
- Narrated by: Ryan Holiday
- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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The book draws its inspiration from stoicism, the ancient Greek philosophy of enduring pain or adversity with perseverance and resilience. Stoics focus on the things they can control, let go of everything else, and turn every new obstacle into an opportunity to get better, stronger, tougher. As Marcus Aurelius put it nearly 2000 years ago: “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
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Brilliant book; Terrible Reader
- By Jeffrey Dickinson on 06-24-23
By: Ryan Holiday
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The Measure
- A Novel
- By: Nikki Erlick
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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It seems like any other day. You wake up, drink a cup of coffee, and head out. But today, when you open your front door, waiting for you is a small wooden box. The contents of this mysterious box tells you the exact number of years you will live. From suburban doorsteps to desert tents, every person on every continent receives the same box. In an instant, the world is thrust into a collective frenzy. Where did these boxes come from? What do they mean? Is there truth to what they promise?
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heavy content
- By Cherece on 09-12-22
By: Nikki Erlick
What listeners say about We Should Not Be Friends
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Betsey
- 05-09-23
Beautiful in every way
This book was touching, inspiring and relatable. It also educated me in so many ways about a different way to think about how and what we teach our children. It reminded me what is important to each one of us “in the grand scheme of things”, that is life. I so enjoyed every moment of this journey of friendship.
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- CTGreen
- 10-28-23
Speaking Life’s Little Epic Moments
Thank you for putting voice and awareness to impactful feelings not often confronted. The angle of the hill feels less steep already.
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- sarah jones
- 03-21-24
A beautiful and engaging story
This book was easy to get lost in. The writer tells a beautiful story of friendship between 2 unlikely men and there own personal experiences and growth through time. A very fast listen or read. I highly recommend it.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tanya Hollady
- 06-05-24
I unexpectedly loved it !
Our book club chose to read this book. I I had originally planned, NOT to read it. After weeks of procrastinating ..Something in my gut told me I should read it, so I did ; I’m so glad I did. This book brought back so many fond & beautiful memories I had shared during college. This book describes friendship in such a beautiful, inspiring & Self reflecting way. This book has challenged me to be a better friend to the ones I love.
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- Victoria L.
- 03-22-24
Great read
As a Yale law school alum, I have to admit that I was attracted to the book because of the familiarity with the place. Additionally, I was in college at precisely the same time the author was.
Setting all of that predisposition to like the book aside, I found it in an engaging read. It’s very much an homage to friendship, especially the friendships that are the unlikeliest.
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1 person found this helpful
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- James
- 03-23-23
Loved it!
I absolutely loved this book and didn’t want it to end. What a beautiful story of friendship across time.
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- Biz
- 03-06-23
Excellent storytelling and very engaging
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The thoughtfulness, openness and introspection of both Will and Maxey is beautifully portrayed. Thank you both for your willingness to share your story! And my favorite book is also Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner. Who knew I was in such good company?!
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- Username
- 06-09-24
Friendship
Wonderful story of the journey of a friendship. Finding common ground and human connection. It’s a powerful reminder of how to maintain friendships and why they are so important. Loved the audio book! Very easy to listen to and I looked forward to the next chapter.
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- Anne R. Jackowitz
- 05-28-23
Fantastic listen!
An entertaining story of a lifelong unlikely friendship. An easy listen / narrated by the author.
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- Kimberly Miller
- 05-20-23
Important lessons we all should reflect on
Enjoy the honesty - the highs and lows as well as ebbs and flows of a true enduring friendship.
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