We Should Not Be Friends
The Story of a Friendship
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Narrated by:
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Will Schwalbe
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By:
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Will Schwalbe
About this listen
A NEW YORKER BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR • A warm, funny, irresistible memoir that follows an improbable and life-changing college friendship over the course of forty years—from the best-selling author of The End of Your Life Book Club • “A rare view of male friendship.”—NPR
“Moving…salted with Schwalbe’s well-established literary intelligence and a palpable empathy.” —The New York Times Book Review
By the time Will Schwalbe was a junior at college, he had already met everyone he cared to know: the theater people, writers, visual artists and comp lit majors, and various other quirky characters including the handful of students who shared his own major, Latin and Greek. He also knew exactly who he wanted to avoid: the jocks. The jocks wore baseball caps and moved in packs, filling boisterous tables in the dining hall, and on the whole seemed to be another species entirely, one Will might encounter only at his own peril.
All this changed dramatically when Will collided with Chris Maxey, known to just about everyone as Maxey. Maxey was physically imposing, loud, and a star wrestler who was determined to become a Navy SEAL (where he would later serve for six years). Thanks to the strangely liberating circumstances of a little-known secret society at Yale, the two forged a bond that would become a mainstay of each other’s lives as they repeatedly lost and found each other and themselves in the years after graduation.
From New Haven to New York City, from Hong Kong and Panama to a remarkable school on an island in the Bahamas—through marriages and a divorce, triumphs and devastating losses—We Should Not Be Friends tracks an extraordinary friendship over decades of challenge and change. Schwalbe’s marvelous new work is, at its heart, a joyful testament to the miracle of human connection—and how if we can just get past our preconceptions, we may find some of our greatest friends.
©2023 Will Schwalbe (P)2023 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"We Should Not Be Friends offers a rare view of male friendship, which has received far less attention than platonic closeness between women . . . Seasoned editor that he is, Schwalbe knows how to structure a book for maximum effect . . . We Should Not Be Friends succeeds, to a large extent, because Maxey comes across as a great character. He also proves himself to be a warm and devoted friend. This book is Schwalbe's payback, his way of expressing his gratitude by using the tools with which he is most comfortable.”—NPR
"Moving . . . salted with Schwalbe’s well-established literary intelligence and a palpable empathy.”—The New York Times Book Review
"What I loved about Will and Maxey was watching their capacity for friendship grow as Life came at them, making them bigger and wiser human beings along the way. At the end of the book, I found myself turning the title around. Why wouldn’t they be friends?"—Martha Teichner, author of When Harry Met Minnie
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🏳️🌈 Wow! 🏳️🌈
- By Natalia Zimnoch on 10-15-19
By: Edie Windsor, and others
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Committed
- Dispatches from a Psychiatrist in Training
- By: Adam Stern MD
- Narrated by: Adam Stern MD
- Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Adam Stern was a student at a state medical school before being selected to train as a psychiatry resident at one of the most prestigious programs in the country. His new and initially intimidating classmates were high achievers from the Ivy League and other elite universities. Faculty raved about the group as though the residency program had won the lottery, nicknaming them “The Golden Class”, but would Stern ever prove that he belonged? In his memoir, Stern pulls back the curtain on the intense and emotionally challenging lessons he and his fellow doctors learned.
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Thank you for reminding me,
- By Ms D on 12-29-21
By: Adam Stern MD
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The Wanderer
- Thunder Point, Book 1
- By: Robyn Carr
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 10 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Nestled on the Oregon coast is a small town of rocky beaches and rugged charm. Locals love the land’s unspoiled beauty. Developers see it as a potential gold mine. When newcomer Hank Cooper learns he’s been left an old friend’s entire beachfront property, he finds himself with a community’s destiny in his hands. Cooper has never been a man to settle in one place, and Thunder Point was supposed to be just another quick stop. But Cooper finds himself getting involved with the town. And with Sarah Dupre, a woman as complicated as she is beautiful.
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4.5 The Wanderer Stars
- By whatcha.listening.to on 11-09-17
By: Robyn Carr
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Because I Come from a Crazy Family
- The Making of a Psychiatrist
- By: Edward M. Hallowell
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 13 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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When Edward M. Hallowell was 11, a voice out of nowhere told him he should become a psychiatrist. A mental health professional of the time would have called this psychosis. But young Edward (Ned) took it in stride, despite not quite knowing what "psychiatrist" meant. With a psychotic father, an alcoholic mother, an abusive stepfather, and two so-called learning disabilities of his own, Ned was accustomed to unpredictable behaviour from those around him and to a mind he felt he couldn't always control.
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Love and connection permeates through this book!
- By Steve Steinmetz on 06-29-18
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The Baddest Bitch in the Room
- (Explicit Version)
- By: Sophia Chang
- Narrated by: Sophia Chang
- Length: 8 hrs
- Original Recording
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Sophia Chang is a badass of the music industry. As the daughter of Korean immigrants in predominantly white suburban Vancouver, she grew up shunning the “model minority” myth. Armed with a fierce sense of independence, she moved to New York City and infiltrated the world of hip-hop, yet remained mostly in the shadows of the artists she supported. With her debut memoir, Sophia Chang is finally ready to grab the mic for herself.
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Something in the music spoke to me...
- By Tina G. on 09-30-19
By: Sophia Chang
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In the Water They Can't See You Cry
- A Memoir
- By: Amanda Beard, Rebecca Paley
- Narrated by: Tavia Gilbert
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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At the tender age of 14, Amanda Beard walked onto the pool deck at the Atlanta Olympics carrying her teddy bear, Harold, and left with two silvers and a gold medal. She competed in three more Olympic games, winning a total of seven medals, and enjoyed a lucrative modeling career on the side. At one point, she was the most downloaded female athlete on the Internet. Yet despite her astonishing career and sex-symbol status, Amanda felt unworthy of all her success. Unaware that she was suffering from clinical depression, she hid the pain beneath a megawatt smile.
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I applaud Amanda - but her editor's were lame
- By Heather on 03-10-15
By: Amanda Beard, and others
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What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding
- A Memoir
- By: Kristin Newman
- Narrated by: Kristin Newman
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Kristin Newman spent her 20s and 30s dealing with the stresses of her high-pressure job as a television comedy writer, and the anxieties of watching most of her friends get married and start families while she wrestled with her own fear of both. Not ready to settle down and yet loathe to become a sad-sack single girl, Kristin instead started traveling the world, often alone, for a few months each year, falling madly in love with attractive locals who provided moments of the love she wanted without the cost of the freedom she needed.
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Struggled to Finish
- By YITBOS on 11-21-15
By: Kristin Newman
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The Last Rescue
- How Faith and Love Saved a Navy SEAL Sniper
- By: Howard Wasdin
- Narrated by: Daniel Butler
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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The Last Rescue is an unforgettable tale of brokenness and healing, going deep into the firing line of modern warfare, through the agony of broken marriages, and onto a path of redemption and love. With a clear-eyed view of the inevitability of heartache and the power of God's faithfulness, Howard and Debbie remind us that no matter what our circumstances, we should never, ever, give up hope.
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Narrators
- By Trey Lewis on 03-27-15
By: Howard Wasdin
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Strangers Assume My Girlfriend Is My Nurse
- By: Shane Burcaw
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 4 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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With his signature acerbic wit and hilarious voice, 20-something author, blogger, and entrepreneur Shane Burcaw is back with an essay collection about living a full life in a body that many people perceive as a tragedy. From anecdotes about first introductions where people patted him on the head instead of shaking his hand, to stories of passersby mistaking his able-bodied girlfriend for a nurse, Shane tackles awkward situations and assumptions with humor and grace.
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Uplifting
- By PhinzPride on 04-12-20
By: Shane Burcaw
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Falling Apart in One Piece
- One Optimist's Journey Through the Hell of Divorce
- By: Stacy Morrison
- Narrated by: Stacy Morrison
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Just when Stacy Morrison thought she had it all, her husband of 10 years announced that he wanted a divorce. She was left alone with a new house that needed lots of work, a new baby who needed lots of attention, and a new job in the high-pressure world of New York publishing. Morrison had never been one to believe in fairy tales. As far as she was concerned, happy endings were the product of the kind of ambition and hard work that had propelled her to the top of her profession.
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so helpful
- By jessica ball on 11-10-15
By: Stacy Morrison
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Spare
- By: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Narrated by: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.
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Gutterball!
- By Jimmyjoejangles on 01-10-23
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Wildflower
- By: Drew Barrymore
- Narrated by: Drew Barrymore
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Wildflower is a portrait of Drew's life in stories as she looks back on the adventures, challenges, and incredible experiences of her earlier years. It includes tales of living on her own at 14 (and how laundry may have saved her life), getting stuck in a gas station overhang on a cross-country road trip, saying good-bye to her father in a way only he could have understood, and many more adventures and lessons that have led her to the successful, happy, and healthy place she is today.
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Hold the shrieking !
- By Dawne on 11-27-15
By: Drew Barrymore
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The Last Post
- By: Renée Carlino
- Narrated by: Avery Caris, Stephen Dexter
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Laya Marston’s husband, Cameron, a daredevil enthusiast, was the complete opposite of her, ready and willing to dive off a cliff-face or parachute across a canyon - and Laya loved him for it. But she was different: pragmatic, regimented, devoted to her career and to supporting Cameron from the sidelines of his death-defying feats. Opposites attract, right? But when Cameron dies tragically, Laya becomes lost in denial, living in the delusion that Cameron will come back to her.
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I really wanted to like this
- By Amazon Customer on 12-21-21
By: Renée Carlino
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Becoming Duchess Goldblatt
- By: anonymous
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, Lyle Lovett, J. Smith-Cameron
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Becoming Duchess Goldblatt is two stories: that of the reclusive real-life writer who created a fictional character out of loneliness and thin air, and that of the magical Duchess Goldblatt herself, a bright light in the darkness of social media. Fans around the world are drawn to Her Grace's voice, her wit, her life-affirming love for all humanity, and the fun and friendship of the community that's sprung up around her.
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Oh Dear Duchess!
- By Rebecca Lindroos on 07-20-20
By: anonymous
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Everything we do in life is for love. Why? I don't know. Maybe love is what keeps us going. Maybe love is the means and ends to this life. Maybe the universe runs on love. Whatever may be the reason, love is what we all demand, and love is what we all want. But very often, we find ourselves without love. Some of us have lost love, some of us have lost ourselves in love and some of us don't believe in love. And for so many of us, it's worse because we don't feel we deserve to be loved. Right? I know how it feels to feel unloved for many years.
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Listen and be swept away!
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Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters Devotional
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A strong father figure is the single most important element in a girl's life - he is her spiritual guide and protector from her early childhood to the day he proudly walks her down the aisle. In the lovely and comforting Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters Devotional, Dr. Meeker instills in men the knowledge they need to be the kind of fathers their daughters dearly need.
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Faith-based; great if you're a believer.
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What Your Childhood Memories Say About You
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What are your earliest childhood memories? Were you afraid of the dark? Can you remember a particularly embarrassing moment? Those memories - along with the words and emotions you use to describe them - hold the key to understanding the person you are today! Drawing on examples from his own life, the lives of celebrities, as well as case studies from his private practice, renowned psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman helps you apply these same techniques to uncover why you are the way you are.
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Fun and thought provoking...
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The Behavior Gap
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Why do we lose money? It's easy to blame the economy or the financial markets - but the real trouble lies in the decisions we make. As a financial planner, Carl Richards grew frustrated watching people he cared about make the same mistakes over and over. They were letting emotion get in the way of smart financial decisions. He named this phenomenon - the distance between what we should do and what we actually do - "the behavior gap". He found that once people understood it, they started doing much better.
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Average across the board
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By: Carl Richards
What listeners say about We Should Not Be Friends
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Betsey
- 05-09-23
Beautiful in every way
This book was touching, inspiring and relatable. It also educated me in so many ways about a different way to think about how and what we teach our children. It reminded me what is important to each one of us “in the grand scheme of things”, that is life. I so enjoyed every moment of this journey of friendship.
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- CTGreen
- 10-28-23
Speaking Life’s Little Epic Moments
Thank you for putting voice and awareness to impactful feelings not often confronted. The angle of the hill feels less steep already.
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- sarah jones
- 03-21-24
A beautiful and engaging story
This book was easy to get lost in. The writer tells a beautiful story of friendship between 2 unlikely men and there own personal experiences and growth through time. A very fast listen or read. I highly recommend it.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Tanya Hollady
- 06-05-24
I unexpectedly loved it !
Our book club chose to read this book. I I had originally planned, NOT to read it. After weeks of procrastinating ..Something in my gut told me I should read it, so I did ; I’m so glad I did. This book brought back so many fond & beautiful memories I had shared during college. This book describes friendship in such a beautiful, inspiring & Self reflecting way. This book has challenged me to be a better friend to the ones I love.
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- Victoria L.
- 03-22-24
Great read
As a Yale law school alum, I have to admit that I was attracted to the book because of the familiarity with the place. Additionally, I was in college at precisely the same time the author was.
Setting all of that predisposition to like the book aside, I found it in an engaging read. It’s very much an homage to friendship, especially the friendships that are the unlikeliest.
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1 person found this helpful
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- James
- 03-23-23
Loved it!
I absolutely loved this book and didn’t want it to end. What a beautiful story of friendship across time.
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- Biz
- 03-06-23
Excellent storytelling and very engaging
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The thoughtfulness, openness and introspection of both Will and Maxey is beautifully portrayed. Thank you both for your willingness to share your story! And my favorite book is also Crossing to Safety by Wallace Stegner. Who knew I was in such good company?!
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- Username
- 06-09-24
Friendship
Wonderful story of the journey of a friendship. Finding common ground and human connection. It’s a powerful reminder of how to maintain friendships and why they are so important. Loved the audio book! Very easy to listen to and I looked forward to the next chapter.
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- Anne R. Jackowitz
- 05-28-23
Fantastic listen!
An entertaining story of a lifelong unlikely friendship. An easy listen / narrated by the author.
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- Kimberly Miller
- 05-20-23
Important lessons we all should reflect on
Enjoy the honesty - the highs and lows as well as ebbs and flows of a true enduring friendship.
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