I Could Live Here Forever
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Megan Trout
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By:
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Hanna Halperin
About this listen
A BELLETRIST BOOK CLUB PICK
“Halperin’s radiant second novel walks the fine line between the longing for couplehood and the torture of codependency. . . . Let the rapturous intimacy and gut-churning ups and downs begin!”—Leigh Haber, The New York Times Book Review
“I read this book in three days and canceled plans to finish it. It is heart-wrenching and relatable in so many ways.”—Emma Roberts
By the award-winning author of Something Wild, a gripping portrait of a tumultuous, consuming relationship between a young woman and a recovering addict
When Leah Kempler meets Charlie Nelson in line at the grocery store, their attraction is immediate and intense. Charlie, with his big feelings and grand proclamations of love, captivates her completely. But there are peculiarities of his life—he’s older than her but lives with his parents; he meets up with a friend at odd hours of the night; he sleeps a lot and always seems to be coming down with something. He confesses that he’s a recovering heroin addict, but he promises Leah that he’s never going to use again.
Leah's friends and family are concerned. As she finds herself getting deeper into an isolated relationship, one of manipulation and denial, the truth about Charlie feels as blurry as their time together. Even when Charlie’s behavior becomes increasingly erratic, when he starts to make Leah feel unsafe, she can’t help but feel that what exists between them is destined. Charlie is wide open, boyish, and unbearably handsome. The bounds of Leah’s own pain—and love—are so deep that she can’t see him spiraling into self-destruction.
Hanna Halperin writes with aching vulnerability and intimacy, sharply attuned to Leah’s desire for an all-consuming, compulsive connection. I Could Live Here Forever exposes the chasm between perception and truth to tell an intoxicating story of one woman’s relationship with an addict, the accompanying swirl of compassion and codependence, and her enduring search for love and wholeness.
©2023 Hanna Halperin (P)2023 Penguin AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Aching and tender. . . . Halperin’s radiant second novel walks the fine line between the longing for couplehood and the torture of codependency. . . . Halperin writes from a millennial point of view, probing themes of social anxiety and intense trepidation about the future. But Halperin’s take on love sets her apart: As misguided as Leah’s feelings for Charlie may seem, they are pure and hopeful — about as untainted by cynicism as it is possible to be.” —Leigh Haber, The New York Times Book Review
“A compelling new version of the addiction novel. . . . I Could Live Here Forever brings readers deep into the world of addicts and those who love them. . . . Like addiction, and codependence, and internalized misogyny, I Could Live Here Forever is a wrenching story that’s been lived and told before. Halperin does us a service by sharing her version of it, entertaining, warning and educating us with her all-too-accurate novel.” —Meredith Maran, The Washington Post
“This novel is so good and follows closely on the heels of Hanna Halperin's prior novel (which I also loved), Something Wild. There's just something about Halperin's writing style and how she captures difficult, troubled characters.” —Zibby Owens, Good Morning America
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beware
- By keith y. on 10-03-19
By: Cambria Brockman
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The Last Post
- By: Renée Carlino
- Narrated by: Avery Caris, Stephen Dexter
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Laya Marston’s husband, Cameron, a daredevil enthusiast, was the complete opposite of her, ready and willing to dive off a cliff-face or parachute across a canyon - and Laya loved him for it. But she was different: pragmatic, regimented, devoted to her career and to supporting Cameron from the sidelines of his death-defying feats. Opposites attract, right? But when Cameron dies tragically, Laya becomes lost in denial, living in the delusion that Cameron will come back to her.
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I really wanted to like this
- By Amazon Customer on 12-21-21
By: Renée Carlino
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Picture Us in the Light
- By: Kelly Loy Gilbert
- Narrated by: James Chen
- Length: 11 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When Danny discovers a taped-up box in his father's closet filled with old letters and a file on a powerful Silicon Valley family, he realizes there's much more to his family's past than he ever imagined. Danny has been an artist for as long as he can remember, and it seems his path is set, with a scholarship to RISD and his family's blessing to pursue the career he's always dreamed of. Still, contemplating a future without his best friend, Harry Wong, by his side makes Danny feel a panic he can barely put into words.
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A poignant, touching novel for the Asian American millennial
- By Jenny on 06-30-23
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The First Husband
- By: Laura Dave
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Klett
- Length: 7 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Annie Adams is days away from her 32nd birthday and thinks she has finally found some happiness. She visits the world's most interesting places for her syndicated travel column and she's happily cohabiting with her movie director boyfriend Nick in Los Angeles. But when Nick comes home from a meeting with his therapist (aka "futures counselor") and announces that he's taking a break from their relationship so he can pursue a woman from his past, the place Annie had come to call home is shattered.
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Meh
- By Bernice Holland on 05-16-21
By: Laura Dave
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Where I Left Her
- By: Amber Garza
- Narrated by: Vivienne Leheny
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Whitney had some misgivings when she dropped her increasingly moody teenage daughter, Amelia, off at Lauren’s house. She’d never met the parents, and usually she’d go in, but Amelia clearly wasn’t going to let something so humiliating happen, so instead Whitney waved to her daughter before pulling away from the little house with the roses in front. But when she goes back the next day, an elderly couple answers the door - Amelia and Lauren aren’t there, and this couple swears they never were, that she’s at the wrong house.
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Kept me guessing!!
- By Sheppardspie on 09-13-21
By: Amber Garza
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Missing Parts
- By: Lucinda Berry
- Narrated by: Abby Craden
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Growing up abandoned by her father and raised by a single mother, Celeste was determined to create the perfect family - but even perfect families have secrets. Her days are filled with a rewarding career, a devoted husband, and her four-year-old daughter. Celeste is the only one who knows the precarious house of cards her family is built upon - until the day her daughter falls critically ill. Then her world quickly spirals out of control, her secret threatening to destroy her marriage, family, reputation, and sanity.
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SPOILER ALERT. Sigh...
- By Kelly on 10-08-20
By: Lucinda Berry
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Surfside Sisters
- A Novel
- By: Nancy Thayer
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A Nantucket woman returns home to find that reunions aren’t always simple, in this heartwarming novel from the New York Times bestselling author. Keely Green always dreamed of leaving the beautiful shores of Nantucket to become a writer. Now she’s a bestselling novelist living in New York City, attending glamorous cocktail parties, mingling with the literary elite, and dating a charming pediatric surgeon. But a moment of clarity strikes when Keely’s boyfriend suddenly wants to settle down and her editor rejects her latest novel.
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Too fluffy!
- By LoRe Bolling on 07-10-19
By: Nancy Thayer
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Reprieve
- A Novel
- By: James Han Mattson
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
On April 27, 1997, four contestants make it to the final cell of the Quigley House, a full-contact haunted escape room in Lincoln, Nebraska, made famous for its monstrosities, booby-traps, and ghoulishly costumed actors. If the group can endure these horrors without shouting the safe word, “reprieve,” they’ll win a substantial cash prize - a startling feat accomplished only by one other group in the house’s long history. But before they can complete the challenge, a man breaks into the cell and kills one of the contestants.
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creepy escape room story
- By Barbara S on 11-18-21
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The Last Place You Look
- By: Kristen Lepionka
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Nobody knows what happened to Sarah Cook. The beautiful blonde teenager disappeared 15 years ago, the same night her parents were brutally murdered in their suburban Ohio home. Her boyfriend, Brad Stockton - black and from the wrong side of the tracks - was convicted of the murders and is now on death row. Though he's maintained his innocence all along, the clock is running out. His execution is only weeks away when his devoted sister insists she spied Sarah at an area gas station.
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Alcoholic PI
- By Karwyn on 05-17-18
By: Kristen Lepionka
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He Came in with It
- A Portrait of Motherhood and Madness
- By: Miriam Feldman
- Narrated by: Ann Richardson
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In an idyllic Los Angeles neighborhood, where generations enjoy deep roots in old homes, the O’Rourke family fits right in. Miriam and Craig are both artists and their four children carry on the legacy. When their teenage son, Nick, is diagnosed with schizophrenia, a tumultuous decade ensues in which the family careens off the conventional course. Like the 10 Biblical plagues, they are hit by one catastrophe after another: violence, evictions, arrests, a suicide attempt, a near-drowning - even cancer and a brain tumor - play against the backdrop of a wild teenage bacchanal.
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So Beautifully Written
- By Michael on 08-01-22
By: Miriam Feldman
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Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self
- By: Danielle Evans
- Narrated by: Daniel Deadwyler, Jeanette Illidge, Je Nie Fleming, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Striking in their emotional immediacy, the stories in Before You Suffocate Your Own Fool Self are based in a world where inequality is reality but where the insecurities of adolescence and young adulthood, and the tensions within family and the community, are sometimes the biggest complicating forces in one's sense of identity and the choices one makes.
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things we do to oursekves
- By Jamintel on 02-06-23
By: Danielle Evans
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Bad Habits
- By: Amy Gentry
- Narrated by: Rebecca Lowman
- Length: 10 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Claire "Mac" Woods—a professor enjoying her newfound hotshot status at an academic conference—finally has the acceptance and admiration she has long craved. But at the conference's hotel bar, Mac is surprised to run into a face from a past she'd rather forget: the moneyed, effortlessly perfect Gwendolyn Whitney, Mac's foil, rival, and former best friend.
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Outstanding!
- By SLuzaz on 02-15-21
By: Amy Gentry
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You Say It First
- By: Katie Cotugno
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie, Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
One conversation can change everything. Meg has her entire life set up perfectly: She and her best friend, Emily, plan to head to Cornell together in the fall, and she works at a voter registration call center in her Philadelphia suburb. But everything changes when one of those calls connects her to a stranger from small-town Ohio.
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Good for a placeholder
- By KJzCola on 07-16-21
By: Katie Cotugno
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The Better Version of Me
- By: Marni Mann
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer, Erin Mallon, Jacob Morgan
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At forty-two, Jesse Black had the perfect life. Even after surviving her father’s passing, she still had everything she dreamed of—two beautiful children and a husband madly in love with her. She was the owner of one of the most successful shapewear companies in the country. There was even a white picket fence around their home in Vermont. But underneath all that sparkle, shine, and achievement, Jesse was harboring a secret. A secret that would rip their perfect family apart and alter their lives forever—if it was ever revealed.
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✫✫ 5 Stars ✫✫
- By ❤️Cyndi Marie❤️🎧Audiobook Addicts🎧 on 07-31-19
By: Marni Mann
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Lone Stars
- By: Justin Deabler
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch
- Length: 10 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Lone Stars follows the arc of four generations of a Texan family in a changing America. Julian Warner, a father at last, wrestles with a question his husband posed: what will you tell our son about the people you came from, now that they're gone? Finding the answers takes Julian back in time to Eisenhower's immigration border raids, an epistolary love affair during the Vietnam War, crumbling marriages, queer migrations to Cambridge and New York, up to the disorienting polarization of Obama's second term.
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Read for bookclub but fell in Love
- By Ericka Lawson on 09-11-22
By: Justin Deabler
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The narrator r of this was amazing
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Good writing but maybe pass if married
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POWERFUL! HIDDEN GEM
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Second person POV releases poignant perspective
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Mallory is a freshman in college when she meets the woman. She sees her for the first time at the university’s gym, immediately entranced by this elegant, older person, whom she later learns is married and works at the school. Before long, they begin a clandestine affair. Self-possessed, successful, brilliant, and aloof, the woman absolutely consumes Mallory, who is still reeling from her mother’s death a few months earlier.
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Poignant and Moving
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CHICAGO, SOMETIME— Two people meet in the Art Institute by chance. Prior to their encounter, he is a doctoral student who manages his destructive thoughts with compulsive calculations about time travel; she is a bipolar counterfeit artist, undergoing court-ordered psychotherapy. By the end of the story, these things will still be true. But this is not a story about endings.
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Blown Away!
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Everything I Know About Love
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The wildly funny, occasionally heart-breaking internationally best-selling memoir about growing up, growing older, and learning to navigate friendships, jobs, loss, and love along the ride. When it comes to the trials and triumphs of becoming an adult, journalist and former Sunday Times columnist Dolly Alderton has seen and tried it all.
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Loved it
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Death Valley
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A woman arrives alone at a Best Western seeking respite from an emptiness that plagues her. She has fled to the California high desert to escape a cloud of sorrow—for both her father in the ICU and a husband whose illness is worsening. What the motel provides, however, is not peace but a path discovered on a nearby hike. Out along the sun-scorched trail, the narrator encounters a towering cactus whose size and shape mean it should not exist in California. Yet the cactus is there, with a gash through its side that beckons like a familiar door.
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Broder is the perfect narrator!
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By: Melissa Broder
What listeners say about I Could Live Here Forever
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- Cindy Cooksey
- 10-16-23
Very slow moving
This was unfortunately so slow and hard to get through. It was hard to be drawn in.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Peter
- 10-04-24
Very relatable
This book messed me up! If you’ve ever been in a relationship with an addict this book will hit you were it hurts. Very good book though but be mindful there is many NSFW scenes
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- Molly Siegel
- 05-17-23
Very well written
Represents the experiences of this generation well, the generation of iPhones, tindr, and the opioid epidemic
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- Jennifer
- 08-26-24
The accuracy in the depiction of the roller coaster of feelings that occurs in a doomed and dysfunctional relationship
This beautiful story breaks your heart yet at the same time confirms every feeling, thought and frustrating experience of those who saw remnants of themselves in Leah because they too had loved someone destined for destruction
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- Anonymous User
- 11-28-23
A little slow but painfully real
This story is really slow. I found the first chapter hard to get through, especially because I didn’t enjoy the super breathy narration style.
But I am glad I stuck with it. I don’t know that I can say I ENJOYED this book, more that I felt it in a way that was sometimes incredibly uncomfortable, but I think that’s the point.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-03-23
Profound
I am stunned with the way Hanna weaves small, realistic moments into something grandly profound. We live in an epidemic of addiction, so you are sure to have known a relationship like the one at the center of this book — or been in one yourself. So much is to be learned from this book. And I loved the setting at the creative writing program of University of Wisconsin Madison. It makes for a very meta experience of reading (or listening). But the best part— the book offers mini crash courses on love, creativity, pain, addiction, ambition, and hope. After reading her last two books, I am now a Hanna Halperin fan forever.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Brooke
- 07-11-23
So Very Slow
Got to chapter 11. Way too slow for me. Felt I was like walking through mud.
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- Brooke
- 06-30-23
Exuberant and immersive experience
"I Could Live Here Forever" by Hanna Halperin is a mesmerizing exploration of love, addiction, and the pursuit of connection. Megan Trout's exceptional voice acting elevates the story, infusing it with an infectious energy that lingers long after the final page.
Trout's talent radiates throughout the narrative, breathing life into the captivating character of Leah Kempler. Her voice dances with passion, expertly capturing Leah's desires for a profound bond. With a voice filled with hope and determination, she takes listeners on a journey through the blurred lines of perception and truth, reminding us that amidst the chaos of life, there is always room for redemption.
Trout's depiction of Charlie Nelson is extraordinary, effortlessly navigating the complexities of his character. Her seamless transitions between his charming persona and outward struggles make his path to recovery all the more compelling. The chemistry between Trout's portrayal of Leah and Charlie crackles with electricity, enveloping the listener in a whirlwind of emotions.
Halperin's prose, brimming with heartfelt vulnerability and introspection, finds a perfect counterpart in Trout's vibrant performance, resulting in an exuberant and immersive experience.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Meg
- 07-15-23
A solid listen
I really enjoyed this book. As the partner of someone in recovery (8 years fully sober, fortunately), a lot of it rang true. The narrator created a good performance, particularly of the female characters. The twists and turns of addiction had me reacting aloud inadvertently as I read, so clearly it held my attention!
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- Anonymous User
- 06-17-23
Most awful narration
The book is fine but the narrator makes it insufferable! She emotes in every single sentence. Absolute torture.
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