The Way I Used to Be
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Narrated by:
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Rebekkah Ross
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By:
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Amber Smith
About this listen
New York Times bestseller! In the tradition of Speak, Amber Smith's extraordinary debut novel “is a heart-twisting, but ultimately hopeful, exploration of how pain can lead to strength” (The Boston Globe).
Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.
What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.
Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, all while learning to embrace the power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.
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Most high school sports teams have rivalries with other Schools. At Hamilton High, it’s a civil war: the football team versus the soccer team. And for her part, Lissa is sick of it. Her quarterback boyfriend, Randy, is always ditching her to go pick a fight or haze a freshman. And on three separate occasions Randy’s car has been egged while he and Lissa were inside, making out. She is done competing with a bunch of sweaty boys for her own boyfriend’s attention. Lissa decides to end the rivalry once and for all: She and the other players’ girlfriends go on a hookup strike.
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A great read
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By: Kody Keplinger
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The DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend
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Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn’t think she’s the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She’s also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her “the Duff,” she throws her Coke in his face. But things aren’t so great at home right now, and Bianca is desperate for a distraction. She ends up kissing Wesley. Worse, she likes it.
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Different (and better) story from the movie
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By: Kody Keplinger
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Loving Mr. Daniels
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It was easy to call us forbidden and harder to call us soul mates. Yet I believed we were both. Forbidden soul mates. When I arrived in Edgewood, Wisconsin, I didn't plan to find him. I didn't plan to stumble into Joe's bar and have Daniel's music stir up my emotions. I had no clue that his voice would make my hurts forget their own sorrow. I had no idea that my happiness would remember its own bliss.
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LOSS, LONGING, LIFE.. & FORBIDDEN LOVE
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 11-15-16
By: Brittainy Cherry
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Rainbow Boys
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- Narrated by: Alston Brown
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Jason Carrillo is a jock with a steady girlfriend, but he can't stop dreaming about sex...with other guys. Kyle Meeks doesn't look gay, but he is. And he hopes he never has to tell anyone - especially his parents. Nelson Glassman is "out" to the entire world, but he can't tell the boy he loves that he wants to be more than just friends. Three teenage boys, coming of age and out of the closet.
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Mixed feelings
- By Holli on 05-04-19
By: Alex Sanchez
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Made You Up
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- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 9 hrs and 7 mins
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Reality, it turns out, is often not what you perceive it to be - sometimes, there really is someone out to get you. For fans of Silver Linings Playbook and Liar, this thought-provoking debut tells the story of Alex, a high school senior - and the ultimate unreliable narrator - unable to tell the difference between real life and delusion. Alex fights a daily battle to figure out what is real and what is not.
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A DISGRACE TO AUTHORS AND MENTAL HEALTH EVERYWHERE
- By Amazon Customer on 06-27-18
By: Francesca Zappia
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Art & Soul
- By: Brittainy C. Cherry
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Falling in love wasn't the plan. But how could I resist his promises of hope? Of forgiveness? Of a future I had stopped dreaming of? We were shattered. We were scarred. We were something strange and beautiful. We were two lost souls holding on to the only thing that could keep us together. Each other.
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5 Soul Stars
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My Favorite Mistake
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Two secrets. One bet. Who will break first? Taylor Caldwell can't decide if she wants to kiss her new college roommate or punch him. On the one hand, Hunter Zaccadelli is a handsome blue-eyed bundle of charm. On the other, he's a tattooed, guitar-playing bad boy. Maybe that's why Taylor's afraid of falling in love with him, or anyone else. She doesn't want to get burned, so she needs him gone before it's too late.
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Mega Swoon Worthy New Adult Romance
- By Jordy ♡♡♡♡ on 08-28-13
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Teach Me to Forget
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Ellery wants to die. Nothing is going right. Her younger sister is dead, and her family is in a shambles. But on the day that she tries to end it all, even the gun won't work. When she tries to return it, she's intercepted by a security guard who also happens to be a boy in one of her classes, Colter Sawyer. Colter recognizes Ellery's desperation and begins working hard to earn her trust.
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Darkly Romantic
- By Clayton McEwen on 01-21-17
By: Erica M. Chapman
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Last Christmas
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Story
Ariana Osgood has everything an Easton Academy girl could want: straight A's, the perfect boyfriend, and a coveted spot in exclusive Billings House. But on the first night of Christmas vacation, a blizzard traps her on campus with irresistible bad-boy Thomas Pearson. Alone. As the snow transforms Easton into a winter wonderland, Ariana finds herself falling for Thomas. But someone is watching their clandestine romance unfold, someone intent on turning their holiday weekend into a nightmare.
By: Kate Brian
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The Last Time We Say Goodbye
- By: Cynthia Hand
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The last time Lex was happy, it was before. When she had a family that was whole. A boyfriend she loved. Friends who didn't look at her like she might break down at any moment. Now she's just the girl whose brother killed himself. And it feels like that's all she'll ever be. As Lex starts to put her life back together, she tries to block out what happened the night Tyler died. But there's a secret she hasn't told anyone--a text Tyler sent that could have changed everything.
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Such sweet sorrow
- By Lesaly on 04-26-15
By: Cynthia Hand
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Ryan's Bed
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Performance
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I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident. I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed - her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should've left... I didn’t. I didn’t jump out. I didn’t get embarrassed. I relaxed. And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved. I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept. The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could've stayed forever, I would have. He became my sanctuary. Because - four hours earlier - my twin sister killed herself.
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One of Tijan's Better Books!
- By Ryan Mauricio on 06-16-18
By: Tijan
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Let's Talk About Love
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Alice had her whole summer planned. Nonstop all-you-can-eat buffets while marathoning her favorite TV shows (best friends totally included) with the smallest dash of adulting - working at the library to pay her share of the rent. The only thing missing from her perfect plan? Her girlfriend (who ended things when Alice confessed she's asexual). Alice is done with dating - no thank you, do not pass go, stick a fork in her, done. But then Alice meets Takumi and she can't stop thinking about him or the rom com-grade romance feels she did not ask for.
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good ya/na story
- By AudioBookHoe on 07-19-18
By: Claire Kann
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To the Green-Eyed Lovebird: We met 15 years ago, almost to the day, when I moved my stuff into the NYU dorm room next to yours at Senior House. You called us fast friends. I like to think it was more. We lived on nothing but the excitement of finding ourselves through music (you were obsessed with Jeff Buckley), photography (I couldn’t stop taking pictures of you), hanging out in Washington Square Park, and all the weird things we did to make money. I learned more about myself that year than any other. Yet, somehow, it all fell apart.
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What listeners say about The Way I Used to Be
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Anonymous User
- 08-28-19
You should read it.
I listened to this audiobook in two days. Once I started it, I knew I couldn’t put it down anymore until I was done. I haven’t slept for an entire night, this is how good the book was.
First of all, I really thought the performance was perfect. The voice was smooth, and really helped to picture each scenes as if in reality.
The book is amazingly written although rape is quite difficult to write about. I felt it was well handled.
I must admit I cried throughout the entire book, but I still consider that it is such an important issue. Everyone one, including men, should read it only to better understand what can go through the mind of someone who was raped.
Plus I really enjoyed how Eden’s character was really complex, her mistakes only made her more reliable.
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Overall
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- FA
- 11-21-16
Intense
This book frustrated me. I found myself often yelling, "come on! Just tell them!" Or "Be honest with josh! Tell him you love him". Her relationship with josh had me tied in and made me angry sometimes when things didn't go nh way, but that's what makes this a great book. The way that a book can tie me in so quickly and having me feel real emotions over the story just shows how good it is. In my opinion, this was honest, brutally honest. The really shows how sexual assault can effect people and how hard it is to tell, especially when you know the person. The way I used to be had be tied in and I couldn't put it down. It was a great story and experience.
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- Amazon Customer
- 10-09-20
Great story
This story was great. I felt like I was listening to a story so similar to my own. Thankful for this.
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- Jasmine b.
- 03-11-22
Love this book
I love this book. I bought it along time ago and read it and then let a few friends read it. I can reread this book all the time
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- Erica
- 06-06-21
Started at 5AM
I started reading at 5AM, and was done by 3PM. This book was so good. Only the 2nd time I’ve ever done that before. I just couldn’t put it down. Great ending. True message of finding the strength you didn’t know you had.
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- Allyson Schultz
- 08-22-22
If I hadn't been listening around people...
I would have been in tears by the end. but of course I didn't want to be the person who cried at the end of a book in a room full of onlookers.
The story feels so real. It never feels like you're being talked down to or like it's trying to glamorize the subject. It's definitely worth listening to; it just might be best to sit and listen to the last couple hours of the book alone with a box of tissues.
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- Kaytee Merchant 🐞
- 09-03-22
such an important story
this broke my heart to read but I think everyone should read this book. life changing.
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- Taylor
- 11-24-22
It was a really nice listen
This book should definitely come with a trigger warning. But I really enjoyed it. Would recommend
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- Audrey
- 01-04-23
Riveting
In 9th grade I remember reading Speak. It’s a book that still haunts me. The Way I Used to Be reminds me a lot of speak. The kind of book you read one time and can’t reread due to the nature of the content. This book is well written and I think does a good job of portraying sexual abuse and the aftermath from the victims perspective.
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- Jazmin Rodriguez
- 01-16-23
Heartbreakingly true
I listened to this without even knowing what it was going to be about and I could not stop listening after just a few minutes. Trigger warnings needed. This book broke me knowing so many women live with what Eden endured.
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