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I Was Told There'd Be Cake
- Narrated by: Sloane Crosley
- Length: 6 hrs and 8 mins
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Publisher's summary
Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory. From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions - or perhaps because of them.
Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character that's aiming for the stars but hits the ceiling and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is.
I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.
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An instant New York Times bestseller, I'll Show Myself Out is the eagerly anticipated second essay collection from Jessi Klein, author of the acclaimed debut You’ll Grow Out of It.
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“Sloane Crosley is another mordant and mercurial wit from the realm of Sedaris and Vowell. What makes her so funny is that she seems to be telling the truth, helplessly." (Jonathan Lethem)
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By the time Wendy Lawless turned 17, she'd known for quite some time that she didn't have a normal mother. But that didn't stop her from wanting one.... Georgann Rea didn't bake cookies or go to PTA meetings; she wore a mink coat and always had a lit Dunhill plugged into her cigarette holder. She went through men like Kleenex, and didn't like dogs or children. Georgann had the ice queen beauty of a Hitchcock heroine and the cold heart to match.
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Not an Engaging Listen
- By Sobriquet on 03-13-13
By: Wendy Lawless
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The Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club
- True Tales from a Magnificent and Clumsy Life
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- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
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Introducing Laurie Notaro, the leader of the Idiot Girls' Action-Adventure Club. Every day she fearlessly rises from bed to defeat the evil machinations of dolts, dimwits, and creepy boyfriends - and that's before she even puts on a bra. For the past 10 years, Notaro has been entertaining Phoenix newspaper readers with her wildly amusing autobiographical exploits and unique life experiences.
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Sweet and funny
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By: Laurie Notaro
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
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Story
Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Miss Fortune
- Fresh Perspectives on Having It All from Someone Who Is Not Okay
- By: Lauren Weedman
- Narrated by: Lauren Weedman
- Length: 8 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Lauren Weedman is not okay. She's living what should be the good life in sunny Los Angeles. After a gig as a correspondent with The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, she scored parts in blockbuster movies, which led to memorable recurring roles on HBO's Hung and Looking. She had a loving husband and an adorable baby boy. In these comedic essays, she turns a piercingly observant, darkly funny lens on the ways her life is actually not okay.
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Good
- By Ajules29 on 04-02-16
By: Lauren Weedman
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Breaking Night
- A Memoir of Forgiveness, Survival, and My Journey from Homeless to Harvard
- By: Liz Murray
- Narrated by: Liz Murray
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Liz Murray was born to loving but drug-addicted parents in the Bronx. In school she was taunted for her dirty clothing and lice-infested hair, eventually skipping so many classes that she was put into a girls' home. At age 15, Liz found herself on the streets when her family finally unraveled. She learned to scrape by, foraging for food and riding subways all night to have a warm place to sleep. Then, when Liz's mother died of AIDS, she decided to take control of her own destiny.
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unbelievably inspiring
- By Amazon Customer on 03-17-12
By: Liz Murray
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Everything Is Awful
- And Other Observations
- By: Matt Bellassai
- Narrated by: Matt Bellassai
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.
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Best Audio Book I’ve heard ever.
- By M on 11-23-17
By: Matt Bellassai
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Why I Hate Green Beans
- And Other Confessions About Relationships, Reality TV, and How We See Ourselves
- By: Lincee Ray
- Narrated by: Lincee Ray
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
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If there is one thing Lincee Ray has learned over the years, it's that the majority of women on the planet struggle with insecurities. Our skinny jeans mock us. Our just-trying-to-help mothers are just driving us crazy. Our social media feeds taunt us with everyone else's picture-perfect lives. It's enough to send you on a gummy-bear bender while binge-watching Friends reruns and not showering for a week. Lincee knows. She's been there. Right there, in fact. Gummy bears and all.
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Perfect in every way!
- By Anonymous User on 10-19-22
By: Lincee Ray
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How to Be a Grown-Up
- By: Emma McLaughlin, Nicola Kraus
- Narrated by: Tara Sands
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Rory McGovern is entering the prime of her life when her husband loses his dream job and announces he feels like "taking a break". Rory was already spread thin and now, without warning, she is single-parenting two kids, juggling their science projects, flu season, and pajama days, while coming to terms with her disintegrating marriage. Without Blake, her only hope is to accept a full-time position working for two full-time 20-somethings.
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Performance
- By Jill on 02-10-16
By: Emma McLaughlin, and others
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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I Like You Just the Way I Am
- Stories About Me and Some Other People
- By: Jenny Mollen
- Narrated by: Jenny Mollen
- Length: 7 hrs
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Jenny Mollen is an actress and writer living in Los Angeles. She is also a wife, married to a famous guy (which is annoying only because he gets free shit and she doesn't). She doesn't want much from life. Just to be loved - by everybody: her parents, her dogs, her ex-boyfriends, her ex-boyfriends' dogs, her husband, her husband's ex-girlfriends, her husband's ex-girlfriend's new boyfriends, etc.
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Hmm...Why am I listening to a bio of Jenny Mollen?
- By Elisabeth W. on 09-16-15
By: Jenny Mollen
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Lie Still
- A Novel
- By: Julia Heaberlin
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Nursing the faded scars of a long-held trauma, Emily Page and her husband, awaiting the arrival of their first child, move from New York City to the uber-wealthy Clairmont, Texas. There, Emily is swept into a world of opulent privilege and shifting loyalties. But the secrets she keeps follow her south, and with them comes the danger that her new friends can't protect her from, and her new enemies will not hesitate to use to destroy her once and for all.
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Lie Still
- By Mary K on 06-27-17
By: Julia Heaberlin
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What listeners say about I Was Told There'd Be Cake
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Leila Abel
- 07-19-23
Meh
I just couldn’t sit through all the short stories. The endings left me feeling like something was missing.
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- Eleanor
- 09-20-12
So self-involved
Any additional comments?
I am a big This American Life fan, and ended up finding this audiobook because Sloane Crosley and David Rakoff (whose work I love) did a Thalia Book Club event together. Crosley is much younger that Rakoff and it really shows. The tone of this book aims for self-deprecating but ends up at self-involved. I grew up in the suburbs and have spent some time living in New York, so you would think I would relate to Sloane, but I can't. The character she builds in this book is so shallow it's kind of hard to listen to. That being said, they are some extremely funny passages.
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13 people found this helpful
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- David
- 11-17-12
Blithely Witty and Charming
The essay seems to be enjoying a resurgence these days with such luminaries as David Sedaris, Sarah Vowell and (the now late) David Rakoff. These authors are trend-setters in their own right, mixing personal revelation with the ability to turn a brilliant phrase and a keen sense of social perception. Enter Sloane Crosley to that growing congress of writers. She is a genuinely funny writer of the dysfunctional and unapologetically self-deprecating variety. While she never goes too far and always remains apropos, no subject seems too private or sacred for her to share it with us. And there is always a point, even in the longest of the essays, and the thrilling part of encountering her writing was discovering how she eventually manages to tie everything together in a way that never feels forced or artificial. These are the kinds of stories you might hear from a friend over coffee or drinks, because there are some writers who have a writer's voice. Sloane falls into the conversational category, which is what makes her voice so engaging and approachable, from the first essay to the last. The most mundane detail may end up being the pinnacle of the story, and she makes you want to hear it through to the end to see how she's going to resolve it. This is the mark of a great writer: who wins you over with her ability to communicate honestly and movingly.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Andrew Dorman
- 05-26-19
Funny, self-deprecating, & relatable essays
I was already a fan of her writing but Sloane maybe be the perfect reader for her own work. these essays are funny, self-deprecating, & relatable.
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Overall
- Kelly Roberts
- 05-06-11
Less-funny Chelsea Handler
Kinda funny, but really not all that thoughtful. Sloane Crosley has a really similar style to Chelsea handler, but isn't nearly as funny.
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5 people found this helpful
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Overall
- heydannie
- 01-27-09
Tease
This book started as very interesting with the ponies essay. I thought the perspective was good, and had a good amount of clever insights... but the majority are real bombs that bored at work i can't sit through.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Anna J King
- 03-08-24
Loved this book
So many relatable stories. So funny. The style reminds me of David Sedaris - if he were younger and female.
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Overall
- Paula
- 05-12-10
I Loved This Book!
This book was a fun listen, I think that this author is sooooo funny I can't wait for her next book.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Cassandra S.
- 09-12-17
witty essays and amusing thoughts to ponder
I really enjoyed it. kept my mind occupied during appointments like the dentist and acupuncturists.
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2 people found this helpful
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- tanya
- 01-09-12
i was told this would be funny
While Sloane Crosley has some moments of bright, shiny humor throughout I was Told There'd Be Cake, mostly the whole book falls flat. I kept waiting for the zinger around the corner but was regularly disappointed. Sloane describing her family's deep av ersion to open flame gave me hope that the rest of the book would be weird and silly. She is a good and capable reader of her own work and i suspect this is what saved much of the book. Overall i found it to be a bit whiny and predictable to listen to a woman of some privilege try and make her story unusual.
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11 people found this helpful