
It Gets Better . . . Except When It Gets Worse
And Other Unsolicited Truths I Wish Someone Had Told Me
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Narrated by:
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Nicole Maines
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By:
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Nicole Maines
About this listen
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • The irreverent and candid coming-of-age memoir of Nicole Maines, trailblazing trans actress, activist—and sometimes someone who’s just existing, which is actually pretty hard!
Nicole Maines knows a little something about “happily ever after”—not just because she’s a self-professed expert in the Disney princess canon, but because she’s lived it. After coming out at an early age, her family had not only to educate themselves, but also those around them as they fought and won a landmark court case in the state of Maine before she graduated high school. She made it into college, got the guy, and finally had The Surgery™. She achieved her lifelong goal of becoming an actress when she landed a major role in the CW’s Supergirl, playing television’s very first live-action transgender superhero.
Cue sappy music and sunsets, because we’ve got ourselves a happy ending, right?
Ha! As if.
For the first time, in her own words, Nicole tells the story of her journey from childhood in rural Maine to the spotlights of Hollywood, sharing the lessons she’s learned along the way. With clever wit and unflinching honesty, she tackles some of the most insidious messaging absorbed by queer kids and all young women, from the idea that any one thing can (or should) ever really “fix” you, to wondering what’s wrong with you when things don’t always feel better, and reminding us that, sometimes, a happy ending is only the beginning of the story.
©2024 Nicole Maines (P)2024 Random House AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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“[Nicole Maines’s] singular voice powers the book; she is open and humorous and a bit sly. . . . This is the memoir of a still young and confident woman, with more accomplishments yet to come.”—Kirkus Reviews
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Story
In this fabulous, fashion-forward guide, transgender icons Gigi Gorgeous and Gottmik discuss the ins and outs of being transgender with their honest, hilarious, and GORGEOUS tales of what it means to be true to oneself—and they've picked up a few friends along the way. Whether you're embarking on your own transgender journey or seeking the knowledge to be the best ally you can be, there is something to be learned from every story they tell.
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Very Interesting
- By sccergirl22 on 12-06-24
By: Gigi Gorgeous, and others
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Transgender History, Second Edition
- The Roots of Today's Revolution
- By: Susan Stryker
- Narrated by: Emily Cauldwell
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Covering American transgender history from the mid-20th century to today, Transgender History takes a chronological approach to the subject of transgender history, with each chapter covering major movements, writings, and events.
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something for everyone to learn
- By Nick G on 03-12-19
By: Susan Stryker
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She's Not There
- A Life in Two Genders
- By: Jennifer Finney Boylan
- Narrated by: Jennifer Finney Boylan
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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The provocative best seller She's Not There is the winning, utterly surprising story of a person changing genders. By turns hilarious and deeply moving, Jennifer Finney Boylan explores the territory that lies between men and women, examines changing friendships, and rejoices in the redeeming power of family. Told in Boylan's fresh voice, She's Not There is about a person bearing and finally revealing a complex secret.
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Inspiring novel of MTF transition
- By Jamie on 03-01-18
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Becoming Nicole
- The Transformation of an American Family
- By: Amy Ellis Nutt
- Narrated by: Amy Ellis Nutt
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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When Wayne and Kelly Maines adopted identical twin boys, they thought their lives were complete. But it wasn't long before they noticed a marked difference between Jonas and his brother, Wyatt. Jonas preferred sports and trucks and many of the things little boys were "supposed" to like; but Wyatt liked princess dolls and dress-up and playing Little Mermaid. By the time the twins were toddlers, confusion over Wyatt's insistence that he was female began to tear the family apart.
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More narratives like this, please.
- By book worm on 10-22-15
By: Amy Ellis Nutt
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Tomorrow Will Be Different
- Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality
- By: Sarah McBride, Joe Biden - foreword
- Narrated by: Sarah McBride
- Length: 9 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Before she became the first transgender person to speak at a national political convention in 2016 at the age of twenty-six, Sarah McBride struggled with the decision to come out—not just to her family but to the students of American University, where she was serving as student body president. She’d known she was a girl from her earliest memories, but it wasn’t until the Facebook post announcing her truth went viral that she realized just how much impact her story could have on the country.
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Amazing Trans story
- By MNB on 02-07-21
By: Sarah McBride, and others
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Before We Were Trans
- A New History of Gender
- By: Dr. Kit Heyam Ph.D
- Narrated by: Dr. Kit Heyam Ph.D
- Length: 8 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Before We Were Trans illuminates the stories of people across the globe, from antiquity to the present, whose experiences of gender have defied binary categories. Blending historical analysis with sharp cultural criticism, trans historian and activist Kit Heyam offers a new, radically inclusive trans history, chronicling expressions of trans experience that are often overlooked, like gender-nonconforming fashion and wartime stage performance. Heyam looks to the past to uncover new horizons for possible trans futures.
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The history we need right now
- By Daniel Hebert on 04-11-23
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The T Guide
- Our Trans Experiences and a Celebration of Gender Expression—Man, Woman, Nonbinary, and Beyond
- By: Gigi Gorgeous, Gottmik (a.k.a Kade Gottlieb), Swan Huntley
- Narrated by: Gigi Gorgeous, Gottmik (a.k.a Kade Gottlieb)
- Length: 4 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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In this fabulous, fashion-forward guide, transgender icons Gigi Gorgeous and Gottmik discuss the ins and outs of being transgender with their honest, hilarious, and GORGEOUS tales of what it means to be true to oneself—and they've picked up a few friends along the way. Whether you're embarking on your own transgender journey or seeking the knowledge to be the best ally you can be, there is something to be learned from every story they tell.
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Very Interesting
- By sccergirl22 on 12-06-24
By: Gigi Gorgeous, and others
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Transgender History, Second Edition
- The Roots of Today's Revolution
- By: Susan Stryker
- Narrated by: Emily Cauldwell
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Covering American transgender history from the mid-20th century to today, Transgender History takes a chronological approach to the subject of transgender history, with each chapter covering major movements, writings, and events.
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something for everyone to learn
- By Nick G on 03-12-19
By: Susan Stryker
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She's Not There
- A Life in Two Genders
- By: Jennifer Finney Boylan
- Narrated by: Jennifer Finney Boylan
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The provocative best seller She's Not There is the winning, utterly surprising story of a person changing genders. By turns hilarious and deeply moving, Jennifer Finney Boylan explores the territory that lies between men and women, examines changing friendships, and rejoices in the redeeming power of family. Told in Boylan's fresh voice, She's Not There is about a person bearing and finally revealing a complex secret.
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Inspiring novel of MTF transition
- By Jamie on 03-01-18
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Gender Euphoria
- Stories of Joy from Trans, Non-Binary and Intersex Writers
- By: Laura Kate Dale - editor
- Narrated by: Laura Kate Dale
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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So often the stories shared by trans people about their transition center on gender dysphoria: a feeling of deep discomfort with their birth-assigned gender, and a powerful catalyst for coming out or transitioning. But for many non-cisgender people, it's gender euphoria that pushes forward their transition: the joy the first time a parent calls them by their new chosen name, the first time they have the confidence to cut their hair short, the first time they truly embrace themself.
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simply life changing
- By Grant Vargas on 06-01-24
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Transgender 101
- A Simple Guide to a Complex Issue
- By: Nicholas Teich
- Narrated by: John Malone
- Length: 5 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Written by a social worker, popular educator, and member of the transgender community, this well-rounded resource combines an accessible portrait of transgenderism with a rich history of transgender life and its unique experiences of discrimination. Chapters introduce transgenderism and its psychological, physical, and social processes. They describe the coming out process and its effect on family and friends, the relationship between sexual orientation, and gender and the differences between transsexualism and lesser-known types of transgenderism.
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Very Dated
- By Jay on 11-16-19
By: Nicholas Teich
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Becoming Eve
- My Journey from Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman
- By: Abby Stein
- Narrated by: Abby Stein
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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Abby Stein was raised in a Hasidic Jewish community in Brooklyn, isolated in a culture that lives according to the laws and practices of 18th century Eastern Europe, speaking only Yiddish and Hebrew and shunning modern life. Stein was born as the first son in a dynastic rabbinical family, poised to become a leader of the next generation of Hasidic Jews. But Abby felt certain at a young age that she was a girl. She orchestrated a personal exodus from ultra-Orthodox manhood to mainstream femininity - a radical choice that forced her to leave her home, her family, her way of life.
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Incredible
- By Amazon Customer on 05-01-20
By: Abby Stein
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Whipping Girl
- A Transsexual Woman on Sexism and the Scapegoating of Femininity
- By: Julia Serano
- Narrated by: Julia Serano
- Length: 11 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Julia Serano shares her experiences and insights - both pre- and post-transition - to reveal the ways in which fear, suspicion, and dismissiveness toward femininity shape our societal attitudes toward trans women, as well as gender and sexuality as a whole. Serano's well-honed arguments and pioneering advocacy stem from her ability to bridge the gap between the often-disparate biological and social perspectives on gender. In this provocative manifesto, she exposes how deep-rooted the cultural belief is that femininity is frivolous, weak, and passive.
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Beautiful
- By Tamika on 11-05-16
By: Julia Serano
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Cleavage
- Men, Women, and the Space Between Us
- By: Jennifer Finney Boylan
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, Jennifer Finney Boylan
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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What is the difference between men and women? Jennifer Finney Boylan, bestselling author of She’s Not There and co-author of Mad Honey with Jodi Picoult, examines the divisions—as well as the common ground—between the genders, and reflects on her own experiences, both difficult and joyful, as a transgender American.
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Someday there may be no gender
- By stacey a shapiro on 03-26-25
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If I Was Your Girl
- By: Meredith Russo
- Narrated by: Samia Mounts
- Length: 7 hrs
- Unabridged
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Amanda Hardy is the new girl in school. Like anyone else, all she wants is to make friends and fit in. But Amanda is keeping a secret, and she's determined not to get too close to anyone. But when she meets sweet, easygoing Grant, Amanda can't help but start to let him into her life. As they spend more time together, she realizes just how much she is losing by guarding her heart. She finds herself yearning to share with Grant everything about herself, including her past.
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The middle
- By Kirah on 06-02-16
By: Meredith Russo
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Pageboy
- A Memoir
- By: Elliot Page
- Narrated by: Elliot Page
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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“Can I kiss you?” It was two months before the world premiere of Juno, and Elliot Page was in his first ever queer bar. The hot summer air hung heavy around him as he looked at her. And then it happened. In front of everyone. A previously unfathomable experience. Here he was on the precipice of discovering himself as a queer person, as a trans person. Getting closer to his desires, his dreams, himself, without the repression he’d carried for so long. But for Elliot, two steps forward had always come with one step back.
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Ah, I wish this were better. I'm disappointed.
- By Jackson Theofore Keys on 06-07-23
By: Elliot Page
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Trans Like Me
- Conversations for All of Us
- By: C.N. Lester
- Narrated by: CN Lester
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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In Trans Like Me, CN Lester takes listeners on a measured, thoughtful, intelligent yet approachable tour through the most important and high-profile narratives around the trans community, turning them inside out and examining where we really are in terms of progress. From the impact of the media's wording in covering trans people and issues to the way parenting gender variant children is portrayed, Lester brings their charged personal narrative to every topic and expertly lays out the work left to be done.
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An essential perspective
- By Sophia Clay on 10-07-19
By: C.N. Lester
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Trans
- When Ideology Meets Reality
- By: Helen Joyce
- Narrated by: Helen Joyce
- Length: 10 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Gender identity ideology is about more than Twitter storms and using the right pronouns. In just 10 years, laws, company policies, school and university curricula, sport, medical protocols, and the media have been reshaped to privilege self-declared gender identity over biological sex. People are being shamed and silenced for attempting to understand the consequences of redefining "man" and "woman". While compassion for transgender lives is well-intentioned, it is stifling much-needed inquiry into the significance of our bodies.
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rational, clear criticism of trans ideology
- By M. Horne on 02-08-22
By: Helen Joyce
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Understanding Gender Dysphoria
- Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture
- By: Mark A. Yarhouse
- Narrated by: Sebastian Crook
- Length: 6 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Few topics are more contested today than gender identity. Complex issues like gender dysphoria are reduced to slogans and sound bites. And while the war rages over language, institutions, and political allegiances, transgender individuals are the ones who end up being the casualties. Mark Yarhouse, an expert in sexual identity and therapy, challenges the church to rise above the political hostilities and listen to people's stories. Yarhouse offers a Christian perspective on transgender issues that eschews simplistic answers and appreciates the psychological and theological complexity.
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Slow as slow can be
- By Cameron on 02-27-25
By: Mark A. Yarhouse
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It Never Goes Away
- Gender Transition at a Mature Age
- By: Dr. Anne L. Koch
- Narrated by: Dr. Anne L. Koch
- Length: 7 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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If you are transgendered, the feeling of wanting your body to match the sex you feel you are never goes away. For some, though, especially those who grew up before trans people were widely out and advocating for equality, these feelings were often compartmentalized and rarely acted upon. Now that gender reassignment has become much more commonplace, many of these people may feel increasing pressure to finally undergo the procedures they have always secretly wanted.
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Typical upper class trans-snobbery
- By jon rios on 05-03-20
By: Dr. Anne L. Koch
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The Gay Revolution
- The Story of the Struggle
- By: Lillian Faderman
- Narrated by: Donna Postel
- Length: 29 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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The Gay Revolution begins in the 1950s, when law classified gays and lesbians as criminals, the psychiatric profession saw them as mentally ill, the churches saw them as sinners, and society victimized them with irrational hatred. Against this dark backdrop, a few brave people began to fight back, paving the way for the revolutionary changes of the 1960s and beyond.
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An outstanding book.
- By David Farley on 10-21-15
By: Lillian Faderman
What listeners say about It Gets Better . . . Except When It Gets Worse
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Melanie Rule
- 03-08-25
Everyone should read this book!
I hardly ever write reviews but this book deserves to be spread across the country especially in this crazy time. As a mom of a trans son I wish more people understood that my child is just trying to live their authentic and best life. Nicole’s book beautifully showcases how she knew who she was at a young age. And she is hilarious at the same time!
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- Anonymous User
- 11-29-24
I laughed, I cried, I started watching Supergirl
Nicole tells her story in such an open/honest way and manages to keep you entertained the entire time. Seriously, there was never a dull moment!
I love how she handles things with witty amusement, while also acknowledging the often harsher aspects of her lived experience as a trans woman. Let’s just say I’m a fan now.
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- Abigail Boen
- 11-07-24
Navigating Dysphoria and Healing: Nicole's Transgender Journey with heart and humor.
A relatable narrative of growing up as a trans girl, vividly capturing the early childhood struggles with dysphoria. I deeply resonate with the journey toward gender-affirming surgery—though I was fortunate to avoid complications, I vividly recall the long, painful healing process and the emotional rollercoaster post-op. My heartfelt thanks to Nicole for sharing her deeply personal story in such a visceral, humorous, and entertaining manner. Thank you, Nicole ❤️
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- Lauren S.
- 12-23-24
Tremendous on every level
Maines's personal story is deeply compelling presented with a level of vulnerability and self-awareness that I wish more people in this world possessed. She also deftly weaves into her narrative observations and insights about trans history, the trans community, and attacks on trans people and trans rights that, unfortunately, resonate deeply (and increasingly) with the current moment. Completing the package is Maines's delightful narration, which hits perfect notes of sarcastic, self-deprecating, silly, and sobering. Listening to this book is a transformative experience that you owe to give yourself and your loved ones.
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- VKG2020
- 12-04-24
Intimate and Authentic
I enjoyed this book a lot and it being read by the author herself was a big selling point to me. I was inspired by her bravery and authenticity in discussing the details of her life in such a candid manner. I feel like maybe I absorbed just a bit of that courage myself and I appreciate it a lot.
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- PamelaLeigh61
- 01-20-25
Never Dull Your Shine
What an inspiring story. When we give our children the space and love to be who they know they are - the world becomes a better place. If as a parent who cannot or will not love your child unconditionally- then please do not have children. Children who are loved and supported (not spoiled, there is a difference) can then grow up to be loving and supportive adults. It is a cycle we should all strive to be a part of. Be kind. You never know what someone is going through.
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- Richard James McMullen
- 01-01-25
Disappointed
There’s two types of transgender people the first ones go through transition to live their lives. The others look for spotlight and specialness. This book was very disappointing It was hard to listen to through the ignorance of using cuss words consistently . This book reminds me of that kid who thinks they know it all.
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