Man vs. Baby
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Narrated by:
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Matt Coyne
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By:
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Matt Coyne
About this listen
From a “hero for dads everywhere” (Daily Mirror), a hilarious, insightful, and heartfelt take on parenting based on a viral blog post that Ashton Kutcher called “the best description of fatherhood I’ve ever read”.
One Tuesday evening in 2015, while his three-month-old son, Charlie, briefly slept, Matt Coyne staggered to his desk, opened his laptop, and wrote a side-splittingly funny Facebook post about early fatherhood: Comparing his diaper-changing skills to that of a Formula One pit crew, birth to a Saw movie, and the sound of a baby crying at three am to “having the inside of your skill sandpapered by an angry Viking”, he shared his observations with friends and family - and soon, to his surprise, the world.
In the spirit of that post, which became an instant sensation, Man vs. Baby is the tale of one man’s journey through the first year of parenthood, told with wit, humor, and heart. Part memoir, part tell-it-like-it-is parenting book, this is a ferociously funny, inventively foul-mouthed, and genuinely touching account of a baby’s first year, filled with relatable references to Harry Potter, McDonald's, and the villain in Die Hard. Matt covers everything you need to know, from labor (a good time to play “profanity bingo”) to what you might find in your baby’s diaper, a catalogue that includes The Phantom, The Expressionist, and The Jeff Goldblum.
Capturing both the comic helplessness of new fatherhood and his deep love and admiration for his partner, Lyndsay, and child, Matt’s story will appeal to anyone who has a baby - or is even contemplating the idea. Whether you’re looking for a reprieve from the news cycle or a reminder of what’s most important in life, Man vs. Baby will have you laughing out loud - and, if you’re a new mother or father, filled with relief at being truly understood. A fresh take on the bewilderment and joy of having a baby from a rip-roaringly talented new voice, this combination memoir and advice book is sure to charm parents everywhere.
©2018 Matt Coyne (P)2018 Simon & Schuster AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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You’re A Parent Now...Don't Mess It Up
- By Tim on 04-16-15
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I Heart My Little A-Holes
- A Bunch of Holy-Crap Moments No One Ever Told You About Parenting
- By: Karen Alpert
- Narrated by: Karen Alpert
- Length: 3 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Popular blogger Karen Alpert shares her hysterical take on the many "joys" of parenting - I Heart My Little A-Holes is full of hilarious stories, lists, thoughts and pictures that will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper.
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Hilarious
- By Stephanie on 04-29-14
By: Karen Alpert
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Everything You Ever Wanted
- A Memoir
- By: Jillian Lauren
- Narrated by: Jillian Lauren
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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In her younger years, Jillian Lauren was a college dropout, a drug addict, and an international concubine in the Prince of Brunei's harem, an experience she immortalized in her best-selling memoir, Some Girls. In her 30s, Jillian's most radical act is learning the steadying power of love when she and her rock star husband adopt an Ethiopian child with special needs.
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Great for adoptive families
- By berry bomb on 07-06-22
By: Jillian Lauren
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#IMomSoHard
- By: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Narrated by: Kristin Hensley, Jen Smedley
- Length: 7 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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In their highly anticipated first audiobook, the hilarious mom duo with millions of followers explores all the ridiculous shit you’re expected to do to keep multiple humans alive and happy-ish and celebrates the love for the friends who get you through it.
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IRelateSoHard
- By Peekablue on 04-20-19
By: Kristin Hensley, and others
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Secrets of the Baby Whisperer
- How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with Your Baby
- By: Tracy Hogg
- Narrated by: Tracy Hogg
- Length: 2 hrs and 30 mins
- Abridged
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The author - a.k.a. "The Baby Whisperer - unlocks the secrets of infant language so that any parents, grandparents, or caregiver can interpret what babies are "saying" and give them what they need.
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a good place to start
- By Bk Marcus on 11-12-05
By: Tracy Hogg
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Dear Girls Above Me
- Inspired by a True Story
- By: Charles McDowell
- Narrated by: Kirby Heyborne
- Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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When Charlie McDowell began sharing his open letters to his noisy upstairs neighbors - two impossibly ditzy female roommates in their mid-twenties - on Twitter, his feed quickly went viral. His followers multiplied and he got the attention of everyone from celebrities to production studios to major media outlets such as Time and Glamour.
Now Dear Girls breaks out of the 140-character limit as Charlie imagines what would happen if he put the wisdom of the girls to the test.
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An Enjoyable Listen
- By Elle W on 11-05-13
By: Charles McDowell
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Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: John Ritter
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
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The American guy is not to be confused with a husband, father, hunk, or intellectual, says guy expert Dave Barry. Published just in time (the American guy faces extinction due to feminism, the men's movement, and stricter sanitation laws), this guide gives women helpful advice for understanding Him (or It) and offers men useful tips on remembering the names of their children and other dilemmas of life.
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I laughed all the way through
- By Alan Rither on 08-10-04
By: Dave Barry
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The Book of Help
- A Memoir in Remedies
- By: Megan Griswold
- Narrated by: Megan Griswold
- Length: 11 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilarious and heartbreaking memoir-in-remedies by a self-described "professional soul-searcher" that details a journey of self-discovery through more than 160 tonics, seminars, regimens, and transformative therapies. With a voice that is at once intimate and hilarious, Megan captures the openness and honesty necessary for people to take a new path in life. Listeners will open the audiobook with curiosity about all the different healing therapies that Megan tries, but leave with a new understanding of themselves.
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Mr. Toad's Wild Ride has some serious competition!
- By Elisa R. Goodman on 02-15-19
By: Megan Griswold
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The Very Worst Missionary
- A Memoir or Whatever
- By: Jamie Wright
- Narrated by: Madeleine Lambert
- Length: 4 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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After finding Jesus at a suburban megachurch, young Jamie Wright trades in the easy life on the cul-de-sac for the green fields of Costa Rica. There, along with her husband, kids, and the family cat, she intends to serve God and make converts. But she soon loses faith and falls into a funk of cynicism and despair. Fortunately, Knives the cat is there, looking on with just enough disinterest to make her laugh...and dare her to try another way. That other way turns out to be telling the truth. She launches a renegade blog, Jamie the Very Worst Missionary, which wins a large following.
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Didn’t like the book
- By Jonathan on 04-17-20
By: Jamie Wright
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My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper
- A Guide to the Less Than Perfect Life
- By: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Reece, Karen Karbo
- Length: 4 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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Much more relevant than I imagined
- By Bookish420 on 04-24-13
By: Gabrielle Reece, and others
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It's Not Me, It's You
- Impossible perfectionist, 27, seeks very very very tidy woman
- By: Jon Richardson
- Narrated by: Jon Richardson
- Length: 3 hrs and 16 mins
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A control freak looks for love (women who leave wet teaspoons in sugar bowls need not apply). ‘I haven’t woken up with a cup of tea by the bed for seven years. It seems such a small thing but it’s one of a thousand things I miss about having someone around to take care of me. I have spent my entire adult life getting things the way I want them and all I want now is someone to give it all up for.’ Jon Richardson. Is your filing faultless? Your CDs, apostrophes, cutlery all in the right places?
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Different, surprising comedy
- By Vasilia on 05-14-12
By: Jon Richardson
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Stories I'd Tell in Bars
- By: Jen Lancaster
- Narrated by: Jen Lancaster, John Fletcher
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Older, but not wiser, Lancaster goes back to basics in this hilarious essay collection about everything from taking community policing classes to accidentally getting high with her waiter after a fancy dinner. These are the tales she'd tell if she met you in a bar... if she weren't too lazy to put on pants and go to a bar. Offering advice ranging from how to remain happily married to a man who refuses to blow his damn nose already to not creating An Incident at the cheese counter during an attempt at Whole30, she's you, only louder.
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self absorbed
- By D D H on 06-15-19
By: Jen Lancaster
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Idiots
- Marriage, Motherhood, Milk & Mistakes
- By: Laura Clery
- Narrated by: Laura Clery
- Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot.
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Tears and laughs!!
- By Anonymous User on 04-07-22
By: Laura Clery
What listeners say about Man vs. Baby
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- JCG3
- 11-09-18
awesome break from clinical books to real life
bought on a recommendation from a fellow new dad at breastfeeding class. worth every penny! although laughing randomly for hours might make your wife think that you went insane while reading a baby book. try not to let the cat out of the bag that this book is way more funny than her baby book...
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- Fabio Fina
- 10-20-19
dad-to-be realness
Thank you, Matt, funny and real. Also, I loved the references to superheroes and hippie practices. Perfect preparation for dad-hood
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- Demetrius Samuel
- 02-01-19
Great listen.
Really helpful and hilarious. Illustrates one man's journey from the dad perspective with crazy metaphors. I loved every minute of it
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- Lianne Moore
- 05-19-19
Empowering and realistic
Decidedly not a how-to parenting, but a realistic perspective offering solidarity for prospective and new parents
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- procrashdummy
- 06-23-21
Great book!
I like how the book give you a true look into parenting from a normal man's perspective.
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- J. Stanisz
- 04-19-22
The book every father needs to read
With all the new dad books out there that talk down to new fathers like we are second class citizens this Is a more than welcome departure. This book makes you feel better about your parenting. It is brutally honest and truly a helpful and hilarious read. I cannot recommend this book enough. The audio version is read extremely well and really just great. If you are a new dad please listen to or read this book. It will make you a better dad.
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- Michael S.
- 02-20-19
I’ve told every expecting father I know about this book, and some new dads.
As an expecting new father myself, this book shattered my expectations of what a parenting book could be like in the best way possible. It’s “Gloves off” and “pull no punches” honesty was refreshing and incredibly entertaining. I worked late on purpose on the first night just to keep listening to the book. An amazing book and I can’t thank him enough for not only writing it, but reading the damn thing.
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- B. Edwards
- 07-08-24
Refreshing Baby Book
I laughed a lot and as a first time father-to-be I really appreciated that amidst the snark, sarcasm, and hyperbole, (spoiler alert) Coyne always came back to land the emotional roller coaster on a positive note.
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- hbisseck
- 05-18-18
More info less jokes
With limited time, I would rather focus on the information I’m seeking from the book rather than the non stop jokes. Book could have been 1/3 as long.
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- William
- 09-20-22
the Bar for men is low
I couldn't even finish.
this is a book for men who did nothing to prepare. if you find yourself not having read a single book on pregnancy or childbirth, back from the hospital and looking for someone to make you feel better about neglecting your duties as a partner and a father, you may enjoy this.
I reccomend instead reading as many books as you can on pregnancy and child care and doing some deep soul searching about what it means to be a compassionate and present human being before the birth.
it's sad that the bar for men is this low.
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