
Not a Match
My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
3 months free
Buy for $2.99
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Ax Norman
-
By:
-
Brian Donovan
About this listen
Forty million people in the US have tried Internet dating, which means 40 million people have probably gone on some pretty crappy dates. Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters is about one guy who experienced more than his fair share. Brian Donovan, a writer and comedian whose work has appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, and Chapelle's Show, has been on over 100 Internet dates in a genuine search for love and happiness.
©2013 Brian Donovan (P)2013 Audible, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
-
Yes Please
- By: Amy Poehler
- Narrated by: Amy Poehler, Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
-
-
Listen to this book for sure
- By S.F. on 10-31-14
By: Amy Poehler
-
Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
-
-
Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
-
Modern Romance
- An Investigation
- By: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
- Narrated by: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?
-
-
Entertaining and informative
- By ty on 08-23-15
By: Aziz Ansari, and others
-
Scrappy Little Nobody
- By: Anna Kendrick
- Narrated by: Anna Kendrick
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anna Kendrick's autobiographical collection of essays amusingly recounts memorable moments throughout her life, from her middle-class upbringing in New England to the blockbuster movies that have made her one of Hollywood's most popular actresses today. Expanding upon the witty and ironic dispatches for which she is known, Anna Kendrick's essays offer her one-of-a-kind commentary on the absurdities she's experienced on her way to and from the heart of pop culture.
-
-
Anna Kendrick: Scrappy Little... Revelation
- By Andrew on 01-17-17
By: Anna Kendrick
-
A Dirty Job
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.
-
-
Great Listen!
- By Janie on 03-24-06
-
Why Not Me?
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Greg Daniels, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares insightful, deeply personal stories about falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, and believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you’re constantly reminded that no one looks like you.
-
-
sad to even be writing this review :(
- By Brandin on 10-02-15
By: Mindy Kaling
-
Yes Please
- By: Amy Poehler
- Narrated by: Amy Poehler, Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, and others
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy’s parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza.
-
-
Listen to this book for sure
- By S.F. on 10-31-14
By: Amy Poehler
-
Bossypants
- By: Tina Fey
- Narrated by: Tina Fey
- Length: 5 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Before Liz Lemon, before Weekend Update, before Sarah Palin, Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: A recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV. She has seen both these dreams come true. At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've always suspected: You're no one until someone calls you bossy.
-
-
Tina Fey broke my new SUV
- By Warren on 04-07-11
By: Tina Fey
-
Modern Romance
- An Investigation
- By: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
- Narrated by: Aziz Ansari, Eric Klinenberg
- Length: 6 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?
-
-
Entertaining and informative
- By ty on 08-23-15
By: Aziz Ansari, and others
-
Scrappy Little Nobody
- By: Anna Kendrick
- Narrated by: Anna Kendrick
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anna Kendrick's autobiographical collection of essays amusingly recounts memorable moments throughout her life, from her middle-class upbringing in New England to the blockbuster movies that have made her one of Hollywood's most popular actresses today. Expanding upon the witty and ironic dispatches for which she is known, Anna Kendrick's essays offer her one-of-a-kind commentary on the absurdities she's experienced on her way to and from the heart of pop culture.
-
-
Anna Kendrick: Scrappy Little... Revelation
- By Andrew on 01-17-17
By: Anna Kendrick
-
A Dirty Job
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Fisher Stevens
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
People start dropping dead around Charlie, giant ravens perch on his building, and it seems that everywhere he goes, a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Strange names start appearing on his nightstand notepad, and before he knows it, those people end up dead, too. Yup, it seems that Charlie Asher has been recruited for a new job, an unpleasant but utterly necessary one: Death.
-
-
Great Listen!
- By Janie on 03-24-06
-
Why Not Me?
- By: Mindy Kaling
- Narrated by: Mindy Kaling, Greg Daniels, B. J. Novak
- Length: 4 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares insightful, deeply personal stories about falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, and believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you’re constantly reminded that no one looks like you.
-
-
sad to even be writing this review :(
- By Brandin on 10-02-15
By: Mindy Kaling
-
Girl Logic
- The Genius and the Absurdity
- By: Iliza Shlesinger
- Narrated by: Mayim Bialik, Iliza Shlesinger
- Length: 5 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From breakout stand-up comedian Iliza Shlesinger comes a subversively funny collection of essays and observations on a confident woman's approach to friendship, singlehood, and relationships. "Girl Logic" is Iliza's term for the way women obsess over details and situations that men don't necessarily even notice. She describes it as a characteristically female way of thinking that appears to be contradictory and circuitous but is actually a complicated and highly evolved way of looking at the world.
-
-
A delight
- By Haha917 on 03-28-18
By: Iliza Shlesinger
-
The Game
- Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
- By: Neil Strauss
- Narrated by: Neil Strauss
- Length: 9 hrs and 27 mins
- Abridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hidden somewhere, in nearly every major city in the world, is an underground seduction lair. And in these lairs, men trade the most devastatingly effective techniques ever invented to charm women. This is not fiction. These men really exist. They live together in houses known as Projects. And Neil Strauss, the best-selling author, spent two years living among them, using the pseudonym Style to protect his real-life identity. The result is one of the most explosive and controversial books of the year.
-
-
Won't up your Game, but better than reality TV
- By David on 06-07-15
By: Neil Strauss
-
Girl Walks into a Bar...
- Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle
- By: Rachel Dratch
- Narrated by: Rachel Dratch
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Anyone who saw an episode of Saturday Night Live between 1999 and 2006 knows Rachel Dratch. She was hilarious! So what happened to her? After a misbegotten part as Jenna on the pilot of 30 Rock, Dratch was only getting offered roles as "Lesbians. Secretaries. Sometimes secretaries who are lesbians." Her career at a low point, Dratch suddenly had time for yoga, dog- sitting, learning Spanish - and dating. After all, what did a forty-something single woman living in New York have to lose?
-
-
Flowing comedic reality
- By Steve on 05-01-12
By: Rachel Dratch
-
Caverns and Creatures: Volume I (Books 1-4)
- By: Robert Bevan
- Narrated by: Jonathan Sleep
- Length: 32 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.
-
-
A great listen, but don't listen while in public!
- By Jonathan on 06-26-19
By: Robert Bevan
-
And One Last Thing...
- By: Molly Harper
- Narrated by: Amanda Ronconi
- Length: 8 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Lacey Terwilliger's shock and humiliation over her husband's philandering prompt her to add some bonus material to Mike's company newsletter: stunning Technicolor descriptions of the special brand of "administrative support" his receptionist gives him. The detailed mass e-mail to Mike's family, friends, and clients blows up in her face, and before one can say "instant urban legend", Lacey has become the pariah of her small Kentucky town and a media punch line....
-
-
For me this was such a HOOT!!!
- By d.e.matthews on 02-12-11
By: Molly Harper
-
Can You Keep a Secret?
- By: Sophie Kinsella
- Narrated by: Kate Reading
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Meet Emma Corrigan, a young woman with a huge heart, an irrepressible spirit, and a few little secrets.
-
-
SO MUCH FUN
- By J. Smith on 04-14-04
By: Sophie Kinsella
-
Let's Pretend This Never Happened
- A Mostly True Memoir
- By: Jenny Lawson
- Narrated by: Jenny Lawson
- Length: 8 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For fans of Tina Fey and David Sedaris - Internet star Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess, makes her literary debut. Jenny Lawson realized that the most mortifying moments of our lives - the ones we'd like to pretend never happened - are in fact the ones that define us. In Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson takes readers on a hilarious journey recalling her bizarre upbringing in rural Texas, her devastatingly awkward high school years, and her relationship with her long-suffering husband, Victor.
-
-
Actually, not for fans of Sedaris and Fey
- By BostonMom on 04-29-12
By: Jenny Lawson
-
Seriously...I'm Kidding
- By: Ellen DeGeneres
- Narrated by: Ellen DeGeneres
- Length: 3 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
"I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" (Ellen DeGeneres)
-
-
Not so much.
- By Julie on 10-11-11
By: Ellen DeGeneres
-
Almost Interesting
- The Memoir
- By: David Spade
- Narrated by: David Spade
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
David Spade is best known for his harsh "Hollywood Minute" sketches on SNL, his starring roles in movies like Tommy Boy and Joe Dirt, and his seven-year stint as Dennis Finch on the series Just Shoot Me. Now, with a wit as dry as the weather in his home state of Arizona, the "comic brat extraordinaire" delivers a memoir.
-
-
Everything You Could Want in an Autobiography
- By Zoegirl777 on 10-30-15
By: David Spade
-
Heartburn
- By: Nora Ephron
- Narrated by: Meryl Streep
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Is it possible to write a sidesplitting novel about the breakup of the perfect marriage? If the writer is Nora Ephron, the answer is a resounding yes. For in this inspired confection of adultery, revenge, group therapy, and pot roast, the creator of Sleepless in Seattle reminds us that comedy depends on anguish as surely as a proper gravy depends on flour and butter.
-
-
Be the Heroine , Not the Victim
- By Cynthia on 07-12-13
By: Nora Ephron
-
One More Thing
- Stories and Other Stories
- By: B. J. Novak
- Narrated by: B. J. Novak, Rainn Wilson, Jenna Fischer, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
B.J. Novak's One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories is an endlessly entertaining, surprisingly sensitive, and startlingly original debut that signals the arrival of a brilliant new voice in American fiction. A boy wins a $100,000 prize in a box of Frosted Flakes - only to discover how claiming the winnings might unravel his family. A woman sets out to seduce motivational speaker Tony Robbins - turning for help to the famed motivator himself. A new arrival in Heaven, overwhelmed with options, procrastinates over a long-ago promise to visit his grandmother....
-
-
It gets better, and better, and better, and better
- By David Shear on 02-07-14
By: B. J. Novak
-
The Bedwetter
- Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee
- By: Sarah Silverman
- Narrated by: Sarah Silverman
- Length: 5 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the outrageously filthy and oddly innocent comedienne and star of the powerful 2015 film I Smile Back Sarah Silverman comes a memoir—her first book—that is at once shockingly personal, surprisingly poignant, and still pee-in-your-pants funny. If you like Sarah's television show The Sarah Silverman Program, or memoirs such as Chelsea Handler's Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea and Artie Lange's Too Fat to Fish, you'll love The Bedwetter.
-
-
a surprisingly nice, unsurprisingly funny memoir
- By Jamie on 04-30-10
By: Sarah Silverman
Editorial reviews
Brian Donovan’s comic tale of his history with Internet dating might seem mean-spirited if the criticism weren’t, in large part, self-deprecating. Donovan, who’s written for Late Night With Jimmy Fallon and Chapelle’s Show, mines the deep well of comedic gold that is Internet dating by going on an exorbitant amount of dates with all sorts of women - and a few that he couldn’t even be sure were women. Ax Norman delivers Donovan’s chronicles in a personal tone that feels both instructional and confessional. If you’re one of the millions of people who’ve experienced online dating for yourself, or if you’re a curious outsider, prepare yourself for an insider's look at the widely popular phenomenon and all of the insights into human relationships it provokes.
Was Not a Match worth the listening time?
Not a Match was moderately entertaining. It did not make me laugh even once, but it wasn't bad. If your time is valuable, you aren't missing anything if you pass this book up, but if you need something light to listen to while you paint your bedroom it is perfect.It was fine.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Is there anything you would change about this book?
Hmmm, it's a tough balance to write insults that are funnier than they are insulting. This pretty much erred on the insulting side to me without being clever enough to really make me laugh.Was Not a Match worth the listening time?
I wouldn't buy it again or recommend it. I got it as a freebie or twofer or something.Not My Cup of Humor
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?
No. Not worth the time.Was Not a Match worth the listening time?
The narration grated on my ears. He sounded like a 14-year-old geek. I guess it made it more believable that he "needed" those 100 on-line dates.Nasal narration.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
What made the experience of listening to Not a Match the most enjoyable?
this was a cute story and very funny. He had a couple of "oh that happened to me too." moments that made a connection for the listenerIf you’ve listened to books by Brian Donovan before, how does this one compare?
this is my first onWhat does Ax Norman bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?
the tone and sarcasm fit into the store well.Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
it was funny I laughed and wanted to share this book with my single girlfriends.Cute for a short flight
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
so so...
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes, I thought it was funny.What was one of the most memorable moments of Not a Match?
He has some pretty funny stories.Did Ax Norman do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?
He didn't really have to do any other characters because of the way the story is written.Pretty good for a free book
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Why I read this book
Every once in a while, Audible is very generous and gives you free books! Off course, not always you find something that looks interesting, but this time I found this book and decided to give it a try.
What the book is about
For a bit more than 2 hours we learn about Donovan's experiences in dating online mostly through Match. The book alternates between chapters about a specific dating experience and chapters with hints or tips for the online dating world.
First impressions
We decided to listen to this book, together with my boyfriend while commuting to work. It felt like a light, fun book to start and end the working day with, and we were not mistaken.
Final thoughts
Was it a fun book? Yes, a couple of times I burst into laughter at the nonsense happening. Was it light? Yes, the book is unpretentious and very relaxed and with a good amount of funny situations. I don't think I would've bought this book on my own I have to say. Ax Norman has a nice rhythm and tone, but it is hard to say anything else about him as a narrator with this particular book.
Funny but not extremely
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Not funny!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Would you try another book from Brian Donovan and/or Ax Norman?
Over a thousand reviews of this book - and why? Internet dating is huge today, so this book looked just as hot. But no. Donovan rates women like cattle at an auction and himself - deservedly - as shallow and unworthy of women everywhere. I felt more empahy choosing a masseuse through a window in Bangkok than this guy could even begin to feel. Does he represent a norm for his generation? I hope not.Would you ever listen to anything by Brian Donovan again?
Donovan must be a sociopath with a budding flair for comedy. Why would anyone read a second book? It's hard to say unless, like me, they recognize that the guy says stuff the rest of us are afraid to say, so.....Would you be willing to try another one of Ax Norman’s performances?
Az Norman was the perfect choice to reflect the geeky, shalow author. He sounded like a late-twenties-something frat boy with enough residual autism to be nearly totally blind to the souls and values of fellow humans. Imagine a young Mitt Romney reading such a book.Some of the writing was truly funny, but would have been better "timed" through the use of a reader with a successful comedian's credentials.Do you think Not a Match needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
Actually yes. Donovan might atone for Not a Match with a book revealing greater depth -- on so many levels.Such a hot topic with zero empathy
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Just do the math. Literally. Brian Donovan wrote an equation for you (kind of.)
I've been on a lot of disastrous, semi-disastrous, or dull dates (and will likely go on many more), and I wish they'd been half as entertaining as Brian Donovan. His prose is sardonic, his wit dry, and his writing style entertaining.
Ax Norman was a great narrator; effusive where necessary, sarcastic in the right spots. He embodied the voice of Donovan's New York-style of storytelling very well. I kept reaching for my coffee thinking it was a cocktail and remembering I was in the office, and not a bar in the village, on a first date, listening to his stories.
Dating in New York is a Horrible Crapshoot.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.